Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, and did not receive compensation for this.
The Return of Bad Jacob
I had forgiven Jacob for the kiss. He was way out of line for pulling that stunt but he was still my best friend. I couldn't properly explain it to Edward but Jacob had some kind of hold on me. I couldn't find it in myself to let go of him completely.
I ended up on the rez after sitting in my truck for twenty minutes thinking it through. Edward would be disappointed, but I felt it was something I had to do. I had to let Jacob know that no matter what he did I was going through with my transformation. After this whole ordeal with the newborns was over and after the whole ordeal of graduation was over, my human life would be over. I would be part of the Cullen clan. And he would have to accept that and be my friend despite everything. He had to.
I spotted him outside of his house. It looked like he was just getting home. Of course he was wearing his usual ensemble, muddied pants with no shirt, socks or shoes. He didn't see me as he entered the house.
I walked to the front door and noticed he had left it open a crack. Peering inside I could see his figure walking towards the bathroom. I didn't know if I should knock or just let myself in but for some reason I went with the latter. I was quiet as a mouse and glued to my target. A part of me wanted to just avoid this whole conversation and go home. Another part of me wanted to sneak into Jacob's room and leave a note. Maybe that would work out better. I didn't listen to either part and went with my gut instead.
I snuck up to the bathroom door and held up a closed fist. I would knock this time. I wasn't about to just walk in on him in the bathroom. I knocked twice quickly and looked away towards the kitchen. I guessed that Billy wasn't home since the house was eerily quiet.
I turned back upon hearing the door squeak open. Jacob was standing there in the nude.
Oh shit. No matter how hard my head screamed at me to not look down I was unable to abide. Pure curiosity caused me to catch a glimpse of his manhood. Within five seconds the door was slammed in my face. Apparently five seconds was enough to burn the image of his unbelievably large flaccid penis into my mind. Then Jacob was screaming.
"Jesus Bella. I thought you were my Dad! What the hell are you doing in my house?"
I didn't know who was more embarrassed. I was sure I must've looked as red as a tomato. Thank god he couldn't see me. "I'm so sorry," I called out to him. "You left the door open and I wasn't thinking. I'll go. I'm sorry." I muttered and made a fast spin towards the front door. I would be out of there in less than a minute as long as I could get my legs working.
Please don't trip, I pleaded with my clumsy body.
Then Jacob was throwing open the bathroom door and running up behind me. He grabbed the front door above my head and pushed it shut. "No, don't leave. I'm glad you're here. I was just shocked is all. I was about to take a shower. You scared the shit out of me. Did you see anything?"
"No." I lied. "I wasn't even paying attention." I looked down and saw that he had put back on the same muddied pants. I was half expecting to see him still naked.
Jacob snickered to himself and I thought maybe he knew I was lying but his words contradicted that. "Oh that's too bad. You missed a nice show."
Then the image of his privates flew back into my mind and I struggled to not let it show on my face what I was thinking. I pushed the image out immediately.
"I'm not interested in your show." I said coldly.
He was laughing and that always made me feel better. I tried to will the venom out of my voice when I spoke again. "Sorry, but I just don't want to see you in that… light."
"I look good in any light." He answered in a cocky tone. "Besides I bet you've always wondered what a man looks like. Maybe we can do one of those I'll show you mine if you show me yours deals."
This was undoubtedly the Bad Jacob. My Jacob was nowhere in sight. That would make this so much harder to get through.
"I will certainly not show you mine. Anyway I'll know what a man looks like sooner than you think. I can hold off until then."
When I looked up into his eyes Jacob looked visibly upset. His legs started to quiver and he grabbed my arm and shook me aggressively. Not enough to hurt, but enough to make me stand at attention.
"What are you saying Bella? Are you saying that you plan on seeing your bloodsucker boyfriend in the flesh sometime soon? I hope you mean after he turns you into a leech like him." He was angry but I had seen him angrier so I pulled myself out of his grip and sneered back up at him with the same ferociousness.
"I'm saying that it will happen when I want it to happen."
He looked at me with wide eyes and spoke calmer, "Well, when is that?"
"That's none of your business." I spat back.
"I think your safety is my business. You better not be planning on getting busy with this monster anytime soon. Bella he could kill you. You go anywhere near his dick and he will let loose and kill you. I've heard of it happening with their kind before."
What did he know about it? He didn't know Edward like I did. Edward could not hurt me and I was tired of everyone making it seem like I was this fragile little girl. Apparently nobody wanted me to have my experience. "I don't care about what you've heard Jake. You don't know Edward, he's not a monster."
