Author's Notes: I happened to take some crap out and put new parts in the story, so read it all over again! Sorry! Spin-off of my story. This chapter twists the whole story as if it never happened. Ch. 10 is starting totally fresh with some ideas from earlier chapters. Don't hate me if I repeat things that already happened. Edward is more violent in this chapter than in previous ones. There is also more cussing and dirtiness if you know what I mean. ;) Lol. Also want to clarify that I own nothing…except my imagination! Many thanks to Stephenie Meyer for thinking of this amazing-ness that is the Twilight Series!
Recommended Songs to listen to (Does anyone even care?):
Death of Me-Red*I Almost Told You That I Loved You-Papa Roach
Whispers in the Dark-Skillet*Halo-Beyoncé
I can't take being manhandled anymore, so I'm leaving. Edward is not here. That doesn't surprise me though. He's vanishes all the time. He only comes home to torture me. I'm sick of it. I pack my things and start carrying them out to my car. Damn, I just remembered he took my keys. He doesn't trust me, not like he used to anyhow. I never lied to him. I'm always the honest one. I can't bring myself to become a liar. I go back inside, defeated. I'll get them tonight, while he's hurting me again. Sometimes there's no reason for it and other times he says it's for my own good. Good for what? Making me feel useless and futile, that's what.
He comes in through the bedroom window around 10:47pm. I only know this because that's what the clock reads. His icy hands touch my shoulders and yank me towards him. "Bella, where's my goodnight kiss? You didn't forget about me, did you?" his voice sarcastic yet full of bitterness. "No, of course not, Edward," I can barely force the words out. "Good. Get up. We need to talk," his voice rising with anger. He trails behind me as I head downstairs into the dining room. I sit, he sits. His hands fold on the table and I hear his foot tapping impatiently. "I'm waiting, Bella," he growls. "I didn't do anything wrong. Please," I beg. "Wrong answer," he shouts as he jumps off the chair. He catches the chair mere seconds before it crashes to the floor. Could he have known that I was planning to leave? Duh, he could read people's minds, except for mine.
His hand grips my wrist firmly. "N-no. Please, stop it," I plead. It's fruitless as always. He steals my pride with every hit and every tear. I don't stop him either because I can't. Screaming bloody murder doesn't do shit. No one is going to aid a screaming wife when the husband is the one causing the problem. They simply dismiss it; only one other knew what really happened...Dr. Carlisle Cullen. Edward drags me upstairs. "Bella, come on now. You know that I hate when you whine," his hand is crushing my wrist now, "Look at me." I slowly turn my head up towards him, but it obviously was not fast enough for him. His hand came in contact with my cheek. My hand flew up to the spot, stroking it, knowing it was red because I could still feel the stinging heat. "I said look at me," he snarled. I looked at him again, tears flowing freely from my eyes. His lips curl into a sick, twisted smile.
"So pretty, Bella," he taunts. His hands curl into my hair pulling my face closer to his. His cold lips crush against mine. His tongue licks my lips for access. I gave it to him, knowing if I did otherwise, another strike would be made. He pulled away, leaving me breathless, my lips swollen. "Get to sleep, Bella. It's almost midnight," he chuckles darkly. I don't want to undress with him there, but it doesn't matter what I want. It only matters that he's happy and gets what he wants. I'm what he desires, what he craves. "Bella," is all he says. It's a question and statement all in that word. I know that's my cue.
He lies on the bed while I strip myself of my clothes, left in my panties. I feel his eyes on me, burning into me, searing me. A light purple t-shirt glides over my head as I tug it on. He's suddenly there, behind me. His face is lost in my strawberry-scented tresses. He inhales deeply and a low sound rumbles inside. His one arm rests on my hips, locking me in place, the other sliding up my arm. His hand is rubbing my shoulder, like he's attempting to calm me down. I can feel him through his pants and feel sickened. He spins me around. His eyes blaze with an intense lust. His hands roughly grab my chest. "Ugh," is all I can manage to get out before his lips touch mine again. Hunger is behind this kiss, getting fiercer each second. He eventually stops and remains behind me. I start to pull on my lavender and white striped pants. His hands catch mine. He shoves the pants off and presses his hands to my wrist. My pulse increases against the coolness. His lips touch each of my wrists gently. His hands trail down my stomach and stop at the top of my panties. He plays with the top of them. My stomach is doing flips…the room spinning.
Why? Why me? A voice in my head screams. Because I let him, I answer the voice. Without warning, his hands dive lower. I stand perfectly still as he touches me. I feel his body shake as he laughs. "All wet, Bella…just for me," his voice tickles my ear. He finishes up and hands me my pants. I slip them on quickly and kiss him on cheek. "Goodnight, Edward. I love you," I tell him. I could hardly spit the last part out. I climb into bed and throw the blanket over my shivering body. He grins impishly, turns off the light, and shuts the door behind him. I cry myself to sleep. This seems to be getting habitual now.
Hmm, tonight was disappointing. She didn't even resist me, no screaming…nothing. I always liked when she refused to give in, when she played hard to get. Now that I consider it, do I really love Bella? I know that I used to. She was easy to love back then, before all the attention and jealously. People, especially Mike and Jacob, had to come see Bella all the time. Bella is only mine, no one else's. Then Bella had frequent visits with some doctor, Dr. Cullen I think, when I would hurt her. That had to stop. I couldn't let anyone know, especially not a doctor.
I hear Bella upstairs. She's been asleep for almost eight hours. She even wept in her sleep and mumbled ridiculous things. But, I didn't have a soul anymore. What did I care? I told her that once but she said that I would get a second chance. I did in the end. She was my second chance. She gave me the power and control I've always wanted. Perhaps I did love her for that.
She stood in the kitchen rubbing her eyes. She still looks exhausted. "Morning. How'd you sleep?" I ask, not in least bit curious. She blinks at me and looks like she's going to bawl any second. "Ugh, okay," she mumbles. I stare at her as she prepares a bowl of cereal for herself. She sits across from me at the table. "I'm leaving," I say as I get up from my seat. She nods and says okay. "Bella, get up," I command her. She rose up quickly and flitted towards me. "Edward, I'm sorry," she whispered. Her arms are around my neck and her mouth finds mine. I can tell she's unwilling, though. I place my hand on the small of her back as I kiss her. I let go and, in a flash, am at the door. With a final glance behind me, I head towards the car.
