Disclaimer: I don't own this series or any other series. I am just floating an idea. I am making no money, nor plan to, off this venture. If you think of suing me over this, then grow up.
I would like to first personally thank all of those reviewing my stories. I enjoy reading your comments, and try to correct the grammatical errors I miss with my final read-through as well as my spell checkers. The suggestions you all make will help make this story better for everyone to enjoy, as well as allow me to fix some plot holes I may unintentionally leave. If you find any, let me know, and I will correct them and repost the chapters.
New Loop #1:
Ichigo sighed as he walked towards school. It was yet another boring Loop. Once again, he'd either have to head over to the Urahara Shop to begin his 'acceptance' into the ranks of the Shinigami. Oh, he could still kick a Hollow's ass, but it was never the same without Zangetsu.
Sighing, he strode towards the school. It would be at least a few more hours before he could see once more if his Shinigami abilities—and those of his Vizard and Hollow natures—were still with him.
Of course, as always with ruts, something made by Chaos comes along to disrupt it.
"KUROSAKI-KUN!" cried an excited voice, as the strawberry-haired future Vizard was tackled to the ground.
"I-Inoue!" Ichigo gasped, as the busty girl nuzzled into him.
"I'm so happy to see you, Kurosaki-kun!" cried the girl. Orhime smiled, even as she settled—much to Ichigo's embarrassment—onto his lap. "I was worried I would forget Kurosaki-kun like he said I always did. So I used all my power in my Shun Shun Rikka to reject the loss of my memories in the Loop so that I could stay with Kurosaki-kun!" she finished in excitement.
Ichigo could only blink as she hugged him once more. Someone … someone remembered aside from him. He almost felt … giddy.
Standing quickly—which caused Orihime to wrap her legs around his waist so that she didn't get dropped to the concrete—he held her close. "You … you remember it all?" he asked, voice weak in hope.
She nodded happily, neither noticing the odd looks they were getting from their classmates.
"I even have something from the last Loop," she said, searching inside her book bag.
Before Ichigo could wonder what it was—as she already had the hairpins on her head, but one never really knew with Orihime—another voice interrupted them.
"HOW DARE YOU?" screeched a familiar voice. "How dare you steal away the purity that is my Princess?" yelled the resident lesbian: Chizuru Honshō. Her voice made Ichigo wish that Tatsuki was around to smash her away.
"… Steal?" asked Ichigo, looking down and finally noticing the intimate embrace he had Orihime in. He tried to drop her—from shock and definitely not on purpose, no matter what others would say—but her legs stayed locked tight.
Not noticing, Orihime released his waist as she stood on her own, ignoring the nervous Ichigo or the quickly approaching Chizuru. "Ah!" she said, pulling out a book.
Ichigo recognized the book. It was not a bad read—not that he'd ever admit to reading it—but it was something left behind by the self-declared tanned Goddess who told him the truth about the Loops.
It was titled: Icha Icha Paradise: The Trio of Love.
"Eep!" said the soon-to-be Substitute Shinigami and the lesbian, as Orihime handed him the book and used her free hands to goose the both of them.
"I talked to Rangiku about it," she said with a perverse smile. "And she said I should use this book to explore my inner desires.
"So today after classes, I want you both to come over so we can reenact the chapter where the mighty samurai is asked by both the clan heads to take them into his bedroom," she finished with a smile, before heading towards class.
Ichigo just stared. For some reason, another person 'awake' during the Loop was feeling … bad, very, very bad.
Chizuru just blinked. She could have her forbidden love with Orihime, but … she'd have to do so with this … male. Oh well, I can always kill him later if he dare touches me or my Princess in ways that make her … upset.
The duo paled as they saw Tatsuki before them, staling their way, rolling up her sleeves, murder on her mind.
Ichigo gulped, wondering how short this Loop was about to become.
New Loop #2:
"So," said Kenpachi, emotion gone from his voice, "is that him?"
Yachiru nodded happily, remembering her actions in the previous Loop. "Yep, Ken-chan! That is the stud who made me a woman!"
Of course, she knew what she was referring to. In that Loop, Ichigo had been made a provisional captain of a new Division 14, specifically based on Earth to guard and defend the location that could be used to make a new Key.
