Author's Note: Thanks again for all your wonderful comments. I really appreciate the feedback. And, as ever, much thanks to my beta-reader, MrsTater.

Part IV: Lover

The corridors were swarming with anxious and excited cadets, all eager to leave Earth for their first real mission. Nyota wove through the crowd, searching for the black officers' uniforms among the sea of red. After a few minutes she finally spotted Spock, and pushed through the crowd to reach him.

"Commander!" she called.

He quickly turned at the sound of her voice, and waited for her to reach him.

"May I have a quick word? In private?"

"Certainly, Cadet." He nodded and led her into a less-crowded corridor, where they ducked into a recessed doorway.

"Is the Enterprise joining the mission?" Nyota asked.

"It is," Spock replied. "The ship is insufficiently supplied for a lengthy voyage, but all systems and stores are adequately prepared for the short trip to Vulcan."

His tone was even, but Nyota was certain he must feel anxious about the sort of destruction a planet-wise disaster could cause on Vulcan. "Have you heard from your parents?" she asked.

"No. All communications with Vulcan were lost shortly after the initial distress call was received."

She could tell she would have little success getting a more elaborate response from him on the topic. Instead, she asked, "Who's in charge of assigning the cadets to their ships?"

"I will be working with several of the other officers to assign the cadets according to their abilities and aptitudes."

Nyota nodded in relief. With Spock giving out the assignments, she was sure to get a spot with him on the Enterprise.

"Okay," she said. "I'll see you soon."

She gave his hand a quick squeeze before heading back out into the stream of moving cadets. It was time to get to work.

***

Forty-eight hours later the entire universe had been turned upside down and inside out. The Federation would never be the same again. Spock would never be the same again.

The Enterprise slogged along at impulse speed while repair crews swarmed through her corridors, mending their broken vessel. Back at Spacedock the Excalibur was being loaded with the replacement warp core that the Enterprise would need to get them back to Earth.

There had been no time to mourn. No time to grieve. Only just enough time to be grateful that they had survived while the enemy was destroyed, and then to return to their duties.

For more than a day, Nyota had been sitting at the Communications station, scanning through the subspace frequencies, and listening. Just listening.

Signals passed from vessel to vessel. Messages coordinating rescue efforts. Messages organizing Vulcan refugee convoys. Messages guiding the search for survivors. And messages that broke her heart every time she heard them--futile cries into the blackness, calling out for loved ones that would never, and could never, reply.

Nyota heard them all.

Behind her the rest of the bridge crew worked to bring their ship home. But Nyota ignored them except for the brief moments, coming regularly every hour, when Spock and Kirk stopped by the bridge during their circuit of the ship.

Ever since the destruction of the Narada, Kirk and Spock had been moving non-stop. Together they patrolled the corridors, visiting every critical area and each site of on-going repair.

Whenever they returned to bridge, Nyota turned to watch them and marvel. The antagonism between them had evaporated like dew under a blazing afternoon sun. Whatever comment one made, or command one issued, was echoed and elaborated by the other, all the while embedded in a constant stream of almost-teasing banter.

Wherever they went, action and change followed. It was as if they were a living unstable chemical compound, catalyzing frenetic reactions in everything they touched.

During one of their stops by the bridge, Nyota began to wonder if this strange new symbiosis was Spock's way of dealing with his pain and his anger. She kept picturing in her mind the sight of his tiny ship barreling toward the Narada, facing down a barrage of missiles--a suicide run that he had started before the Enterprise arrived to offer him a hope of escape. She kept wondering what kind of emotional torment would lead a man like him to risk death for the sake of revenge. And, more importantly, were those same emotions still churning inside of him, masked only by his strange new partnership with Kirk?

With a troubled heart she returned to her endless listening. Less than ten minutes after Kirk and Spock left the bridge, she finally found what she'd been listening for--a faint, slightly garbled distress call. It was a Vulcan ship.

***

The next time Spock returned to the bridge Nyota was shocked to see him alone. Though it had only been a day, she had already come to expect Spock and Kirk to always arrive together. Not that she minded. She almost preferred sharing her small triumph with Spock alone.

"Commander," she called.

He strode over to her station. "Yes, Lieutenant."

She sat up straighter and allowed the corners of her mouth to prick upward in a tired semblance of a smile. "Forty-eight minutes ago I pick up a distress call from the Vulcan freighter Kaalik. They'd lost warp capabilities and their life-support systems were failing. I transmitted their coordinates to the Hood. I'm pleased to report that six minutes ago I received word from the Hood that their rescue efforts were a complete success. They rescued all fifty-four souls aboard the Kaalik, including eighteen children."