With that I decided it was time to go. I came here for god knows what and it wasn't even working out the way I planned. Did I even have a plan? Damn Jacob for always ruining everything. I shouldn't have even brought it up. I tore open the door and walked a beeline to my truck. Of course Jacob followed me every step of the way.
"Stop! Come on Bella, you're so thick headed. You won't even let me speak!" He was pleading with me to listen and I found it hard to take another step towards my truck. His hold on me was still as strong as ever. I looked at him and muttered, "Go ahead, speak."
"Bella, think about it," he paused as if to come up with the proper words. "He's in love with you right?"
"Right and I love him." I answered quickly. Jacob looked stung by the statement despite his prior knowledge of the fact.
"Never mind how you feel. How do you really know he loves you?"
Before I could speak he continued quickly, "I mean, he's a bloodsucker right, he has been for like a million years."
"Try like a hundred," I chimed in, but it didn't really sound much better than a million.
"Well however long he's been around, he's been living the life of a bloodsucker for too long. Do you think he even remembers being human? Having human emotions? Or better yet, was he ever in love before- when he was a human? I doubt it, he was only a kid."
That line of reasoning offended me, "Well according to you then I'm only a kid and I know what love is. So why shouldn't he?"
"Because his mind is clouded Bella. He thinks with his fangs!" Jacob yelled.
"He does not have fangs you jerk," I smacked his arm. I hated when he said that. Then a thought occurred to me, since he doesn't have fangs, just how does he rip animals open and drink their blood? It was something I would need to know for the days to come when I would be in the same position. Eventually I'd be a bloodsucker, as Jacob so lovingly put it, myself. I shoved the thought away for another day.
"And anyway," I started, "not everyone thinks with their body parts like you do." I didn't want to bring up the words body parts. I pushed the image away before it even came.
Jacob chuckled and didn't begin to dispute my accusation. He was serious when he spoke. "You still don't seem to be getting my point. I'm trying to say that your dearest Edward is clouded by his lust for you. He wants your blood and he's convinced himself that his lust for your body translates to love."
"Maybe it's ridiculous and maybe it's not." He looked into my eyes and he seemed sincere about his concerns. "Maybe once you guys do the deed he'll get over his lust for your body and then all that will be left..." he trailed off.
I knew what he was getting at, "He'll have his way with me and then realize- Hey I don't love her after all, time for a snack!" Honestly Jacob would say anything to make me think that Edward was a monster.
"Bella, you have to consider every possibility. He might change after you give him your body. He might not feel the same way anymore once you've," he made a face of disgust but tried unsuccessfully to mask it from me, "satisfied him."
"That's where you are wrong Jake. He doesn't even want to have sex with me!" I knew that sounded wrong but it was the first thing that popped out. I quickly corrected myself, "I mean, he wants to but he doesn't make an issue out of it. He's willing to wait until I am stronger and less breakable. I am the one that wants to have sex before I change! And once I convince him, I will."
My cheeks brightened when I thought about the subject matter we were discussing. I wasn't used to talking about sex with Jacob. I wasn't used to talking about sex with anyone really. The semi sex talk I'd had with Charlie was enough to scar me for life.
Jacob looked deep in thought for a moment and then he turned and walked away.
"Wait, where are you going? Is the conversation over now?" I called after him.
He stopped and turned to address me with sad eyes. "You're crazy Bella. What is the point of trying to talk sense into you when you don't even care about your life? Whether Edward kills you by accident while he's fucking you senseless or he kills you afterwards when he's grown tired of fucking you senseless or he kills you while he's trying to turn you into a leech- you're still gonna be dead."
I tried to ignore the foul language because I figured he was trying to get a rise out of me and I refused to let him get the best of me. "I won't be dead Jake. Edward won't hurt me."
"If he somehow manages not to drain your blood, you'll still end up a bloodsucker without a heartbeat. That sounds like dead to me." He said solemnly and turned to walk away again.
I knew it would hurt him but I said it anyway, "I think you're just jealous because you want to be the one fucking me senseless."
He stopped in his tracks and started to tremble. I hoped that he wouldn't turn now because I wasn't sure just how mad I had made him. I had never feared Jacob before and I didn't want to start now but a part of me couldn't help it. The trembling stopped and he was quickly walking back to me. He stopped in his tracks a mere two inches from my face, a sneer on his lips. "You're right. I'm jealous that you want to fuck the dead guy and not me. I'm jealous that he gets your desire and I get shit when you love me just as much as you love him."
