Title: Where Did You Sleep Last Night?

Author: T'Prillah

Rating: M (Explicit m/f sex)

Series: TOS

Pairing: Mc/Barrows, Mc/U, Mc/Ch, Mc/Rand, Mc/m, Mc/U/Barrows

Summary: McCoy's attempts at romance keep getting thwarted. PWP. The sequel to "Stardust". Lots of fooling around with four different women.

Beta: McCoySpockLove. All errors remain mine.

Warning: Please if you're under 18. Don't read this. Come on. This features explicit het sex with mulitple partners.

Disclaimer: Paramount owns 'em all.


I entered the turbo-lift already packed tightly with Yeoman Janice Rand, Lieutenant Smith from physical sciences, along with a young crewman I barely recognized. "Good morning all," I murmured politely. I glanced at Janice Rand, she appeared to be about as hung over as I was. That was some party last night. I'd managed about five hours sleep, somehow waking up in my quarters. I didn't mind, I hadn't had that much fun in years.

"Good morning, Dr. McCoy!" they all replied.

"Don't happen to have any of that delicious coffee ready, would you, Miss Rand?" I then remembered that it wasn't part of her duties anymore. She was currently in training to be a transporter chief. "Sorry, I uh..."

"It's alright, Doctor. I don't mind."

"So how's life down in Engineering these days... uh...Davis?" I asked, after I'd managed to recall the kid's name.

"Oh, just fine sir. I've been working hard on the assignment Mr. Scott gave me."

"You haven't taken a leave yet, son?" This week we were running with a skeleton crew. Ship-wide shore leave had been scheduled on Wrigley's Pleasure Planet, of which we had been in orbit around since the other day. About twenty percent of all ship's complement was to remain on board at any time, in full rotation. The leave wasn't mandatory however and some of us, I'd noticed, were apparently planning to stay on board the entire duration. I narrowed my eyes at the kid. He looked like he needed a break. Damn that Scotty.

"I just came back, Doctor," he said, quickly. I wasn't sure I believed him.

Rand came to the kid's aid: "The Doctor just wants to make sure everyone's well rested."

I flashed my eyes at her. "That's right."

The lift stopped at Level 6. Smith and Davis exited. As soon as the lift doors shut, leaving me and Yeoman Rand alone, I changed my demeanor. "How come you didn't want to kiss me in the bathroom during our little game last night, huh? I have bad breath or somethin'?"

She laughed awkwardly. "No, of course not. I just was...uh...well... I was a little tipsy last night."

"A little?"

"Okay... a lot."

"You were calling me by my Christian name and everything."

"I was?"

"Give a guy ideas..." I teased.

"Oh, God. I hope I didn't do anything stupid!"

"Of course you did," I said in mock annoyance. "Terrible how you were. Just terrible. Totally unbecoming of an officer and a lady."

She brought her hand to her lips. "I can't remember!"

"No?" I said archly. "Well it's a good thing you can't. But I certainly do."

She stared at me long and hard till she punched me in the arm. "Oh you!" I laughed heartily and she finally joined in.

The lift arrived at her stop and she stepped out. I hovered my hand in front of the door sensor. "Need a hangover remedy, sweetheart?"

"No, I'm fine. I'll bring some coffee over to...Are you headed over to sickbay, Doctor?"

"I'm headed to my quarters." I waggled my eyebrows at her till she blanched. I knocked it off. "Actually, I'm just going to sickbay, Yeoman."

"We should do that again sometime," she blurted out. "Maybe we could...uh...tonight."

"No, not tonight. I have a date."

"A date? With who?"

I snatched my hand away from the sensor and the lift doors shut between us before I would answer her.

"Good morning, Miss Chapel. How are we this morning? Hung over?"

Christine blushed as she glanced at me. "Uh no. Not really."

I pulled out an 'anti-ol' hypo and shot myself with it. Much better. "Anyone on the sick list today?"

"No sir."

"Got any credits I can borrow?" I joked. "I'm flat broke."

She laughed. "Uhura cleaned you out, did she?"

"Yep." I walked into my office, logged onto my monitor and checked if I had any messages. There were none. "Christine," I called out to her as she stood in the doorway. "It's either going to be a long, uneventful day in sickbay or you can have the rest of the day off. Which would you prefer?" "Are you sure you don't need me here, Doctor?"

"I'm positive. I want you to relax this week. I heard that 'Coriolanus' is running planet-side. I saw an ad about the New-Royal Shakespeare company from Earth performing in that new theatre on main street."

"Really? I've never seen 'Coriolanus'."

"It's one of the lesser known ones. You'll like it. You should go with that lab tech, Jones."

She blushed again. "He's seeing someone."

"Oh, really? Anybody we know?"

"Angela Martine."

