I couldn't stand it. I couldn't live anymore, not without him in my life. But he didn't want me. No, he didn't want or need me.
That day in the forest was the worst day in my life, not even when James bit me was worse than that. I just wish I had been able to say goodbye to the rest of them.
Alice, Jasper, Carlisle, Esme, Emmett and even Rosalie. I was going to miss them all, especially him.I couldn't even bring myself to think his name. The house was eerily quiet. Charlie wouldn't be home for another five hours. I had enought ime to do whatever I needed to do. I just had to find a way to do it. i could use Charlie's gun,
but that was too messy, and I didn't want to make this harded on him than it was already going to be. I could clit my wrists, but that would still involve a clean up.
The only way I could think of doing it that would be easy would to I sat down to write a letter overdose on drugs with alcohol. I sat down to write a letter to Charlie:
I'm so sorry to do this to you, but I'm tired of it. I'm so tired of trying to live life one day at a time. I don't think there was ever another choice for me.
Every day since the Cullens' left, I have been dying on the inside. I am sorry, i thought I hid it from you, but I hear you talking to your friends. I am going to miss you.
Tell Renee that I love her and Phil. I'm happy that I came to live with you, Daddy. It has been the best time of my life, not only because of the people I have met, but because I got to spend the last months of my life with you.
I am so sorry. With all my love,
Your Daughter, Bella.
P.S.- I'm writing a letter to edward. As my last request, if he shall ever return, please, please give it to him. I Love You.
I knew that Edward would probably never come back. it would just be another reminder of the weak human that wasted his time.
I knew I was never good enough for you. I apologize for wasting your time, when you could've been, with another vampire, someone who is beautiful like you, not just a plain human.
I don't want you to feel bad that I did this. It was the only way I could stop the pain. I was already dying, so i thought: Why waste time? Nobody was going to miss me. Nobody that mattered anyway, except for Charlie. I don't want you to live with the guilt of my doing this. You never should have made that promise in the forest, the one about as though it would be you never existed.
Nothing would change that, you could take all the pictures and gifts your family has ever given me. You could lie about where your family has moved to, but that wouldn't change me,
I have never been one to forget something, or get over it. Just because you aren't human, doesn't change anything. i will miss all of you, and if you ever get this letter, tell everyone that I'll miss them. Tell Jasper that i don't blame him for anything, and I knew what i was getting myself into when I went to a coven of vampires house.I miss Alice and her shopping trips,
Emmett and his bear hugs, Carlisle and the way he was there ehenever i needed a doctor, Esme and her motherly love when I didn't have it, even Rosalie. I was always able to look past her meaness. I will always miss every single one of you. I love you all and I always will
I'm sorry for wasting all your guys' time,
I went down to the kitchen, got all of Charlie's beer, and the tylenol from the bathroom. I went to my room, and started swallowing all the beer and pills I could. Then, i started to drift away,
never to wake up again.
It was February 8th, five months after I left ,y life behind in Forks, five months since my i died for the second time Five months since i broke the heart of the love of my existence, Bella Swan.
I left her to protect her. IO was gping to keep her safe, even if it meant keeping myself out of her life. Everything I said about not wanting her in the forst was a lie. It was the worst thing I have ever done. I still love her, I always will. I went to go get the paper for today. We lived in Spokane, so we still got news about Forks, and it always urt. but what hurt the most, was the article on the front page.
"TEENAGE DAUGHTER OF CHIEF OF POLICE IN FORKS COMMITTS SUICIDE
Teenager Isabella (Bella) Swan was found in her bedroom on February 5th, 2006. She had consumed massive amounts of drugs and alcohol. Her father, Chief Charlie Swan came home from work about six o'clock that night, about five hours after the presumed time of death. Father Swan says there were two letters found next to her. one wwas addressed to him, and the other was addressed to someone who's name he hasn't released. Charlie has placed the letter on her grave, for the person, should he ever come to visit her grave as Isabella's last request to him. This is all the information that has been released.