Edward is gone again. I shouldn't miss him but I do. I thought about the time he left me. It was soon after my 18th birthday. I walked with him in the forest near Charlie's house. He was leaning against a tree, his expression unreadable. He told me that he and his family were leaving. I was confused then realized that I was not included in that. I said that I'd go with him.
He had said: "You can't, Bella. Where we're going…It's not the right place for you."
"Where you are is the right place for me."
"I'm no good for you, Bella."
Don't be ridiculous." I wanted to sound angry, but it just sounded like I was begging. "You're the very best part of my life."
"My world is not for you," he said grimly.
"You promised! In Phoenix, you promised that you would stay—"
"As long as that was best for you," he interrupted to correct me.
"No! This is about my soul, isn't it?" I shouted, furious, the words exploding out of me—somehow it still sounded like a plea. "You can have my soul. I don't want it without you—it's yours already."
He took a deep breath and stared, unseeingly, at the ground for a long moment. His mouth twisted in the tiniest bit. When he finally looked up, his eyes were different, harder—like liquid gold had frozen over.
"Bella, I don't want you to come with me." He spoke the words slowly and precisely, his cold eyes on my face, watching as I absorbed what he was really saying.
There was a pause as I repeated the words in my head a few times, sifting through them for their real intent.
"You…don't…want me?" I tried out the words, confused by the way they sounded, placed in that order.
I stared, uncomprehending, into his eyes. He stared back without apology. His eyes were like topaz—hard and clear and very deep. I felt like I could see into them miles and miles, yet nowhere in their bottomless depths could I see a contradiction to the word he'd spoken.
"Well, that changes things." I was surprised by how calm and reasonable my voice sounded. It must be because I was so numb. I couldn't realize what he was telling me. It still didn't make any sense.
He looked away into the trees as he spoke again. "Of course, I always love you…in a way. I'm tired of pretending to be something I'm not, Bella. I am not human." He looked back, and the icy planes of his perfect face were not human. "I've let this go on much too long, and I'm sorry for that."
"Don't." My voice was just a whisper now; awareness was beginning to seep through to me, trickling like acid through my veins. "Don't do this."
He just stared at me, and I could see from his eyes that my words were far too late. He already had.
"You're not good for me, Bella." He turned his earlier words around, and so I had no argument. How well I knew that I wasn't good enough for him.
I opened my mouth to say something, and then closed it again. He waited patiently, his face wiped clean of all emotion. I tried again.
"If…that's what you want."
He nodded once.
(AN: New Moon 68-70, © Stephenie Meyer)
I was in an abyss for months…a zombie to the world. It never fooled Charlie. I was left with a gaping hole inside. Only Jake could stop it from spreading further. Then Edward's sister, Alice, with her special visions had seen me throw myself off a cliff. That only led to confusion and uncertainty on everybody's part. I had saved myself, him, and Alice from a cruel and horrid fate. In return, I got persecuted, singled out, for misery.
Even when he came back and said he loved me, the hole was reopened as soon as the torment began. That reminded me of something I heard before…only the one that hurts you can take the pain away. I went back to eating my cereal, deep in thought. I thought about a song I had recently listened to. I walked into my office and googled the lyrics. I sifted through several songs until I found the one I wanted. It seemed like this song was made for me.
The lyrics read:
I know you, who are you now?
Look into my eyes if you can't remember
Do you remember? Oh
I can see, I can still find
You're the only voice my heart can recognize
But I can't hear you now, yeah
I'll never be the same I'm caught inside
the memories of promises of yesterdays
and I belong to you
I just can't walk away 'cause after loving you
I can never be the same
And how can I pretend I never
knew you like it was all a dream? No
I know I'll never forget the way I always felt
with you beside me, and how you loved me then, yeah
I'll never be the same I'm caught inside
the memories of promises of yesterdays
and I belong to you
I just can't walk away 'cause after loving you
I can never be the same
You let me near, then I watched you disappear
You left this emptiness inside and I can't turn back time
No! Stay! Nothing compares to you
Nothing compares to you
I can't let you go
Can't let you go
I can't let go
I'll never be the same,
Not after loving you,
Not after loving you,
I'll never be the same I'm caught inside
the memories of promises of yesterdays
and I belong to you
I just can't walk away 'cause after loving you
I can never be the same
I can never be the same
I will never be the same
Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa
I just can't walk away
No I can't walk away from you
(AN: Never Be The Same-Red)
I was crying, tears streaming down my pale cheeks. That was just like our love, if you could even call it that. I still loved him in some ways, but how did he feel? I was there to use, when he found the need to. I was there to exploit and be marred. I was there to be loved and comforted. But those two things never came, only suffering. I wiped my eyes with the sleeve of the shirt I had changed into earlier that morning.
I had to go. I took a chance last night. I grabbed the keys from his pocket while he was distracted from kissing me. My eyes continued leaking tears. I was nearly blind walking out to my car. I unlocked it and hopped into the driver's seat. I started the car and buckled my seat belt. Where was I going to go? I didn't think Dr. Cullen was working today. It was Sunday, the Sabbath day, if it could still be called that. I was pretty sure I knew how to get there. Again, I read the address on the business card he had given me when I had first met him. Yes, I could get there. I drove carefully not wanting to wreck into anything. I located a small entrance that was somewhat into the forest. I pulled into it and continued slowly. At the end of the driveway-type thing was a gorgeous two story house. I was awed. In the driveway sat his Mercedes. Yes, this was it. I stepped out cautiously, as if ninjas would attack me. I rang the doorbell and heard it echo inside the house. Of course, he was probably out. He wasn't too bad looking, if I say so myself.
I turned to leave then felt a hand on my shoulder. "Going somewhere?" a pleasant voice asked. I turn on my heel and to my surprise didn't fall or break my ankle. I smile up at the handsome blonde. "I, ugh, need some help actually," I said in a shaky voice. He moved aside and with a kind gesture, his arm sweeps the room, my sign to enter. I ohh and ahh silently in my head at his beautifully decorated home. I guess my face gave me away because he asks," Do you like it? I didn't do all this. My wife did, but she's, umm…gone." He clears his throat and gestures for me to sit. Such a gentleman, I think. But I shouldn't be here doing this. I'm married and he's married...or was? I'm not sure, he sort of confused me. He sits and listens as I tell him everything. He nods at the right times and I can tell he's actually listening to me. That's something that hasn't happened in a long time, not since Edward and I became married. He only half listens if that.
