***SM owns the characters***
So, so sorry for the delay in updating but I was not sure where I wanted to go with the story, but alas I find it coming to an end.
I watched for the appearance of my company. The emotions coming from the person approaching me were very powerful, anguish, hope, love, fear and a vast amount of others. Finally I saw who my companion was. Carlisle.
He scaled the tree in seconds and took a seat across from me. His eyes reflected the emotions that raced through him. He held my gaze for several minutes before finally speaking. His voice was low but full of conviction.
"Jasper, Bella needs you. She is lost within herself. Whatever snapped in her today, returned her to a time of immense sorrow and pain. I do not know what transpired between the two of you but she keeps repeating over and over that you are gone." His voice by the end of his speech was merely a whisper and his emotions reflected deep concern.
As much as I wanted to race to Bella and proclaim my undying love to her, I couldn't. The Jasper that lived based on his own emotions was gone. A heartless bastard was all that remained. I steeled myself before responding, my voice cold and uncaring.
"Bella does not need or want me. Take her with you when you leave. I do not belong with her or any of your family." Yes I really was a heartless bastard with no hope of returning to my former self. Carlisle was shocked his emotions and face showed his shock. As my words sunk in he began shaking his head, ready to disagree with me, but I stopped him.
"Let me rephrase just so it is clear for everyone. I do not want her and I certainly do not need anyone in your family. My life is here. I will return to Volterra after you all leave. I am done dealing with this emotional shit." At that I leaped from the tree and darted deeper into the forest. I was flying through the trees, escaping the pain and the life I could not have.
Weeks passed, but I remained hidden deep in the forest, occasionally I would hear others approaching but I avoided everyone that approached. Only once did I catch Bella's scent, only once did she come looking for me before giving up on me. I was a hopeless monster. I neither desired nor deserved love. Love and hope only lead to pain and disappointment. Hate is a good emotion to carry, I hate everyone and everything.
Finally after several more weeks the searches stopped and I finally felt that I could return to the castle, certain they had all left. I returned unnoticed to my room. The scent of Bella assaulted my senses and threatened to crack the walls I built around myself. No. I would not ever allow myself to feel the pain and loss again. I am a heartless bastard, nothing more.
I traveled throughout the castle, ensuring that all of the Cullen's had left. They had. I passed Aro's personal chamber and overheard him on the telephone. "No Carlisle I have not seen him yet. He is still somewhere out in the forest. As soon as he returns I will let you know." There was a pause before he continued. "How is Bella? We all miss her very much." Again a paused as Carlisle responded, how I wish I could hear what he said. Aro emotions went from curious and concerned to frustrated, saddened, hopeless and disappointed in a blink of an eye. What happened? Was she all right? I could listen no more. I turned and darted back to my room.
Weeks turned to months as I escaped deeper into myself. Everything that was once vibrant to my eyes was now dull. Nothing held any meaning. Life had no meaning without Bella and I had no life now. Hope what a foolish word, only fools hope and I am no fool. I did not leave my room for months, not even to feed, why bother? Perhaps it is possible to die from lack of feeding.
Aro visited frequently, every visit was the same. Please Jasper you must go to her. She is lost without you, just as you are lost without her. Fuck that. She does not want me. I do not need her. I never responded with words only shook my head no. He would continue our one sided conversation by sharing with me details of his weekly conversations with Carlisle.
Apparently she had stopped speaking as well. She remained in her room just as I remained in mine. The family was falling apart. Carlisle and Esme were trying to be strong but were quickly losing hope as well. Alice had left the family shortly after their return to Canada. She apparently told the family she had to come to terms with her actions and find her future. Whatever, she deserved to suffer.
Edward had tried to help Bella and tried to make her see that he still loves her but she wants nothing to do with him. Like I really give a shit… Emmett and Rose tried to be supportive but finally could no longer take the sadness that seeped from her and left to spend some time alone.
More months passed, Aro visited every week and updated me ion what was happening with the Cullens. Edward finally gave up on Bella and went to track down Alice to see if they really did love each other. They can both burn in hell as far as I am concerned. Em and Rose returned to the family but little has changed. Bella only leaves her room to hunt and still refuses to speak to anyone.