Being a fresh teen with a crush on the one man to ever defeat Kenpachi in a battle, she got transferred—they were happy to send her away from Soul Society from some reason, even threw her a going away party, but strangely forgot to invite her—and proceeded to deal with her crush the way every woman in the Division 11 did.
She knocked him out, tied him naked to a bed, and had her way with him until she was satisfied. Hell, she even had Orihime heal his stuff after he complained it would never work again. Guess I was just too much woman for him, she thought with a giggle.
Of course, Kenpachi didn't know any of this. All he knew was of Yachiru, the pinkette child; not Yachiru, the teen heartthrob. As such, he was intent on killing the ryoka who dared touch his precious charge and do such things to.
Blinking, he turned; focusing on his zanpakuto, noticing it seemed to vibrate in rage as well, wanting to punish the lolicon for his actions as well.
Well, well; looks like you want to fight as well. Guess we can do something together, just this once… "Well Yachiru, shall we go say hi?"
New Loop #3:
Ichigo sighed as he looked around. He was back at home, back to the day he first met Rukia, back to the day he first became a Shinigami.
"Man, what a gyp," he murmured, as he walked towards school. The monotony of things were beginning to take a toll on him. Sure, he enjoyed taking down his major foes like they were first-graders, but he was missing … the challenge of it all.
There were after all only so many ways one could kill Aizen and still be funny.
"Man, what I wouldn't give for something new," he murmured.
If this was after a Fused Loop, a certain pigtailed martial artist could have warned him never to say such a thing. But sadly, our Looping Shinigami never had that bit of advice. So…
"N-N-NEL!" cried Ichigo, as he opened his eyes, spotting the very familiar green-haired Arrancar now laying on top of him, hugging him close to her bountiful chest.
The Arrancar nodded happily.
"What are you doing here?" asked the stunned teen.
"Well, I was with you on Earth when everything went real wavy. And then I was back in Hueco Mundo. When I realized you weren't around, I came right here to Karakura Town to find you!" she said happily.
Ichigo blinked. "But … how are you an Arrancar now? Aizen doesn't have the Hōgyoku yet."
"Why would I need to have that used on me again?" she asked with confusion.
"Not very smart, King," his Inner Hollow responded. "Have you forgotten? Just as we retain everything we undergo, so might the semi-loli…"
You are so not getting free this Loop.
Sighing, Ichigo gave Nel a quick rundown on the essence of the Infinite Loop—at least as he understood it from the dominatrix Goddess that had explained it to him—why else would she have worn all that leather and spoken with a heavy European accent?
"Wow…" murmured the girl. "So … I can help you out now!" she finished cheerfully.
His mouth opened to respond—wanting to remind her that aside from her, no other Arrancar existed at the moment—when he clicked it shut. This was something new, just like he had asked for. And it would be not only nice to shock the hell out of Rukia when she arrived to have Nel with him—not to mention assaulting Soul Society with her—but it would give him some new experiences. "Sure," he finished with a smile. "I guess we should head over to Urahara's shop and see if we can get you a gigai."
"Oh, can we get some for Pesche and Dondochakka as well," she said.
Ichigo twitched. "Um … do they remember too?"
She nodded happily.
In another Looping Universe, a pigtailed teen felt the sudden urge to laugh.
"So … where are they?"
"Oh, they said they wanted to see a friend."
"WAH!" cried Pesche, dodging more Quincy arrows. "Renji, was it something we said?"
"We're sorry if you don't like to be hugged, don'tcha know!" cried Dondochakka.
Uryū Ishida huffed as he drew back his bow, an arrow of reishi forming. Why are these powerful Hollows after me? Is this another trick from the Shinigami to remove the last Quincy?
New Loop #4:
Ichigo had no doubt that had he not had some access to his Shinigami and Hollow abilities, he would be dead now. It wasn't even really fair. He had yet to even make it to Uruhara's shop to pick up Kon or anything to escape his body and assume his spiritual form.
Well, that and Byakuya Kuchiki was reduced to only twenty percent of his power, even with his Bankai released.