She finished her report and stared up at him, waiting. But for what? Congratulations? Relief? A faint expression of hope?

Instead, Nyota was shocked by the sudden look of emptiness in his eyes. He stared, unseeing, past her toward the computer displays. The other members of the bridge crew may not have recognized the subtle shift in his bearing, but she knew the instant she saw it what she was looking at: despair. Deep and utter despair.

The slight smile vanished from her face, and she instantly wished she'd never made the report at all. She should have known--she should have somehow predicted--how it would make him feel. The fact that the rescue of fifty-four survivors was perceived as a triumph was nothing more than a stark reminder of the magnitude of what had been lost. What were fifty-four lives, compared to six billion?

What was the rescue of eighteen children compared to the loss of his mother?

"Thank you, Lieutenant," he said softly. "That is welcome news." He had reformed his features into a picture of perfect impassivity, but Nyota could still see the unimaginable grief behind his mask.

She wanted to reach out and hold him--give comfort to him--right there on the bridge. But she held back. He didn't seek comfort the way a human would. He would never be willing to accept what she wanted to give him. She had no idea how to help him, other than to continue to carry out her duties to the best of her abilities, as he had requested before. So that was what she did.

***

For three more hours, Spock made the hourly visit to the bridge alone. Nyota had no more reports for him.

Not long after Spock's third visit, Kirk finally appeared again, looking somewhat refreshed. He must have taken a break.

He made the rounds of the bridge, visiting every station, and Nyota waited on tenterhooks for him to reach her. Just a few minutes earlier she had received a report that she had no desire to share.

"Lieutenant Uhura," Kirk said, finally reaching her. "Anything new to report?"

She stared down at the PADD in her hands, into which she had downloaded the details of the report. Somehow, she felt passing it along to Kirk would make it that much more real. That speaking the words aloud would finally break her. But she had no choice. It was her job.

She looked up at him. "Yes, Sir. Starfleet Command just sent us the final casualty lists from the Battle of Vulcan." Her voice felt thick in her throat, and sounded hoarse. She wondered when that had happened.

Kirk nodded wearily, as if he had resigned himself to hearing the bad news. "Okay. What's the rundown?"

Nyota took a deep breath, doing all in her power to hold back her tears. "Two shuttles from the Exeter were rescued, carrying fourteen souls. Four shuttles from the Merrimac were rescued, carrying thirty-eight souls. And one shuttle from the Potemkin was retrieved, carrying nine souls. All three ships were destroyed. There were no other survivors. The Farragut, Yorktown, Defiant, and Eagle were also destroyed, with all hands lost." She heard her own voice cracking and breaking, and fought to control it.

There was nothing subtle or nuanced about the grief and anger that spread across Kirk's face. He frowned, shaking his head as Nyota handed over the PADD.

"Seven ships." He shook his head again. "Seven ships, and more than half our graduating class, all in a matter of minutes." He cursed. "It's not right. Things like this… it shouldn't happen."

For the first time since she'd met him, Nyota felt a growing respect for Jim Kirk. Not just as an officer, but as a man.

He closed his eyes, still shaking his head. When he opened them again, he looked down at her with an almost pleading expression. "What ship was Gaila on?"

The question finally pushed Nyota over the edge. A sob burst from her lips, and tears began to wind their way down her cheeks. "The Farragut." She choked back another sob, fighting to regain control of her emotions. "She was on the Farragut."

Kirk clenched his jaw, his face turning red with emotion. "God damn it." His whole body tensed up, shuddering with rage. "God damn it! God damn it! God damn it!"

He punctuated his outburst by throwing the PADD to the floor. As it skittered uselessly away, he closed his eyes and leaned against the console next to Nyota, rubbing his head with his hand.

The whole bridge crew was staring at him, but the instant he opened his eyes she knew he didn't care. As far as he was concerned, she was the only one in the room.

"I'm so sorry, Uhura," he said. "I'm so, so sorry."

The tears still running down her cheeks were echoed by the moisture in his own eyes. "Thank you, Captain," she replied.

"Uhura?"

"Yes, Sir?" She looked up into his intense gaze.

"Have you had a break yet--since the Narada was destroyed?"

