10 things we secretly all wanted to know.

Hey guys. Guess what! IT'S MY VERY FIRST UPLOAD : D

So, ehm, please don't be to harsh and stuff, since I have noooooo idea how it all works around here. Just figuring things out, I'll try n_n

Well, about this 'fanfic'. It really isn't something impressive, just something that came on my mind and I was like 'oh yay let's do that!' It are just a few questions I'd asked myself reading the books. I thought it was quite funny, being all sarcastic about it and all. Just read, if you feel like it, and you'd make me VERY VERY VEEERY happy if you reviewed it! Don't care what it's about, even one letter cheeres me up. Some tips would we useful, though ='D

I won't keep you off reading, now! Just being glad someone's reading this at all [:

Disclaimer: Wished I owned twilight, but unfortunaly, I don't. Stephanie Meyer made it all up, I just turned it into a weird something. Don't even know how to name it. :x

1) How and why the fxck did Bella brought het cactus-pet with her?

I seriously have no idea guys. I mean, those things are causing a lot of pain once stabbed, right? Wouldn't the Airport Security Guards ( or something xD ) know that those things are very, VERY dangerous? Especially with Bella, you know. In her case, she'll probably trip over something and smash the cactus in someone's face. Ouch. And even if she wasn't gravity's enemy, it still should be forbidden on airplanes, right? She might as well have suicidal feelings and murder some pilots with the damn thing. Causing a planecrash as well. Those stupid guards should have thought about that! If you nowadays can't even bring your own deodorant, for gods sake, than why the hell would they allow a cactus?! We don't want 9/11 to happen again, don't we? No offence to Bella, by the way. A pet cactus is quite cool, actually :3

2) Why didn't Carlisle become a history teacher?

I liked this question. I mean, it makes sense, you know. Being like, hundreds of years old and with a memory most people would die for ( ha ha ha 8D ) it's kinda obvious he's perfect for that job. Who couldn't tell better about WO I than someone who was actually THERE? Don't understand me wrong, I respect Carlisle for what he's doing at the hospital, but some change might be good. Or at least get one of his kids to study historics? I have to say I don't mind having Edward as a teacher, ghehehe…

3) If vampires can smell someone's blood from quite a distance, than they should be able to smell someone fart, right?

Yep. Guess it must be quite embarrassing for Bella, though. Poor girl. Must be going through some awkward situations when around Edward. Not that I mind trading places with her *evil grin*

4) Something else about the smelling. What about Bella having her 'periods'?

Yeah, I just thought about that, and discovered it made no sense at all. When bleeding 'normally', every vampire in a ten miles radium will be attracted by it. But when having a period, no-one seems to care. WTF!

5) Do the Cullens have to do the laundry?

Think about it! They just can't get dirty, can they? They're just way too perfect too let themselves fall in the mud or something. And I can't imagine them spilling morning coffee over their shirts, or make some stains in any other way. Just not happening! So that started me wondering about the subject. I know they take showers and stuff, but that's just natural. And I can imagine they want to stay fresh if they have to live 300 years or so. But dude, their clothes are only wore once, thanks to Alice. Is Esme actually going to wash the bunch of clothes if they probably won't even wear it again? And besides, they're probably a bit terrified about Esme too, not wanting to make her angry by making their clothes look dirty. So they keep themselves clean, and at the end of the day, the clothes go straight into the closet for another decade. Does anyone think they give their clothes to the poor, by the way? That would definitely be nice of them. And if not, I'd be happy to take over some of Alice's [:

6) Did the Cullens invented the emo-look?

DUH. Why didn't anyone thought about that?! LOOK AT THEM. They're pale all the time, moving a lot (causing some melodramatic trauma's to cry about) and if they got bitten by vampires, that obviously leaves a mark. Easily to be misunderstood as scars. Could they be trying to hide them by wearing the so-called 'Cullen Crest'? Also, most of the time they're not trying to blend in with other people, making them look like lonely freaks or something. And we all know Alice. Being the little fashionista she is, she probably dyed her hair once or twice. Maybe even black, with some colored strokes? You have to admit, it could be Alice. So what if someone saw them, a century or so before, and thought by himself; 'Golly, that kinda looks sort of cool!' Cause it's not hard to imagine some kids try to be like the Cullens, (Remember Mike Newton, trying to cope Edward's haircut?) . So what I'm trying to say is that there's a pretty big chance the Cullens started the whole emo-thing. Some kids picked it up, and a new culture was born. And before you laugh your ass off at my weird theory, IT SEEMS LOGICAL IN SOME WAY.

