I don't own Twilight, this is just a story I've had running through my head for months now. I know NOTHING about Seattle, just what I've read and looked up on Mapquest. This is my first fanfic so if you want to leave a review, you're more than welcome. Rated M in the summary, however, because of some of the LEMONS that will be featured in the story, I consider this to technically be rated MA--unfortunately, there is no MA rating when you upload a new story.
SO IF YOU ARE NOT OLD ENOUGH TO READ MATURE/NC-17 STORIES, PLEASE DO NOT CONTINUE. I'm not interested in getting in trouble because someone else can't follow the rules ;)
I have been forced to write a nice little A/N on this story. Parts of it were recently plagiarized and used in another person's fic. The story's been removed, and I've seriously debated on taking this down, but have opted to leave it up so that people can still read it. I know some people would be disappointed if it was gone and I can't see pissing a bunch of people off just because of one person.
So please, don't take my words. Use the concept, whatever, but make it your own. If there's a scene you want to use for you fic, PM me. I'll let you use it. Otherwise, remember plagiarism is theft...please be respectful to other authors and not steal their hard work.
As I approached the tiny red house, my heart sank in my chest. Oh, God. What am I doing here? I looked around and saw my old beat up Chevy parked behind me. Did I drive that? I was sure it was in the junkyard somewhere. I turned back to the house, slammed with old memories so strong, so painful, a sob escaped my throat.
"Hey, Bells. How're you doing?" a familiar voice asked.
I looked over towards the sound of the voice and felt my heart leaped into my throat. Jacob.
"Jacob?" My voice broke on his name.
I studied the familiar form beside me and realized my memory hadn't done him justice. He was taller than I'd remembered, his long black hair was tied back into his usual ponytail; his black eyes shining with amusement. His beautiful russet colored skin practically glowed in the overcast light. His lips curved into a wide smile, showing his ultra white teeth.
He leaned down and kissed my cheek, causing me to sigh. "It's good to see you, Bells."
"Jacob, what are you...How are you..." My mouth couldn't form the questions that were racing through my mind.
He laughed as he took my hand. "It's okay, Bella, relax." He turned back to the house and sighed. "I really miss this place."
I turned to look at the house with him. "You know, I haven't been able to come back here since..." My voice trailed off. I willed the memory out of my head.
"Yeah, I know. You haven't been able to do a lot of things since." I looked at him quizzically. How did he know?
I turned back to the house, unwilling to answer him. Suddenly, the view shifted. The tiny red house that held all those unwelcome memories disappeared, a slightly larger house in its place. My brows furrowed as I took in this unfamiliar house now in front of me. It was white, with aluminum siding, and had a small, freshly painted white porch with a wooden swing, welcoming all who came. Jacob took my hand and led me up the steps to the front door. We paused before going in, reading the sign that was nailed to the left of the door.
"The Blacks?" I said, looking at Jacob for the answer. "Jacob, where are we?"
He merely smiled. "You'll see."
We walked through the door and into a small, sage green living room with tan carpeting. Though it was tidy, it was obvious a family with a young child lived here. As I looked at all the toys surrounding me, I heard a child's tinkling laughter. I turned, just as a little girl with russet skin and long black hair came streaking through the room.
"Emma, come back here!" I immediately recognized the voice calling the little girl.
I looked at Jacob. "Jake, I can't do this. Why are you doing this? Please, take me back," I pleaded.
"Shh. Just wait a minute."
I looked back at the scene unfolding before me to see myself appear at the doorway leading into the living room from the kitchen. I gasped at my appearance. My face looked the same, yet different. My chocolate brown eyes sparkled with life. My long, brown hair was tied back into a ponytail. I was wearing a white t-shirt with an unfamiliar logo and navy sweatpants. I watched as my hand fluttered down to rest on my swollen belly.
"Oh, God, oh, God," I muttered to myself. I could feel my heart crack in my chest.
"Emma, come on. It's time for your bath. Don't you want to be ready for Daddy to tuck you in when he gets home?"
"No, wanna pway, Mama," the little girl sang as she walked over to her mother, hugging her leg.
Just then, the door opened, Jacob's voice booming. "Hey, guys! How're my girls?"
The little girl ran to her father squealing. "Daddy's home, Daddy's home!"