She bit her lip guiltily, and shook her head. "Not yet. I thought I could serve the ship best by remaining at my post."

"Uhura." His voice softened. "Even I've found time for a nap and meal. There are other communications officers. Let one of them have a turn."

"Okay."

"Call up Ensign…Ensign…"

"Nodos," called Chekov from across the bridge.

"Thank you," replied Kirk. "Yes, call up Ensign Nodos to relieve you. Then go to your quarters to get some sleep, and some food. That's an order."

"Yes, Sir." Nyota wiped the tears away from her cheeks. "I'll do that."

***

The minimally furnished crew quarters offered Nyota little comfort. She tossed and turned on the unfamiliar mattress for at least an hour before she heard her door chime.

"Come in," she called, sitting up wearily.

A single glance at the silhouette through the translucent partition screening the sleeping area from the door was all she needed to know who had come. It was Spock.

She stood as he walked around the partition to face her.

"Nyota," he said. "The captain informed me about the Farragut, and about Gaila. I am sorry for your loss. Is there anything you need?"

Dumbstruck, she stared at him. He was the one who had lost more than anyone should have to bear. He was the one who should be grieving. Yet here he was, offering her the solace that she should be providing to him.

And, Nyota realized, she was too weak not to accept it.

A fresh wave of tears rolled down her face, and a new sob escaped her lips.

"Spock. I need you."

With a few short strides, he was at her side, wrapping his arms around her. She leaned into his chest, clinging to him desperately as she wept.

All the emotion that she had tried so hard to contain for the past day came pouring out at once. She wept for Gaila, Starfleet, and her lost classmates. She wept for Vulcan and for Spock's mother. And most of all, she wept for Spock, because he would not weep for himself.

After several minutes, he gently led her to the bed, and laid her down. He reclined beside her, once more wrapping his arms around her and cradling her to his chest.

A few minutes later, Nyota's tears finally subsided. She snuggled into the warmth of his embrace, relishing this rare closeness that he could share only with her.

She didn't know how long they lay together on her bed. It could have been ten minutes. It could have been an hour. At last Spock relaxed his hold on her, and slowly pulled away, sitting up.

"I need to return to my duties now," he said.

Nyota propped herself on an elbow. "Have you slept yet? Have you eaten?"

"I consumed some rations two hours ago."

She sat up all the way. "You need to sleep."

He rose and stood at the edge of her bed. "Vulcans are physiologically capable of going for several weeks without sleep."

"You're only half Vulcan."

"I am perfectly aware of my heritage." His voice took on a hard, frustrated edge.

Nyota looked away from his gaze. How could she force him to confront the emotions that he was denying? She couldn't control him. He had to decide for himself how best to deal with his grief and anger. "I'm sorry. You're right. If you need to go back to work, I won't interfere."

He nodded. "Thank you. I will see again after you have rested."

He walked toward the door.

Without thinking, she rose to follow him. Something more needed to be said. Something that she should have said weeks ago. "Spock."

He turned slowly to look at her again.

She stepped toward him. "Spock… I love you."

A series of indecipherable emotions flashed across his face before he closed the gap between them and took her in his arms once again.

"Nyota. I have no words to express the gratitude I feel to have you this ship--and to have you in my life."

He tilted his head forward to give her a soft, lingering kiss.

They stood in each other's arms for another minute, savoring the embrace, before his arms once again slackened, releasing her.

"I must go now."

"Okay." She nodded. "Take care of yourself."

"You do the same."

He left her quarters, the door swishing closed behind him.

Nyota walked slowly back to the bed and lay in the spot still warm from his body heat. In a matter of seconds, she was asleep.

***

When she woke, Nyota was shocked to find that she had slept for more than six hours. She took a hurried shower, grabbed a quick meal in the mess hall, and returned to her post on the bridge.

She was glad to hear that shortly after she went to sleep, the Excalibur arrived with the replacement warp core. In just a few hours installation would be complete, and they would be able to go home.

Nyota casually walked over to the pilot's station, and asked Lieutenant Sulu if he happened to know where Commander Spock was.

"Last I heard, he was in engineering supervising the installation of the new warp core," replied Sulu. He shook his head. "That man is like a machine. I don't think he's taken a break since we first left Spacedock. It's amazing."

"Yeah, pretty amazing." She forced a smile on her face. "Thanks. I'd better get back to my post."

As every hour passed without Spock's return to the bridge, her apprehension grew. She knew that he was losing himself in his work to try to overcome his grief, but she couldn't imagine how pushing himself like this would do anything but harm--even to a Vulcan.

