Screams in the night
Bleeding in the dark
Hiding from the truth
I let my words flow onto the page, so beautiful in the blood red ink, a smile crossed my face and the words bled through the page and imprinted on my heart. I felt a tug in the back of my mind pulling me back to reality, a place I did not want to be, it was a place of heartbreak and pain. I had created a perfect little sanctuary in my mind, a safe spot in a dark world.
I pulled on my strapless short blood red dress with black lacing. I added thick black eyeliner and lipstick. I brushed my ebony hair and reapplied the red streak. (Pics on page)
I arrived at school and received the usual glares from who I like to call the sluts; Lauren and Jessica are the leaders and are surrounded by alode of total bitches. I stalked past and headed straight for my best friend Angela, after they had left she had looked after me, comforted me, she did not even care when I became a Goth and started to write dark fiction. She read them and loved them, but I still kept some of them hidden, they were too private to see.
I knew how to cope now; I knew how to live, to keep myself together. I had built a hard shell for me, to protect the real me, well that had been my plan. In stead in an attempt to cover all pain I had crushed the small part of me that was left into a corner and covered it in the new me. I had become a new person, I was not Bella any more, I was a stranger, a wild, violent, strong, fierce person who was not afraid, but fear had been the thing that had led me to create with person, this cover. Now I realise I need pain to remember the good times, sometimes you need pain to survive. I pushed those thoughts away, the thoughts that were Bella's thoughts, not this stranger who lived in my bodies. Edward left me, he did not care and he is not coming back, maybe out of habit, maybe because expected it, maybe because I had let Bella's thoughts wander freely for a moment,. I felt a shadow of that old rip in my heart, and then it was gone, like a forgotten memory carried by the wind.
We arrived in class and to my delight everyone ignored me, I saw mike and Jessica kissing passionately, I shuddered to myself and took out my writing book.
sky behind her is ebony in colour and woven into it are stars
scattered across the night sky light drops of golden blood. She
stands, her pale skin glowing in the soft moonlight, deep waves of
dark brown hair cascade down her back like a waterfall. She takes a
step foreword and feels fragments of rocks crumble from beneath her
foot as it strikes the edge of the jagged cliff. Her sapphire blue
eyes scan the raging whirlpools of chaos below, a portal to Hades
realm. She takes a deep breath, stretches her arms and let's
herself falls towards the darkness. Her fall makes her long white
dress her shroud and as she tumbles to her death her last words is
carried by the wind "Goodbye" before she is
consumed by the waves.
"Goodbye" before she is consumed by the waves.
Life passes so quickly
Life is so fragile
It can be crushed by a single blow
Even the highest love can fall
That evening I lay in bed waiting for sleep to come, I had fought it before but now I had just given it, there was no use fighting the tide. They star the same, the screams in the night. How ever hard try to convince myself I never did get over you, you turned life against me. I tell myself I am better of without you, but I know it's not true, I know I miss you I know I love you. I just buried it under layers of rock hard stone. I showed not many emotions now, with love you get heartbreak, with happiness you get sadness. Words began to write themselves in my mind so I darted up to write in my favourite red ink.
She's a fallen angel
She's a fallen star
She's fallen from grace
She's fallen so far
I sighed with happiness and let myself be pulled under the by the waters of sleep I liked to call hell on earth.
I Woke up the next morning and groaned sensing something bad was going to happen today. I struggled to my feet trying to shake off the nightmares I had endured last night, but however hard I tried my breathing was still ragged and uneven. I took half an hour in the shower trying to calm my nerves remembering my dream. I knew I would never recover I knew it I had built up a resistance Attack was my defence, it was the only way I could think of, trust no one, I had learned the hard way. I had lightning reactions if only Edward could see me now. I laughed bitterly at my thoughts.
I lay unable to move his face looming above me laughing I wept and begged him not to go but he did and I felt my soul tearing in two. I dressed in my plain black res today and headed out to school. I parked and got out the car; I was talking to Angela and writing when it happened.
Every rose has its thorns
Every dream can go wrong
Every chance can come and go
I should have known
You were never gonna stay
But why lead me
To believe you loved me
It never made sense
I should have known because
Every song must end
Every door must close
Every light must fade
Every winter must come
Every soul must die
I liked this one, It had a nice ring to it, I was not really listening to the gasps of surprise around me I was to busy concentrating on this. Angela shook my arm
"Bella" I looked up and my heart stopped
I felt that familiar wound open up, I had worked so hard to keep it intact and in some moment it had be destroyed.
They were back
The Cullens were back in Forks
And my life was over…