I didn't want to hurt him anymore. "I do love you Jake."
"Yeah I know, like a friend. Well I was never in this for friendship Bella. I love being your best friend but you know I was always hoping for it to turn into something more. I can't watch you throw your life away for this leech."
I didn't know what to say that wasn't a repetition of the same things I had always said. He knew what this was. I had told him time and time again that I could never be with him. It was not my fault that he insisted on torturing himself with the idea of winning me over.
I looked up and Jacob was smiling. That caught me off guard; it hardly seemed like a time to be smiling. "What are you happy about? Have you lost your mind now?"
"Remember when I kissed you?" he asked.
"Yes, and then I punched you." I answered annoyed.
"I bet your bloodsucker held you a little bit closer that night."
I didn't know what he was trying to imply but it was definitely not good. "He held me just the same, thanks. You're lucky he didn't kill you."
"He probably should have thanked me. I bet he saw a little more action than normal from you that night."
I was going to punch him again- harder this time. Not that it would make much of a difference but it would feel damn good on my end. My hand was already a mess though. Not worth it in the long run.
He kept talking, not waiting for me to speak- probably knowing he wouldn't like my response. "I got you all juiced up for him. I bet you begged him to fuck you that night."
My mouth dropped open at this and anger flooded my face. "I did no such thing and you wish you had that kind of effect on me!" I hated that his words made me feel a tiny bit excited. Edward never talked this vulgar to me. I wouldn't let him know that.
"Jacob you're walking a fine line right now. If you don't want to be my friend I understand. I don't blame you or anything. I can't give you what you want and I get that it's hard for you but you don't have to be mean to me. Just walk away."
He smiled wider and I made it a point to frown to make up the difference. "I keep trying to walk away. You won't let me. That's how I know you love me."
I guess he had a point. I did stop him from leaving. I didn't know he was going to act like this though. Anyway he stopped me from leaving first! Excuse me for trying to fix an unfixable situation. "Well feel free to leave now, I won't…"
He put his hand over my mouth, "You love me. So use me."
I was puzzled but I couldn't ask what he meant because his hand was still covering my face. So I asked with my eyes.
"Use me Bella. It will work out so beautifully." I could tell he was about to go off onto another desperate tirade.
"You can use me to learn. You're a virgin; you don't know what you're doing. If you practice with me I'll make you good for him. So good that his lust will never be satisfied because he'll want you even more than he ever did before."
I bit his hand and he hissed and took a step back. "Use you??" I asked incredulously.
"Yes, use me. Maybe you won't even want to sleep with him before you", he cringed "turn." He shook the sting out of his bitten hand and quickly began again, "Then you won't have to risk him killing you by accident. Or maybe you will want to fuck him still but either way I'll give you a good head start and he'll be so transfixed with your ability to make him feel good that he'll spare you your life."
"Jacob," I started slowly. "The better I am, I think, the more likely he is to kill me by accident." I couldn't believe I was even entertaining this conversation.
His smiled dimmed. "I guess you're right. If you're too good then he might lose control and take a bite out of you. Makes sense…"
I knew that wouldn't be enough to deter him, but I hoped it was. I hated to see him do this to himself. He was always so hopeful and it pained me.
"Anyway, you're a virgin too aren't you?" It wasn't really a question but I decided to give him the benefit of the doubt.
"Yeah, so?" He tried to make it sound like it was no big deal but I could see that it bothered him. He wasn't a virgin by choice.
"So what makes you think you can teach me anything? I'm the one with the boyfriend. I'm the one who is older and more experienced. I could probably teach you a thing or two!" I wagged my eyebrows and laughed lightly.
He didn't laugh with me. He was back to being serious. "So teach me then."
"I thought this was about saving me from Edward?" I grinned because Jacob was so transparent. He was always trying to make it out like he had my best interests at heart. It was too hard for him to just focus on me though. He had needs just like I did. I couldn't hold it against him.
"Of course I want to save you from the leech but you're too stubborn." He stepped impossibly closer. "Ask me to kiss you."
This was exactly why Edward didn't want me to come here. He knew that Jacob would not ever give up. "Why would I ask you to kiss me Jake? You know I don't want you kissing me. I'm with Edward! You don't seem to get that."
"I'm so inexperienced Bella. I need to learn. You can teach me. I bet you didn't like that last kiss because I didn't know what I was doing. This time I'll do better, just ask me."
My answer was simple. "No."
His face was so close I could smell his breath. I could smell his mixture of musk and metal. He smelled like the garage. He smelled like the woods. He smelled like My Jacob but he talked like the Jacob I hated. Why did he insist on doing this to me?
