In Loving Memory of My Ex
Disclaimer: I do not own South Park.
WARNING: Rape and suicide occur. If you're easily squeamish, don't read it. Nuff' said!
Tweek looked up into Craig's eyes, their hands clasped between them. He could see so much hurt, so many tears threatening to fall, but he just had to make his boyfriend understand. No, ex-boyfriend now. Tweek didn't know how to explain it to him, didn't understand it himself. He just knew he couldn't do it anymore, he was giving up. And to make Craig leave it alone, leave him and take what he said to heart, Tweek lied through his teeth in the most sincere voice he could muster.
"Craig, I'm sorry, it's over," Tweek said firmly, trying not to cry himself. He almost choked on his words. Almost. He wanted so much to look away from those piercing blue eyes, but they wouldn't let him. And it only made things harder. "Craig, I…I don't love you anymore!" The words fell out abruptly. Lies. All of them. And yet, they fell out anyways. Because Tweek knew he had to, he just wish it didn't hurt him as much as it was hurting Craig. And still, Tweek felt his heart tighten.
Craig gaped at Tweek, tears stinging his eyes at the words fell out. Craig had never been one for being a pansy, but he had never had to deal with something that suddenly hurt so much. And they were just words! But they were words that meant everything. Five words that changed everything and spoke thousands. And so Craig dismissed the pain he thought he saw in Tweek's eyes, dismissed the look of apology he thought he saw on Tweek's face, and looked away. Tweek cast his own feet downwards and let go of Craig's hand. Craig didn't look back up, just stood there. Tweek leaned up on his tiptoes, cupping Craig's face, and kissed the taller boy's forehead. It didn't do anything for Craig, but for a moment it consoled Tweek. Only a moment.
Finally Tweek turned away –if he stayed any longer he'd take it back. And Tweek couldn't take it back, he just /couldn't/. And even though his words made it seem like it was for his own sake, Tweek knew it was for Craig's. It was for Craig's sake that Tweek was leaving, saying goodbye. And he knew Craig would never understand, so Tweek would continue playing the role of the inconsiderate bitch. It was all Craig knew, and Tweek couldn't let Craig lose pride. So he walked away and left Craig there, trying not to cry.
Craig was never good with goodbyes. He couldn't deal with death, he couldn't deal with loss, he couldn't deal with goodbyes of any kind. Because Craig would cry, and if Craig cried he would lose it. And if Craig lost it, he'd manage to pull everyone down with him. When Craig went down, he wouldn't let himself go alone. Of course he'd pull everyone down with him.
So when Tweek said goodbye, Craig, not being good with goodbye, lost it. He stood in the lobby of the Plaza Hotel in New York, kicking the counter over and over again. What a wretched place to be left alone, on their senior class trip to New York. At least there was less than a month of school left, and then Craig would be able to flee like he wanted to. But he couldn't flee then, not in the middle of New York. So instead, Craig resorted to flailing and kicking the counter and throwing their phone at a marble pillar across the lobby. The security tried to restrain him, and he flailed out at them with his fists and feet. Craig was out of control.
A complete douche bag to say the least.
And finally, he was out in the street. Pulling his jacket around him in the cold, he fled. He walked for about an hour, stopping outside a Dunkin Donuts. He could use coffee, anything to calm himself. Tweek had always calmed himself with coffee, right? And speaking of which, Craig stopped short with his hand on the door. He could see the blonde laughing, sitting in a booth with a bunch of their classmates, sitting in the crook of Clyde's arm. Craig gritted his teeth together. He couldn't believe Tweek had jumped to someone else so fast, especially Clyde of all people. Craig would like to think himself better than Clyde. So as he watched the group stand up, ready to leave, Craig walked down a few feet into the alley next to him and hid, watching, waiting.
After all, Craig was never good with goodbye.
Tweek giggled, blushing slightly when Clyde kissed his cheek. They all stood up, ready to leave, and Tweek tossed his cup into the trash. He yawned and stretched. It had been a long day, and a good one over all…He frowned slightly at the thought of Craig, but shrugged it away and smiled brightly up at Clyde.
"I have to go pee so bad! And I need to call my mom, let her know I'm ok and stuff," Tweek said simply with a smile. "So…you guys go and I'll meet you up at the train station! Or else I'll see you at the hotel…"
Clyde wrapped his arms around Tweek's waist, tugging him close. "Aw, want me to stay? Don't want you to get lost now…" Tweek giggled and shook his head.
"No, it's ok. You go too," Tweek said, his arms resting on Clyde's arms. Tweek felt so weird in Clyde's arms –it was new, it was uncomfortable, it wasn't Craig. But what other choice did Tweek have? Everyone knew Tweek hated being alone, and being single meant being alone. So if Craig wasn't there for him anymore, the next person in line who had been waiting to get with him for a while was Clyde. Tweek forced a smile then, trying not to think about it.