At last, the warp core installation was complete and Kirk ordered the jump to warp. After all those exhausting hours limping along at impulse speeds, within five minutes they were home.

As they completed docking procedures at Spacedock, Uhura saw visible relief and happiness on the faces of all the other bridge officers. She felt it herself--but her relief was tainted by her continued anxiety for Spock.

"Lieutenant Uhura," said Kirk. "Patch me through to the whole ship."

She nodded and opened the general intercom to the Captain's chair.

"This is Captain Kirk speaking. Before we disembark, I want each and every one of you to know that it has been a privilege and an honor to serve with you. You've all performed your duties with distinction and excellence in the face of terror and tragedy. I am proud that, for a short time, I've been able to call myself your captain. Now, effective immediately, you are all granted indefinite shore leave. You've earned it, people. Go on home."

***

Nyota pushed her way through the crowds of people headed toward the airlock that led to Spacedock. She didn't even bother scanning the faces of the passing crowd--she knew she wouldn't find who she was looking for.

When she arrived in engineering, it was almost empty. It seemed that everyone had taken Kirk's orders to heart. Everyone except the lone figure in blue, standing at the warp core monitoring station.

She strode toward him. "Spock."

He turned at the sound of her voice. His face looked ashen and weary. Even his shoulders had begun to slump. Going without sleep for more than seventy-two hours had taken a serious toll on him.

"Lieutenant--I was certain you would have left for Spacedock by now."

"No." She shook her head, coming to a stop beside him. "I won't leave until you come with me."

He attempted to straighten his stance. "I cannot abandon my post until I have fully briefed the incoming repair crews."

"Spock, the repair crews might not come onboard for a few more hours. You need to rest now."

"I am perfectly capable of waiting until the repair crews arrive. They will function more effectively if they are briefed by an officer familiar with the current status of the ship." He turned away from her to look back at the monitoring station.

Nyota slid in beside him and placed a hand down over his control panel, impeding his access. She looked up into his eyes. "Why are you doing this, Spock? Are you trying to work yourself to death?"

His eyes narrowed. "That would be highly illogical."

"Not much of what you're doing right now is logical. You have to see that. If you're doing this to try to avoid dealing with your pain--"

He gripped her wrist and firmly removed her hand from the control panel. "Do not presume to understand my motives."

"I don't presume anything," she said. "I'm just trying to make sense of what I see. Like your suicide attack on the Narada. I can't explain it. You could have used evasive maneuvers until the Enterprise arrived. But instead you started that collision course long before we warped into transport range. Did you really hurt so much that you wanted to die to make it go away?"

"No!" He glared down at her with a fire in his eyes that she hadn't seen since he attacked Kirk on the bridge. He spoke in a harsh, clipped tone. "I did not want to die, Nyota. I made a choice to do everything in my power to ensure that your home and your family would not be destroyed as mine had been. And for that goal, yes, I was prepared to die."

The anger in his gaze was too much for her. She looked away, blinking back tears.

"I'm sorry," she said softly. "You're right. I never should have presumed."

"No, you should not have."

She couldn't look at him. "I'll leave your to your duties, now."

She turned and slowly walked toward the nearest turbolift. She kept waiting to hear him call after her--to stop her from leaving with so much anger between them. But he never did.

***

Since her return to San Francisco three days earlier, Nyota had gotten in the habit of spending her free time scanning for signals from the Long-Range Sensor Lab. Most of her friends were dead, she couldn't stand the new emptiness of her dorm-room, and Spock had been avoiding her. She had nowhere else to go.

The other cadets who came to use the lab now seemed so very young and inexperienced. She may have only been on one mission, but Nyota already felt like a veteran.

On the evening of the third day, she was interrupted in the lab by an unexpected visitor.

"Lieutenant Uhura. So this is where you've been hiding out."

She spun in her chair to see Kirk leaning nonchalantly against the doorframe. She smiled in spite of herself. It was good to finally see someone familiar.

"Hi, Kirk. Is it still Captain?" She folded her arms and leaned back in her chair.

He grinned. "Well…I'm still working on that one."

"So what brings you here? Are there some frequencies you need me to monitor?" She arched an eyebrow.

He chuckled. "Maybe I'll think of some later. Actually, I came to give you this. Orders from Admiral Pike."

