One day, Daria and Jane were walking to school when who should walk up to them but Mr. T!

"I'm Mr. T, fools!" he shouted.

"Oh my God, it's Mr. T!" Daria and Jane shouted.

"Shut the fuck up!" Mr. T punched Daria's head off, which exploded with a fireball.

When Jane looked at Daria's headless corpse, she realized her friend was a robot.

"Oh my God! Daria was a robot all along!" Jane cried out.

"No she wasn't, fool! She was replaced! Come on!"

Mr. T and Jane ran to Lawndale High, which was being guarded by Dr. Manson.

"I won't let you pass, Mr. T!" Dr. Manson warned him.

"Shut up, bitch!" Mr. T punched Dr. Manson in the head. Dr. Manson's head exploded, sending chunks of watermelon everywhere.

"Oh my God! Dr. Manson was a watermelon all along!" Jane shouted.

Mr. T and Jane rushed inside, where they met Ms. Li.

"Stop, Mr. T! If you ever want to see Daria alive again, you will bow to me!"

"Kiss my ass!" Mr. T kicked Ms. Li's head off, where it flew out a window and between the Tommy Sherman Goalpost.

"Oh my God! Ms. Li was a football all along!" Jane shouted.

"Daria's not here, come on!" Mr. T said. Together, they ran to Daria's house, where Helen Morgendorffer waited for them.

"Mr. T! Curse you, bastard! My plan to make Daria popular would have worked out if you hadn't destroyed Robo-Daria!"

Mr. T just glared at Helen, who melted into a puddle.

"Oh my God! Helen was a puddle all along!" Jane shouted.

"To the basement!" Mr. T shouted.

"But Daria doesn't have a basement!" Jane shouted.

Mr. T punched a hole in the floor and jumped in to the basement. Jane jumped in after him.

At the far end of the basement, Daria sat bound, gagged, and blindfolded in a chair. Mr. T started to approach, but was blocked by four figures.

"Not so fast, Mr. T!" Quinn shouted.

"If you want to get to Daria, you'll have to get through us first!" Sandi shouted.

"The Fashion Club Ninjas!" Stacy shouted.

"Your chains are sooooooo shiny!" Tiffany shouted.

After an epic kung-fu battle, the Fashion Club Ninjas lay unconscious on the basement floor.

"Oh my God! The Fashion Club were ninjas all along!" Jane shouted.

Mr. T walked up to Daria and released her.

"Oh, Mr. T, you saved my life!" Daria said, kissing Mr. T.

"Daria, I will always love you, but the world needs a hero now more than ever. Goodbye." Mr. T caressed her cheek, then flew away, creating a big hole in the house.

"Goodbye, Mr. T," Daria wept.

Suddenly, Mr. T flew back in and punched Jane in the head, which exploded with a fireball.

When Daria looked at Jane's headless corpse, she realized her friend was a robot.

"Oh my God! Jane was a robot all along!" Daria shouted.

WHAT HAPPENED TO THE REAL JANE? WILL DARIA AND MR. T SAVE HER IN TIME? OR IS JANE DOOMED MUCH LIKE THE FORBIDDEN LOVE BETWEEN DARIA AND MR. T? TUNE IN NEXT TIME FOR 'ALISON VS MR. T'!

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After reading the recent post on the Fandom Blog Mk. II about Mr. T, I was inspired to write up this bit of silliness. That sequel's real, by the way -- I have it all planned out in my head.