"Hmph. She gets around."

"Yeah." She came up next to my desk, studying her boots.

"How about Tonia Barrows?" I suggested. "You seemed to get along with her pretty well last night."

"I'll ask her," she replied. "Maybe... you could come with us."

"I would, but, I have a date tonight."

"With who?"

"Hi, Doc." I looked up from my monitor to see Yeoman Tonia Barrows striding in.

"Hi, honey. What can I do for you?"

"Gosh, Doc." She grabbed onto her right shoulder. "I have this pain...right here..."

"Oh?" I grabbed my scanner. "Here, I'll take a look at it." I ran the scanner over her shoulder but found absolutely nothing wrong. "Where'd you say the pain was?"

"Right here," she indicated by touching her lips, then started sucking on her own finger.

"You little shit," I muttered under my breath.

"Know what can take care of this pain...Doc?"

"And... what's that?"

She pulled me roughly towards her and claimed my mouth. She'd slid her tongue in before I managed to break away from her, holding her at arm's length. "Somebody can walk in here."

"How about that supply closet?" She tilted her thumb to it. How convenient.

"Tonia..." I found myself whining pathetically. "I really... shouldn't..."

She grabbed my hand, obviously not taking no for an answer. I'll admit I didn't fight too much. I keyed it open and she yanked me inside.

As soon as the door closed us in, she pushed me up against the bulkhead, thrusting her pelvis against my already risen erection. My hands slid around her waist as she ground against me. As I was already weeping hard, she didn't waste any time undoing my trousers and yanking them down. I grunted in approval as she put me into her mouth. I was close already, but then I got other ideas.

I suddenly pushed her off of me, backing her against the bulkhead in a passionate lip lock. I broke away long enough to say: "God you smell good." Then I was right back to sliding my tongue down her throat. As my mouth was on hers, my hands were busy: caressing her breasts and running my thumbs over hard nipples through her red velour, then traveling down to underneath her panties. My finger slid right in, she was so wet. "That's for me, isn't it."

"Uh huh."

I slid another finger in and she squirmed. "But, you have to be quiet. Okay, honey? I heard you were a screamer."

"I'll be a good girl," she whispered. "I promise."

I pulled my fingers out of her and sucked on them. "Hmmm. You taste good too." I didn't even bother taking off her panties. I just turned her against the wall, moved the crotch over and entered her. She was so warm and tight and it had been too long since I'd fucked anyone. I had to fight not to pop off right away.

She moaned louder and louder as I thrust into her.

"Shhhh," I gasped as I touched my forehead to her shoulder. "Hunay, ya havta be qui-ut..."

"Oh Len," she groaned. "Your accent is so-"

"Shhhhh." I thrust harder and found myself moaning just as loudly as she was. "Oh...Toni..." After I'd made sure she'd climaxed, which amazingly she did with me behind her, I finally let myself, spilling into her.

We got ourselves situated. I kissed her, then we exited the closet.

And there on my desk was a carafe of hot coffee, probably delivered by Yeoman Rand. I chuckled as I picked it up. She had to have heard what was going on.

Later on that afternoon, I sat at my monitor watching an old film: 'Three Men and a Baby' and laughing out loud at the silliness of it.

Suddenly the doors to my office swooshed open.

"Hi." Tonia Barrows came sashaying in, dressed to the nines in her civvies: a short little dress. "I'm meeting Christine here."

I snapped my monitor off. "Oh, my lord in heaven," I gasped. "You look absolutely delicious."

"Do I?" She came closer to me and slid her hands around my waist.

I gulped. "What time are you meeting Christine?"

"Ten minutes."

I grabbed her hand, dove towards the supply closet, keyed it open again and yanked her in there with me. This time, I sat down on the chair and positioned her onto my lap. "How am I supposed to keep my paws off of you when you dress like this, huh?"

"You're not," she said with a growl. She hopped off, undid my trousers, slid them and my underwear down. I reached under her dress and pulled down her panties this time, then yanked them off from her ankles. She sat on me and I dove in up to the hilt. "You gonna...be quiet... this time... Toni?"

"Uh huh," she groaned as she rode me.

I moaned very softly into her mouth, making sure I kept my lips on her this time to muffle any noises.

She rode me to a quick orgasm but I'd noticed she hadn't come. "I'm sorry..."

She giggled. "Don't worry, you can fix that another time." Another time?

We got ourselves back in order and nonchalantly strode out of the supply closet as if there was an innocent reason why we were both in there.

And just as we'd come out, Christine Chapel came in, looking just as beautiful as Tonia.

"Hi, Gorgeous." I ambled over and kissed my head nurse on the cheek. She of course went beet red once again. She seemed to do that a lot around me these days.

