The disclaimer telling you that I don't own anything has gone to the opera. This is a redone, reprinted parody I did a while back. Just madness really.

The Blob of Penzance

"Hello," Lance said. "Welcome to Classic Mutant Theatre. Tonight our very own Blob will be singing for us. Basically he kept complaining that there weren't enough fics featuring him on this site. And who are we to argue with a guy who can flatten us all into next week? So we decided to redo this."

"That and the fact that RW was too lazy to do something original," Pietro quipped. "So once again, despite public appeal and a bounty from the Light Opera Society here is the Blob with his own song to the tune of I Am A Very Model Of A Modern Major General…Because you know who isn't smart enough to come up with her own music…Ladies and Gentlemen! The Blob!"

"Ta da!" Fred walked out in a tuxedo. "It's me!"

"Really? I thought it was Pavarotti?" Pietro quipped. "Although I have to admit there is a slight resemblance."

Fred added. "Oh for those of you who don't know the original song you can look up that episode of the Muppets when Gilda Radner sings with that giant carrot. I think it's also from a play of some sort. And now…Me Me Me!"

"Oh brother…" Lance groaned as the music began.

Fred sang:

I am the very model of a modern mega mutant.

I'm big and strong and powerful and very, very cute-ant!

I'm a master of disaster! A prince of pulverizing!

Although I must admit I have a little trouble socializing.

I'm known throughout the Brotherhood as the Immovable Object.

Mystique's car, the X-Men's jeep are only a few things I have wrecked.

All my life I have been picked on and laughed at just because I am fat.

But if you do the same to me, I will sit on you and squash you all flat.

Everyone sees me as a big fat dumb loser bully.

But there's a side to me that people very rarely see.

To tell the truth I'm really very sensitive.

But when I get teased my anger gets intens-it-ive.

I get into a blinding rage and then I get really, really mad.

But when I come to my senses I feel really, really bad.

The guys in the Brotherhood are the best friends that I have ever had.

And now that I think about it that is really very, very sad.

Toad's the coolest even though he smells like cow excrement.

Mystique was okay but she really needed anger management.

Avalanche is so vain, he thinks he's the most attractive.

And let's face it, Quicksilver is way to hyperactive.

Pyro is the new guy but he always has fire on the brain.

Rogue and Boom Boom were here a while but left because we drove them insane.

The Scarlet Witch is the most powerful but she's always so angry and stressed.

And Sabertooth is always fighting Wolverine. That man is way too obsessed!

Magneto's never around. He's always hiding out of sight.

The X-Geeks are a bunch of loser jerks that we always have to fight.

They have an entire show and to me that doesn't seem quite right.

Since I'm stuck with these knuckleheads each and every single night.

But I'm still very, very strong and powerful and very cute-ant!

And that is why I am the very model of a modern mega mutant!

"Folks that sound you hear is Gilbert and Sullivan rolling over in their graves," Pietro groaned.