I am the same, I hunt when absolutely necessary but other than that I stay in my room. I again wish for death to find me but alas I remain in this useless state. Bitter and full of hate. It seems time has sped up; two years have passed by me. Aro has not visited in several weeks but I find I really do not give a shit. My self-torture is endless; I had finally found a great love and let her go. I did not fight for her, instead I ran from her. She deserves so much more.
She deserves the world not a selfish bastard like me. The hope I can find in myself is for her. I hope she finds her happy ending no one deserves it more than her. No one. Bella deserves to find her great love and more than anything she deserves an eternity filled with happiness, filled with hope.
She was but a candle in my life, so bright when in sight but the wick was short and the light burnt out. While I drown in my own sadness inside on the outside I am the hard ruthless bastard that I was a century ago. I feel no one's emotions any longer because I do not care, they do not matter.
Another year gone, I have heard nothing of the Cullens' or of Bella in nearly sixteen months. It is better this way, no reason to dwell on the past. I can lie to myself on I want but the truth remains, my short time with Bella was the only true happiness I ever felt. No lies, no deception. It was pure, because Bella was so pure.
I am again in my room no trace of her scent remains but it is forever etched in my memory. So sweet, so tempting, so pure. A gentle knock at my door pulls me from my musings. I can not sense any emotions from who ever is on the other side of the door, nor can I discern a scent from whomever is stupid enough to be on the other side.
I slowly approach the door and open it. My breath is sucked from me and my walls collapse. I am instantly wrapped in the arms of the woman that holds my heart. She came back. Bella. As soon as our skin touches her emotions are coursing through me. Love, happiness, hope, sadness, fear.
She reaches for my face and pulls me to her. As her lips brush mine I am lost in her. It is only she and I in the world and no one else matters. I return her gentle kiss passionately. God how I have missed her. My memory did not do her justice, she is glorious.
She whispers across my mouth, "Jasper." My name coming from her breaks me. I collapse to the ground pulling her with me. Afraid to let go and terrified to hold on. She peppers my face with kisses and whispers her love into my ear. I pull back to see her eyes. It is still there, the light, the love and the undying hope. She is my hope, without her I have none.
"Bella, I love you. I am so sorry." My voice no longer sounds like my own. She is everything to me. I will never left her go again. I hug her tight to me and kiss her with everything I have, pouring all of my love into her. She sends her love back to me, just as strong. How did I survive without her for three years?
Our kisses become urgent as I pull her up with me to the bed. Our lips never part as we lay together on the bed. My hands re-memorizing every curve of your luscious body. Her hands doing the same to me. Our clothes are soon lying on the floor next to us. Her body pressed against mine. Her lips leave mine only to kiss every inch of my scarred chest. Her love and desire pour into me, completing me.
I pull her back to me, kissing her passionately. I gently roll her onto her back and shift so I am now hovering over her. There are no words spoken between us, only our emotions flowing freely. I push into her core slowly, wanting to fully experience every ridge of her body. As I fully sheath myself into her I stop and look into her depthless eyes.
My voice breaks as I whisper my love to her, over and over as I slowly move within her. Our lips reconnect and our bodies move in harmony. Slow and passionate, no hunger or need for release. This is all about joining ourselves together, forgetting the last three years and sharing our love. It is pure and I know this goddess beneath me is my world. I will spend all of my eternity proving my love for her and earning her forgiveness for leaving her.
Our releases come simultaneously but we do not stop. Our bodies are connected and will remain connected for hours to come. Gentle kisses shared and declarations of our love are made to each other. Pure bliss. Our love is unbreakable, time not distance could change that. She came back to me, she saved me from myself again. She is my strength, my light in the darkness, she is everything to me.
Bella completes me like no one else ever can. She did the one thing no one else ever could; she led me to finding hope.
Ok so this is the end of my story. I hope you enjoyed it!
One final chapter after this one - the epilogue... Please review!