"NO!" A black haired boy shouted as he sat upright in his bed.

Panting, the boy wiped away the sweat from his head and looked around. Where the bloody hell am I? He thought. This doesn't look anything like my bedroom... Groaning, he laid back down when the door opened. Glancing up, he saw a pudgy old man glaring at him.

"Severus get your lazy ass out of bed and make breakfast!" The man said angrily.

"Make your own breakfast," He said grumbling.

"What was that boy?!"

Severus cringed and quickly got up and went out realizing that it wouldn't be wise to go against the man. Going into the kitchen, he looked through the pantry. Okay I'll make the fat man his breakfast, Severus thought. Then I'll figure out where I am..."

It only took him thirty minutes to make breakfast, but it took him twelve minutes to stare at his plate wondering where he was and why he was short, wand less, had a squeaky voice, and was with a fat man and his equally fat son as well as his bean stalk of a wife.

"Mother there is only thirty seven gifts," The fat son said pouting looking like he was at the verge of throwing a tantrum.

"How about we go buy you two extra gifts sweetie?" The bean stalk woman asked. "Two gifts?"

"That'll make it.....thirty.....thirty..."

"Thirty nine sweetie."

"Hm....Thirty Nine.....good enough."

The bean stalk sighed in relief then smiled.

"So now for your birthday sweetie we're going to take you to the zoo!" She said happily. "And you can pick one of you little friends to come with you."

"Now to find Severus a babysitter," The fat man said.

BABYSITTER?! I AM THIRTY FIVE YEARS OLD! I AM NOT A CHILD! Severus thought narrowing his eyes.

"But Mrs. Figg's broke her leg she can't watch the brat," The woman said. "And there is no one else to watch him....perhaps we could bring him with us and leave him in the car."

"The car is brand new I am not leaving him in there!" The man shouted.

Severus sunk in his seat. He felt like crap. They were talking about him as if he wasn't there! That's when he remembered something. I heard Potter tell his trouble making friends before that he was treated like he wasn't there with his aunt and uncle....Severus thought and sat up a bit. I believe he called them Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia....they had a spoiled son name Dudley...

"I DON'T WANT HIM TO COME WITH US!" Dudley 'cried' which brought Severus back to reality. "HE'LL RUIN IT! HE RUINS EVERYTHING!"

Looking at Dudley, he watched Petunia comfort her son when he noticed that he wasn't really crying. The fatter boy's face was just scrunched up and turning redder from his screaming. Staring at him, Severus narrowed his eyes seeing that Dudley was giving him a nasty glare. Before he could say something, there was a knock on the door.

"That should be Dudley's little friend!" Petunia said then walked towards the door.

Dudley stopped crying and looked angry instantly as his friend came into the room. Saying nothing, Severus looked at Dudley's friend. The boy reminded him of a skinnier Peter but had the same rat like face. Staring at him, he then looked up at Vernon who was giving him a glare. Vernon grabbed his arm and yanked him to the living room. Pushing him to a corner her glared at Severus.

"Look boy," He growled. "I'm warning you if you do anything funny I'll keep you in the cupboard until Christmas!"

"I won't," Severus said angrily.

"Don't take that tone with me boy!"

Vernon slapped him across the face then brought Severus out of the room. This is going to be hell Severus thought. I don't know how.....but....I switched places with POTTER!

***

Severus sat there in the back of the car staring at the ground. He was still trying contemplating the fact he had switch lives with Potter. This meant he was now the 'boy who lived' and was living with the worst people ever.

"UGH! Hoodlums!" Vernon said. "Riding those motorcycles disgrace!"

"I had a dream about a motorcycle last night," Severus muttered recalling that other than the blinding green light he felt himself riding one. "It was flying."

The car almost crashed into the one in front of them.

"MOTOCYCLES DON'T FLY!" Vernon shouted angrily.

"I know," Severus said. "It was just a dream..."

Dudley and Pier started snickering at Severus who scowled a bit.

"What a freak," Pier whispered.

"Just as freaky as that stupid scar of his," Dudley said.

Scar? Oh am I now honored to have the scar that the dark lord gave Harry Potter the boy who actually lived? Severus thought then rubbed his forehead and grumbled. Oh joy. I have a freaky scar I am SO happy. Soon the car stopped and everyone got out. They were at the zoo finally and Vernon had kept him by his side as if hoping that the boy wouldn't be noticed. Severus smiled slightly actually having fun. Though Dudley and his stupid friend did punch him now and then, he actually had fun watching the animals. Also he got very lucky as a smiling lady in a van asked him what ice cream he wanted before Petunia and Vernon could push him away. So what if it was a cheap lemon ice pop? At least he got some kind of ice cream.

"Hm...look at that," Severus whispered as he licked his ice pop staring at a gorilla. "It's Dudley's twin brother...."

Making sure that Dudley, Pier, Petunia, or Vernon could hear he looked back at the gorilla.

"You're the better looking one," He said. "You have a neck at least."

After a minute or two, they went to go eat...well.....The Dursley's and Pier did he just sat there. Dudley was upset that he didn't have enough ice cream (though Severus thought he had too much ice cream) and got more. Vernon however "accidentally" bumped into Severus making him drop his ice pop and wasn't allowed to get another one. Grumbling as he walked towards the snake room with the rest, he watched Dudley and Pier complain about how the snake wouldn't do much. Once they walked towards another snake, he walked towards the snake himself. Looking up at it he swore it winked at him.

"I get that all the time," The snake said.

"They are annoying aren't they?" Severus whispered shocked the snake was speaking. "So where are you from?"

The snake pointed to the sign near the cage and Severus just stared at it. 'Brazil Snake, zoo born'.

"So you've never seen Brazil?" Severus asked.

"Never...," The snake hissed.

"MR AND MRS. DURSLEY! DUDLEY! LOOK AT THE SNAKE!" Pier shouted.

Soon Pier and Dudley ran towards the snake pushing Severus down. Groaning when his back touched the hard ground, he looked up to see that the glass from the snake's area disappeared. The snake slithered out of the cage and winked at Severus.

"Thanks little buddy," The snake said then left.

A while later everyone was back in the car. Dudley and Pier were telling the story about how they were almost eaten alive by the snake that escaped. Severus did his best not to laugh at their story since the snake didn't even touch them.

"And freaky Sevy was talking to it!" Pier said.

There was silence.

"When we get home you go straight to your cupboard....stay there....no dinner," Vernon said.

(Well how is it? I was just dying to write a story about how Severus was the boy who lived instead of Harry. It's fun....lol cool...NOW QUICK THING! I DO NOT OWN SNAPEY OR ANYONE HERE!)