Tonia checked herself in the mirror and nodded to Christine, then looked back at me. "Have fun on your date tonight."

That evening, Nyota Uhura and I beamed down to Wrigley's and hit a little Cajun restaurant catering to a human clientele that had just opened up on the main thoroughfare. That was the thing about Wrigley's Pleasure Planet. You name it, they had it. She looked gorgeous, too. In fact she was the most stunning thing I'd ever laid eyes upon.

I soon forgot about what had gone on with Tonia the longer I was in Nyota's presence. We had a number of things in common: music, philosophy on life, interests, etc. I was falling in love. Afterwards I took her dancing. She was a fantastic dancer and looked beautiful in my arms. It was about 04:00 by the time we beamed back aboard the Enterprise.

Giggling, we sauntered out of the lift into the Deck 6 corridor where her quarters where situated and eventually wound up at her nameplate. "Would you like to come in?" she offered.

It was extremely tempting. "No, Sweetheart. I'm going to say goodnight. Would you like to do this with me again soon?"

"Of course," she cooed.

I gave her a lovely goodnight kiss and bid her adieu, wearing the dopiest grin ever.

In a daze I entered the turbolift and encountered Janice Rand.

She beamed at me. "Don't you look handsome! Where'd you get that shirt?"

"San Francisco," I yawned.

"Just get back from your date, huh?"

"Um hum," I grunted. "What are you doing up so late?"

"Early. My shift always starts this early when I'm on duty, so my body always wants to gets up at 04:00. Thought I'd get some breakfast. Care to join me?"

"Nah, I should go to bed." Her face fell so I reconsidered. "I guess I will after all."

Later on, about 05:00, I finally made it back to my quarters. The doors opened up for me obediently and I entered them to find Tonia Barrows reclining on my bunk, still wearing that sexy dress. "How'd you get in here?"

"Easy," she replied. "I'm the captain's yeoman. And...I believe you owe me."

I stood in front of her and undid the top button of my shirt. "Tonia...you know...I'm an old man...I can't keep this up..."

"Yeah, grandpa, you're ancient at 47 years old."

"That's older than you, missy. Look, I'm tired."

"Would you like me to leave, old man?" She sat up.

I undid a second button, then a third, than a fourth. Slowly I pulled my shirt off and let it drop to the deck. She watched every movement I made. I unfastened my trousers and let them fall around my ankles very deliberately, then stepped out of them. As I stood there in my socks, my finger in the waistband of my boxer shorts, my eyes locked with hers. "I'm going to take a shower, and you're gonna join me, young lady."

The next day, Tonia, Spock and I were in the lift. None of us breathed a word. Suddenly Tonia turned to me. "So, is the doctor in, tonight?"

I gave her a look. "The doctor is in."

The lift doors opened up at her stop. "See ya." I intently studied her ass as she walked off.

I felt Spock's eyes on me as soon as those damned lift doors shut. "The doctor is...?"

"Don't even start with me, Spock. Just don't. Yes. The doctor is finally getting some. And if you ask me: 'Getting some what?' I just might have to slip something nasty into your supplements."

"I was aware of what you were referring to."

"For once."


"What is? My sex life?"

"She is the captain's yeoman," he noted, unhelpfully.

"What the hell does that have to do with anything? Beats a date with Rosie Palm any day," I snapped back.

"Rosie Palm?"

"It's a euphemism, Spock. Care to venture a guess what for?"

We rode the rest of the way in silence.

Later on in the day, I headed up to the bridge to see if I couldn't antagonize Spock for a few minutes. I'd thought up some new snappy responses to that argument he'd started yesterday and I wanted to try them out. Plus sometimes, I just needed to get up there and see where we were headed, even if we were locked into orbit. I got claustrophobic stuck down below decks all the time. The lift stopped at level 4 and Janice Rand walked in. She took one look at me and turned away.

"Hi, doll." I bounced my heels as I was wont to do. "Something wrong, Yeoman?"

"No." She continued to stare straight ahead.

I immediately grabbed the handle to stop the lift. "Don't lie to me. This is your old country doctor you're speaking to."

She finally looked over at me and blushed. Another one who couldn't look at me without going beet red.

"This is about the other night, I said. "Look, I was just teasing you. You were fine. We all had a lot of fun. I'm sorry if I upset you."

She hesitated. "No...no...uh..."

"Yeoman, the lift is going to sound the alarm in a few minutes. So you'd better just come out with it."

"Did you really kiss me? Tongues and all?" she exclaimed rather loudly.

"Now, what do you think?"

"I can't remember." It nearly seemed like she pouted.

I grinned. "Do want me to refresh your memory?"

"Doctor!" she sputtered.

