Title: Failing Truth
Summary: There were five things Egor absolutely realized when it concerned himself. Slight spoilers for book three.
Disclaimer: I, Batsu, in no way own Night Watch, nor its characters. This bit of genius is all Sergei Lukyanenko's.
Ever since Egor met Anton, since he learned the dirty truth behind the Night Watch—and the Order of the Light was not as bright as it would like to make itself seem—he had only realized a few things concerning himself.
One: Egor was destined to become a Dark Magician, as they all so kindly kept reminding him.
Two: Egor did not believe in this destiny. Sure, he was put off by what the Night Watch was. Who wouldn't have been had they seen what he had seen and heard things from Anton's own mouth with confirmation from the boss himself, Boris Ignatievich? But why should he believe that the Day Watch would be any different?
Three: Egor only wanted to do what was right. The boy found this truth about himself hard to analyze. Who knew exactly what was "right"? The Night Watch liked to speak their truth in the same way that the Day Watch did. No, after being involved in too many of their games, Egor did not believe in either of their "right".
Four: Egor found that, with decreasing hesitancy, his version of "right" and "truth" was beginning to mirror that of Anton's.
Anton, who had saved him, who had enlightened him, who had failed him.
What did a young boy know of the failures of life? More than other people realized. More than Anton realized.
Egor realized that Anton's only failure was the failing ability to trust in himself.
Possibly, he wasn't quite the person that he should have been idolizing. Weren't the heroes supposed to be the ones who were confident and righteous? Self-assured? They weren't bumbling abut, making huge, leaping guesses that may or may not be anywhere close to correct. Perhaps, deep down inside of himself, that was the precise reason why Egor seemed to admire the man whom he regarded as his savior and destroyer, potential friend and future enemy.
Maybe the whole reason was because, Egor thought and felt, Anton was much more of a human being than an Other.
"I have a choice for you, Egor," the Night Watch boss said to him as Egor came out of his apartment building. He jumped, but only slightly. Part of him would always jump. Part of him would always know that they were waiting.
The boy frowned. Choice? What choice? According to them, he had already made his choice long before he had the chance to even think on it. "What?"
Beside the strange man stood a woman. Egor looked her over, vaguely remembering her from before. She was there, after the crazed man was stopped from killing him and Anton. His frown grew deeper. He remembered the way that Anton had looked her over carefully, eyes full of some deep emotions. Passion, maybe. Awe, definitely. He could recognize awe.
The woman smiled at him. She was pretty, even beautiful in a way. Egor could approve in Anton's choice. Something about her radiated at him. Light. Greatness. Power. She was all of those things wrapped in one neat package, smartly dressed, smartly fixed. Why was she looking at him like that? It was as though she were pleading with him. If he looked into the Twilight, just took a moment to see beyond his "human" sight, what would he see?
With narrowed eyes, he glanced back and forth between the two. The boss seemed to be calm, patient even, as though he already knew the hesitation forming within the boy's mind. He probably did. "Well?" Egor asked, prompting one of them to answer him again.
"You have the choice to be great, Egor," the woman said to him in a nice voice. Soothing and believable. Did he believe in her? Did Anton?
"To be great," he repeated doubtfully. He shifted his stance, staring at the two of them with a cool expression. "Great how? Why would you be helping me? Isn't my destiny supposed to be with the Dark Ones?"
"We could change all of that," the boss said. Mistrust flooded the boy.
And so they explained to him, simply, that Svetlana—Anton's girl, he knew—would open up his destiny for him to be a great leader of the Light, and isn't that what he wanted? To do right?
How did they know that? Did they snoop into his thoughts? Just plucked them out right from his head the moment he had them, as though nothing could really be his ever?
He wasn't buying it. Why him? Why now?
Svetlana leaned forward, her hand on his shoulder, her fingers squeezing gently into his flesh. She looked him in the eyes. Egor glared at her. "Anton will be there. He wants this."
Five: Egor would never admit it, because he wasn't sure how he felt about Anton. Was he in hero worship? Did he hate the man for doing what he did? Maybe Egor should have been vampire food. Whatever it was, Egor knew... He had a strange want to make Anton proud.
And if Anton thought this would be the way to save Egor finally...