This little fic is for Wolves&Vamps who honored me by spending her hard earned cash for the Support Stacie Auction on me and my writing skilz. She gave me a prompt which i immediately changed. This is a story in 3 parts...i will update again in a couple of days. I hope you enjoy.

The guilty one is not he who commits the sin, but he one who causes the darkness. ~Victor Hugo


Curled in my chair, the big squishy one by the fireplace, I flipped through the pages of my latest manuscript. This one was under the penname Carlie Phoenix and was part of a series about a serial killer in the early twentieth-century Chicago. The books were best sellers, historically accurate, but dark enough to appeal to a broad readership. I had planned to send the draft to my editor in the morning, so I picked up my pen, and I made some revisions.

I glanced across the room at my muse, in a matching chair of his own, nose deep in a medical journal; handsome, young and eternally mine.

He caught me staring and lifted his rich amber eyes for a moment and smiled briefly before glancing back at the page in front of him.

We were comfortable in this home, deep in the forests of Montana. We both had to drive large trucks to get in and out of the property to manage the terrain, but the scenery and privacy were worth it.

Edward was a physician in the nearest town, blessing the happy citizens with the most well trained doctor they would ever encounter. After so many years, and the realization that if he could resist my blood he could resist anyone's, Edward followed Carlisle's footsteps and began practicing. While he worked at the clinic in town, I stayed home, maintaining the house and fulfilling my dream as a writer.

We were happy.

Edward and I were living the life of a fairy tale. The early days of our romance were filled with trials that only made us stronger. We battled werewolves and vampires. We fought one another. In the end, our love was one of fate and destiny. Two mismatched souls, fitting together perfectly like a puzzle. One had no function without the other. Some would call our behavior from that time selfish, dramatic and sinful. I begged Edward to take my life, to let me join him for eternity, and he pleaded with me to appreciate my humanity, respect a value system, and be happy with what I had.

After reaching a series of compromises, we married at eighteen, in front of our friends and family. I had the reserved blessing of my family; after all, who were they to lecture about marrying young? And, his family was ecstatic, eagerly waiting for me to 'join' them when the time was right. A vampire/human relationship was unprecedented as far as we knew, but we were prepared for the risks. Our love was never going to die, even though death was necessary for that to happen.

After our wedding, burning with desire and passion, Edward and I traveled to a remote island, owned by the Cullens, for our honeymoon, and discovered more intimate sides of one another. We spent days on the beach, basking openly in the sun while Edward glittered like a diamond, and I turned red like a lobster. In the solitude of the island, we couldn't keep our hands to ourselves. Our bodies were in a constant frenzy of touching or groping, and I took to the habit of straddling him on the sand, pressing the warmth of my body against his cool flesh. I found I couldn't get enough of him, and at times it felt like he wanted to consume me, just not the way we were accustomed. At night, we would lie in the enormous bed and make love, his body fitting to mine like perfection. He was gentle and soft, my safety his main priority. I didn't care; every moment he was inside me I craved for more, like a thirst I couldn't quench. My tongue would seek his skin, licking and sucking, trying to taste him.

I was ravenous for my husband.

One morning we were lying in bed, the thick white covers bunched around, as a soft breeze ruffled the mosquito nets surrounding us. I was tired, my eyes barely able to stay open, and I happily laid on my pillow, dozing, while Edward's hands documented my body, looking for anything he may have missed in his previous explorations. In my haze, I felt his smooth palm ghost over my breast, causing me to smile before it settled flatly just above, resting on my heart. Lazily taking a peek in his direction, I noticed a look of serious concentration on his face. His eyes met mine, and they narrowed as he scrutinized my face.

"Edward, what's wrong?"

Sitting upright, he pulled me with him, forcing me awake. Concern filled his eyes as his fingers began checking my eyes like an optometrist.

"What are you doing?" I said, swatting his hands away. He was freaking me out.

