Matthew wished for once that his trademark invisibility was working, but it seemed to be on the fritz. Gilbert kept glancing between himself and Feliciano with a knowing smirk.

"So, Matthew, Feliciano's tower, it leans right?"

Matthew nearly spat his spaghetti onto Ludwig's mortified face. Italy looked up at Gilbert cheerfully, momentarily distracted from his food.

"Of course my tower leans! You know that! You've seen it before haven't you? If not you must, it's quite a sight! Yes, yes! You must come and see!"

"Or see and come," Gilbert burst out laughing as Ludwig and Matthew stared at their food and then each other, and then quickly back towards their food.

"I'm so hilarious," Gilbert crowed. Feliciano blinked.

"What was funny? I don't get it! Ne, ne, Ludwig~ explain the joke."

Germany looked rather caught out and glanced at Matthew for rescuing, but then quickly looked away, bad memories stirring in his mind.

"It wasn't really all that funny anyway," Ludwig grumbled and glared at his brother. Gilbert grinned back.

"Aww~ You always say that when Gilbert makes a joke!" The Italian whined, "I want to know!!" Feliciano gave Ludwig the puppy dog eyes. This, as Feliciano knew, always worked. Ludwig went red trying to figure out words to explain the joke (or make up another joke... which he wasn't very good at)

Just as he opened his mouth the doorbell rang.

"Oh thank God!" he said quickly getting up.

"I'll get it West!"

"Sit down, eat your spaghetti and for the love of all that is holy don't speak!"


"I'll, um, help," Matthew said quickly following. Germany, no matter how awkward, was better than Gilbert and his innuendos.

The door bell rang again.

"I'm coming, I'm coming," Ludwig called.

"What are you doing?!" a voice at the other side of the door shouted.

"He's taking too long!" Another whined. Matthew stopped dead. Oh no...

Ludwig opened the door. Alfred had his foot out as if he were just about the kick the door down. Arthur was trying to hold him back. They blinked at the confused looking German.

"Oh, hello," Arthur said quickly letting go of Alfred.

"Heya!" Alfred waved a big grin on his face, "Is Matthew still here?"

Ludwig blinked and glanced over to the right where the Canadian was standing beside him. Alfred and Arthur still had bright smiles on their faces. He nodded towards the Canadian, but there was still no reaction. It was as if... they didn't notice.

Matthew of course knew the truth. He sighed and waved.

"Right here guys."

"Oh! Matthew!" Arthur exclaimed.

"Hey little bro," Alfred greeted, "Where'd you pop up from?"

Matthew just shook his head. Apparently his unique talent wasn't on the fritz after all; Gilbert was just immune to it...

"We heard you were here," Arthur said awkwardly.

"Um... yeah..." Matthew said slowly. It didn't seem that Arthur was going to say any more than that, and even Alfred looked like he had no idea what to say. Perhaps they knew about Feliciano and Matthew? But how could they? Ludwig and Gilbert were the only ones that knew... then again Ludwig wouldn't put it past his brother to send a text message... or... or post it on facebook... or something vulgar like that. Then he got an idea.

He glanced at the three. On the one hand, it would be very awkward for Matthew, but on the other hand, Gilbert might stop making innuendos and they could have a nice quiet dinner.

"Why don't you join us for supper?" He said trying to be jovial, "Feliciano always makes too much."

"Free food! I'm in," Al said walking into the house without a 'by your leave.'

"Erm," Arthur said glaring at the American's back, "If you're sure..." he said looking back at Ludwig and then towards Matthew carefully.

"Oh, yes, certainly, I insist!" Ludwig said steering the Englishman into the house and down the hall. Matthew sighed closing the door. Maybe if he left now no one would notice.

"Matthew! Your spaghetti's getting cold!!" Feliciano shouted. Matthew slumped in defeat.


Once everyone was seated with a plate full of spaghetti everything seemed peaceful. Ludwig mentally smiled. His plan had worked. Then again, his brother did have more tact than to spout innuendos in front of—

"So how big is Canada really?" Gilbert asked Alfred with a vicious smile.

What was he thinking? His brother had absolutely no tact at all!!!

"I mean," Gilbert continued, "I know that Feliciano would know, but I was wondering, you being the kid's closest neighbour and all..."