"Well, Bella, that sounds quite serious. Do you mind if I take a look?" he asks in a half worried, half serious tone. "No, I don't mind. I should probably be leaving soon though," I say. Why did I tell him that? He says nothing and turns to leave as I undress. "I'm done," I call to him when I'm left in my socks, girls' boxer briefs, and a cami. He walks back in at a brisk pace. His eyes look me up and down, not in a disgusting manner but a serious one. I feel slightly embarrassed. His cool hands ghost over my shoulders. They slid down my arm and rest on my elbows. His thumbs rub away make-up. "Bella, what is this?" he asks, though, he clearly knows what it's there for.
I'm a little disappointed in Bella. It's not her fault, but she should have come sooner. We would have been able to stop this much sooner. I tell her that she needs to leave him as soon as possible and that it was the right thing to do to come see me, even if it was a bit delayed. I believe that it's better late than never. I grimaced at the thought of Bella being in a condition much more serious. Based on what I had seen today and from her first visit, also my last time seeing her, it seemed that Edward might actually kill her, whether on "accident" or on "purpose." I knew what he was capable of.
I notice a light crescent-shaped scar on her hand. "Bella, what's this?" I ask, trying to mask my worry. She frowns and says, "It wasn't Edward…if that's what you're thinking. There was an accident when I was seventeen, three years ago. Someone was after me but Edward stopped him." I believe her in all honesty. I took her hand and examined it more carefully. A gasp escapes my throat and I recognize the mark. "Bella, you were attacked by one of them…" choosing my words carefully. She nods and twirls around to the door. She runs out and I hear her slam her car door.
I was lost in thought. I wasn't sure if I was happy or not that I had stopped at Dr. Cullen's. He welcomed me in and understood my problems. He wanted me to flee from the hell I was in and so did I.
I must see Jacob. I needed someone to comfort me. Dr. Cullen did but he was standoffish, most likely because he had a wife or whatever. I spotted Jacob walking along side the road. I rolled down my window and yell, "Jake, hey, it's Bella!" He glanced over his shoulder and froze. He smiled and raced over to my car. "Bella, how are you? You never come see me. I thought Edward would have turned you by now." He seems a little too excited about that. I pull the car over and he hops in. I lean over and hug him. He embraces me and pulls away swiftly. "Sorry, Bella, you smell like him," he mumbles. I sigh and put the car in gear. We stop in front of his house. Billy is visible from my car and I wave. It looks like he was glaring at me, but for what? He waves back, though. Jake leads me inside and he plops on the sofa. He pats the seat next to him and I sit down.
I talk about my plan to leave Edward and he giggled. I punched him in the shoulder. Jeez, it felt like every bone in my hand turned to mush. The feeling in my hand went back to normal after a few minutes, with Jake laughing the whole time. "Sorry, Bella. You are just so funny. So, did you finally come to your senses and find a real man?" he says with cheerfulness and I knew he was referring to himself. I groan and say, "I'm not really sure, Jake, but I need to be going. I'll try to talk with you another time. Bye." He pulls me into a bone-crushing hug and his heat feels wonderful. I smile and pray that he doesn't notice.
I drive off and wave a final goodbye before his figure is no longer visible. I'll stop at Rosalie's for a bit. I haven't talked with her in forever. I press the buzzer for her apartment. "Hello?" "Rose, it's Bella. You mind if I come up?" I ask. There is a hesitation. "No. It's fine." Bzzt. The door clicks and I rush up the stairs to the top of the building. I didn't even get a chance to knock before the door swings open. "Bella, hey," she greets. I smile but it suddenly fades. I see him, sitting on her couch. She steps aside to let me in.
He turns his head and his eyes turn to slits for a few seconds, but only I notice. His face is contorted into a fake smile. "Hello, sweetie. I was visiting with Rosalie and Emmett. Whatever are you doing here, love?" he asks with bogus joy. Emmett walks into the living room and joins Rosalie, who moved to the loveseat. They watch TV while Edward continues staring me down. "I-I was, ugh, coming over to talk with Rosalie," I stuttered. "I see," he shakes his head, "Well, we best be going. I have things I need to take care of." He rises up quickly, says his farewells, and is stalking his way towards me. He hisses in my ear, just loud enough for me to hear, "Bella, get moving! Now! You wouldn't want to have another at-home incident, would you?" I shudder and unwillingly take his hand.
I went downstairs to get breakfast. He was blocking the path to the fridge. His figure lingered above mine, his breath cool in my face. "Bella, Bella, Bella. You know I need to keep track of you. Yesterday, I told you to stay home. And you know what you did? You deliberately disobeyed my wishes and went to see Jacob. You know how I feel about him," he jeered, "And now I must discipline you, teach you." How could he know everything? I knew I would hate today.
He pulled on my hand, towing me along. He opened the bedroom door and sat me on the bed. "You know what I felt like last night? I felt lonely without you," he mused, "Isn't that odd?" His grip on me emancipated, letting the circulation return.
I recalled the events of yesterday. I left the house around 7:00pm and Edward still wasn't back. I guess I had lost track of time and didn't get back till nearly 11:00pm. He was in the living room, not really watching the TV. He looked over his shoulder and glared at me. "Welcome home, Bella," he hissed. I went upstairs and got ready for bed. He never came in our bedroom and I regretted what my mistakes would bring.
"Instead of being a good girl and coming home to me, I find out that you went to see Jacob. How do you think that makes me feel?" his voice acidic. "I-I, ugh, not good," I wasn't sure what to say. "You're right…NOT GOOD," he roared, "It really pisses me off, in fact. You won't defy me again." "But-but you don't understand, I-," I was cut off. "No, you don't understand. I speak and you listen," he growled in a petulant tone. "Do NOT move one single inch. You are not to speak until I tell you," he commands. I try to keep as still and quiet as I can as his hands progress closer to my body. The craving he had for me was manifested in his features and in his posture.