Jacob picked her up and tossed her in the air before hugging her to his chest. "I missed you Emmy," he said smiling.
Still holding the little girl, he walked over to where my figure was still standing and pressed a gentle kiss to my lips as his free hand moved to my belly.
"How are you two doing today?" he murmured.
I looked back at Jacob, tears in my eyes. "Please," I pleaded again. "Please, I can't take this."
He looked down at me, his black eyes fierce. "You can still have this you know."
"How? You're gone." My heart shattered at the admission.
"Look," he said, pointing back to the family in front of us.
As the scene changed, I noticed we were no longer standing in the green living room. The room around me transformed into a khaki color, much larger than the previous room, with beautiful, polished hardwood floors. A black baby grand piano sat in the corner in front of a row of windows. Everything about this room screamed money from the furnishings to the paintings on the walls. I took in the room around me and noticed that though this room was spotless, a family lived here as well.
I looked back to where Jacob and I had stood to find myself still standing there, unchanged. I was still in the same t-shirt and sweatpants, my hand pressed to my swollen belly. I looked to where Jacob had been standing with the little girl and saw they were gone. I struggled to focus on the man who stood in his place.
"Jacob, why is he blurry?"
"He's only blurry to you." I looked up at him, unable to comprehend what that meant. "I can see him clearly," he clarified.
"But...why can't I?"
"You're not ready," he said simply.
I looked back at the scene before me in confusion. The little girl was in the blurred man's arms, her arms around his neck. As she looked over at me, I gasped. She was stunning, with the most incredibly unusual hair--almost bronze in color--with shimmering curls bouncing past her shoulders. Her brown eyes, my eyes, twinkled as she watched me. Her mouth curved into a smile when she saw me looking at her and laughed.
"Hi, Mama," she said, waving at me.
I hesitantly waved back at the little girl, feeling a tear run down my cheek. My head was spinning, my heart reeling with the possibility of the man and this child.
My child, our child, I thought, feeling as though my heart would explode with joy.
Jacob's large hand wiped my tear away. "Bella," he said seriously. I turned back to him and smiled tentatively. "You need to let me go."
My breath hitched. "I don't know how," I said, tears streaming down my face.
"Yes, you do. Just know, I'll always love you," he said, leaning down and brushing his lips against mine. "Bye, Bells," he whispered.
"No!" I cried softly, sobbing into my hands as the only one I'd ever loved disappeared, taking everything with him.
As I struggled to take in my surroundings, I heard a familiar beeping. I looked over, finding the source of the beeping. The alarm clock. I punched at it to turn it off, fueled with anger now that the blissful scene Jacob had shown me was gone. My heart was pounding out of my chest and I inhaled deeply, trying to calm it.
Just a dream. The realization cut me like a knife. I took in the familiar pale blue walls of my bedroom, I was pummeled with a sense of loss so strong, I had to choke back a sob.
I'd been in love, or so I'd thought. But the feelings coursing through me were unlike anything I'd ever felt in all my twenty-five years. I loved Jacob Black with everything I had. Yet I couldn't escape the feeling that I felt in the dream. Was that what love really was? If so, what did that make what I felt for Jacob? I had never known anything so strong, so powerful as this.
My cell phone buzzed on the nightstand interrupting my thoughts. Checking the caller ID, I smiled. Alice. My outrageously intuitive best friend.
"Hello?" I answered, my voice still thick with sleep.
"Bella? Bella, are you okay? I woke up feeling like something was wrong with you," Alice chirped in my ear so fast I had to concentrate to make sense of it all.
"Alice, I'm fine. Just had a dream, that's all," I replied, trying my best to calm her.
"A bad dream?" Leave it to Alice to start the interrogation at 6 am.
"No, not bad exactly..." I wasn't sure how to describe the feeling it had left me with.
"What do you mean?" Obviously, I was going to have to try.
I relayed the dream to her and tried to express my feelings when I awoke, the love that was radiating from the blurred man, and how real it had all seemed.
"See Bella, I told you that you needed to date more," Alice chided in her high soprano. Always the matchmaker. "I've always told you Jacob would want you to move on, live your life."
"Ah, Alice!" I groaned, "I don't want to date. It's too hard."