7) What the heck is going to happen if Renesmee and Jacob are going to get kids together?!

Well, that's kinda difficult to imagine. I already thought it was kind of sick of Jacob to imprint on her in the first place. Come on, she's two months old and Bella's child. He's a total perv! At least she grows, so it will be less awkward later, I guess. But still, I'm not a fan of that couple. Anyways, with Renesmee being half-human and half-vampire and Jacob being the cute-but-huge werewolf he is, what will happen to their kid? And just so you know, I think Renesmee is going to be able to have kids, thanks to her human-side. I'm anxious to find out what's it gonna be. Boy/girl, Human/vampire/werewolf, or all three at the same time? Must be fun. Being supernatural like vampires, having the experiences of a human and when the kid gets angry it changes into some huge, furry something. Poor parents, ghehe. But, on the other hand, he or she will just end up like a freak covered with hair and fangs, sparkling like someone pulled a panty over it's head. (At least, that's what it looked like in the movie). Than again, Renesmee is a real cutie and Jacob isn't that bad either. So the kid might as well be stunning. Or dazzling, as Bella would say. Wait, speaking about Bella, she will be the kid's grandma. What the hell?! The kid's growing up with it's grandma, both never aging. Does this mean you can create a coven of hundreds of vampires, all from the same bloodline? Imagine what it's like to actually be able to live with your great great grandchild! Both the same age! Waah!

Oke oke, back to the original subject. What I think, is that it's going to be a lovely child, knowing Stephanie Meyer's love for dazzling creatures. I want it to be a boy, though. Secretly I just hope he kick's Emmet's ass at playing videogames, mwuhahah! Well, enough teasing. Let's say it's just going to be a stubborn teenager, looking terribly stunning and being a bit too furry. Good luck with that.

8) Does Edward excist?

Well, I wouldn't count on that one. Though I do believe there's a Cullen in all of us. Every boy can be a bit of an Edward, as long as you can discover which part it is (:

Even if it's just the cars that match (Silver Volvo, don't forget!) or he's a bit pale too. You never know what to find if you look deep enough. Same goes for us girls. We can be a Rosalie or an Alice! Just don't put too much hope in the Rosalie-part, boys. Girls with an interest in cars aren't really THAT common. Sorry to disappoint you. But I think we can be the bitchy blonde, or the energetic pixie as well. Every girl with a sense of fashion feels like Alice, once in a wile. Just saying we all have that part. Be aware of it, enjoy it or share it, I don't care. As long as you feel as special as a Cullen.

Djeez, never expected THAT to be written. I'm feeling like a 30 years old pep-coach right know. You better feel grateful for that little peptalk, or I'll hunt you down for laughing at me! Rawrrr!

9) Do the Cullens vote?

I don't think so. They've lived in the U.S. for some decades and don't even have proper ID's. They can go where they want and even live in complete wilderness. Do you really think they give a damn about who runs the place? Nope. Maybe they'd give it a bit of attention if Obama made laws who forced everyone to hunt magical creatures, which I highly doubt. Alice foresees who'll be the next president anyway, so what's the need of voting? 7 missing vote's won't make a difference. Unless Emmett wants to feel important or something, but otherwise I don't think they'll vote. End of story. (:

10) Can they get different haircuts?

This is something I'm really not sure about. With the Cullens being non-aging vampire's and stuff, it's kind of hard to guess. But, creative as I am, I made up my very own theory about that 8D

As we all know, the vampires don't age. Meaning they don't get older, or even change. But that's the whole point. They. Don't. change.

When they don't change, their body stays the same (duh). So, when you think about it, you'll find out their hair doesn't grow either, then.


Their hair can't grow. Positive for those who need to shave themselves. Negative for those who want their hair to be a bit longer. If Emmet, for example, cuts Edwards hair as some sort of sick joke, I can imagine Edward wants his hair back. But he can't, unless he's getting himself a wig. And I can't picture him with extensions either, so.. [:


Guess they're lucky to have another 500 years to get used to it. :l

So, what u think? please, PLEASE review! One single word makes my day (:

By the way, if someone thinks I'm being all racist about the emo-thing for example, than I'd like to say I just made everything up! If i've hurt anyone's feelings with this, then I'm VERY VERY SORRY and please let me know! I didn't mean anything by it, just for fun.