He stroked my collarbone then his cool hands lightly graze the top of my chest. He continues fondling me through my shirt. My breath was becoming ragged and uneven. He chuckled darkly and said, "Steady yourself." My stomach heaved queasily as his cool hands unbuttoned my tit-fitted blouse. "Ugh," I mumbled in protest. "Silence." His face a scowl then turned hungry with desire. "Umm," he said as he drank me in.
The bile was clawing its way up. I swallowed the taste rising in my throat. His palms caressed my breasts for some time until I couldn't hold back the tears anymore. A sob broke out and I tried hard to keep it under control. Nothing went unnoticed. His eyes burned into mine. "Bella, why are you incapable of following directions? Take your skirt off and turn around."
I was terrified of what was to befall me. I was frozen in my spot, unable to move. Unfortunately, the swipe of his hand on my face motivated me. I yanked my skirt off and glanced at him. "Panties, too," he added. I slowly took them off and faced the bed. His hands spread my thighs apart slightly. I could feel the too familiar hardness on the back of my thigh. "Don't move, understand?" he asked cynically. I nod, not sure if I'm still supposed to be silent.
I heard a chair being drug across the hardwood floor in my office. The sound of the chair being dragged was almost camouflaged against the carpeted floor in our bedroom. What was he doing? Then I heard it…the distinctive sound of a zipper. My eyes that had been closed during most of this experience snapped open. I made a feeble attempt to peek through my hair and looked at him. I couldn't see the lower half of his body but thought that his one shoulder was rising and falling occasionally. I knew what he was doing. Yuck! He was watching me, subjugated completely to his demands, and was getting himself off…
He moaned my name several times. He finished up and bent down near my ear. His voice was heavy with a poisonous seduction, "You look so beautiful and perfect, all spread for me," and then his voice turned angry, "See what I have to stoop to when you're not here? It's rather pathetic. That's what I have you for…to please me." I nodded again and whispered "sorry." Crap, I didn't mean for that to slip out. He remained silent. I heard the sound before I felt the pain. My butt was stinging. It could've been worse, I told myself. He slammed the door shut so hard it made the walls shake. I certainly learned my lesson that day.
I float back to reality, even though I don't want to. "Bye, guys," is all I get out before he slams the door. I suddenly realize that I don't love him anymore. Lies don't hide the flaws. He can't fake the truth. I'm finished.
He walks me over to the car. "Drive home," he commands. I do as he says and start the car. The engine rips to life and I tear down the street. I unlock the door with my key. I gasp and see the house is tore apart, every inch ripped up. I step back and knock into something…Edward. His hands grip my shoulders and he turns my body to face him. I look down at the floor, not wanting to see his face. With one fluid motion, my chin is cupped in his hand and his eyes are burning into mine. "Bella, that was irresponsible, leaving like that. You know that it is infuriating. Do you see what you made me do? Are you ready for your punishment?" he asks with resentment and loathing. I shake my head, "no".
"This isn't just about you anymore. You're not the center of the universe, you know," I shouted with skeptical courage I didn't know I possessed. He scowls. With a swift fluid motion, one hand is around my throat. My feet are dangling in the air. My eyes are level with his charcoal ones. His body is shaking with fury and rage. His voice growls one word, "bitch" before he slams me against the wall. My left shoulder cracked on the edge of the window sill and a crimson liquid crudely flows from my gash. Before I slip into unconsciousness, I see Edward's figure towering over my crumpled body and a sly smile crossing his face. He dips down and his face is inches from mine. I pray for the best as I enter the oblivion.
I run over to Bella's house. Her car is the only one there, so I decide its okay. I'm not completely positive though. I can detect a hint of a vampire's sweet scent. I knock and wait…no answer. I twist the handle and the door opens much to my surprise. "Hey, Bells! You forgot your-" I stop midsentence. I am frozen in my spot, tremors rumbling throughout my body.
Oh my God! No, please, not her, my mind screams. Bella is screaming, her back resting against the wall. I growl and hurl Edward off of her body. Her blood is dripping from his venomous teeth. She's shrieking about fire and burning. I don't know what the hell to do! Edward is flinging himself towards me but at the same instance I become something that was meant to destroy him. Bella's eyes that have been closed the whole time open for a second and her eyes are filled with gratefulness. I aim my paws for his throat, his liquid eyes glowing red. He snarls and bites down hard on my hind leg. I howl in pain and feel the poison tingling through my body slightly.
In my mind, I say, "Leah, Seth…I could use a hand, ugh, paw…whatever. I'm over at Bella's. There's a problem." I flash several images of the area, trying to give some direction. I hear Seth first, "No problem. I'll be there soon." Leah sounds angry but says, "Okay. I'm on my way." Leah rushes in and pounces on Edward. I bite down on his arm and hear cracking sounds. Seth is there. I command him to help Leah while I get Bella to Dr. Cullen. I knew what Dr. Cullen was from the very beginning, but he changed himself for the better. Instead of for the worse, which unfortunately for Bella is the way Edward went. I convert back and pick up Bella in my arms. I ignore Edward's protesting shrieks as I hear Leah and Seth finish him off for good.
I carry Bella the whole way to the hospital, running at full speed. I'm not out of breath but decide to make it look like I am. I kick the door in with my foot and walk up to the receptionist-type lady. She shoves paperwork near my face. "I don't have time for paperwork! Where's the hell is Dr. Cullen?" I yell. She looks shocked but says nothing, still nudging the papers towards me. He must have heard my outburst. He walks out into the lobby and I slid Bella into his arms. He shuffles back to his office and lays Bella in hospital bed. "There," I say, pointing at the half moon shape on her shoulder. He stares at it, bewildered, then says thank you. I desert the room and sit down in the hard plastic chair in the hall.
I recall feeling my body being lifted up. The person had shifted their weight, trying to adjust to the burden, me as usual. I remember Edward leaping onto me, the burning, and several conversations of gibberish. I think it was between two males and me, about my condition. I felt the warmth leaving my body then coolness on my arms.
That brings me to now. I wake up in a bright, white room…a hospital room. I always disliked these rooms with a passion, but seeing a certain someone made it better. Dr. Cullen was hovering over me, observing me, a smile spreading across his face slowly. I flinched away, unintentionally, out of habit. "I didn't think you would make it, Bella," his voice astounded. His hand is clutching mine gently. "S-Sorry. What happened?" I asked, not really sure I wanted to know. "Well, lucky for you, your friend, Jacob, got you here just in time…any later and I don't think I could have saved you…" his words took a while to sink in.