"Stand and fight, Kurosaki; so that you may die with some honor," Byakuya said in his normal emotionless tone, as he directed the millions of sakura-colored blade fragments in an attempt to slaughter the human.
"What the hell did I ever do to you?" Ichigo cried out, wondering why no one was helping him. Oh wait, right; I haven't met them yet.
"You will die from what I learned at the last Shinigami Women's Association," he responded.
"What the hell?" yelled Ichigo. "I haven't even been to Soul Society yet!"
"It was a series of drawings left by Rukia."
… Oh … shit! He wasn't liking where this was going. If Rukia remembered how they had been in the last Loop…
"You shall die for defiling my sister," Byakuya stated, a hint of anger in his voice—which meant he was seriously pissed.
"WAH!" cried Isshin, darting onto the scene. "How could me son have fallen to plucking the beautiful flowers of—URK!"
He not had a few cuts on his leg where he hadn't made his escape quick enough, but it was definitely worth it to strike at his old man. "If you want to actually be useful; stop him!" yelled Ichigo.
"Fine, ungrateful whelp," snorted the former Shinigami. "Kuchiki-sama, I humbly beg that you do not kill my son."
"Well, I tried."
"WHAT?" yelled Ichigo.
"Well you should have considered this before taking his sister as you did," nodded the father solemnly.
"So just because Rukia drew us doing it Chappie-style, I have to die?" Ichigo asked in shock.
"Very well, we are in agreement," said Byakuya.
Working to draw in enough energy for a Cero he hoped would be strong enough and shocking enough to give him time to find a way out of his body; Ichigo prayed this day wouldn't get any worse.
"At this point," said Rukia, flipping to the next drawing, "Ichigo moved on to using a move called the French Flipper Trick."
The teacher's tick was growing. "Ms. Kuchiki, when I asked if anyone wanted to discuss what they did on their weekend for the class, this was not what I had in mind."
New Loop #5:
Rukia stared hard at her readings from the Hollow Sensor. Something … odd was messing it up, making it extremely difficult to get a reading on the Hollow she was tracking.
"Excuse me?" came a confused female voice.
Rukia ignored the human's voice. No human could see her, after all.
"Yo," came a male's voice, "short girl with the bad haircut and the shoddy black robes!"
Rukia blinked at that. No, they couldn't be talking about her.
Of course, the shoe bouncing off her head sort of dispelled that notion. "Hey!" she yelled, turning to face the source of the voices.
And immediately turned back around. "GAH! I'm sorry!"
"I seriously doubt that," snorted the male voice. "You came into my room through the window. What were you expecting to happen?"
"Well I wasn't expecting that!" yelled Rukia. "Besides, people can't see Shinigami!"
"So that gives you the right to come into my bedroom and wander around, pervert!" yelled the male voice.
"Oh, go easy on her, Kurosaki-kun," said the female voice. "Maybe Shinigami don't get to have sex in the afterlife. That's really sad that all they can do is watch."
"We can do more than watch!" replied Rukia, before blushing harshly. "I mean… We do…"
"Do whatever you want, pervert," snorted Ichigo.
"Wait," he said after a few minutes, "I know you. You're Rukia Kuchiki!"
Rukia blinked. How did this orange-haired human know her?
"Is she always peeping on you, Kurosaki-kun?" asked Inoue. "Maybe she desires to join you like I am?"
"That's not it," waved off Ichigo. "I know because everyone knows the Kuchiki clan in Soul Society are nothing but perverts."
"WHAT?" yelled Rukia, anger overcoming her embarrassment as she turned around.
Sure enough, as before, the duo were nude and on the bed, the bountiful redhead—not that Rukia was jealous or anything—was on top in a position that made it quite obvious what the couple had been up to before Rukia entered the room. How did I miss that?
Ichigo just snorted. "Everyone knows Byakuya Kuchiki was the main reason Yoruichi left Soul Society, his constant sexual harassment forced her away. He was always grabbing her chest and asking her to call him 'Little Byakuya' like some sick little pet name."
"Wow," said Inoue. "So her being a pervert is a family trait?"
Ichigo nodded as best as he could from the bottom.