I could only count the times I'd been on a date on one hand, never feeling anything for them to go further. And the one I felt something for unwillingly shattered my heart.
"You'll see. This is your subconscious telling you you're ready. And you are going to date. Whether you like it or not." Wonderful. She wasn't going to give up. "Bella, you need to at least try. Anyway, Jasper and I will be by later and we can have dinner and hang out."
There was no getting around it. "All right, I'll see you later then. Bye" And with that, I snapped the phone shut and started to get ready for work.
Rushing into the door to my apartment when I arrived home from work, I nearly fell and crashed my head into the doorknob as I stumbled over the threshold. My debilitating clumsiness left me with a constant barrage of new scrapes, cuts, and bruises. Not to mention the occasional broken bone, sprained joint, and concussion. As a child I wished constantly that it was something I would grow out of. On my eighteenth birthday, I finally gave up and realized it was here to stay.
I bent down to pick up the groceries I'd spilled when I tripped and heard a warm, southern drawl.
"Hey, Bella, you need any help?" Jasper asked as he bent down to pick up the milk.
Exasperated, I blew at some of the hair that had fallen in my eyes. "Thanks, Jazz. I just tried to knock myself out with the doorknob on the way through."
"It wouldn't be a normal day for you without trying to kill yourself at some point," he said chuckling, his cornflower blue eyes shining with amusement. I laughed in response.
"C'mon Bella, let's get started, I'm starving!" Alice said, rushing past me into the kitchen.
My apartment was small, but neat. I had bookcases filled to the brim with books from all genres in every room but the kitchen and bathroom, and if Alice would let me, those two rooms would be filled with books, too. There's the occasional knick-knack, mostly given to me by Alice as an attempt to bring some sort of design into my apartment, and a few photos of family and friends. But anyone could tell of my love for books just by walking into my living room.
I followed her to the kitchen and started prepping. As I was slicing a cucumber for a salad, something caught my attention at the window. I looked out, seeing a little girl with her father, a bicycle being pushed in between them. The little girl hopped on the bike, grinning from ear to ear at her father.
With a push, she was off, pedaling intensely; weaving in the soft grass. She looked back at her father laughing, her father beaming in reply. As the little girl started to turn, I could see she was going to fall. I held my breath, watching as she tumbled to the ground, her legs tangling in the pedals as she fell.
I was so engrossed in the scene unfolding before me, I was unaware of the knife in my hand. I felt a sharp pain streak up my arm, pulling me out of my reverie, immediately sending the metallic scent of blood to my nose.
"Ouch! Oh, no. Oh, jeez. Alice?" I said trying to breathe through my mouth and keeping my eyes shut.
"Bella? Oh, shit! Hang on a sec," she shouted, racing over to me. "Here, let's wrap this around it." She carefully wrapped a dishtowel around my hand.
"Be honest, how bad is it?" I asked, my voice shaking.
"Well, I think you're going to need stitches, but other than that, I don't know." Her voice was full of sympathy. She knew how much I hated hospitals.
"Great." I was not looking forward to spending my night in an ER waiting room.
"What were you doing?" Alice asked, confused.
"I was distracted. I was watching a little girl on her bike outside." I could see the look in Alice's eyes; knowing it was because of the dream that the little girl caught my attention in the first place.
"Let's get you to my truck, Bella," Jasper said, breaking up my thoughts, walking me out the door.
"You're too good to me," I said lightheaded. I was in trouble. I wasn't making much sense anymore.
"I don't know about all that, but thanks anyhow," he replied, easing me into the passenger's seat.
"It's okay, Bella. You'll be fine," Alice said soothingly.
And with that, I was on my way to the local hospital's ER for the third time in a year.
I walked into the ER, and I noticed some of the few changes since I'd last been treated here. New chairs in the waiting room, fresh paint, and a new wooden playhouse set up for children to play in while their parents looked on. It did nothing to ease my nausea.
I walked with Alice over to the registration desk and waited for the small, strawberry blond woman to look up.
"Can I help you?" she asked sweetly.
"Hi, I cut my hand earlier and need to be seen," I said nervously.
"All right, I'll need you to fill these forms out and bring them back to me with a copy of your insurance, please." I walked off and sat in a chair in the waiting area.