"Oh. Umm, what did you do?" I asked. He coughed and said, "I had to suck the venom out. It wasn't too difficult, though." "Don't you think my blood is tempting? Edward seems to think so," I wondered. His smile broadened and he laughs. I glare at him playfully. "It appears so. Yes, it is. Why did you want to know?" He says, amusement remaining in his tone. "Just curious," I say, flustered. "I see," he says, nodding his head, "are you sure you don't find me attractive?" My eyes widen and my cheeks turn a deep pink. I have him going again. His laughter makes me happy. I gather some courage and nod. He suddenly halts and looks serious. "Bella," he whispers. "I'm sorry. I forgot you had a wife," I choke out. "No, no. It's okay," he said, "I said she was gone…for good. Remember?" He doesn't wait for an answer and continues, "You see, last fall, Esme, my wife, got pregnant and during birth she, umm, passed away and unfortunately, our child didn't make it either. I tried so hard to get over it. But I know they aren't coming back. They're in a much better place now." I shook my head slowly, comprehending his words.
When she was flirting with me, I found myself liking it. I don't think I should. I do though. She needs someone to protect her, a safe harbor. I yearn to be that someone. Everything about her drew me in…her beauty, her scent, and her personality. She didn't even have to try. It just happened. I struggled to stay away. Over and over, I fell for her and hid it away. I was dead without her. She's my other half…I feel a twinge of guilt. What would Esme think if she could see me now? I ignore it. She would want me to be happy.
I look over her wounds again and conclude that everything is in order. I also happen to come across several bruises on her neck…love bites. Time will heal the physical things, but the emotional things will definitely take longer to heal. A lot longer. I was concerned about her wellbeing to be truthful. I looked the file I had scrawled when she arrived last night. It read: Patient suffers from multiple contusions, lacerations, and burns. Could have possible concussion. In violent relationship…signs of physical violence, emotional abuse, and several indications of sexual abuse. Several more things were written. I didn't want to ponder on what had happened to her. She was done with this past. I wanted to start a new future…with Bella.
"I guess we should get you out of here," I suggest. "I can't go back there," she cries. "It's alright, I understand. You can stay at my house for tonight, if you don't mind," I say. Her face brightens, "Yes, that'd be fine." "Okay, then. Let's go," I state, pulling on her arm.
Jacob is sleeping in the chair out in the hallway. I nudge his shoulder. He stirs. "Jacob, thank you for your assistance. Bella is much better now," I declare. He nods and stands up. They have some form of whispering conversation that seems to be private. Then he hugs Bella and bolts from the hospital. I'm in his debt now since he saved Bella.
Bella climbs into the car and sits in the passenger seat. I start the car, engine purring. I pull out of the parking lot and head towards my house. I notice her hands are gripping the sides of the seat. "Bella, we're fine. Nothing is going to happen, okay?" I assure her. Her hands slowly let go. "I'm sorry. It's just, I-" she trails off, "I'm glad that you don't drive like a maniac." I smile over at her and avert my eyes away from her and back to the road. I park in front of the house and open the car door for her. I unlock the door and she follows me inside.
She isn't as surprised as last time but I can read some shock on her face. I take her hand in mine and lean down. I kiss the hair close to her ear and whisper, "I love you, Bella…more than you could ever know." She kisses the tip of my nose and says, "I love you too." I strike a match and start a fire, the flame flickering. It cast shadows on Bella's face. She looked beautiful. I sit on the sofa in front of the fireplace. She curls up next to me and rests her head on my chest. I involuntarily stroke her hair. Her heartbeat increases its pace. I chuckle lightly; just the fact that I have that effect on her is astounding. It's amazing that such simple things can affect a person. The speed lowers slowly and I look down at her. Her chest rises evenly and her eyelids are closed. I bolt upstairs and grab a blanket. I throw it over her and it sheathes her body in warmth. I kiss her on her head and march upstairs into my office.
That night seemed like so long ago. Bella and I have been together for some time now. I think it's time to go all the way. I make a several calls while Bella's still sleeping. Finally, I get someone willing to let me rent a luxury yacht for the two of us for a week. I hired people to attend to her every whim. She liked the attention I showered her with. We had a splendid time. We went scuba-diving, saw majestic underwater sights, and danced those nights away.
We were cautious though. I told her we weren't doing anything sexual until we were married. She was fine with that.
On the last night of having the yacht, I knocked on the door to her room. She answered and I nearly collapsed. She was sporting a navy blue dress with a cut that accented her curves. It showed a little cleavage but not too much. After I could form words again, I asked her to follow me. We went on the top deck of the yacht. "Bella, I need to ask you something." "Yes?" "Well, first I'd like to get us a drink. Do you prefer red or white wine?" "Umm, I don't drink. I guess red though." I signal for the drink. The guy brings out a bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon and two wine glasses then places it on the table behind us. (AN: I don't drink wine, so if that's wrong…too bad) I turn towards the table, my back to her. I pop the cork off and pour Bella a glass. I hand her the glass.I clear my throat and get down on one knee. "Isabella Marie Masen, will you marry me?" Her hands are shaking. "Are you alright?" I ask with worry. She nods and her eyes are filled with tears. She goes to take a drink and stops. She smiles at me and sees the ring in her glass. I fish it out of her cup, clean it up, and place it on her finger. "Perfect fit. Yes, I will," she pulled me up and hugged me. I tilt her chin up and lock her into a fierce kiss. "Goodnight, tiger," she teases. I follow her to her room and kiss her on the forehead. "Night. Love you, Bella." "I love you too, Carlisle."
I remember the night of our engagement. That was about two months ago. I know that we're moving fast but I love Carlisle. Today was the day of our wedding. I was going to be Mrs. Carlisle Cullen. That sounded much better than Isabella Masen.
The wedding doesn't start for a few hours. I'm lounging around in sweats. Alice is making sure everything is in order. I don't know why but she wanted to be in charge of everything. I wasn't about to stop that silly little pixie. Carlisle didn't mind either. Emmett and Jasper are helping Carlisle get ready. The only thing he has to do is get his tux on and know his vows. I'm about ready to shoot someone. Alice is not only getting everything together but doing my make-up. Rosalie is fixing my hair. Anyways, I am going crazy with anticipation. I can't believe I'm getting married again…wow.