Alfred froze looking caught out. He glanced at Matthew and then Gilbert, then he looked suspiciously around the room, "I'm not falling for that again, HE's not around is he? Is he trying to set me up? Look, yes, I called the provinces states and thought the Prime Minister's name was John Poutine, but it was on the spot, I know lots about Matt! Lots!" He looked around the room again, "Alright, where is he? Where is that bastard? Fool me once, shame on you, but fool me twice you lose your teeth!!"

Arthur, Ludwig, Feliciano and Gilbert glanced at Alfred curiously who was now standing up, a determined look on his face.

"Rick's not here, he doesn't do that anymore anyways," Matthew muttered into his plate as bright red as the tomato sauce on his spaghetti. Alfred blinked, looked around one more time, just in case, and sat down again.

"Oh." He said looking awkward, "Well," he crossed his arms defensively, "I--I still know lots about Matt. He's big, really big, huge even! Yeah, he's the hugest country there is! Bigger than Brazil, China... even me, and I'm awesomely big! He's the biggest there is...well... except for Russia, but if he keeps shrinking—what's so funny?"

Gilbert was trying desperately to hold back his giggles. Ludwig wanted to crawl under the table and stab his brother to death with a fork, but admirably held himself back.

"That's right isn't it?" Alfred asked his brother worriedly. Matthew said nothing trying desperately to concentrate on his spaghetti and not drown himself in it.


"Looks like he's too busy enjoying Feliciano's pasta and meatballs," Gilbert says, "he LOVES Feliciano's pasta and meatballs."

"Well who doesn't?" Feliciano replied proudly, "My pasta and meatballs are the best in the world!"

"Is this all an inside joke that we're not getting?" Arthur asked suspiciously as Gilbert nearly fell off his chair.

"Inside, joke, yeah that's right, it's an INSIDE joke," Gilbert laughed rancorously.

"No, no!" Ludwig said quickly, "No, not at all, forgive my brother, he's an idiot, aren't you Gilbert?"

"I may be an idiot, but at least I don't SUCK."

Screw it, he was getting forked.

Before Ludwig could make his move Gilbert continued.

"So, was the maple syrup sticky?"

Forget the fork, he'd strangle him. Matthew stood up looking like he was ready to burst into tears.

"I-I have to go to the bathroom!" He said and quickly rushed away from the table. Gilbert stopped laughing a frown forming on his face. Ah, poor Matt, the idiot had obviously gone too far.

"You okay—" the door upstairs slammed, "Matt?" Alfred called. He frowned, "Um, maybe I should go check on him, he looked really red. Maybe he's sick?" The American asked. Arthur was glaring angrily at the Prussian.

"No, I'll go talk to him," Gilbert said quickly standing up looking ashamed, "I... it was a joke that went too far." He quickly followed Matthew up the stairs.


As Gilbert got to the bathroom door he heard muffled sounds coming through the door.

He stopped just outside and hesitated but when he heard the sound of the running water he knocked lightly.

"Matthew? You there?"

Nothing. Not even the running water anymore.

"Umm... I'm coming in now, kay?"

He went to open up the door. It was locked.

Well, that won't do.

Gilbert turned and walked over to the wall across from the door then turned back and charged.

The door to the bathroom crashed open to a shocked slightly wet face.

"W-what are you doing in here?" Matthew asked as he turned back to the mirror, trying to get rid of the puffy eyes and runny nose his crying had produced and ignore the man responsible for it.

Gilbert stood flush against the Canadian because of his almost-but-not-quite failed attempt at stopping after breaking the door down.

He shifted away as much as her could in the small space provided.

"I just wanted to apologise, that last comment went too far and I shouldn't be teasing you since you obviously don't want anyone else to know... so, I-I'm s-s-sorry. Man, that was harder to do than I thought."

Matt was almost sure he wasn't supposed to hear that last bit, though it was kinda cute to know that Gilbert didn't apologise much and that he'd decided to do so for Matt's sake.

"No, it's ok, I shouldn't have overreacted like that."

He turned to smile at the Prussian.

Gilbert gulped. He turned away slightly then turned back, glancing at Matthews face. No guy should look that cute just after crying.

"Well, umm... to tell you the truth the reason I was joking so much is because I was jeal—miffed. I mean, why would you go for Feliciano when there's a full five metres just two metres away from you?"

He blushed and turned his head away slightly. He whipped his head back though when he heard more muffled noises coming from the shorter country and his jaw dropped at the laughter that shook the Canadian's body.

Matthew was almost bent over double and clutching his stomach and mouth to keep the giggles wracking his frame in.