Breathe, Bella. You can do this. God, I hated hospitals.
I filled out the appropriate forms and took everything to the registration desk, not waiting for her to look up before turning and going back to my seat. I knew the drill. They'd get to me when they were ready.
Nearly two hours had passed, and I was still sitting nervously with Alice and Jasper at my side. Alice had been bouncing up and down for the last twenty minutes, her impatience finally leaking through.
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. "Alice, can you calm down? You're making me even more nervous than I already am."
"I'm sorry, Bella. I'm just getting sick of waiting, that's all." She stopped bouncing.
I was just finally beginning to relax when I sensed movement in front of my face. Opening my eyes, I saw my best friend's big, brown eyes just inches away. I jumped, my hand screaming in protest.
"Ah, Alice! What are you doing?" I asked gritting my teeth against the pain that was now throbbing in my palm.
"Bella, I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to scare you!" She was still staring at my face.
"Is there a reason why you're staring at me?" I asked, trying not to cry.
"No...yes....You haven't been using that moisturizer I gave you, have you?" she asked cautiously.
"What? No, I keep forgetting it's there. Why?" I was beginning to sense where this was headed.
"Nothing, it's just...well....Bella, you're so pretty, but you're never going to stay that way unless you take care of your skin!" she scolded. "Just let me fix you up a bit while we wait."
"Ah, Alice..." I groaned.
"Alice, leave Bella alone! She just tried to cut her hand off earlier, she doesn't need you trying to give her a makeover," Jasper said for me.
"Fine," she said sighing. I looked over to see her pouting.
"Oh, Alice, all right." I hated it when she pouted.
"Yea! Thanks Bella!" she said, jumping with joy.
I caught Jasper mouth the word 'Thanks' to me. I smiled back.
Within ten minutes, my long, mahogany hair was in an elegant chignon. My chocolate brown eyes were framed with thick lashes enhanced with mascara, my pale skin was dewy, and my lips were a soft, shimmering pink. I looked at myself in the compact's mirror.
"Alice, I don't think this really goes with the sweats and t-shirt I have on," I said, motioning to the clothes I was wearing.
"Bella, you never know when you might meet a hot doctor," she replied.
"Yeah, 'cause all the guys just are falling at my feet," I shot back, rolling my eyes.
"Bella, any guy would be lucky to have you," Jasper said loyally.
"Says the guy who dumped me for my best friend," I said with a smile and a wink.
It was true. Jasper had attended Stanford with Alice and me. We had a couple of classes together freshman year and formed a friendship instantly. He had asked me to grab a cup of coffee with him one Saturday, which I had surprisingly agreed to. But the night before our scheduled date, he met Alice at a party. When we met for coffee the next day, he told me what happened, and that it was love at first sight, apologizing profusely as he went on and on about her. Alice wouldn't go out with him, afraid I would be upset with her if she did. I saw the same look in her eyes talking about Jasper that I had seen in his at the coffee shop, and told her that if she didn't go for it, I wouldn't speak to her again. Who was I to get in the way of love? And it would have never worked out anyway, Jasper is like a brother to me. He and Alice have been together ever since, and married last year.
Before we could say anymore, a nurse came through the door and called my name.
Alice went to get up with me, but I just pushed her back toward her seat. "It's okay, Alice. I've got this. I'll have someone get you if I need you."
Reluctantly, she sat back in her seat and nodded her head. At that moment, I walked back with the nurse and was let into the exam room that would change my life forever.
The nurse led me into Exam Room 4 and took my vitals, telling me the doctor would be in shortly. I nodded my head and began examining the room. It was the same as every other exam room I'd ever been in. I was sitting on a gurney, white walls surrounding me, with numerous medical instruments placed all around. Just looking at them made my stomach roll.
As I was looking at a poster hanging on the back wall, I heard a knock. As the door opened, I heard a deep, musical voice.
"Ms. Swan?" I was instantly covered from head to toe with goose bumps from that wonderful voice.
I turned to find the source of the voice and had to stifle a gasp. There, standing at the doorway, was the most incredibly handsome man I had ever laid eyes on. He was tall, almost a foot taller than my 5 4", rippled with lean muscle that could be seen even through his blue scrubs and had exquisitely beautiful, pale skin. His hair was tousled and was the strangest shade of red I'd ever seen, almost bronze.
