By Snare-chan

Pairings: Sam/Mikaela, if anything?
Ratings: T
Category(ies): Humor
Warning(s): Cussing
Status: One-shot, complete
Summary: A naming contest.

Notes: Done entirely for fun at Anx's (apocalyptic over on livejournal) request, after I mentioned a certain word that my Microsoft Word came up with.

Disclaimer: I don't own Transformers; wish I did like everybody else. They should put TF in stock, then I'd buy it all!


Glen, the one to make the sudden suggestion, looked proud of his unique word. His head was tilted up towards the lights and he had a can of Coca-Cola in one hand, resembling a philosophical man that had just enlightened the world. No one looked as impressed as him, however, Maggie in particular looking pained at her friend's word.

"How did you come up with that one?" she asked, hoping for an explanation that would make sense.

"It's Decepticon and jerk put together! De-cerk! There's a nice ring to it; it's a good sci-fi name."

"Well, we'll leave it in the suggestion box," Sam said next, making a show of pretending to write it down and tossing it into such a thing. "What other ones can you guys come up with?"

Mikaela hemmed and hawed for a moment, biting her lip in such a way that Sam almost became distracted by it, before brightening as an idea struck her.

"Oh! What about Decepticreeps?"

Everyone shook their heads and she huffed slightly, asking, "What's wrong with that one? Decepticons are creeps. And at least it's shorter than 'devils on wheels.'"

"Hey, you said you liked that one," Sam interjected, looking a bit crestfallen at the declaration, to which his girlfriend quickly gave him a caring pat on the knee.

"I do like it. Mine's just better," she clarified, smiling, and Sam dropped the subject after that.

Noise from nearby alerted the group to some newcomers as Will and Epps appeared beyond a hanger door that opened. They had been discussing some tactical matters with the Autobots, and apparently the meeting was over, because Bumblebee was returning with them.

"Yo!" Glen greeted, lifting his open pop can and indicating some of the untouched ones with his free hand, wondering if they wanted to join them. When all three of them meandered over, they all exchanged greetings, Epps taking a large sip of his in particular before saying hi.

"What's up you guys? I'd have thought a couple of you would have left by now. It's getting late, you know?"

"Was just waiting for the meeting to be over, and in the meantime we were just passing the time."

"Oh yeah?" Epps asked, looking towards Maggie, who had been the one to address him. "How's that?"

"By making up names to insult the Decepticons. It's been entertaining…for the most part."

The soldiers looked somewhat interested, with Bumblebee making up for them and looking the most intrigued. He'd transformed and hunkered down near Sam and Mikaela in a hunched position. When no one prompted further discussion, the Autobot made an electronic sound of interest.

"And what has been the general consensus?" he inquired.

"Um, well…I guess Decepticreep?"

Glen grunted, "And De-cerk!"

"Man, that is some weak sauce," Epps acknowledged. "Can't you kids come up with anything better than that? I might be in the air force, but I know I didn't learn all my colorful language from there."

"If you can do better, than you give it a try," Maggie said, to which the others agreed and goaded them lightly.

"How about Decepticunt?"

Everyone fell completely silent and turned to regard Captain Lennox, who had remained quiet and observant up until that point. Their surprise wasn't entirely due to his speaking up, however, and had more to do with the fact he didn't seem the type to open up quite like that.

"Dude, aren't you, like, a family man?" Sam asked, his laughter the first sounds to break up the moment.

"Yeah, your wife would gut you if you said that around your little girl. You should be ashamed of yourself," Epps seconded, blatantly amused at his friend's expense.

Lennox was blushing around the ears slightly, embarrassed about the reminder, but he took it all in stride. It wasn't as if he hadn't resorted to cussing before, and his wife wasn't there, so it was all in good fun. Besides, it was unanimously agreed upon that he had won the naming contest.