His expression was odd and confused, but he finally spoke, "Your heartbeat. It's slower than normal. The normal rhythm it maintains is…off. And your eyes…" he trailed off, peering into my eyes. "The color is different…"

Confused by his words, but too tired to remain sitting, I flopped back on the pillow, sleep overtaking me. Struggling to speak, I mumbled, "I'm so tired…and my throat, it hurts…"

The last thing I felt were Edward's hands shaking my shoulders and calling my name, but it was too late, I was slipping, deep, into another place.


I dreamt I was a circus performer. My trick was to take a stick, the end blazing with fire, and slowly push it down my throat. 'Bella the Fire Eating Lady.' I wore an outfit made of red satin that pushed my boobs up to my chin and had a very short skirt covered with crimson sequins. I had performed the trick many times before, but this time, after I swallowed the fire, my throat began to burn furiously. Extracting the baton, I ran around shouting for water, begging anyone I could for help.

First, I ran to Emmett, the strong man, who laughed, flexing his muscles and told me to stop being ridiculous, that water wouldn't help. He picked up a Rosalie, dressed as an acrobat, flipped her over his shoulder, and walked away mocking my thirst.

Next, I spotted Alice who had on a long skirt and whose head was wrapped in a scarf. Hoops dangled from her ears, and she held up a crystal ball. "There's no water in your future, my dear." She cackled. "Although, I do see a makeover of sorts…remember, blue is your color…" she said before disappearing into thin air.

Grasping my throat, I spun to find Carlisle dressed as a ring master standing behind me. He wore black boots to his knees, a red jacket, and a shiny black top hat. "Bella," he said. "As your doctor, I must tell you that the burning will end. It's almost over." Before I could question any further, he skipped off under the big top to start the show.

Swallowing was painful, intense, and I was close to passing out from the sheer ache when I heard a low hiss from around the side of the tent. Desperately thinking there were animal cages on the other side, I began running, tripping over a rope, and landing not on the ground but in the arms of my savior, Edward.

"Edward," I rasped. "My throat, it burns…" I cried and buried my face in his chest. "Please help me…I need water."

"Shhh…" he cooed and smoothed out my hair. "Water won't help. But I know what can."

I nodded, relieved that as usual my guardian angel was here to protect me. To take care of me. "Anything, please just hurry. I can barely manage the pain," I sobbed.

Edward's hands cupped my face and he told me, "I need you to do what I say, okay? No arguments. It's the only way to make the burning stop."

"I will. Anything," I croaked, wincing at the irritation.

Edward reached a long finger to his neck and slowly cut across it with his sharp nail, a thin line of blood appearing, dripping slowly down his neck. Instead of repulsion, my thirst increased, and I realized at that moment the only thing that would quench it and stop the pain was his blood.

I leapt towards him, mouth open, and tongue latching onto his skin. I sucked and bit, pushing his body so forcefully he fell to the ground, but he never fought back, allowing me to take him as he knew I would do for him.

In a daze of bloodlust, I heard a voice, Edward's, calling my name. "Bella…Bella…I need you to wake up…" I heard him say in his soft voice. But, I didn't want to wake. I needed more blood, more, as I was still thirsty, my thirst barely satiated.

"Bella. Wake up." I heard him say louder. I forced my eyes open, leaving the circus behind and finding myself in the island cottage, warm wind blowing through the open windows. Squinting, I was overwhelmed by the glare when I saw him, surrounded by a halo of light, hovering over me.

"My angel." I sighed and reached my hand up to caress his face, surprisingly finding his face warm, no longer cold under my touch. "What's wrong with me?" I asked, concerned by the look in his eyes.

"Nothing. It's just…" and before he finished he bent over and kissed me so softly on the lips. But, soft wasn't what raced through my body. Sitting up, I pulled him to me, kissing and licking and to my astonishment, he pushed me back with force, opening his mouth and letting my tongue inside to run across his teeth. My body buzzed with energy, all of my sensations heightened, and power coursed through my veins. I knew at that moment everything had changed.

I had changed.

I wasn't sure how it happened, but it definitely had. "I thought kissing you before was heaven. I had no idea," I admitted and licked my lips for his taste.

