Summary: The Tenth is dead and all Gokudera wants is another drink until Yamamoto comes around.
Disclaimer: Katekyou Hitman Reborn! and all affiliated characters and settings are the creative property of Akira Amano, Shueisha, Weekly Shounen Jump, and any other companies holding the title to its license and distribution (VIZ Media, etc.). The storyline concept for this particular fanfiction was created in the recesses of the twisted mind of this writer but I am gaining no profit.
Warnings: spoilers, shounen ai, one shot,
…You Have Been Warned…
They had just finished laying their leader to rest in a coffin of flowers; certain he would have liked that. Tsuna had always been the gentle soul out of all of them, understanding, accepting, and caring. He wasn't one made for this position fate had dealt him but he had taken it up with only slight complaint, always wanting to protect those he cared for. Not once had he wanted anyone else to take the title of Tenth from him for fear of the power they would gain and the danger he would place those he loved and cared for in. That's why Gokudera found himself sitting in the kitchen in the underground hideout for the Vongola family at this late hour with a bottle of sake, three other's lay empty on the floor.
Pouring glass after glass for himself he drowned the pain and shame of it all in the numb feeling that the drink promised. Though he knew he wasn't the only one who was suffering for the loss of their leader, he felt shamed for not being there in the Tenths time of need. As the right hand man of the Tenth it would have only been right to be there, but he hadn't and now he found himself alive as the only person who he accepted and had ever accepted him lay dead. What more could he do tonight but drink? Tomorrow he would go to the grave site and say his final goodbye to his Tsuna before he went to his death as he sought vengeance that was rightfully his to seek. It was rightfully his…
As he drowned another glass and poured more of the sake into his now empty glass he heard the door behind him slide open. Turning his head only little since the room decided to lurch violently with his movement causing him to smirk to himself, yes he was reaching a good point of numb, but the smirk slipped from his face when he found himself looking at Yamamoto. Gokudera's mood darkened only slightly, he wanted to drink alone and not deal with the ever optimistic Yamamoto who seemed to never be affected by anything.
"Leave me alone." Gokudera mumbled out and turned back to his drink.
"I wanted to join you Gokudera, it's no fun to drink alone especially when you're in mourning. I know this from experience." Yamamoto said with that damned smile of his on his face as he walked to the table and sat beside Gokudera. "So what's our poison?"
"I'm drinking sake, you can go to hell."
Yamamoto laughed and smacked his hand on Gokudera's back, "I'll do that one day but I think tonight I'll just have some sake."
Gokudera blanched at Yamamoto's words and watched silently as he kept that stupid smile on his face as he got an empty glass and poured himself a hefty amount of sake into it. "So what were you thinking about before I decided to join you in your thoughts Gokudera?"
That brought Gokudera back and he quickly looked away and drained his glass again, "That's none of your business."
"Ah, you were thinking of revenge then?" Yamamoto said. The shock in Gokudera's face gave him away instantly and earned another laugh from Yamamoto and he placed a hand on Gokudera's shoulder, "Looks like I got a home run then."
"Still the baseball nut…" Gokudera mumbled to himself and couldn't help but wonder how Yamamoto could keep smiling when Tsuna was… Gritting his teeth he pushed back the tears, it wouldn't do to cry in front of Yamamoto. Gokudera quickly poured more sake into his cup and drank it in one swallow. "How is it you can keep smiling like that?" Gokudera found himself asking without even meaning to as he lowered the glass from his lips and picked up the bottle to add more sake.
Yamamoto blinked at the question, slightly taken aback by it, and then smiled as though it pained him slightly. "I drank like this with Tsuna once."
That confession shocked Gokudera enough to cause him to turn his head so fast he fell out of his seat. Yamamoto's reflexes were still as good, if not better, as when he was younger so he quickly grabbed Gokudera though he had not been watching his own balance and both toppled over onto the floor. Yamamoto took the brunt of the fall, cushioning the drunken Gokudera with his body so now Gokudera laid a top Yamamoto.
Not caring of their position on the floor, or how it would look if anyone else walked in on them, Gokudera sat up so their faces were even with each other as Gokudera looked down at Yamamoto. "You drank with the Tenth!?"