Gilbert stood in shocked silence.

Eventually Matthew straightened. "I-I'm sorry, shouldn't laugh like that but... ha ha ha." He giggled again and then put a hand on Gilberts arm. "Thank you, I've needed to laugh like that for a while."

Gilbert flushed and stared at the smiling face still wet just inches away from his own. Gilbert licked his own lips nervously at the sight of Matthew's slightly parted mouth.

"Can I kiss you?" Was the quiet whisper.

"Sure." Was the soft reply.

Lips touched tentatively and soon a small body was pressed up against the sink with a taller body pressed up against it. A leg became wedged into the space between two thighs and hands were tangled in clothes and hair.

"I think we have a problem here and not much space in which to remedy it." Gilbert whispered into the shell of Matthew's ear.

"Ooh... I don't know. We could use the toilet. A-ah~"

Gilbert raised his head from the other's neck nibbling on the bite he'd put there. "No, I have an idea."

He reached a hand out and pulled the sliding glass door aside. Good, there was a hand bar.

"Here, one sec."

He moved over to the shower and turned the water on then waited while it warmed up.

Ouch! Way too hot. He tweaked the shower heads until it ran at a more comfortable temperature closer to slightly too hot rather than boiling or lukewarm.

He turned to Matthew to find him sitting on the toilet seat.

"Now, we need to get you out of those clothes."

He began advancing on the other nation.

"Wh-why?" Matthew asked as the other started stripping him.

"You can't go into a shower with clothes on." Gilbert said mock-innocently.

Once Matt was stripped he quickly shed his own and ushered them both under the warm water.

"Why are we here again? And WHAT are you doing?!" Matt asked as Gilbert reached around him and grabbed the soap, he then began soaping up the body almost pressed flush against him.

"Washing you of course. We were being dirty, we need to get clean." He said in such a tone that Matthew could only groan and lean against him. Or maybe that was because Gil had just started to massage his cock making the half-hard organ grow and swell in his hot hand.

"N-no, Gilbert, wait! We sh-shoudn't do this, not here. Ludwig and Feliciano and A-arthur and Alfred are still downstairs. They'll hea-ooh~" He started to pant as Gilbert moved one hand down and back to tease the small pucker with a soapy finger. His other hand grabbing the throbbing cock in its stead.

"I'd say don't drop the soap," Matthew could practically feel the grin against his ear, "But we can both see all the problems with that."

Matthew threw his head back against the frosted glass and panted as he thrust onto those daring fingers.

"Here, touch mine too." Gilbert said as he pushed another finger in with the first. He guided Matthew's hand down to his throbbing length and moaned under his breath as the smaller man's hand tightened and began pumping slightly, growing bolder as a third finger was added and Gilbert pushed him back against the side wall.


Ludwig had thought all his troubles were gone the moment his brother left the table, but it turned out they were just beginning. It had been at least ten minutes and neither Matthew nor Gilbert had appeared. Alfred and Arthur looked like they were getting antsy. Feliciano being the useless person he normally was had fallen asleep.

"I'll go see what's keeping them, shall I?" He asked cordially. They both nodded and he quickly left the table. He headed up stairs. He frowned, the shower was running... he tried the bathroom door, it was open.

They couldn't be...

He opened the door, his eyes burned for the second time that day.

"Oi! West!! Either get naked or get out!"

Ludwig slammed the door.

"Does no one in this house know how to use a lock?!?" He twitched.


Prussia had been kissing his way down the expanse of neck and shoulder in front of him while working the three and soon after four fingers into the small blond against the wall.

'Small, yea right' he thought as he pumped the dripping length in his hand a little faster and groaned in tandem with the other when it prompted the hand around his length to tighten as well. He'd been about to capture the mouth open, and inviting in front of him when the door swung open.

His brother had the worst timing.

When the stricter nation had left he huffed and glared at the now closed door.

Gilbert turned back to the small body pressed up against him, grumbling about stupid people that couldn't even tell what was going on in their own houses before stopping at the quiet laughter shaking the small form.

"Oh, so you think this is funny do you? Well then I guess I'm not distracting you enough."

He turned the other man towards the back wall of the shower and began preparing him again. Soon he had Matthew moaning and thrusting back in his fingers, clutching the hand bar to keep upright.

"Turn around." A whispered command in his ear, accompanied by a bite on his shoulder.


Meanwhile, while Ludwig tried to bleach his mind and come up with something convincing to tell his guests, Alfred and Arthur were having a rushed conversation.