"What?" I gave her an innocent look. "Well, do ya or don'chya? See... we're technically 'off duty' so don't expect this sort of thing from me next week. It's now or never." Then I added her name for emphasis: "Janice."

She reached over to resume the lift and wouldn't look at me.

Well, that was my answer, I guess. The doors opened at her level and she hurried out, leaving me with my raised eyebrow.

After nearly getting a rise out of our illustrious first officer after my snappy comeback, an encounter of which I deemed a rather successful interaction-which meant, I won the argument-I casually invited the pointy eared hobgoblin to lunch in the officers' mess.

He sighed and accepted, albeit reluctantly. He left the con to Mr. Radley as we entered the lift.

Spock and I subsequently started an entirely different discussion, some might even call it petty bickering, about which mess we would eat in. I wanted the largest one that had all the plants in it. I got sick of looking at four grey walls all the time and wanted some greenery on view, even if they were crazy alien mobile plants. (We had Mr. Sulu to thank for them.) Spock preferred the small one closer to the bridge in case he needed to return to the command seat in a hurry.

After I nearly threw my hands up and said: 'forget it', we finally agreed on a compromise: the mess closest to sickbay.

We got down to about level five when the lift stopped and the doors slid open.

There was a flurry of red and suddenly somebody was hard up against me. Their mouth was suddenly on mine, kissing me with all the passion they could muster. I froze up for a second, then my arms slid around a trim waist as I responded just as passionately.

After a long minute I finally broke away from... Janice Rand.

She gave a hysterical hiccup. At the next stop she dove out, leaving me and Spock, who'd gotten to witness all of that, standing there in shock.


"You have a hot body for an old man," Tonia said as she lay in my arms that evening, drawing circles into my chest hair.

I snorted. "Thanks. I think. Coming from a baby."

"I'm twenty-five, Doc."

"You sure are. I should be ashamed of myself."

"Are you?"

I sucked on the closest pale pink nipple then let go with a loud pop. "Nope."

The next morning in the sickbay, with a lack of something really important to do, and since she kept refusing my suggestions of beaming down planet side, Christine Chapel and I decided to tackle getting rid of some unnecessary items in a large drawer. I dug deep into the back of the drawer and pulled out some old Christmas decorations. "We should really dispose of this stuff. We can always synth up more for next years party."

"Doctor, we can't," Christine protested. "I bought these specially from Earth."

"Alright then." I pulled out some more. "We should find another place to store this."

"I can store them in my quarters," she suggested.

I pulled out another item and studied it. "Look what I found." I grinned at a reddening Nurse Chapel. "Christine, what is it with you lately? Have I done or said anything wrong? Come on you can tell me."

"It's nothing, Doctor. You've just got...a piece of uh... mistletoe in your hand."

"Why, so I do."

She grabbed at it. "I'll take these decorations to my quarters, Doctor."

I suddenly felt the devil in me and held the mistletoe up high above our heads. "Whoops. Look what happened."

"Doctor," she giggled. "It's not Christmas time."

"No kidding. However it's my sickbay and my rules. I say the mistletoe rule still holds... even if it is July." There was a twinkle of challenge in my eyes.

Then suddenly... we were kissing deeply before we knew what had hit us.

We finally broke away, laughing breathlessly. I turned around and stared right into the face of Spock.

I froze.

"Fascinating." He turned on his heel and walked out.

I turned back to my nurse, who was by now looking a little worse for wear. She cleared her throat and left.

I headed to my office, flipped on the monitor and summoned our first officer that I was available... now. He returned some ten minutes later with arms folded.

I folded mine too and grinned at him like the Cheshire Cat.

"I was about to invite you to lunch, Doctor. However, I've noticed that you are...otherwise occupied."

"I found some mistletoe," I explained rather meekly.

I entered my shower, turned the water on and leaned my head back. Suddenly the stall door opened. "Oh, it's you. There's a surprise."

Tonia Barrows dove in with me, naked as a jaybird and even more beautiful. "Hi, Lenny."

"Lenny, huh? Shut the door. You're gettin' water everywhere."

She did, and I rewarded her with a hungry kiss. I knew damned well that I really shouldn't be doing this, not when I was trying to get another date with Nyota Uhura but Tonia was just so damned...sexy. I sank to my knees and went down on her right there in the shower. I loved the way she tasted as I coaxed a climax out of her.

We left the shower and I felt so much dirtier than when I'd come in.

I picked her up and deposited her onto my bed. Both of us sopping wet, I decided to go down on her again, wondering if I could make her come once more. My dick ached for her as I tasted her again.

After my second date with Uhura, I walked her to her quarters. We stopped at her door. "I had another wonderful evening with you," I said to her, earnestly.

She looked at me with those huge, alluring brown eyes. "Leonard, would you like to come in?"