The funeral was on February 7th, and everyone of Forks had gone."
"Alice! I need you to look at Forks, look for Charlie's future and Bella's! Please Just do it!" I shouted once I had seen she was about to protest. She went into a vision, and it was of all of Forks population at the cemetary. The headstone said bIsabella Marie Swan,September 13th, 1988 through February 5th 2006 Beloved Daughter and Friend/b. I fell to my knees, and sobbed tearless sobs. In the background, I could faintly here Alice telling the family that Bela was dead, that she had committed suicide as she showed them the paper.
I don't know when or how i got there, but I was suddenly aware that I was infront of her grave. it hurt so much to think that. "Bella. oh Bella." That was all that came out of my mouth for about ten minutes.
It was then that I saw the envelope that was mentioned in the paper. It had my name on it. "NO!" I shouted as I ripped it off it's place. "Please don't let it be my fault, please."
NO ONES POV
Edward was so caught up in the letter that he hadn't heard Charlie approach the grave. What Charlie saw made him stop dead in his tracks. Edward was now hunched over the grave, reading the letter out loud to himself.
When he finished, he let out a heart wrenching sob. "It was my fault," he cried." This wasn't supposed to happen! I left you to protect you Bella, this wasn't supposed to happen. You were supposed to keep living!"
Charlie was now confused. He was watching the by that had broken his only daughters heart, cry over her grave, saying that it was his fault and that it wasn't supposed to be this way.
"Everything that I told you in the forest the day I left you was a lie. I still love you Bella. I have since I first met you, and I always will. Vampires don't forget Bella. There were never any distractions.
You were always on my mind, every second of every day. I left because you shouldn't be with vampires. Ever since James started tracking you, and we left to Pheonix, I knew my being around you was a bad choice.
You were in danger every second I spent with you, Bella. I couldn't keep doing that to you. I promised I would stay as long as it was best for you, and it turns out, my leaving was the worst thing ever. Remember I told you we vampires can only be killed one way? You have to rip us aprt and burn the pieces, Bella. I told you the day of your eighteenth birthday that i couldn't live without you. I wouldn't. That still stands Bella. I'm going to go to Italy, to the Volturi. I am going to ask them to kill me. I know none of my family will help me. The Volturi will probably be suprised. I'm probably their first suicidal vampire."
Charlie was now understanding what has happened since Bella moved from Arizona. The Cullens were vampires, Edward never wanted to leave Bella, he only did it to protect her. And he was in pain, just like she was.
"Edward." Charlie said. Edward spun around at vampire speed. He was suprised to see Charlie there. "Edward, is all of what you said just now true?" he asked. Edward didn't care that Charlie had heard,
he didn't care at all about anything except that Bella was gone forever. "You left my daughter to protect her? That was a stupid move. She needs more protection than anyone out there. Edward, I had never seen her more happy, more protected than ever when she was with you. She was set on her decision. I knew something was up when she was saying things like being with you forever and all eternity in her sleep." Edward was now sobbing again, crying out Bella's name over and over. "I see how much you loved her, how much you still do. I can tell it was for her best interest that you left. But son, did you really thinnk it through? Did you really see how much it would effect her when you left? I thought it was hard when Rennee left me, but I can now tell what it looks like when you have a soul mate leave you. That's what you are to always will be, and now, I want you to think long and hard about what you are going to do. If it's going to this Volturi, than no one should try and stop you. When someone like you, or Bella make a decision, it's useless to see if you will change the end pathway. Do what you need to." That was the longest anyone had ever heard Charlie speak.
"I made my decision the day she turned eighteen, I told her and I am not changing my mind. I knwow how it feels to live without her, when I thought she was alive, but when I know she isn't, and it was already hard enough just being away from her, I know I won't be able to live." And with that, Edward fled at vampire speed. He made sure to grab the letter. When he reached his house, he gave Alice the letter and told everyone to read it. He was then on a flight to Italy, to end his life.