"He knows!" Arthur whispered furiously as soon as Ludwig had disappeared upstairs.

"No way, there's no way he could know," Alfred said shaking his head quickly, "I mean... how could he know? And if he did know, why would he tell Matt?"

Arthur sighed, "You don't know Prussia like I do. He's completely incorrigible. You saw the way he was laughing. 'At least I don't SUCK?' he was obviously talking about US."

"No, no way," Alfred said again, "He couldn't. We haven't told anyone. No one knows!" Arthur sighed.

"True... maybe that bearded bastard smelt it on us and posted it on facebook or something... that's something he would do."

"We haven't seen Francis since we... you know," Alfred lowered his voice, "It's just a coincidence, he's just being stupid... maybe he's drunk, Germans like drinking don't they? My Germans like drinking. I have Oktoberfest, they drink, it's German, that must be the solution, Gilbert is a drunk with no taste in jokes."

"Then why was Matthew so upset?" Arthur asked, "It would scar his mind if he knew. His brother and his father figure. It's... it's... well it's."

"Gross, weird, kinda gay? Well... it would be if it didn't feel so good," Alfred agreed, "Look, let's just play it cool for now and act like we don't know what Gilbert was talking about. Ok?"

"Fine, I just hope you're right," Arthur sighed.


He moaned and turned in the other's arms.

"So, how would you like your five metres today?"

Matthew giggled around another moan. "Hot and hard, please. Extra creamy."

He laughed at the growl that gave him.

Baiting Gilbert turned out to be a good idea as it pushed the other nation to try to shut him up in the best ways possible.

Gilbert moved down his body kissing and more often biting at anything within his reach, looking for a reaction.

He got several. Matthew moaned when he thrust his tongue into his belly button. Hissed when teeth were grazed over his hipbone. And bucked up into air with a gasp as the inside of his thigh was sucked on and lapped at by a talented tongue.

Said talented tongue then wrapped around his length and was soon followed by an equally talented mouth that moved, scorching hot, over the tip and down his length as strong arms and hands came to brace his ass to keep him from falling off the thin handrail he was trying to perch on.

He was worked thoroughly and roughly over and over being brought almost to completion too many times and then quickly pulled away from the edge. Soon he was a complete quivering, moaning mass sprawled over large rough hands and a small metal bar.

Then Gilbert moved back up and planted a sloppy kiss on his open mouth and moved to position himself.

"Thank god, if you didn't do something to get us off soon I might just have left to finish myself off." Matthew growled at the other, not caring about being polite, just wanting the other so much it hurt.

"Just nnnh, just DO SOMETHING!"

Gilbert chuckled at the desperation in that voice and lined his length up with the small pucker he'd been teasing all this time and slowly pushed in, he gave a few shallow thrusts to get the other accustomed to the feeling.

When this went on for more than a minute Matthew snapped "Just do it already!" And squeezed the length in him harshly.

Gilbert gasped at the constricting feeling and pulled both legs over his arms to get better leverage for the harsher thrusts he began a moment later.

Gasps and moans filled the small room as they both moved swiftly forward to completion.

Matthew came first as he was still getting used to being a bottom in relationships. He tensed and came all over his stomach and Gilbert's.

The sudden change from movement to lack of movement from one of them was enough to throw off the rhythm enough that Gilbert lost his hold on Matthew and Matthew lost his balance on the bar and tumbled sideways onto the floor of the shower, Gilbert slipping out of him in the process.

"Are you alright?" Gilbert asked after he recovered from the loss of heat and pressure around him.

"Yea, just a little shaken up. I don't think we should try that again. Oh! And you haven't cum yet! Oh, dear."

He stared at Gilbert's swollen and leaking cock in sympathy.

"Well," Gilbert began, teasing. "You could always suck me off"

He chuckled to himself as he pictured the appalled look the other would be giving him and looked down. Instead of the shocked or disgusted look he was expecting to see he saw a thoughtful one.

"Yea, I could." Matthew decided.


Ludwig decided he should disown Gilbert. That would be the only logical thing to do. Disown, and sell him to Russia, even that wouldn't be enough penance for sticking him in such a situation.

"It's been an hour, surely they don't have that much to talk about," Arthur said, "And it's getting late."

"Yeah, I think I'll just go get him, they can talk tomorrow right?" Alfred said getting up.