Rukia just stared, not sure of what to do now. She could defend her brother—surely, he didn't grope the former missing Captain of the Second Division, but that would mean continuing to stare at the couple who now that she was looking, had not interrupted their … act because they were chatting with her. She could run, but her family's honor would be sullied—plus the fact the window was by the bed and she had no idea if she could get around them without … touching them.
Luckily, the decision was taken from her hands by the sound of a Hollow's roar.
"Well, what are you waiting for, pervert?" demanded Ichigo. "Get out there and deal with that Hollow!"
"Feel free to stop by afterwards," offered Inoue. "You can keep Kurosaki-kun busy while I make dinner!"
Rukia took her chance and fled.
"Well, that was fun," chuckled Ichigo. Nothing ever topped the Loops where Rukia tried to prove she wasn't a pervert.
Inoue just nodded.
"Um … Inoue? We can stop now."
"Kurosaki-kun, we cannot leave such a thing unfinished," she said innocently.
Her eyes narrowed. "I have studied really hard, Kurosaki-kun."
"Um … that's nice, Inoue."
"And the one thing that was agreed in all those books was that it was very, very, very bad to leave a guy with something called Blue Balls."
"Inoue … where did you get those books?"
"Oh, Kon was kind enough to recommend a few."
"Now, I believe the one line from the movie Kon had me watch went like this," she murmured, before…
"WHAT'S MY NAME, BITCH?"
New Loop #5:
Rukia blinked, not really certain how she was supposed to take this.
She had fled from Karakura town and Ichigo to save them, knowing it was a matter of time before those sent by Soul Society tracked her down, sending this time not only her friend Renji, but her brother as well.
The Quincy trying to save her was also unexpected, but he fell quickly to Renji's attacks.
What was completely unexpected was the sight now before her; namely a Vice-Captain and Captain down on the ground, severely beaten, with Ichigo standing above them, wearing a fake pair of glasses and holding a clipboard.
"As I said early, Captain Kuchiki," said Ichigo, fingering several pages, "since you have failed to offer proper and authorized documentation for the apprehension and transport of one Rukia Kuchiki, A.K.A. the Chappie Fiend, I cannot legally allow you to exit the Human World with her with the express intent of trying her."
Byakuya stared at the substitute Shinigami, eyes narrowed. How had he lost? Surely, this fool hadn't had more power than what Byakuya himself had, let alone what was suppressed so that he could enter the Human World.
"As with Section 23-B of the Soul Society Constitution as of 1872, you must have proper written authorization from both the Captain Commander of Soul Society, a Mr. … let me see … ah, a Shigekuni Yamamoto-Genryūsai as well as the signatures of all members of the Central 46, after of course they are replaced."
"Replaced?" coughed Renji.
Ichigo nodded, flipping through several more pages. "Ah, yes; it says here they were slaughtered recently by one … Captain Sōsuke Aizen. So I imagine assigning new members and cleaning up Central 46 of all that blood will require at the bare minimum of three weeks.
"Until then, you are free to return to Soul Society. I shall keep a close watch on Ms. Kuchiki to ensure she causes no more legal concerns. Good day."
Byakuya reached for his zanpakutō, hoping to be able to stop this pretender. "Scatter, Sen—URK!" he cried, as Ichigo kicked him in the ribs, launching him into a nearby light pole.
"I said good day!" bellowed Ichigo. With that, he stomped his foot, opening a portal to the amazement of all watching—hidden and in the open—that displayed one of the four Gates of Soul Society, before tossing the two beaten Shinigami through, and closing it.
"Why can't people just follow simple procedure," Ichigo muttered, signing the papers several times before slipping the clipboard into his robes. "I swear, ever since they gave Aizen a place there, these people can't follow simple procedures worth a damn.
"Now then, Rukia; I'm afraid I will have to place you under house arrest at Orihime's place. Now will you come willingly or must I subdue you as well?"
New Loop #6:
Ichigo waited for the right moment. Too soon and the prank would be destroyed. Too late and the prank would be confined to too small of a space to be effective.
Soon, the wind began to pick up, preparing to launch the Rescue Rukia team into different sections of Soul Society. Smiling that the cloud cover was obscuring him, he pulled out a small package and tossed it up, knowing that because of its design, it would open and scatter the prank inside.