It was extremely tempting but I hesitated. "Nyota, sweetie, it's only the second date."

She giggled. "That's mighty old fashioned of you."

I leaned over to kiss her goodnight, determined to be a gentleman. My hands circled around her waist and she brought hers around my neck.

As our lips met, I suddenly felt the wind of somebody passing behind me and a murmured: "Fascinating."

I glared daggers at Spock's back heading away from us in the corridor.

I turned back to Uhura. "Lead the way, love." She smiled and pulled me into her quarters.

She fixed me a drink and put some music on. "Leadbelly, huh?" I asked. "I love a woman who listens to real music."

She smiled at me then sang 'Where Did You Sleep Last Night' along with Leadbelly in that beautiful voice of hers. Then 'Georgia on my Mind' by Hoagy Carmichael came on. I pulled her into an embrace and slow danced with her to Hoagy. I kissed her then kissed her some more.

I awoke the next morning to a computer chime and a sleepy voice ordering the computer: "Ten more minutes..."

I chuckled into her sweet smelling hair. "You're going to be late for your shift."

"It's skeleton crew this week; doesn't matter."

"You should call in sick," I suggested. "I'll vouch for you. Then we can stay in bed all day. In fact I could inject us both with the flu symptoms, then we could stay in bed all week."

She snickered and kissed me good morning.

"Did you sleep well at least?" I asked.

"Hmmm hum. Thanks to you."

I smiled, pulled Nyota to me and got busy with those ten minutes.

About 08:00 I sauntered back to my own quarters wearing the civvies I had on last night.

My doors slid open and of course I found Tonia Barrows reclining on my bed. "Tonia," I said, now very annoyed with this girl and with myself. "No. No. No. You're very lovely but I can't do this. Not anymore."

"Why not?"

"Because...I'm seeing someone." I tossed my communicator onto my desk.

She shrugged.

"I'm sorry, honey, but we need to end things. It isn't right. I shouldn't have started this with you in the first place." I did need to end it, but I still felt rotten about it.

"Okay." She got up and headed towards the door. And left.

I sat on my bunk for about twenty seconds, swore mightily, then darted out of my quarters.

She'd nearly made it down to the turbo lift when I called out to her in a stage whisper: "Get back here!" She turned around and shook her head, then disappeared into the lift. I withdrew back into my quarters, thought about what to do next, pounded my fist on the bulkhead as I berated myself for being stupid, then exited again and tore off after her.

I jumped into the lift, ordered the computer to locate her, and found her walking down the deck 6 corridor.

In a rush I crept up to her, put my hands around her waist and pulled her back down the corridor and into the lift. "Now," I gasped when the doors shut us in. "Where were we?"

She halted the lift, undid my trousers and had me in her mouth in nothing flat. Her mouth felt so good and quickly I was about to come, till I heard the computer voice: "Please state the nature of your emergency."

"Computer..." I said. "Shut up!"

Tonia kept up the action on my cock, using her tongue to tease underneath my head, and her hand to jack me off. Ohhhh...

"Please state the nature of your emergency-"

"Computer! Shut up!"

"Mmmmm," Tonia moaned. Ohhh, I could feel that moan on me.

"Oh...God..." It felt so good. "Oh... Lordy...Oh, Toni..."

"Please state the nature of your emergency."

"Computer...shut...the...fuck...up!" I gritted out, then groaned as I came down Tonia's throat. She stood up, wiping her mouth. I wiped the sweat off my brow, yanked up my trousers, kissed Tonia and resumed the lift. "Happy now, computer?" I yelled out.

The computer said nothing and we went merrily on our way. God. What was I doing?

The lift stopped and Tonia exited. I gasped out: "Bye" to her as Spock joined me.

As soon as the doors shut he remarked: "Fascinating."

"There's that word again," I muttered, wiping my brow.

"Are you wearing some sort of alien cologne?" he asked.


"Have you injected yourself with Deltan pheromones, perhaps?"

"No. Spock. I most definitely have not."

"Have you consumed anything unusual within the past week?"

I wiped my brow again. "Spock, are you trying to say that I can't attract women on my own?"

"I am merely cautioning you, Dr. McCoy. You are not Jim Kirk."

"What the hell's that supposed to mean?"

"You have engaged in sexual activity with four women."

"No...it hasn't been...four women. Just...uh...two..." That still sounded bad. "Just what business is it of yours anyway? Don't worry. I can handle it."

"Dr. McCoy, Miss Barrows is the captain's yeoman," Spock warned me in the lift after he spotted Tonia sneaking out of my cabin the next morning.

I suddenly realized why he'd bothered to mention it to me three times already. "She's fucking the captain too, isn't she."


I sighed mightily. "I don't know why I should be so damned surprised."

"And yet, you are also involved with Uhura."

