a Spock/Kirk fanfic

I mustn't falter. I must not let my façade waver. I cannot afford to slip up. This game has continued unchecked for far too long, but I cannot allow myself to lose to him. The stakes are simply too high. No one must know. As far as the rest of the crew know, he and I are barely on amicable terms. There's no logical reason for them to suspect we are lovers. And there's certainly no need for them to find out.

This matter of the Captain and I has me most conflicted. Not that I have not always been conflicted. Homosexual relationships are, by their very nature, illogical. The primary goal of sexual intercourse is, of course, reproduction. In both the Vulcan and Human races, reproduction between two male specimens is not possible. Therefore, sexual relations between two men serve no discernible function. There is no logical rationale for pursuing such a relationship.

But if there is no merit behind the activities Jim and I have participated in, why do I tingle every time he touches me? Why do I uncontrollably shiver each and every time he blows coolly into my ears and nibbles gently on the points? Why do I possess this burning desire to be touched by him?

Why does my penis insist on becoming erect when he strokes through my pants, just as he is doing now while ducking beneath my work station?

I look down as he rubs circles across the growing bulge in my crotch. He looks up knowingly and puts a finger to his lips. At this moment, the door slides open and Bones walks in. He approaches my desk. He does not realize that my lover is kneeling underneath, only a few inches away. A mischievous glint in his eye, Jim quietly utters: "Shhh."

"Mr. Spock, have you seen the Captain?"

"No, Dr. McCoy." A lie is the logical answer if I wish for this to remain a secret.

"Really? I thought I saw him headed down here to the science center."

Jim unbuttons my pants. Oh dear, I think. This is going to be uncomfortable.

"I have been at my workstation for several hours and I assure you he has not been here."

"Ah well. I can just tell him later."

He turns to go and I prepare to sigh in relief. But he turns back and I cannot help from slightly narrowing my eyes.

"Say, Mr. Spock, what are you working on there? It looks pretty interesting."

At this moment, Jim puts my semi-erect penis into his mouth. His tongue is swimming with saliva. He does not hesitate to swirl it across my ever-engorging member. He is clearly doing this on purpose. He is trying to tease me. Trying to make me lose our game.

"Well, Dr. McCoy, I am researching the possible…" The muscles below my left eye spasm because Jim has just flicked his tongue across the underside of the head of my penis. "…synthesis of dilithiummmmmm…" I am forced to bite my lip as Jim inserts one of my testicles into his open mouth. "…fuel from the waste materials created on the ship" I manage to squeak out before Jim causes me any further embarrassment. Surprised, I inhale sharply when Jim plants a kiss on the head of my penis. I can tell I am nearing orgasm.

McCoy eyes me quizzically. "Are you alright, Mr. Spock?"

Jim continues to fellate me. This is it. I feel myself going over the edge. I ejaculate into my Captain's mouth. "Yes, yes yes! OH GOD YES!" I shout at the top of my lungs. My voice has lost its normal terse quality. I am speaking with emotion. Jim snickers under the desk. McCoy is obviously perturbed and confused. He backs out of the room slowly, looking bewildered.

Physically drained from my orgasm, I slump down in my chair and I know that I have failed. I have lost the game. I have shown emotion in front of a crew member and that emotion happened to be pure ecstasy at the touch of a lover.

Kirk rises from under the desk. He glares impishly.

"Now you know what you must do," he gloats. He has that half crooked smile that I find so irresistible. I nod. I know that I must now go up to the main deck and formally announce to the rest of the crew that I and Captain James T. Kirk are engaged in a romantic and sexual relationship.

We had argued several times whether we should tell the crew. I contested that there was no logical reason to tell them. They would likely think it unwise for two coworkers to be linked romantically. It might upset the fragile work environment. But he insisted it was a good idea. And that was how he had come up with this little game. If I could resist showing emotion in front of the crew for one month, we would not tell. But, just like Jim, he had resorted to extreme methods for the sake of winning. Just like the Kobayashi Maru test.

I rise from my chair and smile softly at my lover. I head to the door and sigh. If this is what he wishes, then I am happy to do it. It may be illogical, but I love this man.