Journey Of Self

Had somebody told her years earlier that she'd end up where she now was, she'd not have believed them. She'd probably have dismissed them for an idiot or a spinner of tales and gone about her life only to discover later on that she was mistaken in her judgement of them.

She'd not have believed that she would go on the run with Mulder, or that she'd fall madly in love with him, his passionate personality and his resolute determination in his pursuit of the truth. She'd not have believed that she'd have the patience or the courage to follow him as she had done, so blindly and so recklessly.

She'd not have even considered that they'd move in and build lives together and yet be so distanced emotionally. She'd not have believed a lot of things.

The truth of it all was she could never have seen into her future and altered it – she'd never have taken any of it back even if it had been possible. Her life was uniquely hers. It made her who she was and she'd be damned to lose that. Her beliefs and experiences were what held her together. They were her.

Had she known her future, nothing that had happened would have changed and she'd again be sitting where she was, contemplating the past and how far she'd come in the past few years.

There were an incredibly large number of possibilities and roads her life could travel upon, but only the one which she now walked was the one she wanted. She hadn't expected it, but it was the road she'd taken and getting there, to the truth, had always been the greatest journey of all. She could only imagine what she'd have to face next.