"Yes, but don't worry. I'm going to end it with Barrows. I mean it. This time."

"Christine, I'd really wish you'd go enjoy yourself planet-side," I said as I helped her carry the box full of slides we'd just cleaned. I hefted it up over my head and put it away in the supply closet. "I'm fine, Doctor."

I turned to her. "You're gonna force me to make it a medical order, aren't ya."

"What about you, Doctor? You're staying on board," she countered.

"That's true. I'm the only available physician right now. Even if I do beam down, I'm still on call. So I might as well stay up here."

"There is a nice restaurant on Wrigley's that I wouldn't mind checking out," she admitted.

"So why don't you go?"

"I don't have anybody to go with."

"Yes you do." I contacted my mental list of possible candidates. "Tonia Barrows?" She shook her head 'no'. "Lia Burke?" another 'no'. "Janice Rand?" another 'no'. I ran down some more possibilities on my list and they were all nixed. She stared at me intently. The nickel dropped. "Me?" She stared down at the deck and nodded.

"Chris..." I began. "I would, but...I'm seeing someone."

"Oh...of course...Dr. McCoy. Sorry." She walked off.

I stood there in the supply closet alone, cursing. I finally stalked out into the main ward. "Christine, I'll meet you in the transporter room in ten minutes."

After beaming back aboard ship, slightly liquored up after my extended lunch with my head nurse, I escorted her back to her quarters.

"Leonard..." she giggled.

I snickered. "Leonard?"

"Doctor," Christine corrected herself. "Would you like to come in?"

No. No. NO. NO. NO! "Sure. Okay. I guess."

At around 16:00 or so, I edged my way back to my own quarters. I entered the lift. Suddenly, before the doors shut, a flutter of red dove in with me.

"Hi, Leonard." It was Yeoman Rand. Oh oh.

"Alright, Spock," I said as I entered the Vulcan's quarters unannounced. He was sitting at his desk strumming at his lyrette. "You've gotta help me!"

He looked up calmly. Too calmly. "Regarding what, Dr. McCoy?"

"You know what. Don't make me say it."

"Say, what? Doctor?"

"Dammit, Spock...I've got four women after me and I don't know what to do."

"And you presume that I do?" He stood up, set his lyrette down very gently onto the desk and walked over, eyeing me for a very long time.


"I believe the saying goes: As one has made the proverbial bed, one should lie in it."

"Very funny. You would parrot back one of my sayings at a time like this."

He studied me very oddly again. He inched closer to me and rested his hands on my shoulders. I jerked back in response. "What the hell are you doing?"

"Attempting to ascertain what is so attractive about you."

I batted his hands away. "You're not helping. I've come to you for some advice and this is what you give me. Why do I even bother with you?"

"I do not know. For I am aware of the fact that I am merely a... Jim substitute. You would not be here asking for my advice with the opposite sex, were he not on Wrigley`s."

"Oh, hey. You're not a Jim substitute," I protested. "I...do...uh, value...your... advice...sometimes..."

He raised an incredulous eyebrow. "I should record this."

"Dammit!" I huffed. "If you're gonna keep cracking jokes, I'm leavin'! I'm a doctor, not a Goddamned gigolo."

"One would deem to think otherwise, with such activity."

"Knock it off. Are you going to help me or not?"

"Where are we eating breakfast tomorrow, Dr. McCoy?"

I scowled. That wasn't fair. He was learning how to play dirty pool from me, I guess. Was I that bad of an influence? I sighed and gave in. "In the mess closest to the bridge, I suppose. Spock," I whined. "I don't like that one. It's too damned small."

"Then, I am sorry, I cannot-"

"Okay, okay, okay. You win. Please. You've gotta help me."

"I do sympathize with your problem...Doctor, and it is indeed a problem, is it not?"

"Of course!"

"However, I am at a loss as to what your immediate course of action should be. Do you have a current favorite?"

"I really want to be with Nyota!" I sputtered.

"Then, you should attempt to discourage the other three."


"The direct approach might be best."

"I can't. I keep trying to tell them 'no' but I just can't do it. They're very persistent."


The next morning, Christine Chapel, Tonia Barrows, Yeoman Rand and two others were in the officer's mess closest to the bridge. Technically those three girls didn't even belong in that particular mess-they were enlisted and were supposed to eat in the crew mess, but I wasn't going to tell 'em off, especially not today. As Spock and I entered the seating area with our trays of food, I nodded at him and we sat down next to each other. Perfect.

In a louder than normal voice, Spock said: "Leonard, I have missed you and I wish to reconcile with you."

I glared daggers at him. "I don't know, Spock. I was really angry at what you did. I don't know if I can ever take you back."

"I am sorry. For...whatever it was I may have done. May we reconcile?"