Yamamoto smiled at the shock in Gokudera's face, "Yes, when my old man died. I didn't know what to do with myself and the Tenth brought in a bottle of sake for us. We stayed up half the night drinking and talking… He was a good friend Tsuna, always there when you needed him and never did he want to hurt anyone. He was and will always be our leader won't he Gokudera?"
He couldn't help it, Yamamoto's words, Yamamoto's confirmation of what he'd been feeling all this time; all of it rushed Gokudera and he felt tears building again and this close to Yamamoto's face Gokudera couldn't hide them as well as he'd have liked. Trying to move away Yamamoto caught up Gokudera's waist with one of his hands and placed the other on Gokudera's cheek; "There now, if you cry Gokudera it'll be better inside and I swear I won't tell anybody… just like Tsuna never told anyone I cried when my old man died."
He was to drunk to care, that's what Gokudera told himself, to drunk. It wasn't like he trusted Yamamoto or accepted him; not like he did Tsuna, no one would ever take Tsuna's place but just this once he couldn't stop the tears and he found himself crying in someone else's presence other then Tsuna's. His cries were loud and he had to bite down on his knuckle at some points so not to wake the base, and his body shook violently with each onslaught of sobs; he was sure that Yamamoto's shirt was going to be drenched afterwards but neither seemed to care as Gokudera continued to cry for his loss and Yamamoto continued to hold onto the frail and shaking form of Gokudera. They stayed on the floor for some time, but neither knew nor cared for how long.
After some time Gokudera's sobs slowed and his shaking stopped, he had cried till he had dozed off but Yamamoto didn't mind. He smiled to himself absentmindedly as he stroked the silver locks of the man in his arms. How long had he carried this devotion for Gokudera he wondered to himself. He had gone to tell Tsuna of his feeling for Gokudera once and to get advice, but he had stopped dead when he found the two locked in a passionate kiss. Yes, he had always known that Gokudera's loyalty to Tsuna was at first devotion but had changed at some point to something far more precious, and as they grew older they both returned one another's feelings. Yamamoto stepped back from his own feelings for Gokudera and Tsuna's happiness, and Reborn had always watched and often spoke with him when he didn't need to. True enough that Gokudera was Tsuna's right hand but Yamamoto had become Reborn's protégé.
He understood that Gokudera hurt terribly for his loss of Tsuna but he had to talk him out of his need for revenge and quickly or else another coffin will be placed in the woods beside Tsuna's and Yamamoto highly doubted he could stand living with out seeing Gokudera alive. As Yamamoto brushed one of his sword callused hands across Gokudera's cheek Gokudera turned his head away making a whimpering noise and whispered Tsuna's name in a voice Yamamoto had a feeling no one was ever meant to hear. It spoke of passion, of longing, of guilt, of loss, all in that one word.
Yamamoto felt his heart pull and lifted his hand to cover his eyes, 'Keep smiling, just keep smiling.' He said to himself in his head as a mantra. "I'm sorry I wasn't there in time Gokudera… I'm sorry… You should blame me more then yourself, I was the one who was supposed to protect Tsuna in Reborn's place." He whispered silently as his hand slipped away so he looked at the roof light. He felt the prickle of his own tears beginning to build in his eyes as he laid there, "I'm sorry Tsuna."
A/N: Thus ends this one shot, I hope you guys liked it! So I'm a fan of oh so many pairings for this anime and I couldn't decide which one to go with, as you can tell, so I just went with Gokudera/Tsuna(dead), (Unrequited)Yamamoto/Gokudera because I'm just so evil like that. So there was a pairing prior to the story but sadly one of them met a tragic end in the anime (season four) and I wanted to have that middle area no one see's or knows of prior to Tsuna and Gokudera meeting in the woods. Now mind you I have an OVER active imagination and Tsuna tends to jump around in my head… but oddly it seems every time he does it's a different universe when he does because no one knows of the previous actions done with other characters. Oh Tsuna you dog!
But yeah, that's all for this category for now. Again I hope you all liked it; tell me what you thought.