"I'm sorry, Bella. I didn't know it could happen this way." He breathed into my mouth, not seeming very sorry at all. Lifting me, so I wrapped my legs around his waist he carried me outside.

"What way?" I asked, my eyes scanning his neck for the tear in his skin from my dream. I wanted him to bleed, so I could taste him.

"Your transformation occurred from the times we made love." His eyes were cast down, shame filled his beautiful face. "My venom infected you. I can't believe my recklessness."

I nuzzled my face in his neck, inhaling his unique scent. "Never apologize. It's our destiny." Edward dropped my feet onto the hot sand, and I lifted my arms allowing the sunlight to glimmer across my flesh. I felt the enormous grin spread across my face and ignored the look of trepidation in Edward's eye.

My legs felt strong, I had balance and control, and it was like pulling on the perfect pair of jeans. I'd slid into the body of a champion, and I was ecstatic.

Reaching for Edward's hand, feeling the amplified glory of his skin next to mine, I smiled and gave him a kiss. "Now," I said, looking in his eyes, black from hunger, "teach me everything I need to know."

And, he did.

Over the next several years, he taught me to hunt and to abstain from my basic desires. He taught me how to push my body to the limit: running, climbing and using my strength as an asset. He showed me what to do with the extra hours one has if you never sleep, and together we learned how to love like a married couple who had forever.

Once I had control over my feeding habits, we slowly ventured into society. Taking classes, traveling, spending time alone or with the family. Life developed a pattern, a rhythm that we fell into with ease. After some time, Edward decided to pursue an actual career in medicine, and I wrote and wrote and wrote, building an empire in literature.

We were happy.

Degrees acquired, certifications met, and careers in focus, we left the family with hugs and tearless goodbyes. Our belongings packed in a huge truck, we traveled through the small towns of America finally moving into this old, rustic farmhouse to begin the next phase of our life. Edward went to work, and at night we painted and sanded, renovating the house to a level of perfection even Esme would envy.

Our house was white and gleaming on the outside with black, glossy shutters and comfortable rockers spread across the wide front porch. Inside, we had a top of the line kitchen we never used, and four fully-outfitted bedrooms that never saw a sleeping visitor. Our room was spacious and comfortable, filled with the warm browns and greens of the place we met. It was our nest.

We were happy.

Sitting now in the living room, listening to the crackling fire in the mammoth stone fireplace, I thought about our journey and how we reached this place. "What are you thinking about?" I heard from across the room and saw Edward, who, after all these years, still couldn't read my mind, looking quizzically at me.

My thoughts returned to the present and I admitted, "You and me, and our honeymoon. How it all happened and now, our life together."

Age old pain flittered across his face, and I felt a surge of sympathy for my caring husband. He never wanted to cause me pain, and the outcome of our honeymoon remained a sore spot between us.

"Edward, stop it. You know it was for the best."

"I took away your choice. I only wanted that."

"I made my choice that day in the meadow when I chose you over everything else. And, on that day in Volterra on the Plaza. And, after the fight with Victoria; not to mention our wedding. Edward, I chose you every one of those times. I sacrificed it all from the beginning because I loved you. Don't tell me I didn't have a choice."

Separated by our chairs and a soft braided rug, my sweet husband nodded, pretending to accept my words for the millionth time before we returned our focus to the projects in our laps and the constant routine of our lives. We pretended that everything was fine. That the guilt Edward felt from our beginning, my beginning, hadn't affected every aspect of our lives.

We pretended because that is what married couples do when everything else is right and one thing is wrong.

A/N -please note that i could never have written any of this fic without OCD. she LITERALLY held my virtual hand while i wrote this. I also would like to thank Bethaboo for giving me the idea that made this story not fizzle out into nothingness. She has an awesome contribution to the Auction called "Putting Lessons:Growing Pains" It is really good and i suggest you give it a try... Also a thanks to Wolves&Vamps for pushing me outside my comfort zone. I am aware this is much shorter than my normal work but this is how it had to come together. I'm very eager to hear what you think so please drop me a review!