He handed her a PADD. She glanced down at it, and her eyes grew wide with amazement as she read. "Chief Communications Officer aboard the Enterprise? But… I haven't even officially graduated yet!"

Kirk leaned against the console next to her. "You earned that position five times over, Uhura, and you know it. Besides, if you would read the whole thing, you'd see that all the cadets who served aboard the Enterprise have been granted early graduation, and have been allowed to keep their battlefield commissions permanently."

"Even you?" She looked at him pointedly.

He grinned again. "Like I said, I'm working on it."

She smiled back.

Kirk spoke again. "So, how's Spock doing?"

Her smile faded. "I was hoping you could tell me. We haven't spoken since I left the Enterprise. We didn't part on very good terms."

"No way." Kirk scrunched his forehead.

"I'm afraid so. I said a few stupid things, and he didn't take them very well. I'm afraid we might be…over." She spun back to face her console, trying to keep her emotions from bubbling up again.

Kirk shook his head. "I wouldn't worry too much if I was you. He'll get over it. The man is totally in love with you."

Nyota shook her head and laughed hollowly. "Yeah. Right."

"He is! He told me so himself."

"What?!" She snapped her head up to stare Kirk in the eye. How could Spock have told Kirk of all people?

"Yeah. Well, kind of."

She rose to her feet and leaned toward him. "Why don't you tell me exactly what he said so that we can avoid any confusion here?"

One side of his mouth curved up into the smirk she used to hate so much. This time, however, she sensed more sympathy there than she ever had before.

"It was on the Narada," he said. "When Spock was getting ready to go on that death run of his, he told me that if he didn't come back that he wanted me to tell you something for him."

She stood up straighter, raising her eyebrows. "And?"

"And… that was it. I didn't let him finish. I cut him off."

"You cut him off?" The tone of her voice rose precipitously.

Kirk shrugged. "I knew we'd both make it back. And we did. As for the loving you thing--I guess I just saw how you two acted together and filled in the blanks. You two make sense. I'm sure he'll come around before too long."

Nyota shook her head and bit back a sharp reply. She wasn't so sure that Spock would change his mind, but she forced a smile. "I hope so. Thanks."

Kirk shot her one last grin before heading for the door. "Anytime, Uhura. Anytime."

***

The next morning, Nyota received another unexpected visitor. She was engrossed in a scan of signals in the Delphic Expanse when one of the cadets tapped her on the shoulder.

"Commander Spock is out in the corridor," he said. "He'd like to speak to you in private."

Nyota's heart started to race, but she kept her outward appearance as calm as she could. "Thank you, cadet."

She walked calmly and deliberately out into the corridor. Spock stood waiting for her. The color had come back to his face, and he looked rested and well again.

"Hello, Commander," she said. "You're looking well today."

"Thank you, Lieutenant. Will you walk with me?"

She nodded and fell into step beside him as they walked away from the lab. They walked in tense silence through the tiled hall until they left the building and came out into the central quad. Nyota's eyes flicked unconsciously across the quad to the flags, waving mournfully at half-staff.

Finally, as they turned away from the flags and started down the path to the bay, Spock broke the silence.

"Nyota--I dislike the way we parted when we last spoke aboard the Enterprise. I spoke to you with uncharacteristic harshness, and wish to apologize for my behavior." He looked steadily ahead of him, his hands clasped behind his back.

"No," she reached out to him, lightly resting her hand on his elbow. "If anyone needs to apologize, it's me. I was controlling and judgmental. I never should have behaved that way."

They both halted at the corner of the building, turning to look at one another.

"It seems we both behaved in a distasteful manner," said Spock. "Let me assure you that I harbor no ill-will toward you. It was a very… emotional… time for us both."

The corners of her mouth turned up. "Yes. It was." Her whole body relaxed in relief. He had forgiven her. "So," she dared ask, "why didn't you contact me sooner?"

He looked down at his feet. "I needed time to meditate and reflect in private."

If Nyota was going to continue her relationship with him, she knew that she would have to learn to respect his needs, even if they didn't always mesh with what she wanted. She nodded. "I understand."

He turned to continue walking, and lightly touched the small of her back, leading her forward. They rounded the corner and headed into the small quad that overlooked the bay.

"It may amuse you to know that you were not the only person concerned about my well-being the day we returned to Spacedock. Not long after you left engineering, Captain Kirk and Dr. McCoy arrived and ordered me to take a mandatory medical leave of at least forty-eight hours."