The church was filled with just about everyone in Forks. Renee and Phil spot me and wave. I waved back. I haven't seen or heard from them in forever. Edward didn't allow contact to anyone, not even my own mother. Renee looks ecstatic and I rush to her. "Bella! Oh, I—we've missed you so much. So you and Edward aren't together anymore?" I'm surprised she would even ask that. I told everyone that Edward abandoned me. They believed it, only one knew the real story.
Nonetheless, I say, "No, mom, we're not. Carlisle and I are together now." I turn my attention to Phil and ask, "How's the whole baseball thing working out?" He grins and says it's going well. Renee can't seem to leave well enough alone and continues to pester me. "So, how old is this Carlisle guy? And why haven't we met him before? What does he do? How long have you known each other?" I shake my head disapprovingly and mumble, "Well, he's 23. That's only a three year age difference. He's a doctor and I love him very much. You haven't met him because I don't have any time, okay? And we've known each other for some time, but he helped me after Edward, ugh, left." "Aww, that's so sweet. Well, we'll let you get back to whatever you were doing, sweetie." She embraced me and went to sit in the pews.
I sighed then laughed. I headed to the dressing room, where a cruel fate met me. Alice caked my face with make-up and Rosalie pulled my hair up and pinned it on top of my head. The loose strands of hair were curled. Both of them had to help me into my dress. Alice zipped up the back. Rosalie left to find Emmett. Alice looked me over like a piece of art. "Very good," she chirped. I smiled. She hugged me and mouthed "good luck" before closing the door behind her. I examined myself in the mirror before me. My face was an even paler shade than normal. Was that even possible? I guess it was. My lips were coated with a dark red color with a shiny gloss tint. My eyelids were covered in a silvery shimmering color. I suppose that I looked pretty. There was a knock on the door. "It's starting, Isabella." It sounded like a male's voice, one that I had tried to overlook.
The familiar wedding tune played and Charlie suddenly appeared on my arm. "Bella, you look good. Real nice." I could tell he was having difficulties. "Thanks, Char—Dad." He smiles at me then continues looking ahead of him. He leaves my side and there before me was an angel. He beams at me and takes my hands in his. We repeat the vows after the preacher. Finally the words come, "You may now kiss the bride." He is lost in my eyes for some time then his face gets closer. The gap is closed and our lips meet. I see Renee out of the corner of my eye. She is grinning but she's not the only one. I think everyone is. Now onto the reception.
We drive to the marvelous reception area set up. I gasp and see Alice. A smug grin is on her face and I don't blame her. It's beautiful. Candle light bounces off the crystal chandeliers hanging from the cathedral ceilings. The table set for us is amazing as well. Delicious looking food is there. I'm too excited to eat though. I just want to be with Carlisle. I think he does too. He looks rather anxious.
After the best man, Jasper, gives a speech, Carlisle takes my hand. He leads me to the dance floor and places his other hand in mine. 'All Along' by Blessid Union of Souls plays as we sway around. I smile at him and he gives a genuine smile back. I'm lost in his eyes until a finger taps me on the shoulder. It's Jacob. "Hi, Jake," I say. "Hey, you mind if I get a dance?" he asks. "No, it's fine." Although, I'd much rather spend the whole night with Carlisle.
We dance and I look over his shoulder, scoping the room for Carlisle. My eyes rest on someone I thought I would never see again. How could this happen? He should be gone. Carlisle made all the bad memories fade. Why now? His icy red eyes pierce mine. His arms are folded in front of him. The corners of his perfect lips curl into an arrogant smirk. Why isn't anyone else seeing this? No one is paying attention to him. They're all engrossed in conversations or are eating. He lifts one hand slightly and waves. I gasp and pull away from Jacob. "What's the matter? Are you ok?" his face worried. "I need some fresh air is all. Sorry," my voice flustered.
I rush outside and gulp in the night air. Stars litter the inky black sky. A hand grabs my wrist, not tight though. "Why did you leave? Did I do something wrong?" the velvet voice asks. "N-No. It wasn't you…it was me. I saw him. He won't leave, even when you're with me." I stammer. "Bella, honey, you could never do anything wrong. And who in the world are you talking about?" "Ed-Edward," I whimper then burst into tears. "Isabella Cullen, you know I would never let anything happen to you. He's gone and you know it. Your mind is messing with you." His arms wrap around me and I burrow my head under his chin. "I know you wouldn't. Let's go home. I want to be with you," my voice is muffled but he understands. We head back inside. I find Renee, Phil, and Charlie and say my goodbyes to them. "Hope everyone had a good time," I shout before we leave.
I hop on his back and he runs with me to the car. He opens the car door and carefully places me inside. The door closes and he hops into the driver's seat. We drive for hours and I wonder where we're going. I'm sure it's somewhere wonderful. I fall asleep and feel a hand shake me awake. "Bella, we're here," Carlisle's velvet voice says. "Oh," I gasp in awe as I gaze at the sight in front of me. Somehow he'd manage to get me on a plane or something.
I'm pretty sure we're on an island. Sandy beaches lay before us, waves crash behind us, and a gorgeous house waits for us. "I guessing you like it then," he chuckles. "Like it? I love it! Where are we?" I stammer happily. "An island, I got it for you. It's your island for our honeymoon," he explains. He wasn't expecting it but I pounce on him and we crash to the sandy ground. I kiss him fiercely. He laughs and says, "Wouldn't you rather go inside to do this? It's much more comfortable. Believe me."
I get up and so does he. He brushes himself off and carries my bridal-style, how appropriate, to the door and into the bedroom. He drops me onto the bed and he's right. This is much better.
His hands wind around my back and unzip the huge, puffy dress. He slips it off carefully and I kick it off. He yanks my shoes and stands in front of me. I take this as my chance to undress him. I rip off his tux jacket and am half-way through unbuttoning his crisp dress shirt. He waits patiently for me to finish. We had all the time in the world. I struggle to get his pants off so he helps me there. He climbs into the bed with me and we make love. It's the best kind of love, real love…true love. (AN: If you wanted details, sorry!)
