A lot of people know Uzumaki Naruto. Some as a comrade, some as an implacable foe, others yet see him as nothing more then a friend. We sent out many letters, and got many responses. We here at Konoha Daily News have pruned down the pile to give you our readers the opinions of some of the Shinobi Worlds biggest movers and shakers as to their thoughts about Uzumaki Naruto.
Our first response is a short one, from a very surprising source. In fact we didn't expect to get an answer to our question from this particular person. Needless to say when a return letter from Uchiha Sasuke showed up at our steps we were very surprised! His message was very short and very terse; we've edited out the portion where he threatened us because our younger readers should not be exposed to such language.
Uchiha Sasuke writes "He stinks and I don't like him." Short and to the point, much as the man himself is.
The next letter comes from Suna's Kazekage Gaara of the Sand, who many also know as Gaara of the Funk, and Gaara of the Moose Knuckle, and also the owner and proprietor of Gaara's discount electronics emporium. He had many nice things to say. For the sake of not taking the whole publication over we have taken an excerpt that we feel properly conveys his thoughts.
"He's my main man; I'd sell him a car radio at only half price my friend. I remember one time we went out to the desert and punched a camel, than we ran away. It was wonderful. He always sends me the fizzy bubbly when he passes by. He is my number one friend, my friend."
A very stirring letter to say the least, our next response comes all the way from Kumogakure. From a very lovely Kunoichi named Samui. We can't actually print this letter as it involves a level of vulgarity hereto unseen in this world. Needless to say Mr. Uzumaki should be careful of 'hitting it and then quitting it' and furthermore that he needs to be the 'baby's daddy'. Strong allegations to be sure, the letter however ends on a much more positive note, saying only for him to 'do the right thing'.
Our last letter today comes from our very own Konohagakure. It comes from a very special Jonin. Often controversial yet always fresh Aoba, his letter was as short as Mr. Uchiha's yet much more confusing. When asked about Mr. Uzumaki he spoke thusly.
"He's just this guy, you know?"
Strong words even if they only make a sort of tangential sense. We showed Mr. Uzumaki the various letters, and asked him if he wanted to retort to some of his harsher critics. As to be expected he responded in typical fashion. In full we present you his response.
"They see me rollin. They hatin. Out there patrollin trying to catch me ridin dirty."
Indeed… That's all from today's issue of KDN, as always keep it classy Konoha.
A/N: Finally I got inspired to write something. I actually have another idea that is gnawing away so there should be another chapter soon. I also ask anyone who reads this to check out my other fic as well. I'd recommend It's Simple by Vlaigeant too... but then I don't know if you can review with a melted brain. Thanks for reading dawgs.