I promised you all more, so here it is. This one is a bit more angsty than my other Spock/Uhura fics but I wanted to write it anyways. Since I love Spock with emotion so much, I figured I'd write something with sad emotions. This one sort of goes along with the others, but it's not necessary to read those, I don't think. You'll just be a little confused at first.
Title: Night Terrors
Summary: Something wasn't right. The way Spock was holding me wasn't romantic or loving. It felt scarier than that.
I clasped Spock's hand softly and gave him a peck on the cheek as I reluctantly made my way into my room.
"I will see you tomorrow." he said quietly, releasing my hand.
"Definitely." I agreed before his lips met mine for just a second. He pulled away and a small smile appeared on his lips. I smiled back and then he walked away towards his quarters.
I mulled over all the happenings of the last few days as I prepared to go to sleep. It all seemed like such a fast blur. One night Spock and I were making love for the first time, another night he's proposing. I looked down at my ring and tears pricked at my eyes. Happy tears only, of course. I brushed the stone with my finger and sighed. For the first time, I couldn't wait to get off of the Enterprise so that Spock and I could start planning our wedding. Our wedding. I grinned as I brushed my hair and tied it into a loose pony tail.
I crawled into my bed, underneath my blankets that still smelled like Spock from when he stayed last night. As much as we'd like to, we couldn't spend every night together. It was not only unprofessional, but very tiring. My cheeks reddened slightly as I drifted off to sleep. To dream about Spock, no doubt.
Something was talking to me. Or someone, I couldn't tell. I opened my eyes and looked around in the darkness. There was a flashing light on my dresser as something spoke to me.
"Spock to Uhura." a choked voice said.
I jumped out of my bed and my head spun at the sudden movement. I pressed the button on my communicator.
"Yes?" I said.
"Did I wake you?" Spock's voice said.
"It's alright. Are you okay?" I asked.
"I was wondering if it might be alright for me to see you." Spock said.
"Of course. Do you want me to come to your quarters?" I asked.
"No. I will be there shortly. Spock out."
There was nothing. I put my communicator back on the dresser as I wondered what Spock could possibly need at- I looked at my clock -three AM.
"Computer, dim lights." I said and the lights came on to a dim setting. There was a beep at my door intercom.
"May I come in?"
I typed my key code and before I had the chance to say anything, Spock pulled me against him roughly. It almost knocked the wind out of me.
Something wasn't right. The way Spock was holding me wasn't romantic or loving. It felt scarier than that and I didn't know how to react other than to wrap my arms around his neck. He was breathing deeply, his fingers knotted in my baggy night shirt. I was beginning to get worried.
"Spock, what is it? Did something happen?" I asked, rubbing the back of his neck.
He didn't speak, but I felt the movement of his head going back and forth. I bit my lip as he held me, almost as if he was scared to let me go. It was then that I felt the wetness on my shoulder. I pulled back, with some effort, and looked at him to see that his eyes were red and puffy and his cheeks were tear stained.
"Spock!" I exclaimed.
"I am sorry. I should not have woken you, but I did not know what else to do." he said.
"No, no, no, don't apologize." I said, shaking my head as I wiped the tears off of his face with my palm. "It's fine. You have permission to wake me up whenever you want to." I said seriously, looking him in his bloodshot eyes. "What happened?"
"I was asleep, dreaming. At first I was with my mother, on Vulcan. We were on our balcony, just watching each other. She was smiling at me and then suddenly, you were standing next to her. You hugged her, as if you'd known her forever." he said quietly and I braced myself, waiting for the horror to come. "And then the planet was crashing around us...and the both of you...You were screaming at me, begging me to help you!" Spock choked. "But I couldn't! I could not do anything. I was frozen where I stood and then you both fell, screaming-" he stopped there as a sob shook him. I pulled him against me as my own tears threatened to fall.
"Shh, I'm right here." I whispered. "I'm not going anywhere." I said softly, kissing the side of his face.
"You are not at liberty to make that promise." he whispered as he held me tightly.
"I'll live in a bubble if I have to." I said. "Don't worry. I'm here now, okay?" I said, looking him the eyes again.
"My mother never will be." he whispered and my heart broke at the raw pain in his expression. At this moment, I preferred stoic, emotionless Spock to this broken hearted, overcome with sorrow Spock.
I didn't know how to respond, so I simply pulled him towards my bed and curled beneath the blankets with him, his head on my chest as he held me tightly. My bed shook with his sobs as I tried to hold mine back, running my fingers through his hair.
For an hour, we laid like that. Him sobbing on my chest with his arm in a death grip around my waist while I murmured reassurances and kissed his forehead. After an hour, his grip loosened and his sobs ended. He'd fallen asleep. I sighed with relief, glad that he wasn't torturing himself anymore. I knew he blamed himself for his mother's death, but I had no idea how to convince him otherwise.
I took a deep breath and cursed myself for doing so when he stirred. His head raised and he looked at me, his eyes still puffy and red.
"Hello." I whispered, caressing his cheek.
"I am terribly sorry for waking you." he said quietly.
"Don't worry about it." I said, shaking my head. "I already said you can wake me up whenever. There is no need to say sorry." I whispered.
He didn't say anything. He just stared off, his eyes focused on somewhere far away. I kissed his head softly.
"I love you." I whispered.
"I love you as well, very much." he replied, hugging my tightly. "But perhaps I should go back to my room." he said as he started to get up.
"No." I stated bluntly. "Stay." I added in a softer tone.
"I have already kept you up long enough, Nyota. I should go." he said before kissing me softly.
"Please, Spock? Just stay for tonight." I said. "I'll be worried about you if you leave now."
He looked at me and an almost smile appeared. "Alright then. If it will put you at ease." he nodded, laying back down.
He rested his head on my chest again and I held him close. He took a deep breath but it wasn't to relax him. It felt as if he was trying to memorize my scent. I smiled slightly before kissing his head again.
"Good night, Nyota. May your dreams be far better than mine." he whispered.
"They will be with you here." I replied before we were both silent, drifting off together.
Some angsty Spock/Uhura goodness. Yay!
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