I wake up and for a minute, I forgot where I was. The scent of food filled the air. I hadn't realized how hungry I was until now. My stomach grumbled and I was lifted up by the aromas of food being made. The clock hanging on the wall said it was a little after 6:40. The sun would be rising soon. I entered the kitchen and found Carlisle making breakfast, bacon and pancakes. Yes, I loved artery-clogging food! He glanced at me and there were purplish bruises under his charcoal-colored eyes. "Good morning. Did you sleep well?" he asked. "Yes. That smells delicious," I commented.
"Thanks. I have some business to take care of this morning, but you probably knew that," he said. "That's fine," was all I said as a platter of food was set in front of me. He ruffled my hair and laughed, "I like the bed head look on you." He fled from the room, leaving me alone. I devoured the food and it was a heavenly taste. I got up and took the rest. I finished all of it and immediately felt guilty. I was being such a hog. I slinked back to the sofa and took a nap. When I woke up, he was sitting in a chair, reading away. "What are you reading?" I asked curiously. "I was reading some of Shakespeare's work." He got up and offered his hand. "I have something I want to show you." I placed my hand in his and he pulled me up. We strolled out the back door.
I kneel down and tell her to hop on my back. She wrapped her arms around my throat. Everything looks quite breath-taking this morning. Dew clung to the clumps of plants that were spread along the island, sunlight was just peeking through the tropical forest behind the house, a light mist hung in the air…but she can't see that as I'm running. Her head is down and she is taking deep breaths. Even if she was looking, it would be a blur. I want to share my world with her. I set her down.
She gasps and grins at me. A small waterfall is babbling behind us throwing its mist. A breeze blows her hair wildly around. She advances toward me. "It's so wonderful," she murmurs, "Thank you." "You don't need to thank me," I say, sweeping her into my arms. A tangy aroma fill my nostrils…I grasp that it her after a moment. I set her back down. "Bella, can I ask you something?" "Sure, you can," she says. "Well, I've been wondering…do you want to be with me as a vampire?" I ask. She is silent, thinking it over, I suppose. "Yes, I've wanted that for a long time—," she stops talking and her lips find mine. Her hands tangle in my hair. My arms wind around her and settle at her hips. She pulls away, catching her breath. I lie on the sand and gaze at the orange colored sky. She lays next to me and her fingers lace into mine. I turn on my side and touch her cheek. I can almost feel the blush that is making its way on her face. She practically straddles me and leans near my face. "Take me," is all she says. "Not here, Bella." I explain. We head back to the house.
"Are you sure about this?" I ask. "About as sure as I'll ever be," she huffs. I sigh and search for the pulse at her throat. It's erratic again. "Calm down." "I can't."
I wait and after a short while, the atmosphere is tranquil, the throbbing of her pulse normal. I lower my head and my lips lingered above her neck. "Is something wrong?" "I can't do this. It isn't right, taking your life like this." "It's ok, Carlisle. We'll try another time." She sounds disappointed but understanding.
I think Carlisle is mad at himself. I don't know why. He's so perfect. Maybe, he's mad because he couldn't change me. I know he wants to but he's afraid to take my life. He already has it though. All of me is his. I sit on the couch and think about Carlisle…his perfect face with his caramel colored eyes, his smooth caring voice, and his loving personality. I miss him. After spending a couple weeks on the island, we moved back to his house.
Speak of an angel and he will appear. The door opens and in walks Carlisle. "Bella," he says. I get off the sofa and he kisses my throat. "I missed you," I tell him. "As did I." I'm truly in love. Carlisle makes me feel special like I'm more than just a person. I like it when he smiles. It actually reaches his eyes, leaving small creases at his eyes. I love the way he makes me feel.
"I need to talk with you…well, you see, I'm pregnant." I blurt out. His content face became expressionless. "What? When did this happen?" he asks, his voice a monotone. "I'm not exactly sure but I know it's ours." His face becomes happy again and he exclaims, "That's wonderful news." He looks at my finger and the wedding ring twinkles as a ray of sunshine bounces off of it. "You're planning on keeping it then?" "It is a baby, not an 'it.' And yes, I do intend to. Can you see it, me and you, with a baby? It will be wonderful," I cried. "It will. But Bella, I think I had better change you soon. Legend has it that women often die during these situations and I couldn't face myself if that were to happen." (AN: Yeah, they need a baby)
It's been nearly a month since I told him. He looks me over daily and makes sure everything is running smoothly. I'm glad that he cares so much. My contractions are getting stronger and it seems that our nudger is quite strong. Awhile ago, Carlisle told I might have a few broken ribs. Oh, my water just broke. "Carlisle," I shout. He rushes upstairs. "Bella, I'm here. Don't worry," his voice is soothing. He wipes sweat off my forehead and sits on the edge of the bed. "Are you ready?" he asks. "I think so," I pant, the pain in my abdomen getting worse. His face lowers to my neck and he bites. The venom flows through my veins, a tingly sensation at first then a horrific burning. "Bella? Bella?" his voice sounds distorted. "You'll make it." I'm becoming unaware of what's happening. His cold hands are on my face then it's nothing but fire. It won't stop. I drift out of my safe little world and give in to the temptation letting the fire consume knowing there's no other way out.
I'm frightened for Bella and for our baby. I had to save Bella or the baby would kill her. The venom felt like hell inside her body, I'm sure…I remember that ghastly feeling. The baby's birth went pretty smoothly except for the way it came out. I didn't know if our baby was a girl or a boy. Bella thought it was a boy. I smiled at the beautiful creature in my arms. She was right…it was a boy. She was still semi-conscious. "Carlisle…he's Landyn Milo Cullen," she mumbled. (AN: Yes, it's odd)I kissed her on her forehead and felt useless, knowing there was nothing I could do to help.
Our little hybrid was hungry. Good thing I'm a doctor, I thought. I carried our son downstairs and set him in the yellow bassinet Bella picked out. I mixed up the appropriate formula then I picked him up and placed the bottle in his mouth. He devoured every drop and I patted him on the back. He hiccupped and puked all over my back. Eww, that was repulsive but I would have to get used to it. I went back upstairs, peeked in at Bella, and then grabbed a new shirt.