Nyota smiled in tight-lipped amusement. "I'm glad to hear that I'm not the only one who cares about you."

"Indeed, it seems you are not." His fingers stretched out to graze against hers as they walked. "I spent the first two days after my return in rest and meditation. Yesterday I joined my father and the Vulcan High Council with their work among the refugees. They have called for a gathering of all remaining Vulcans so that my people may plan their future together."

Nyota gripped his arm. "How is your father?"

They had reached the low fence at the edge of the quad, and Spock stood by it, staring out over the bay. "He finds solace in his work, as do we all." He turned to face her again. "I am expected to join them shortly for today's meetings and councils. But I desired to see you first. I still wish to continue our relationship. Do you wish the same?"

She took his hand. "I do."

The corners of his mouth turned up in the first semblance of a smile that she'd seen in a week. "I am pleased. I have ensured that my schedule is free tomorrow evening. Are you available to join me in my apartment at twenty-hundred hours?"

"Nothing would make me happier."

***

Spock and Nyota sat together on his sofa in very much the same place where they first kissed. After sharing tea and catching up on what they'd been doing for the past several days, Spock's voice took on a more serious tone.

"When I was aboard the Narada," he began, "it occurred to me that there were many things I ought to have said to my mother before she died--many sentiments that I ought to have expressed, no matter how illogical they may have seemed. I do not want to make the same mistake with you."

He looked intently into Nyota's eyes, and she held her breath in anticipation.

"Nyota--I asked you here tonight in order to tell you that your friendship has been, and continues to be, the most important of my life."

Her heart leaped and danced in her chest. His calm and even tone did not disguise the importance of his declaration. She had never expected so much from him.

She stretched her arms out to lay her hands on his leg. "I love you."

"I know."

With greater aggressiveness and passion than he had ever before demonstrated he pulled her to him, smothering her with his kiss.

For the first time in their relationship, his hands roamed over her body, exploring and caressing freely. As the intensity of their embrace continued to escalate, Nyota felt something that she had never experienced before--the touch of his mind against hers.

Her mind perceived even more clearly than her body the strength of his desire, and the intensity of his need. With his pure, unfailingly honest thoughts he was able to ask her what he had never yet uttered with his voice--he asked her to give herself to him completely.

With all the force of her thoughts and her body together she replied with an unmistakable "Yes!"

He gathered her in his arms and lifted her as if she weighed no more than a child, and carried her back to his bedroom.

When he set her back down on the floor, she raised her arms, allowing him to pull her top off over her head. She snaked her hands under his shirt, and he let her remove it. Her hands dropped to his waist, unzipping his pants.

She could feel him tensing up, and she looked up into his eyes. "Is something wrong?"

He shook his head. "No. It is merely that… I have no prior experience with such an encounter. I may need some… guidance."

She grinned, and let out a short, low laugh. "Don't worry. I'll teach you everything you need to know."

***

In the morning, after her shower, Nyota sat on the edge of the bed brushing her hair as Spock dressed.

"I need to spend the day packing. I'm leaving for Nairobi tomorrow morning to spend a day or two with my mother, and I need to decide what I'm taking onboard the Enterprise and what I'll be storing at her house."

"That seems a sensible course of action." Spock sat beside her to pull on his socks and boots.

"And then," she continued, "when I get back I'll head straight up to the ship. No more dorm rooms for me. Will you already be onboard when I get there?"

He took a long, measured breath as he pulled on his second boot. "That is something I have been meaning to discuss with you."

Something in his tone made her nervous. She set down her brush and stared at him. "What is it?"

"I… am not certain if I will be joining you aboard the Enterprise."

Nyota felt as if she had to have heard him wrong. "I don't understand."

He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his legs. "During my discussions with my father and the other Vulcan Elders, I have come to see the great importance of uniting with my people to assist in the rebuilding of my species."

A sick dread began to grow in Nyota's stomach. He couldn't possibly be saying what she thought he was saying--could he?

He spoke again. "I have no desire to leave Starfleet. However, logic dictates that the needs of the many--the needs of my people--outweigh my personal desires. It is my duty to resign my commission and to assist in the perpetuation of my species."

She stared at him in disbelief. "Oh my God. The perpetuation of your species? Are you saying that you…?"

He nodded. "I would be expected to take a Vulcan wife, and to act to bring forth offspring."

She shook her head and rose to her feet, walking away from him. She couldn't be hearing this. Not after last night.