Rand, Barrows and Chapel's eyes were trained on Spock and me. I forced down a smirk and decided to really go for broke. "I don't know, Spock. I love you, but you're so controlling...Are you going to stop being jealous?"

"Indeed not. In fact, I shall be watching you very closely. You have been unfaithful to me. Vulcan's do not take very kindly to other …dalliances. We have been known to practice... the Vulcan death grip on other competitors."

"Spock you can't kill to keep my affections. It isn't logical."

"Whatever is necessary, is logical."

I spotted Rand's and Chapel's eyes growing to the size of saucers.

I felt the devil in me again. "Kiss me." Spock raised an eyebrow. I smirked. "That is...if you really do love me, Spock."

"If...that...is what you wish..." It nearly sounded as if he'd choked that one out.

"Well, then...I'm waiting..." I batted my eyelashes at him.

He very awkwardly planted a kiss on my lips, then pulled back at the near collective gasp from the assembled throng.

I glared at all the looky-loos. "Don't all y'all have someplace else to be?"

Rand, Barrows and Chapel took off like a shot. The other two in the mess went back to their breakfasts.

Spock and I very calmly finished our meals, put our trays away, left the mess and strode into the turbolift.

As the doors closed us in I was overcome with such hysterical glee my insides were about to explode.

"Did you enjoy engaging in subterfuge, Doctor?"

"Spock...I didn't think you'd actually kiss me, but all the better I guess...hah... did you see the looks on those girls' faces? What a joke!" I heard nothing in response, looked over and noticed he was gazing at me rather oddly. "Spock...it WAS a joke, wasn't it?"

He didn't answer that and instead replied, "What shall you do about Lieutenant Uhura? Such gossip will reach her rather quickly, I am certain of it."

"Don't worry. I'll handle Uhura."

"In more ways than one, I presume."

I grinned but he was still studying me closely. "What is it, Spock?"

"I still am unable to ascertain exactly what is so attractive about you."

"You. Shut up."

After dealing the rest of the day with my head nurse avoiding me, and noting the sudden disappearance of Janice Rand (she'd decided to spend the rest of her week dirtside) I entered my quarters and found a familiar figure waiting for me.

"What the hell are you doing here?" I demanded. "If Spock finds out-"

"Lenny, I know damned well you two were just fucking around. I'm not stupid," Tonia Barrows huffed at me, as she reclined on my bunk wearing nothing but a goddamned pink nightie.

I laughed. "Alright. Ya got me."

I stripped naked as fast as I could and was on her like a maggot on a meat wagon. Now what do you expect when she was wearing nothin' but a sexy pink nightie? In the back of my mind I knew I was gonna burn in hell for this. But right now, I didn't care.

On my third date with Nyota Uhura, we had a succulent supper at some restaurant that specialized in real Earth beef steak and huge baked potatoes dripping in butter. Delicious. I wore my best civvies with my favorite button up shirt and Nyota wore a white sun dress with little pink flowers on it. Afterwards, we went dancing again then went to a beautiful bed and breakfast where we spent the night in blissful privacy. I was on call, but thank heavens I got to enjoy my night with her.

Luckily, there was nobody there waiting for me in my quarters when I entered them the next day since I'd made sure I'd barred the door with a special non-override code Spock had given me.

As I sat in Sickbay speed-reading a medical journal, there was the sound of the bosun's whistle. "McCoy here."

"Hi." It was Barrows.

"Yeoman, you're not supposed to use this channel for personal calls."

"This isn't a personal call."

"You know damn well it is." I rolled my eyes. "What do you want?"

"You. Wanna play?"



I glanced at the chrono: 14:00. I chuckled. "What's the matter, can't break into my quarters anymore?"

"Yes or no, Doc?"

"Sure, alright."

I was definitely gonna burn in hell.

On our fourth date, Nyota and I enjoyed a private candlelight supper she'd prepared for me. We had some wine and listened to some music, then tumbled into bed.

Suddenly the doors to her quarters opened.

I gasped and hid my nakedness under the covers. Nobody should have been able to open that door, I'd used Spock's privacy code.

Tonia Barrows stepped in.

My heart dropped out of my chest. "Tonia!"

"Hi Leonard," she said, smiling.

"How in the hell did you break the code?" I demanded.

"Easy," she shrugged. "I'm the captain's yeoman."

"You better have a medical emergency! Somebody in your department better be dead...you can't just override a privacy code... What...what...what... in God's name are you doing here?"

"I invited her here, Leonard," Uhura said, sweetly.

"What? Now? Why?"

Uhura giggled. "You and Tonia are pretty close, aren't you."