When Clyde frowned at him over his offer being rejected, Tweek leaned up and kissed him softly in reassurance. Definitely not Craig's lips…Fuck, Tweek had to stop it! He smiled sweetly and kissed Clyde again, this time harder. Clyde tightened his grip around Tweek's waist and grinned like a loon when the blonde finally pulled away. Clyde only nodded at Tweek and left with the others. His smile fading, Tweek sighed and walked into the single-stall bathroom. He peed quickly, nervous about walking back by himself, and washed his hands before opening the door to the bathroom. Tweek had pulled out his cell phone, and was looking down at it as he exited the door.
And suddenly, Tweek was thrown backwards into the bathroom wall, pinned to it on his stomach with someone pressing against his back. He heard the bathroom door close and lock, and let out a yelp of fear to his unknown attacker.
"Craig!" Tweek squeaked instinctively, only realizing his mistake moments later. He felt breathing against his neck, and then his ear as a deep and low voice growled. Tweek's eyes widened.
"Looks like you guess right," Craig growled, spinning Tweek around to face him and pinning him up against the wall again. Craig's face bore a dark scowl, and Tweek cowered slightly. It was hard, being pinned, but he was shaking. Tweek remembered the last time Craig had been like this, so angry, so hurt…It had ended badly for the both of them. Craig was in the hospital, and Tweek was left marred both physically and mentally. He still had the cigarette burn marks on his inner thighs as scars and the knife wounds on his shoulders. Tweek whined, turning his head away from Craig. Last time's image was so clear, and Tweek tried to push it from his mind.
"C-craig," Tweek whined, squeezing his eyes shut as Craig roughly grabbed Tweek's face and forced the blonde to look at him. "C-craig! Why…why are you doing this!?" Tweek squeaked loudly, his eyes widening as far as they could as a rough hand slid up his shirt and pinched his nipple. Craig bit down on Tweek's neck, and Tweek felt tears well up.
"I'm taking back what is rightfully mine," Craig hissed and a tear escaped, sliding down Tweek's face. Tweek whimpered, crying out in pain as the hand roughly pinched his nipple harder. A moment later, and Tweek's shirt was being pushed forcefully over his head. Tweek flailed, but to no avail. Craig was stronger than him physically, always had been.
"C-craig…please, Craig! D-don't!" Tweek whimpered, his eyes squeezing shut. But Craig didn't listen –he never did. Especially when he wasn't like this. So Tweek stopped struggling and slumped against Craig's body. What was he supposed to do? He didn't want to scream, Craig would hurt him more…and yet, Tweek wanted to get away, for Craig to stop. Tweek murmured pleas as Craig's lips fluttered down his neck and across his chest, hard nips here and there. The tears fell faster, more frequently, and he felt drops hitting his chest. Finally, the murmuring stopped and Tweek's head fell sideways as he cried, leaving it alone.
Craig bit down sharply on the nape of Tweek's neck, his hand roughly grabbing Tweek's pelvic area. And as wrong as this all was, as forced as this all was as Craig roughly pushed Tweek's pants down, Tweek instinctively threw his head back with a slight gasp. Tweek bit down on his bottom lip, ashamed of himself. He squeezed his eyes tight and willed himself to think of anything else. But then Craig's teeth met his collarbone, and everything else betrayed him from there. Tweek let out another soft gasp as Craig grated his teeth along Tweek's collarbone, Craig's hands roughly grabbing at Tweek's hips.
'Fuck romance,' Tweek thought at Craig rolled his hips against Tweek's. Tweek had always had a secret rape fantasy, but never once thought about making it come to life. In this case, Tweek didn't even have to ask. 'FUCK, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME!?' Tweek screamed at himself as his hips instinctively pushed up into Craig's. He heard a low deep chuckle as nails scraped sharply along his hips, causing Tweek's breath to hitch.
"I told you I was claiming what was mine," Craig murmured, and Tweek felt a sharp pain in his side. He cried out as first, concentrating on what Craig was writing into his flesh with the pocket knife the boy always carried around. 'MINE.' Tweek licked his lips, and inwardly cursed himself as he let a small moan escape. He felt himself twitch and rolled his hips up into Craig's again, whimpering and looking for friction. This was wrong, it was all so wrong.
Craig only chuckled more and bit into Tweek's shoulder, dropping the blade in his hand and pressing his hand against his work. Tweek gasped softly, not even realizing his boxers were gone, or that his slight erection was apparent. But then Craig's free hand moved down, roughly seizing Tweek's member. Tweek threw his head back more, moaning softly and instinctively bucked up into Craig's hand.
"I…I shouldn't be doing this..." Tweek breathed as Craig scraped his nails along the underside of Tweek's cock. He ran his thumb over the tip, and Tweek's half-erection was now a full-erection. Tweek moaned again, bucking into Craig's hand again, and shook his head violently. "Craig, no! I…I shouldn't be doing this…This is…it's rape! Fuck, please…d-don't –NGH- do this!" Tweek yelped when nails dug into his throbbing member, but he bucked upwards anyways.