"Come on Bella. You love me. You want me to be happy right? I'll leave you alone. I'll let you run off with your bloodsucker. I won't be happy about it but I'll do it. I just need something to remember you by. You can be my teacher and then in the future when I'm with a girl I can think back on this and remember that you were the one. You were the only one I ever loved and the only one who held my heart. I think I'll die if you don't give me a piece of you to hold onto."
My own breath hitched but I couldn't let my resolve break. His love and want were so strong but I couldn't let them be strong enough to turn me into someone I wasn't. Then again Edwards' love was strong enough to make me want to become someone else. Was this really any different? "You won't die. You'll live. If I give in to you then you'll never be able to let go of me."
"That's where you're wrong. I'll know I tried my hardest. I'll know you tried to love me." He was touching my back now, sliding his hand down to my hip. "If you don't try I'll always wonder if I could have done more."
I wanted to make one point clear. "I'll never have sex with you Jacob."
If he was hurt he didn't show it. "That's fine. I can imagine having sex with you whenever I like. That will have to be enough."
"Do you do that often?" I asked nervously. I never really thought about what kind of fantasies he had. It never occurred to me that I was probably the star of all of them. I could only hope that the image of his huge penis didn't enter my dreams tonight, especially since I was in the habit of talking in my sleep. Edward wouldn't be happy to hear about that. I frowned as I imagined Edward's pain upon hearing me say something stupid like; wow Jacob your dick is so big. Did I say whole sentences like that? Or would it sound like Jacob, big dick. Either way I would be screwed.
Jacob misinterpreted my frown. "I'm sorry. I'll try not to think about having sex with you, if it makes you uncomfortable." He dropped his hand from my hip but didn't move away.
I was sure he was bullshitting me but I felt bad nonetheless. "No, I don't care. It's your head, you can think about whatever you want. It flatters me really." And it did flatter me. If I knew anyone else was thinking dirty things about me I would probably be disgusted. Mike probably thought of me like that. The idea was sickening to me. But for some reason I liked the fact that Jacob could be with me in his fantasies. It made up for the fact that I couldn't give him what he really wanted.
Jacob didn't need the encouragement I gave him but it made him incredibly happy. I could tell. "Well, if you put it that way- I'm thinking about making love to you right now." He whispered. He smiled widely and this time put both hands on my hips. What a predicament I had put myself in. Did I like to torture myself on purpose?
I smiled too, pure reason in my voice as I spoke. "Good for you. Enjoy it. Just remember that it'll never happen."
He laid his forehead against mine, his figure crouching lower to reach me. He was so tall that he had to spread his legs around mine and lean me back towards my truck to get the right angle. I wasn't sure how I felt about him manhandling me like this but so far he hadn't crossed any lines. Yet.
"What exactly will happen?" he asked.
His hands were burning through my clothes, and his tone of voice made me figit.
"What do you mean?"
"I mean, what are you willing to do? You keep saying you won't have sex with me. That's like saying I'll come over but I won't stay long. I'll go to that restaurant but I won't have the steak. You wouldn't keep saying what you won't do unless you had an idea of what you will do."
He was playing tricks on my mind. I couldn't even remember how we got to the point of me proclaiming I wouldn't sleep with him. He had kept saying he wanted a piece of me. I just knew which piece he wouldn't get. Did that mean I'd give him a different piece?
"I won't do anything." I tried.
He was too quick to respond. He barely gave me time to think.
"If you won't do anything you would have said that to begin with. You just said you won't have sex with me."
"Well, I just…" I was reaching. What could I say? The image of his naked body flew into my mind again and I was unprepared this time. He was so close. His body heat was radiating off of him and straight onto me. I felt flushed and confused. The idea of him fantasizing about me and the vision of his sex were throwing me off. I had tried so hard not to think about him this way and it was all becoming too much. Now it was all I could think about. I needed more time to get my head together but he wouldn't let me.
"Ask me." His words pushed their way into my thoughts.
I tried again to think of what I could do. How I should feel in this moment. He wasn't letting me use my better judgment. My raging hormones were running the show.
"Ask me!" He said louder. His infiltrating voice was breaking my defenses. His hands on my hips moved back towards my ass and seared me like a brand. I tried to think of Edwards face and I couldn't see it. That was when I knew that I had to try this.
"Kiss me." I commanded him.