I changed his diaper and we watched some TV. I flipped through several channels and his tiny hand touched my cheek. I let out a strangled gasp. He showed me memories of Bella and me together. How could he know that? I was shocked…our child was a blessing, a miracle, and was so unique. He could show me memories I stored in my head. I smiled and squeezed him gently. We watched Sesame Street. I wasn't sure if he really watched it but I had to try. Thirst was scratching my throat again. I couldn't be hungry now, not around him. What was I to do with him? There was always Bella's friend, Rosalie…maybe Jacob. No, he didn't need to be bothered with this. Rosalie was the right person. Bella had told me that she wanted a child but couldn't have one. I met her a few times and she seemed like a decent enough person.
I didn't bother with the buzzer. The lock gave way to the force I asserted. I knocked on the door. "Coming," a chipper voice said. Rosalie answered. "Well, this is a surprise. How are you, Dr. Cullen?" "Fine. Can I ask for a favor?" "Sure…oh, and who is this little darling?" she cooed, noticing the small baby in my arms. "Well…he's actually mine." She looked as if I tasered her but she recovered her composure quickly. "Hmm, that's quite surprising." She moved out of the way to let us in.
"Well, do you mind keeping an eye on Landyn? I feed him about a half hour ago. He just got changed and should be okay for awhile," I said. "No. I'll watch him. Landyn…that's different. Anyways, sure. He's such a cutie," she chirped. I carefully placed the baby in her arms and set down the diaper bag. "Diapers are in this pocket, wipes in this one, formula and bottles are in here," I explained, pointing to several compartments. "I think I can handle one little baby, Carlisle," she said good-naturedly. "Thanks," I called over my shoulder.
I flew through the woods, tree branches snapping under my weight as I bounced on them. I lifted my head and inhaled. Deer, about a ½ mile away to the North East. There were two fawn, three doe, and one large buck. I lunged for the buck first. It didn't satisfy me enough though. I finished off the other deer and felt pleased.
I bolted back to the house and up the stairs. Bella was still lying in the same spot where I had left her. Her heart beats were getting fainter. I listened to each one, as if they were melodies. The blood was leaving her cheeks. I frowned, knowing I could never see her blush again. It was okay. I would get to spend my days with the two people that I loved. I ran back to Rosalie's to get Landyn. He was asleep in her arms. "Wow, did you even put him down?" I asked curiously. "No…well, other than to change him," she sounded honest. I laughed and extended my arms out. She placed the wrapped up baby in them. She handed me the diaper bag and I slung it on my shoulder. "Thanks. We'll come see you when Bella is feeling better," I told her. "Okay. I had a lot of fun with him. See you soon," she said, closing the door behind us.
I opened up the car door and strapped his carrier in. I went around the car and got in. I drove slowly and parked the car. I got his seat out and carried him in. I unbuckled him and set him in his bassinet. I fed him another bottle and his eyes looked heavy. He fell asleep and I wiped his chin off. I forgot to change him! I very carefully pulled off his pants then unbuttoned his onesie. I put on a fresh diaper and tossed the soiled one away. I peeked in at Bella. She would awake soon. I walked into my office and got to work. I planned on doing research on hybrids and if there were others like Landyn.
I continued working until I heard a rustling sound coming from the bedroom. I rose up from my chair and walked into the hallway. I listened for a minute then entered the room. Bella was sitting up in bed. Her head whipped around and she stared at me. Her lips turned upward into a dazzling smile and she said, "Carlisle." She looked baffled at first and asked, "Is that really my voice?" I nodded and looked into her eyes. They were a crimson color. "How do you feel, other than hungry?" I ask. "Well, I'm stunned. I wasn't expecting to look beautiful for once," she said. I shake my head and tell her, "Bella, you've always been beautiful. Don't let people tell you otherwise. Let's go get you something to eat, hmm?" She hops off the bed and asks, "Where's Landyn? Is he ok?" "Yes, sweetie. He's fine. He's still sleeping," I say. I was glad he was still asleep. He awoke several times during the night and fussed. He eventually gave in and dozed off.
We head into the baby's room. It's painted a sunny yellow color. His crib is lined with white and blue checkered blankets with yellow, red, and green cars on it. The curtain is similar and on the walls are pictures on childlike cars and trucks in several colors. On the red dresser sits a green lamp with a red fire truck on it. "Aww, you finished it. Thank you," I tell Carlisle. I wrap my arms around him and he hugs back. "When you can't sleep, you get a lot done," he joked. I smile at him and peek in at the baby in the crib. I let out an audible gasp. Carlisle's hands are on my elbows, for Landyn's safety, I suppose. I would never hurt him though. He's so adorable. His hair is a curly mess that is a mix of both mine and Carlisle's in color. His skin is pale but I can see the color behind his cheeks. As I'm examining this gorgeous miracle, striking sky blue eyes looks up at me. Those eyes are alluring and must have been the same color as Carlisle's once were. (AN: I have no idea if they were)I smile at our little blessing and whisper, "Hello, angel." He seems well aware of the fact that I'm talking to him and a tiny smile-type thing plays across his face. If my heart was still beating, I would have died right there. He was incredible but before I could hold him, I needed to eat. Carlisle isn't sure if he should stay here or drop Landyn off at Rosalie's. "You stay here with him. I can handle this by myself." He smiles at me and embraces me. I fly out the window and land on the balls of my feet. I try to finish as quickly as I can.
I leap in through the open window. "You're back. He's awake." I take the little bundle in my arms and kiss him lightly on the cheek. A tiny hand touches my cheek. "He can do that?" I practically yell. "It surprised me too." We all go downstairs and sit on the couch. Carlisle places his arm behind my head. I lean into him and our baby starts to fuss. "I think he's hungry," Carlisle hints. I grab a bottle and place it in his mouth. He hushes and devours the contents.
Carlisle and I have been together for centuries, living our existence out together. Landyn is now grown up and is with another hybrid that Carlisle found. They have two children, a boy and a girl. They are also hybrids. He visits with his family every once in a while. Carlisle and I are satisfied with just the two of us alone. God must have planned from the very beginning for my life to become perfect in some way. Thank you, God!
Author's Notes: Thanks for reading it, especially my two reviewers who have been faithful all along. I don't plan on writing anymore about this story when I'm finished with this chapter so…yeah, I don't know. If you find mistakes, please tell me so I can fix it. R&R