This is like a mix of Insert Witty Title Here and Epic. :/
Luna Stella Sakura's (1) deep blue orbs glistened with bravery, fear, happiness, hidden angst and kawaii-desu contradictions. A man in a seven foot suit of armor was being attacked. How could she cower in a corner helplessly? She knew that she had to do something-- after all, it was obvious that the enormous mass of metal held a defenseless, innocent young boy. He would never survive without her help.
She silently pulled a knife from her pocket and leapt swiftly behind the attacker. "Freeze," she said as she pressed the knife against his throat.
"AIEEEE!" the attacker squealed. "I AM SO FRIGHTENED OF A SMEXY YOUNG GIRL WITH A KNIFE! I HAVE NO PRIDE OR ENDURANCE! OH NO, I AM FAINTING, SOMEONE CATCH ME!" The attacker fainted. No one caught him.
The armored boy trembled. "Y-you saved me!" he exclaimed. "Thank you for rushing to my assistance, as I clearly can't save myself from this nameless, faceless, motiveless attacker who wants my life for unknown reasons!"
"Yeah, well," said Luna Stella Sakura. "It was my honor." She smiled attractively. "Let's sit down and talk to each other as if nothing happened."
"That is a fantastic idea," he said. They sat down and talked to each other as if nothing had happened.
"I'm Luna Stella Sakura," said Luna Stella Sakura. "Who are you?"
"Alphonse Elric," said Al. "When I was ten, my brother and I tried to bring our mother back to life. My body was taken away as punishment, but my brother attached my soul to this suit of armor by sacrificing his right arm. If the seal of his blood is broken, I'll die. I'm telling you this because you are cute, young and female."
"I see," said Stella Luna Sakura. "I think I love you. Let's have a cutesy fluffsy relationshit."
"I agree," said Al. "But it has to remain cutesy and fluffsy, as I am an innocent young boy."
"As am I," said Stella Luna Sakura. "Except I'm not a boy. Come, Alphonse! Let us run away and squeal over kitties together!"
Al and Stella Luna Sakura ran away and squealed over kitties together.
Ed was forgotten.
(1) Which just so happens to be the name of my new jellyfish on Happy Aquarium. :)