Disclaimer: I do not own skins, if I did then Freddie would be mine and we would find out what happens to the original gang after the 2nd series finale!

You are looking out the window.

You used to smile - it was contagious.

Not so much anymore.

With a sigh you move toward the bed again.

Everything has recently turned to shit,

and you wonder how it got this way.

Before Freddie, before Cook, hell even before JJ.

Before being mute, before the sex, before the drugs.

Before trying anything once – whatever it may be.

You fall on your bed, staring up at the egg white ceiling.

Against your better judgment you remember the cause for your vow of silence.

You got excited for parties, like normal teenage girls.

The anticipation causing more excitement than the actual event.

Before Freddie, before Cook, hell even before JJ.

Before being mute, before the sex, before the drugs.

Before trying anything once – whatever it may be.

The music pulsed through your veins,

Your hair created a halo around your face,

You were enticing – even back then.

It wasn't a curse yet, it was a blessing … your beauty.

It started with locked eyes and a smile from across the room.

It ended in a bloody mess, and fake foreign fondles,

With your naked figure in stranger's bed,

Alone, the morning after.

Before Freddie, before Cook, hell even before JJ.

Before being mute, before the sex, before the drugs.

Before trying anything once – whatever it may be.

You didn't speak, making it less complicated, less profound.

No one knows what happened that day, and

They will never know.

You will never speak.

Author's Note: This is my first fanfiction, so be critical but NICE please! This idea just popped into my head in the middle of lunch today, so I thought I'd write about it here, and I wanted to jot it down before I forgot. Just in case it is not clear, Effy gets raped in this which causes her to be promiscuous, not speak, be a misanthrope and pretty much be the way she is. This theory could definitely shed some light on her behavior, although I'd love to learn why she was actually mute in the first place... Thoughts? Comments? etc, are all welcome :]