"Please, stop, Craig, please…s-stop, C-craig!" Tweek tried again, though to no avail. His breathing had become ragged and his pleads were useless. And then he felt fingers invading him. No warning, not slowly, two at a time. Craig shoved them in, pumping them quickly to stretch Tweek faster. Tweek cried out, half in pain and half in pleasure. There wasn't any lube. And soon, as Craig added two more fingers, Tweek's pleas of "Stop, don't" turned into pleas of "Don't stop."
Tweek didn't know when Craig had pushed his own pants down, but soon Tweek felt him pushing inside. And Craig didn't wait for Tweek to get comfortable, he just pushed it inside and began to thrust. Tweek cried out at first, sobs of pain turning quickly into sobs of pleasure as he found himself begging Craig to move faster, harder. Tweek turned his head to the side, ashamed of himself as he let out long low moans. Tweek's hips bucked and he yelped as Craig roughly battered his prostrate. Tweek gasped loudly before moaning and grasping at Craig's shoulders. He clawed at them, moving his hips in time with Craig's movements. And finally Craig sped up, battered into Tweek harder.
Tweek gazed up at Craig through half-hooded eyes, a smile on his face. The kind of smile that was only reserved for Craig. But Craig didn't see it. His forehead was pressed against the wall, his hands clawing at Tweek's hips as he vigorously thrust in and out of Tweek's hole. And then Tweek couldn't help himself, he brought one hand to the back of Craig's neck and pulled his head down, locking their lips together in a passionate kiss.
Tweek pushed his tongue into Craig's mouth, running it over Craig's and urging it into his own mouth. Craig complied, caressing his tongue against Tweek's, who gave in to Craig and became submissive once more. Tweek moaned again as Craig bucked into him and cummed, releasing his load in Tweek's ass. Tweek came not long after, cumming all over his own stomach and chest. Tweek's eyes fluttered closed as he came down from his high, his forehead pressed against Craig's. Tweek wrapped his arms tightly around Craig's neck, trying to hold him there and not let him move. From Craig's slow movements, Tweek could tell he was about to leave.
Tweek opened his eyes, coffee brown meeting crystal blue. And he could see the pain, he could see the hurt, and he could see the continued adoration behind it all. Tweek smiled sadly, his arms slipping downwards and off of Craig entirely. Craig pressed a kiss to Tweek's brow before pulling away. Tweek subconsciously slid downwards on the wall, pulling his knees to his chest. He watched Craig pull his pants back up and reached out to do the button and zipper for him, like he always did. But this time, Craig swatted his hands away. Tweek looked up, that afternoon flooding back, and he looked back down. He felt so shameful, so stupid…He felt his clothes thrown onto him and Tweek looked up, trying to capture Craig's eyes. But Craig was gone.
The tears began to fall again, and his shoulders shook with each breathy sob. Tweek cried softly to himself, holding his clothes close as he buried his face in his arms. His whole body smelled of Craig and all Tweek wanted was his boyfriend back. He wanted to be in Craig's arms, where he belonged, and he wanted to just lay there forever and forget about everything.
Tweek remembered when they used to do that. On Sundays, mostly. They'd lie there together and hide under the covers from the world, just laying close with Tweek buried in Craig's arms…Tweek breathed in a shaky sob and shook his head vigorously. He was such a fool. But he had to do it. For Craig, for Craig…always for Craig. If only Craig knew.
Craig leaned against the brick wall of the alley, resting his head backwards. He could still feel Tweek pressed close to him, he could still feel himself inside Tweek, he could still see Tweek looking up at him and holding him close to keep him from leaving. Craig sighed, his eyes red with tears as he slowly sat down against the wall. His legs sprawled outwards, Craig draped one arm over his lap. His other hand turned over the hand-gun as he gazed downwards at it, unseeing. All he could think about was Tweek, how he almost thought that afternoon was a lie, and then everything said that afternoon. It was bullshit, it was all bullshit. Craig looked upwards and smiled softly. He was done, he wouldn't do it anymore. If Tweek didn't care, Craig didn't care. Cocking the pistol in place, Craig laughed out loud. He pressed the barrel to his temple and closed his eyes.
"I'm coming, mom," Craig said softly, and pulled the trigger back. Craig was never good with goodbyes.
Tweek gently trailed his fingers over the grave, the tears falling freely. He fell to his knees and pressed his forehead against the stone, a great sobbing heap. Twenty-five years and Tweek still couldn't make it on his own. What a foolish mistake, what foolish foolish mistake...
Clyde had been a fling, he had long since moved on. And Tweek? Still in the past, still visiting Craig every day, still trying to say goodbye.
Craig had always been bad at goodbyes. Tweek had always been bad at saying goodbyes.
A/N: The end! Aw, how sad…I guess the ending, the very ending, was kind of lame. But I'm tired! And it's all I have right now. I didn't want Tweek to kill himself too, that'd just suck balls! And yet, I didn't want to end it with Craig's death. I felt like it needed more, needed something….so this is the best I got! What did you guys think? Don't just favorite, please review! Hope you enjoyed it! Kthxbai.