Thus, the wind and the prank took off.
"Well then," said Kenpachi, looking at the lights of the forms above him, "which one is the strongest?"
"Hey Ken-chan, look!" cried out Yachiru, as a few pictures came floating down to them.
Somewhat confused, Kenpachi grabbed the closet one and looked at it. As he gazed down the picture, he snorted, wondering who had caught the Lieutenant of the Tenth Division that drunk to pose for such things.
"Hey, Ken-chan, look at that!" cried Yachiru, pointing at a spot further down the picture than Kenpachi had looked over. "She's got a peenee!"
Blinking, the Captain lowered his eye until… "Huh, who knew."
"I don't get it," muttered Ganju, spotting yet another group of Shinigami, huddled together, crying and occasionally throwing up. "What the hell is the matter with them?"
"No clue," smirked Ichigo from behind him, trying not to laugh.
"People are staring at us, Rangiku."
"Oh, I'm sure that it's all in your imagination, Captain," waved off the Tenth's Lieutenant as they made their way towards the Meeting Hall.
"Did you do something?"
"Me? Why Captain, I should feel insulted you would insinuate that I would do something to deserve such attention."
"I merely ask because a few are turning green and becoming sick; so I wonder if perhaps you offered to make some food at the cafeteria again."
"No; I'm pretty sure I didn't pour my booze in anything today…"
Toshiro just twitched slightly, as a nervous subordinate bowed before him.
"Sir, I bring … well…"
"Spit it out," growled Toshiro.
"Um … these appeared all over Soul Society at the time the ryoka invaded," the man murmured, holding out the folded photo. Once his Captain took it from him, he ran like hell.
"What is it, Captain?" asked Rangiku, looking over the Captain's head while forcing his in-between her cleavage.
"That's what I'm trying to find out," Toshiro growled, as he unfolded the photo, wondering what could possible scare one of his subordinates.
"… Oh my," said Rangiku, "this is really embarrassing, Captain. I had no idea you were having people take nude photos of me for your own pleasure."
"You know, Captain; you could have asked."
"I mean, it would ruin you for all other women."
"Look at the lower half of the photo."
"What the hell was that?" asked Ganju, looking around. "I've never heard a scream like that before."
Ichigo nodded. "I think someone got some very bad news," he said with a bright smile.
Ganju looked at his smiling face and could only sigh. Man, Shinigami are so weird…
"We must slaughter them all!" yelled Rangiku. "We must crush them to a fine powder! We must ensure the streets of Soul Society run red with their blood!"
"My, you seem pretty blood thirsty today, Rangiku," said Gin.
Toshiro coughed into his hand, gaining his fellow captain's attention, before passing him the photo.
Gin unfolded it, looking it over, before to the amazement of all, his eyes actually opened wide. "… Damn."
"It's not real!" yelled Rangiku.
"If you say so," said Gin, folding the photo and handing it back to Toshiro.
"I can prove it!" yelled the distressed Lieutenant. "Look!" she yelled, opening her robes.
"Hey, Jiji," muttered Kyōraku, "we really need to do some work on the ceiling." Like all others in the room, they were all staring now at the ceiling. Sure, Rangiku might have been telling the truth—a startling first.
Nevertheless, why take the chance.
"Damn it! I do not have a penis!"
New Loop #7:
Ranma said there'd be days like this.
Of course, that one phrase did little to comfort him now, especially after the latest … hiccup. According to what was told to him were the Rules of the Loops, he could consider this a FUBAR Loop, if only because of what surrounded him now.
Gigai designed by Szayel, each one containing an Arrancar that in the previous Loop had become devoted servants of Emperor Kurosaki I. In the last Loop, he had decided to spend his free time in Hueco Mundo, trying to throw a wrench in Aizen's plans to see if it made the Loop more challenging.
He certainly hadn't expected to conquer it on the first day.
And he certainly hadn't expected the grand battle at the end that leveled a good bit of all three worlds to lead to this.
"So … um … son," stumbled Isshin, "who are your … friends?"
Ichigo blinked, before smacking himself in the forehead. Since his father had been a former Shinigami Captain, it was obvious he'd be able to detect the Hollow-energies inside Ichigo's personal guard.
