Toy story belongs to Joss Whedon, Andrew Stanton, Joel Cohen, and Alec Sokolow, as well as Disney and Pixar.

Dr. Horrible belong to Joss Whedon, Jed Whedon, Zack Whedon, and Maurissa Tancharoen.

Not me.

Captain Hammer sighed as he picked up the fallen ray gun, lifting the dull blue thing to the light to see its name in silver on the side.

"'Stuff Ray.' You're really hurtin' for ideas, huh?" He glanced down at the villain, trapped under his feet.

"It's supposed to stuff you, make you really fat, so you can't move." Dr. Horrible's muffled voice rose from the pavement. Poor guy was face-down in a puddle, trying to keep his nose and mouth out of it to breathe. Huh, right, poor guy, uh-huh. Clearing his throat Hammer shifted a little more weight onto Billy's back, relishing in the cracks of bones and groans of pain.

"Doctor, you should know by now, I'll never be fat. Let alone let you win. Give up?"


"Sounds like a plan to me." He took his other foot off the pavement, the whimper from Horrible being enough to put it on his back instead of back on the ground. He had to admit, Horrible had great posture; made an awesome platform to stand on.

"Get OFF!" Billy wheezed, knowing he could take only so much weight before he passed out. Trying to shake Hammer off was easier said than done, and with Hammer, nothing was ever easily said. "Please, come on, I can't breathe!"

"Let's make a deal. I'll let you up. And you can run. But if I hit you with your gun, I take you to jail." Billy paused in his struggle, trying to figure out what Hammer meant. Now, it could go both ways; Hammer could literally throw the gun and hit Billy with it; in which case he'd probably be dead from the impact and it wouldn't matter… or Hammer could shoot him with the gun; where he'd be five tons and lucky to be able to move let alone have a cell in jail before the effects wear off and he can run again. Choices choices.

"Deal." Right now, he just wanted air.

"You have until five." The boots were off his back, "One. Three.-" Aw shoot! Billy scrambled to his feet, taking off crazily all limbs and smock down the alley.

"FIVE!" Billy felt the cold beam of the ray hit him in the back, making him scream out as ice griped his heart and seized his lungs. The brick wall in front of him phased out, and he hit the ground once again.

Hammer waited, watching as Billy's body seized in mid-step, causing him to fall sideways behind a dumpster. So he waited again, hoping to see a huge Dr. Horrible expand out until he was stuck between the walls. But nothing happened. Slightly annoyed (but not surprised) Hammer tramped into the alley, gun pointed at where Horrible fell.

"I see you failed. Again. Doctor, really, give up these ray-guns, they never wor…" The words faded from his lips as he saw what had become of his nemesis. A moment passed, then a second one, and in the third one Hammer dropped the gun and bent double, laughing until tears dripped from his chin.

"You've got to be kidding me! Doc, Doc, your gun worked! You're stuffed alright!" At his feet lay, face-down, a Dr. Horrible marionette. "You're a toy! God, I can't believe it! You made yourself a toy! Hahahaha! And I always thought you to be a teddy bear!" Big fingers wrapped around the chest of the toy, lifting it into the air to get a good look at it.

It looked just like Horrible! Only, made out of wood… articulated joints flopped around uselessly under the white smock, shrunken to fit the foot-tall doll. The painted face on the carved wood looked so real; there were two shining taxidermy-like blue eyes and even a painted grin! Big ears sat under a glued-on blond wig complete with goggles resting on his forehead. It even had gloves and shoes! Strings lead from various parts of its body to a cross-piece that hung limply, un-used by Hammer.

"This is perfect." Hammer admired the quality of the puppet. The gun did a really good job. Wait… how good? Lifting up the smock he pulled down the small-doll trousers, smirking at the featureless body of wood. "Okay, your gun did fail. I've seen you without a shirt on, seriously. You're not as fit as me, but you're no flat piece of wood either. But it got one thing right, you still have no balls!"

"Hey! Where's Doc?" Hammer turned as Moist's voice greeted him, hiding the puppet quickly.

"Ran off!" Hammer watched as the frantic henchman ran down the street, trying to find his friend. Pulling the doll around again, Hammer gave an evil little smile. "Boy, I know just what to do with you."