Disclaimer: The characters in this story belong to Ann M. Martin, Scholastic Inc., and anyone else who wants to claim them. This story was inspiried by Tim McGraw's "Red Rag Top Girl," and is his and his songwriter's property. I just borrowed them. No money is being made off of this.
That was a summer I would never forget. She had just graduated from high school and we wanted one summer of fun, that's all. Just one summer of fun and not thinking of anything but the summer that stretched out before us. Her father had just bought her a sweet red convertible (making up for not being there, I'm sure. She was a little spoiled). In a town like Stoneybrook, there wasn't much to do, so we just ran wild. Out all night, in the moon light, not thinking of the consequences of our actions.
So I didn't. We made love in the moonlight for hours that night out by the ocean. Neither one of us cared about our actions, we were too caught up in the feelings that we had for one another. We thought that we were invincible. That nothing could hurt us, that everything we did would not come back to hurt us.
I remember when I got the phone call. It was early on a Saturday morning and she said she had something to tell me. I went over to house and her mother was standing at the door, looking happy to meet me. If she only knew.
"What are we going to do?" She asked me, her green eyes studying me intently.
"I don't have a clue. I can't support a baby, and you have your dreams. You're getting ready to start school in the fall…" I let my voice trail off, thinking of the possibilities. "And with your diabetes, is it even safe for you to have a child?"
"I could carry one to term, but honestly, I don't want this child. The baby just feels so wrong in so many ways. Maybe if I just had an abortion?"
"I don't know about this…."
"Please, Sam. Let me do this."
So she did. We went to New York City and she got rid of our child. On the way home, we swore to each other we would never regret what we did. She asked me to not stop loving her, and I swore I wouldn't. She swore she would never stop loving me. But what did we know? I was 20, she was 18. We were too young to know the ramifications of what we were doing. We thought we knew everything, but we knew nothing in the end.
That was over 10 years ago, the last time I saw her. We tried to stay together after everything that happened. We had one year while she was in school. We tried so hard to make it work. But there was too much regret between us, even though we both swore we would never regret what we did. The last year we were together, there were more fights, more secrets, more and more distant between us. I remember vividly the night we broke up.
"I guess this is the end," she said, her green eyes looking up at me intently.
"Yeah," I whispered, looking at a spot over her head.
"Think it would have been different…" she started to say, but I put my finger over her lips. "Let's not think about that."
"Promise you will always love me?"
She went on with her life, I made my mistakes still, but eventually got my life on track, went to law school and while I have had steady girlfriends, no one really in the 10 years since has ever caught my eye, made me want to settle down. I have no idea what happened to her, as my sister has lost touch with everyone except Mary Anne and Dawn.
I was coming home from work when I got stopped at a red light . I glanced over at the car next to me and noticed a young girl in a red rag top and her eyes were the most beautiful green. Suddenly, I was transported back to the summer she was 18 and consequences were just a dream. I thought back to how beautiful she was back then and how I wish I could see her one more time. How I wish I could hear her say she loved me. But we had our moment in the sun, but even though we promised we would live with no regrets, I was filled with just one: I wish things could have ended differently.