Sadly, for Ichigo, one of his guard decided to answer the question before the Looping teen could try to devise one.
"We are Lord Kurosaki-sama's personal guard while within the Living World!" shouted Loly with her usual fanatical enthusiasm. "We are here to offer ourselves to protect our Lord from the hands of the foul Shinigami seeking to punish him for his plans of dominance!"
The assembled Kurosaki family each weakly smiled as sweatdrops appeared on their heads.
Sighing, Ichigo looked towards his father.
"O … kay," muttered Isshin, wondering exactly how he was supposed to treat this. "And is there a reason you are all female?"
Menoly snorted. "They're … busy."
"Come on, Ulquiorra!" yelled Yammy, holding a bag of money and his constantly yapping Hollow dog. "I want more of these taco-things now!"
Ulquiorra merely stared at his fellow Espada. "Do remember not to destroy the place this time after you have been fed."
Yammy could only snort. "They were the ones who ran out of those taco-thingies."
Not wanting to spend more time with his family than he had to now—mainly because the longer he stayed, the longer his father had to fall back onto his standard routine and try to embarrass his son before the six Arrancar females, Ichigo stood up. He'd rather get to school and see what else might be different thanks to the latest hiccup in his life.
It was going to be hard enough to keep Chizuru from trying to grope the more … defined Arrancar females in his guard.
Why do I feel like I'm forgetting something, something that will likely bit me in the ass later?
Rukia stared at her Hollow tracking phone, before handing it back to Urahara. "Damn it, why do they keep blowing up like that?"
Kisuke just shrugged. "Well, they are pretty sensitive. Maybe a powerful Hollow out there overloads it. Give me a moment to try a low-sensitivity test and see what I come up with."
New Loop #8:
"Um … oops," muttered Ichigo.
"Oops?" asked Uryū Ishida. "Kurosaki, do you have any idea what you just did?"
"Well, yeah," said Ichigo. "I think I got us in to Soul Society."
Yoruichi looked up at him, still in her cat form. "That wall and gate were made out of Sekkiseki stone. There is no way in hell any blast should have obliterated the door like that."
"Well, looks like you were wrong," motioned Ichigo.
True, the gate was gone.
Also gone were most of the wall on either side of the Gate and everything within a kilometer in the direction of the Gate.
"Um … excuse me," interrupted Orihime. "But what was that mask thing Kurosaki-kun did? And why did he fire a super powerful red beam of death from it?"
Ichigo just scratched the back of his head. Who knew his Hollow form's Cero was that powerful?
"Boy, King; you really fucked up this time."
"Have anything you want to say to us, Ichigo?" asked Yoruichi, glaring at him.
"You're not going to go 'naked woman' on me, are you?"
"Wrong move, King; wrong move."
New Loop #9:
Ichigo sighed happily as he leaned back in his desk at school. Yes, he felt it was time to take a well-deserved vacation Loop. He was a little tired of dealing with everything: Shinigami, Hollows, Arrancar, Vizards—or was it Vizoreds—and the assholes released whenever Aizen completed his Key.
Nope, it was time for him to relax. School wasn't an issue—he probably knew the material better than the teachers at this point. That was assuming he stayed in school. Perhaps it was time to take a road trip, see the country, maybe live life like a rebellious teenager.
It wasn't as if anything bad would happen to the ones he cared for. Sure, they might get slaughtered, but the Loop would reset and they'd all be fine. Worse case he could unlock his father's powers and send him off to battle.
Or turn Chizuru into a Shinigami? That could be fun.
Nodding at the possibility of a plan, Ichigo opened his eyes and—"GAH!"
Kneeling on his desk, glaring at him, were a pair of eyes he'd hope to not have to deal with.
"What do you think you're doing, Ichigo?"
"W-w-w-what are you doing here?" Ichigo yelled out, pointing at said figure.
The figure snorted before hopping off. "I was hoping you could tell me," she said quietly. "Tell me, Ichigo; why is everything back to the day we met?"
Ichigo paled, crab walking backwards, desperately hoping it wasn't true—especially after what he had done to her in the previous Loop.
Rukia … was awake!