"No!" Ludwig said. He had been trying to distract them by talking about a new book that neither of them had apparently read (Why would they? Alfred asked, it's in German) needless to say it wasn't really distracting them.

"You can't go up there... it's... it's a very private conversation!" Ludwig tried. Arthur and Alfred exchanged horrified looks.

"Then I should definitely go up there!" Alfred said leaping to his feet. Ludwig flew out of his chair and stationed himself in front of the stairway.

"I really must insist you give them privacy."

"Well I insist you let us through!" Alfred demanded. Arthur was looking more and more agitated.


"Mmm..." Feliciano wiped his eyes and lazily stretched. Ludwig was blocking the stairs, he wondered idly what was up the stairs that needed blocking? He got up and slipped underneath Germany's arm while Ludwig tried to pacify the other two nations.

Perhaps the bathroom? Feliciano peeked in.

Oh! Matthew was sure putting his lessons to good use!! But Matthew probably didn't want Arthur knowing, it might ruin his chances!


"What?! You want to? I thought it would be too much for you!" Gilbert exclaimed.

"Well, you did already make me cum and I don't wanna just leave you like that," he waved in the direction of Gilbert's throbbing manhood, it was purple with unfulfilled desire and twitching at the thought of what Matthew had proposed.

"So I guess I have to try this out. I've never done this before so tell me if you don't like anything I'm doing."

And with that said he moved one hand to the base of his cock and the other to his thigh as he placed his lips over the head which had begun to drip precum down the slick sides. He repositioned his hand to pull the cock down further so he could take more into his mouth.

He slid his lips slowly down the shaft and took all he could into his mouth, pumping with his other hand.

As he began moving he felt fingers in his hair grip his skull and move him faster and further down. He opened his throat more and started humming around the length.

He heard muffled curses from above him and a voice telling him he was about to come. Matthew gripped Gilbert's thighs and worked his tongue around and around before humming a high pitched note and was rewarded with hands gripping his head bruising hard and jamming all they could down his throat before coming hard right down his throat. He focused on breathing properly as Gilbert thrust slightly into his mouth as he rode his orgasm out before pulling out and collapsing onto his knees and the other body in front of him.

"Wow, you're really good at that." He panted.

"Thanks, first time." Matthew laughed lightly and hugged Gilbert. "Now we should probably be getting out of here, the water went cold I don't know when and everyone is probably wondering where we are."


Feliciano went downstairs humming, "Oh, you can't go up there!" He said. Arthur had one leg up as if he were about to kick the German while Alfred was trying to hold him back. The three were startled by his cheerful tone.

"Why in blazes not?!" Arthur seethed.

"Because Matthew's tired and has fallen asleep, Gilbert's looking after him. It would be very bad if you wake him if you're too loud," Feliciano explained.

Arthur looked carefully at the Italian as if trying to detect a lie. But then again, Italy was too naïve to make up a good lie anyway. Matthew was sick after all. He then glanced at Alfred, he'd rather look after the Canadian himself, but it really was too late to move him and Alfred would probably just disturb his brother. Yes, this would be better. He was just being paranoid, there was no way Prussia could know about himself and Alfred. Yes, he had just been silly. Matthew didn't know at all.

"Ah, I suppose we should go then," Arthur said. Alfred looked like he wanted to protest, but a kick to the shin silenced him.

"Please look after him and send him home straight away when he can move," Arthur requested, "Come on then," He said dragging Alfred away from the stairs.

"Goodnight then!" Feliciano waved gaily. The door closed. Ludwig stared at the Italian in astonishment.

"What is it Ludwig?"

"How did you do that? I've been trying to get them to leave for half an hour! You say two lines and they leave in minutes!"

"I told them the truth," Italy smiled, "Matthew's much too tired, and Gilbert IS looking after him."

Ludwig sighed then looked over at Italy, "And when are YOU going home?"

"Ahhh, well it's so late now, I was thinking of just staying here!" Feliciano smiled, "I can right? Right?"

Ludwig hung his head. When was it that he got wrapped around Feliciano's finger?

"I suppose."

"You changed the sheets right? We can share your bed, can't we?"

"I suppose..."

COMPLETION: 10:34 PM May 31 (ahh June's here already!)

SLIGHT EDITING COMPLEATION: 11:15 am June 1 (damn right it is)

Hawk Stout: heh heh so many innuendos so little time

Nisha: Am I still sweet?

Hawk: You'll always be my maple leaf (because rhyming is fun!)

Both: Yay, we're done!