Easy Job

AN: I own nothing in this story. This is for Speedy Speck so enjoy! OOC present in one character purely for comedic purposes. Please R&R.

Yuffie eyed her prey as he walked down the street, the ninja taking in everything about him from the tips of his red hair to the ends of his shoelaces. And even though her target was a Turk, he was no match for her ninja skills.

At least that's what she said to herself.

Finally Reno presented an opening and Yuffie sped towards him, hands in his pocket and out before a person could blink. But she was surprised when her fingers came away with empty space. A hand suddenly grabbed her wrist and Yuffie saw Reno smirking at her.

"Careful with the goods now princess," Reno said, mischief dripping from his lips. Yuffie made a disgusted face and stuck out her tongue.

"You should try thinking with your brain sometime Turkey, I'm after your Materia not your most likely diseased privates!" But Reno didn't look upset from her taunt, instead staring at her with that smug grin on his face.

"I don't have any Materia you know."

"Bull! I know you do and I know that you know that I know that you know you have some," Yuffie shot back, nodding her head at her logic. "And I'm not going to rest until I get some Materia. So until then I'll be your shadow, got it?" She had looked away, dramatically posing here and there throughout her speech and finishing with arm outstretched towards her target. But he was gone.

Looking around, she spotted him walking away at an even pace. Clenching her fists together, the young woman gave chase.


Since Reno had the day off he decided to go see a movie. Flashing a charming grin to the female ticket counter, he paid for his ticket and was directed to his theater. After grabbing some popcorn and a soda, he went in the darkened theater and waited for it to start.

Yuffie had seen what movie Reno was going to go see. It was Star Trek and Yuffie knew she wouldn't be able to go in there looking like she normally did. Thinking quickly, she rushed towards the restroom and ten minutes later emerged dressed like a Klingon, furrowed forehead and all. Purchasing a ticket, she went to the theater Reno was in and sat five seats away, certain she could sneak towards him and grab the Materia while he was fascinated by the movie. But her plans were interrupted by a rather portly looking teenager moving past her, his Romulan costume so well made you'd think he had stolen it from the movie set. Sitting his wide behind beside Yuffie, he grinned at her.

"Triship Nar, lungo?" Yuffie's eyes widened at the alien tongue. "Oh, I'm sorry. That costume's so good I assumed you spoke Klingon. So, this movie's gonna rock! I mean young Kirk, Spock, and Bones?! Don't you think so?"

"Um...sure...listen see that guy to our right? I need to get over to him and I- but she was cut off by the lights dimming and the previews started.

The Trekkie next to the young ninja made it impossible for her to get to Reno and so she had to endure his laughter, his whispered technobabble, and his hushed breath as the film ended before she was free from this torture. Watching her get up, he reached out a hand and grabbed her arm.

"Wait a sec, would you like to cosplay with me at the anime convention next week? You'd be a perfect Rikku to my Auron." Yuffie broke free a second later, running away as fast as she could.

Her target had left as the movie had ended and she didn't want to miss him.

The Trekkie gave a sad sigh as he watched the Klingon girl leave. But before he got out of his chair he felt a hand on his shoulder. Looking up, he saw a woman with long black hair and warm brown eyes. She was dressed as a Vulcan.

"Did you say you're going to the con next week? I'd love to go with you! See, none of my friends like anime like I do so I don't have anyone to go with. What do you say?"

The young man nodded and held out a hand, grasping her own.

"Sure! My name's Edward. Shar nu?" The young woman smiled as she was asked for her name in Klingon.

"Tifa, Shar nu Tifa."


The movie had been a pleasant diversion for Reno. But he needed to get some exercise in so he decided to head to the rec center. Luckily it wasn't very far away from the theater. Once he was in the locker room, he deposited his clothes in one of the lockers and changed into some black swim trunks. Stepping out into the main pool area, he heard the shrieks of little kids and splashing.

Getting into one of the lanes, he started swimming, basking in the cool water on his skin.

Yuffie, having ditched her Klingon get up, had managed to track Reno to the rec center. The ninja was currently watching her prey from the ingenious cover of the kiddie pool. She had chosen a hot pink one piece to wear.

She was convinced she'd be able to sneak up on him and get the Turk to tell her where his Materia was hidden. Either that or she'd go through his clothes while he was having fun in the pool. She was about to enter the main pool, snatching a blue foam colored noodle that was floating on the water nearby, when she heard a child start crying a few feet away from her.

"That meanie took my floaty!" A shadow soon loomed over Yuffie and the ninja looked up. A teenage girl stood with her hands on her hips, glaring down at the Materia hunter. She looked about thirteen.

"Give that back to my little sister or else they'll be trouble, understand?" Yuffie got to her feet then and glared right back at the kid. Unfortunately for the ninja, she was shorter than the teen and didn't even come up to her chin.

"I'll give it back when I'm done using it. I didn't even see your sister playing with it so just wait a bit, alright?"

A fist flying towards her face was the response she got. Dodging gracefully, Yuffie decided to run away. But as she moved to do so she tripped over her own foot, arms cartwheeling as she started to fall backwards into the kiddy pool. The teen punched her in the gut then, knocking the air out of Yuffie's slim frame.

As she lost consciousness, she heard the little girl's cry of delight as her big sister handed her the toy back.


"...ie."

"Yuffie..."

The Avalanche member's eyes opened slowly, finding Reno staring down at her. She blinked quickly and sat up, wincing a little.

"That kid really took it out of you huh?" Reno asked, a smirk upturning his lips.

"Shut up Turkey! I've had a horrible day and it's all your fault. All I wanted was to get some Materia from you and instead I got hit on by a nerd, dressed up as an alien, and knocked out by a teenage freak of nature!"

"Well if you weren't so stubborn about Materia those events wouldn't have happened," Reno replied. Yuffie stood up then and grabbed him by the shoulders, shaking him roughly.

"Don't give me that again. I know you have some now hand it over!" Reno held up his hands in supplication and sighed.

"Alright, I guess I'm no match for the Great Ninja Yuffie. I have to get changed first and once I'm done I'll get you some Materia alright?" Yuffie nodded and let him go. The Turk then left to get dressed and went out into the lobby, where Yuffie was waiting.

"Took you long enough," the ninja muttered. Her speed was almost cartoonish when Materia was involved, the Turk thought to himself. But Yuffie's scowl turned into wide eyed joy when she saw the mastered Cure Materia in his left hand. If she was a dog, she'd be wagging her tail right about now.

"Before I give this to you there's a condition you have to meet," Reno said.

"Whatever it is I'll do it," Yuffie said quickly.

"Alright, you asked for it. Next week you have to come with me on a date." Yuffie nodded and grabbed the Materia, hugging the orb to her body like a mother cradling her child. After this had gone on for several moments, Yuffie pocketed her treasure and hugged Reno tightly.

"You know, you're not so bad after all Reno," the ninja said softly. Reno chuckled at that and broke apart from her.

"Well thanks princess. Don't forget about our date, alright?" Yuffie nodded and left, her stomach reminding her of the breakfast and lunch she had skipped on her quest for Materia.

And as she bounced away, she was completely unaware of the Kick Me sign plastered to her back. Reno laughed as he watched her leave and shook his head.

"I've still got it," he said aloud.

But as he turned around, he failed to notice the I'm A Stupid Turkey sign taped to his own back.