"Oh God," she said. "Oh my God. That's what last night was all about, wasn't it? You were saying good-bye."

He rose to his feet. "Nyota--"

She spun to face him. "You brought me here--you seduced me--all the while knowing that in the morning you were going to tell me this!?"

His eyes were wider than usual. "Nyota--I believed that physical intimacy would be the most effective way to convey the true depth of my regard for you. If I had known that you would react in this fashion, I never would have--"

"No!" She held up her hands, gesturing for him to stop. "I can't hear this right now. Don't say that. Don't regret what we did."

"I… I do not regret." He tentatively stretched one arm out toward her, but then dropped it. "Nyota--I have not made my final decision. And I truly wish to remain involved in this relationship with you. I simply do not know how to reconcile my desires with my duties."

Nyota felt tears welling in her eyes, and she fought to hold them back. She heaved a deep, shuddering breath.

He stepped toward her. "How may I help you? What can I do?"

She shook her head. "I just… I need some time to take this in." Her voice quavered as she spoke. "Please just let me sit down and think."

He nodded mutely, and stepped back.

She staggered back to the bed and sank down. Her head was spinning. She squeezed back her tears, and bent over her knees, cradling her face in her hands.

Her mind circled the dilemma again and again. She loved him. She wanted to be with him. But his people needed him. The more she thought about it, the deeper the awful truth began to sink in. If their positions had been reversed, she would have felt a deep sense of obligation to help repopulate her species, and to carry on the human race. Of course he would feel the same.

His people needed him. They needed him even more than she did.

From the very beginning of their relationship, Nyota had been prepared to be separated from him. But she had never expected the separation to be quite so permanent.

She blotted the tears away from her face, and took another deep breath. Her mother had always taught her that real love wasn't selfish--it was selfless. Nyota could see now that the best thing she could do to show Spock her love, would be to tell him the truth, and to say goodbye.

She slowly raised her head and met his eyes. He looked more anxious than she had ever seen him.

"I'll miss you," she said. "I'll miss you so much. But… I understand. Your people need you. And if you make the decision to stay with them… I will support you."

He sat down close beside her, their legs touching.

"Thank you, Nyota. I value your support."

They sat in silence for several minutes, simply treasuring each other's presence. Finally, Nyota rose to her feet.

"I need to go now. I have a lot to do."

"I understand."

He followed her to the door. "Will I see you again before you leave for the Enterprise?"

She squeezed her eyes shut. She longed to see him again--longed to spend every possible waking moment with him. But in the end it would only make letting go that much harder.

She shook her head. "I don't think that would be a good idea. I don't want to place undue pressure on you while you're trying to make your decision."

"Yes. That is logical."

"So…" She looked up at him. "That makes this goodbye."

Gently he reached up to run his fingers along her cheek. He closed his eyes and leaned forward, resting his forehead against hers. They stood like that for several minutes before Nyota pulled back.

"Goodbye, Spock."

"Goodbye," he whispered.

She turned, and left him behind.

As she left his building, she stopped struggling to stay strong. All of the tears that she'd held back finally spilled out of her eyes and streamed down her cheeks.

***

After her farewell visit to her mother, Nyota shipped up to the Enterprise. She didn't contact Spock before leaving. If he wanted to speak with her, he would have to contact her himself.

She spent two days re-familiarizing herself with the communications system onboard, and getting to know the other communications officers that would be serving under her. On the evening of the second day, she received orders from Admiral Pike to return to Earth for a special commendation ceremony. All the senior officers of the Enterprise were to attend.

The next afternoon she arrived back at the Academy and made her way to the Assembly Hall. Old friends and colleagues greeted her, and tried to draw her into conversation, but Nyota didn't feel much like talking. Instead of taking a seat in the main area of the Hall, she slipped out and made her way to the dimly-lit upper gallery.

She scanned the Hall for sight of Spock, but he didn't seem to be there. Her heart sank. If he hadn't come to the ceremony, it probably meant that he had decided to resign. Their last meeting really had been goodbye.

As Kirk received his commendation and his new commission as permanent captain of the Enterprise, Nyota tried to feel the same excitement and celebration as the rest of the crowd. But she couldn't bring herself to join in.

As the cheering subsided, she sighed, and turned to leave the gallery. In surprise, she noticed that she was not the only person who'd been watching the ceremony from the upper gallery. An older Vulcan man stood on the far side of the gallery.

There was something about him that seemed uncannily familiar.