Oh, my God, his hair! I thought in shock.
In his chiseled face, was a pair of piercing emerald eyes, that mesmerized me. The moment my eyes met his, a flash of emotion went through his, too fast for me to recognize before he covered it up.
"Uh, Ms. Swan? Isabella?" he asked, smiling politely.
"What? Oh, yeah. Sorry. Bella, please." I said, struggling to regain my composure.
"Excuse me?" he asked.
"My name," I clarified. "No one calls me Isabella."
"Oh. I'm Dr. Cullen and I'll be examining your hand," he said, studying my chart. "May I ask what exactly you did?"
"Uh, I cut it," I said as I held out my left hand, still wrapped in the dishtowel.
Genius, I thought to myself.
"I see. May I take a look at it, please?"
No doctor had ever asked my permission before. Usually I was expected to do whatever they told me, even if that meant jumping up and down like a monkey while reciting the Pledge of Allegiance.
I held out my hand to him, confusion clearly on my face. His cool, elegant hands gently unwrapped the towel and held my hand, moving it back and forth, while studying the gash in my palm. The heat his touch sent up my arm stopped any reaction I would have normally had by seeing the fresh wound on my hand. It was like an electric shock, shocking me to my core.
How can a touch so clinical cause such a reaction?
I looked over at his face to see the same shocked expression I knew was on my face as he worked.
He felt it too, I thought, the heat rising to my face as I looked away.
"Can you wiggle your fingers for me, Bella?" The sound of my name on his lips was breathtaking.
"Uh, sure." As I did, he merely nodded his approval.
"You need stitches, but you didn't damage the tendon, so we can get this taken care of quickly. I'll have one of the nurses bring in everything I need while I check on another patient . I'll be back in soon." He said as he began to walk out the door.
"Thanks, Dr. Cullen," I managed to squeak out.
He turned back to me, his eyes darkening with an emotion I couldn't place, grinning the most amazing crooked smile I'd ever seen. "Please, call me Edward, Bella."
It was all I could do to nod in acknowledgment as he walked out the door.
Wow. I released the breath I hadn't realized I'd been holding.
It didn't take long for a nurse to bring in what I assumed was what Edward would need to stitch me up. Looking at the cart made me remember how I usually reacted to blood.
I squeezed my eyes shut and was practically panting, trying to get the roar in my head to subside. I could barely hear the nurse yelling at someone down the hall. I was going to pass out in a matter of seconds.
"Bella, breathe. Put your head between your legs." I recognized the musical voice immediately.
Great. Embarrass yourself some more.
I did as I was instructed and the roaring in my head died down slowly. I looked up tentatively to see Edward smirking.
"You doing okay? You're still a little green." I nodded and slowly sat back up, my face flaming in mortification.
"I take it you're a little squeamish," he said, smiling broadly.
"Yeah. I'm surprised I didn't do this earlier," I said looking down.
Wait, was he laughing at me? I looked up to see him chuckling lightly to himself. Yep, this just keeps getting better and better.
"How about I distract you while I work on your hand?" he asked me, still smirking.
"Distract? Okay," I said slowly, "what do you have in mind?"
"Well, you can start out by telling me exactly how you got this gash in your hand" he said, putting gloves on.
"Well, I had a dream this morning that freaked me out and my best friend Alice and her husband Jasper came over to make dinner with me to calm me down and keep me company. I was slicing a cucumber for the salad when I saw a little girl learning to ride her bike outside with her father through my window. I guess I got caught up in what they were doing, and I sliced my hand open."
Oh, my God. I hadn't meant for the part about the dream to come out.
"A dream, huh? What was it about?" he asked, grinning his crooked smile as he looked at me.
"Uh, nothing. It's nothing, never mind." I said, blushing again at the information I'd just shared with a stranger.
"Do you make it a habit to watch people from your window?"
"No," I said, my cheeks getting hotter by the second. "I guess I was just excited for her. Learning to ride your bike, it's a pretty big milestone for a kid." I shrugged. "So, are you new here? I've never seen you here before," I said, trying to change the subject.
Oh, shit. I just realized how that sounds...like a pick up line.