I opened my mouth then closed it. I wasn't going to lie. I grabbed at my uniform before Uhura held onto my hands. "Uh...yes," I admitted. I was sunk. I'd done it now. I'd lost everything. I just wanted to be with the woman I loved and when a couple of other ladies showed me some attention I couldn't keep my damned dick in my pants. I felt like a dog. "I'm really sorry...Nyota. Uh...Tonia..."

"I'm seeing her, too."

I sharply turned my head around. "You're what?"

"I'm sleeping with Tonia Barrows," Uhura said. "And so are you."

"Yes, but..." I stammered. "Just what in the hell is going on here?"

"We both want you, Leonard," Tonia said.

"I'm a one-woman man," I protested.

"Yeah right!" they both replied.

"Listen... I'm," I said, grasping, "uh...Hey, Tonia, I thought you were sleeping with Captain Kirk?"

"I am," Tonia said.

"You're also involved with Spock," Nyota said.

"No, no," I explained. "That was just a joke...that's not real."

"Leonard," Tonia said. "Nyota and I want to have a threesome with you."

"Me? Oh...Jesus." I grabbed my uniform and underwear, got out of bed and pulled everything back on. "Forget it. Both of ya." I kept up my grumbling about how I'd managed to get myself into this predicament and I reached for my boots. This was insane.

Suddenly, Tonia lunged forward and pushed me back onto the bunk. Nyota held me down, as Tonia jumped on top of me and kissed me. Then Nyota leaned down and met my lips. Then, they kissed each other. Oh oh...Tonia stroked me though my trousers as they moaned into each other's mouths. "No...no...no...please...no..." I said, scrambling up, or at least trying to. I had a hot redhead parked on my hips and a lovely Nubian goddess pinning my wrists onto the bunk, both of them giggling. "I could have you both on report...I outrank the pair of you...mmphh..." A mouth was on mine, to shut me up.

Tonia pulled off my velour tunic and black tee-shirt, as Nyota reached for the fastening to my waistband. "You can't just ravish the CMO of a starship..." I began.

"Oh, yes we can," Nyota replied. They managed to get the rest of my uniform off of me in nothing flat.

"Oh...no...no..." I was still protesting, like it mattered. My dick was aching hard; Tonia was running her tongue along the underside of it. "Suck on it..." I found myself begging.

"Shut up," Tonia breathed.

She teased me for a little while longer, then they turned to each other and I watched the show they were putting on for me. Tonia commenced sucking on Nyota's lovely round breasts, and Nyota bit on Tonia's pale pink nipples. My breath caught and I demanded that they kiss again. Nyota slapped me hard, the sting of it nearly sending me into climax. The three of us tumbled onto the deck, a mass of limbs.

On the deck, I managed to gain the upper hand, commanding them where to touch each other and when, enjoying very much that I now got to be the director of this little show.

I pushed Tonia down hard to suck me, while I slid my fingers up into Nyota. Then, as I lay on my back, Tonia sat on me, took me inside her, and rode me to climax as I simultaneously made Nyota, straddling over my face, come with my tongue.

I woke the two of them up twice in the night, raring to go for more.

The next morning, I slowly regained consciousness to the three of us tangled up in a blanket. Tonia jumped up and staggered into the shower. As soon as Tonia closed the door behind her, I reached for Nyota and made gentle love to her to the sounds of the water.

Afterwards, I cradled her in my arms. "Sweetheart, do you think we could see each other exclusively?"

"Without Tonia? I don't know..."

"I don't want to share you. And I don't really want to be with anybody else but you. I love you," I whispered.

"I love you too," she grinned.

Tonia came out of the shower, naked and holding a towel. "Hey you two, I know this really nice B & B with a huge hot tub on Wrigley's. You interested?"

I thought about it for a moment and glanced at Nyota, then looked back at Tonia's naked hourglass figure. "Once more with the two of ya, couldn't hurt. I guess."

I stepped out of the turbo-lift with Nyota and Tonia, alternating between kissing one and the other.

Spock passed us by in the corridor, noted me with an arm around each and raised an eyebrow.

I said nothing, but winked at him.

In the transporter room, Uhura whispered to me: "Are you sure you're not sleeping with Spock? We'd love to include him, too-"

"No way."

"So, Bones," Jim asked me as I stood next to the command seat on the bridge. "What did you do this week while I was dirtside?"

"Nothin'." I yawned into the back of my hand.

Spock cleared his throat on the other side of us but I warned him off with a look. However, my comment wasn't enough to allay Jim.

"What do you mean, nothing?"

"I meant, nothing at all, Jim. Though... well," I chuckled, "I think I'm going to require some shoreleave to recover from my shoreleave."

Jim shook his head at me and headed towards the lift. Spock jumped into the command seat, all the while his eyes bored a hole through me.

"Not a Goddamned word, outta you," I muttered.