Nyota knew that she shouldn't intrude on his privacy, but she felt inexplicably drawn to him. Slowly she made her way over to him.

"Pardon me, Sir," she said as she drew near to him. "I'm sorry to intrude, and this probably sounds very irrational, but I somehow have the feeling that I know you, even though we've never met."

The Vulcan man turned to meet her eyes, and, amazingly, smiled. The shock of recognition was powerful.

"My God," Nyota whispered. "You're Spock."

He nodded. "I am indeed Spock, Nyota Uhura. It is very good to see you again."

She shook her head. "I'd heard rumors, but I had no idea they were true…"

"They are. I was pulled through the same black hole as the Narada to arrive in your time."

Nyota could hardly believe what was happening--could hardly believe who was standing in front of her. "It's amazing. Are you--are you going to try to go back?"

"No." He shook his head. "I dare not risk another such trip. The dangers and potential complications are too severe. I intend to remain here and help my people build a new Vulcan colony."

"They're lucky to have your experience and insights to help them. But won't it be difficult to live in the same colony as the… other you?"

The corners of his mouth turned up in yet another smile. "It will be odd. But I am certain we will adjust to the situation, should my young counterpart choose to live with the colony."

"He seemed pretty determined to go last time I spoke with him."

Old Spock arched an eyebrow. "Did he?"

Nyota nodded. Too many questions danced insistently in her mind for her to ignore them. So she chose to ask the most important.

"In your timeline," she said, "did things between you and the other me…work out? Did things between you last?"

Old Spock's eyebrows shot upward. "Nyota--am I to understand that you and my counterpart are engaged in a romantic relationship?"

"Yes. We have been. I just…" Understanding finally dawned. "Oh. In your timeline, you and I were never involved, were we?"

He shook his head. "We were not. We were dear friends. Nothing more."

The sudden surge of pain in her chest shocked Nyota. She didn't know why it should hurt so much to know that this other Spock, and that other Nyota, had never loved each other. But it did.

Nyota turned away from him to hide the rising moisture in her eyes. She shook her head. "If she was anything like me--and I'm guessing she was--she was probably in love with you for a couple of years. She just never got up the courage to tell you."

"Fascinating."

She couldn't help but smile at the familiar utterance.

Old Spock's hand came to rest on her shoulder, and she looked up at him.

"Nyota. I am happy that he has you in his life. Perhaps, with you to help him, he can learn to appreciate his humanity far earlier than I did."

"I don't know." She shook her head again. "I don't think I'll be in his life any longer. He's leaving Starfleet to be with his people."

Again, he smiled at her. "Do not despair. Your future is not yet written. You must hold onto the hope that anything is possible."

As he spoke, she felt a new sense of peace and assurance spread through her whole being. She knew he must be using his telepathy to influence her, but she didn't care. It felt wonderful.

"Thank you."

"It has been so very good to speak to you again, old friend." He took her in a warm, fatherly embrace, which she was glad to return.

***

Two days later, Nyota sat at her station on the bridge as all of the officers ran through the final pre-launch checklists.

She felt a slight shudder surge through the ship as they released the docking clamps connecting them to Spacedock.

All stations gave their all-clear reports to the Captain as he took his seat on the bridge. He seemed about to issue the command to head out when the turbolift doors whooshed open, and Nyota heard a familiar and highly unexpected voice.

"Permission to come aboard," said Spock, striding over to Kirk.

Nyota rose to her feet and grinned in disbelief as Kirk welcomed Spock back to the crew. As Spock strode past her to his station, his eyes met hers, and his expression flashed with eager excitement.

She shook her head, still grinning, and returned to her station beside his.

After the first jolt of jumping to warp had passed, she turned to look at him and found his eyes already on her.

"I didn't expect to see you," she said. "I thought that staying with Starfleet was illogical."

"It is." He nodded. "However, in recent months I have learned a valuable lesson. The logical decision is not always the right decision."

Nyota's heart rose in her chest, and she felt like laughing with joy. Spock was back. And he was here to stay.

"I am very, very happy that you're here," she said.

He held her gaze, and his mouth curved into the most obvious smile she'd ever seen him wear in public. "Allow me to assure you, Nyota--the feeling is mutual."

Author's Note: Yes, this is the end. I do plan on writing more Spock/Uhura in the future, but I have to balance my fic time with my novel-writing time, so it could be a few weeks to a month before I post something new. Thanks so much for all your support!