He looked at me strangely. "Yeah, sort of. I just took a position in the Trauma Center here a few months ago." He paused before going on. " Why? Are you acquainted with all the doctors in the ER?" He was teasing me.
"Unfortunately, yes," I replied. "I'm really clumsy," I said, looking down at the floor again.
"Is that a fact?" he asked, smiling again. I could imagine how ridiculous I looked to him. "So, what do you do?"
"I work at the library. The west branch."
"Really? Any specific reason you chose to work there?" he asked. He seemed to be genuinely interested.
"Well, I love books. I've always wanted to work with books. I was an English major in college and I always thought that I'd eventually write, but I was offered the Branch Manager position a couple of years ago and have been there since."
"Where did you go to college?"
"Stanford." I was lucky to have gotten in.
"And do you still want to write?" I couldn't understand why he was so interested in my life.
"Maybe...eventually. I'm probably not any good at it, so I don't know." Of course, this was followed by a blush.
"I'm sure you're great, Bella." I looked at him, seeing nothing but honesty in his eyes. "Okay, you're all set."
I looked at my hand in amazement. I was all wrapped up and I hadn't gotten sick once. He must've been able to see the shock in my eyes.
"I told you I'd distract you," he said as he looked at me seriously.
I gazed into his eyes. Time seemed to stand still. I thought heard myself say thank you, but I couldn't be sure.
Suddenly, he stood up, clearing his throat. "Bella, you're going to need to have the stitches removed in 7-10 days. I usually would tell you that you can schedule an appointment with your regular physician to have that done, but I would rather do it myself." I looked up at him, surprised. "Could you come back next Wednesday?"
"Uh, yeah. Sure," I said. This was unexpected.
"Okay, my shift starts at six, could you be here around 5:30? You won't have to wait in the waiting room that way." I nodded. " Great," he said smiling, "I'll leave word with the front desk to page me when you arrive. The nurse will bring in your discharge papers with a list of cleaning and bandaging instructions for you to follow until I see you next. She'll go through it with you and you can ask her any questions before you leave. I'm also writing you a prescription for some mild pain killers. If you need to change the prescription for any reason, call the ER and they'll page me for you."
"Thank you." I was almost speechless at how nice he was being to me. I mean, why would you schedule to remove a stranger's stitches yourself when you could push them off on someone else?
"It was nice to meet you, Bella," he said, moving to the door, that unfamiliar emotion flashing through his eyes again as he looked at me.
"You, too, Edward," I said, still unable to get my bearings.
Breathe, just breathe. He's only being nice to you because you're such a klutz.
I walked back into the waiting area in such a daze, I almost walked past Alice and Jasper.
"Bella! Are you okay?" Alice grabbed my arm as I started to walk past.
I shook my head, trying to clear my thoughts. "Yeah, I'm fine. All done. See?" I held up my hand for proof. "I need to get this prescription filled before I go home."
"Sure, no problem, Bella, " Jasper replied, wrapping his arm around my waist for comfort.
We started toward the door when I heard I heard the beautiful voice call my name. "Bella, you forgot your purse!" Edward was moving quickly toward me with my purse in his hand.
Startled, I just stood there watching him as he approached. "Th...Thank you, Edward," I stammered.
"No problem. I'll see you next Wednesday." And with that, he grinned his crooked grin and walked back through the door.
"Whoa, what was that about?" Alice asked, walking with me back to Jasper's truck.
"Nothing, he was just being polite, that's all," I said as nonchalantly as possible. I didn't want to let her know how he had affected me in the exam room.
"That was more than being polite, Bella. I think he liked you!" I could see she was going to try to fix me up with the beautiful Edward Cullen if I gave her any information to use.
"No, I don't think so. He's a nice guy, that's all. I think I'm going to sleep on the way to the pharmacy." I'd try anything to keep her from questioning me all night.
"Okay." I knew she was pouting but I didn't give in this time.
As I crawled in the bed that night, my mind was still on the beautiful doctor with the bronze hair.
Was this the man from my dream?
When I closed my eyes, all I could see was Edward's face, his piercing green eyes looking at me with the same scorching, unfamiliar emotion I saw flash in his eyes when he first walked into the room. I drifted into the most peaceful sleep I had ever known, dreaming of Edward Cullen the whole night.