And before I knew it his lips were on mine. I was still so confused but I knew I couldn't stop my body from responding. I would definitely suffer the consequences from this once I got my wits back. How had Jacob gotten the upper hand? This was why I wasn't supposed to come here, I was sure. Edward could see into Jacob's head. He knew how cunning the boy was. He trusted my judgment but he shouldn't have. I had lost control.
My head was spinning as Jacob's tongue began to push its way into my mouth. I obliged and opened wider. His tongue was hot and sweet as it grazed against mine. His kiss was much different than anything I'd ever felt. I got dizzy and he held me up instinctually. His hands were on my ass, then on my waist, then on my neck. They felt like they were everywhere at once, claiming me.
He pushed his body against me and I could feel his hardness against my leg. If it was impossibly big while soft then it was unimaginably big while hard. I caught myself imagining it anyway. I felt tears well up in my eyes at my lack of respect for my boyfriend. I had imagined Edward before but never with such a fire in my body as there was now. Jacob's heat was no match for me. It pulled me in.
My whole body was off of the ground and wrapped around him as he began to carry me towards the house. I thought about objecting, but I didn't want anyone to witness this- so the house would be a better setting. What was this anyway? I didn't know but I didn't exactly want it to end. Once it ended I would be back in reality.
Jacob got us through the front door and closed it behind us in one swift motion. His lips never left mine as he carried me into his bedroom. I could tell he didn't want to scare me off when he put my feet back on the ground instead of laying me on the bed. He broke away from my lips and started placing kisses on my face and neck. My hands trailed up to his hair and he was suddenly kneeling before me. His eyes were level with my breasts as he kissed them through my blouse. I threw my head back breathing heavily.
He lifted my shirt up to my ribs, no further, and began placing kisses on my stomach. Neither of us spoke, scared to upset the moment. I found myself missing the feel of his erection near me. It was something I had never experienced before and never knew I wanted so badly. Edward was so careful with me that I never felt he was giving me enough. Was it Jacob that I wanted, or just the lavish attention of a man? I had ached for so long that I never thought I'd feel this good.
My underwear became soaked when Jacob dared to venture a hand between my legs. He did this slowly and almost accidentally, dipping in with his thumb first as he massaged my upper thigh. Then he pushed the back of his right hand against my mound and kissed my exposed hipbone simultaneously. My jeans were too tight suddenly; I wanted them to slide further down. I wanted them off. I felt his mouth trail to my navel and his hands come up to either side of my waistband. His hot fingers were against my skin but he didn't dare to exert pressure. One small tug and my pants would be around my ankles but he didn't move. He continued to kiss as much of my stomach that was exposed and it felt like exquisite torture. I wanted more. "Jacob." I moaned quietly. I almost didn't hear myself but I knew he heard me.
Then he was on his feet and his lips were on mine again. I felt relieved to have his body against mine; it had grown too cold and needed his heat. I was still fully dressed and so wanted not to be. This wasn't like me to want such things. I had been explicit about not giving in to Jacob's desires. I knew I could not know him in such a way but I never knew how badly I wanted to. Now I wished I hadn't come here. I was better off not knowing.
We were slowly making our way to the bed when I stopped thinking. He had one hand on my right breast as the other slid down the back of my jeans. He was becoming more brazen and it gave me a thrill. As he kissed my neck I moaned again and he pinched my nipple in response. He was better at this than I ever thought he would be. Maybe it was just that he imagined this for so long.
He separated from me and pushed me roughly back on the bed. I took the moment to catch my breath and looked up at his face. His eyes were heavy with lust but still cautious. He loved me enough to give me the chance to say no. I was tempted to. He climbed onto the bed and kneeled over me. I put a hand up to hold him at bay but when it came into contact with his leg I was mesmerized by the feel of his muscle behind those muddy pants. I looked away from his face to his pants. His penis was an obvious bulge behind the thin material. I wanted to touch it, to know what the massive thing felt like. I imagined it was hotter than the rest of his body if that was possible. Hot and hard because of me. I thought about him lying in this bed alone and touching it while thinking of me. I shivered at the thought and was instantly consumed by his want, yet again. I wanted him to have his experience as much as I had wanted my own with Edward.
My pause was enough to let him know to continue. He crawled up my body and kissed me harder than ever, putting all of his weight on top of me. It was too heavy and I couldn't breathe. I pushed against his chest until he lifted his weight and straddled me with his knees. He kisses never faltered; his tongue never stopped moving against mine in erotic circles. His hand left my face and he reached down to adjust his aching hard-on. I knew he must be going crazy with need but he seemed content to lavish me with all of the attention. I wondered if I could bring myself to touch him. I wanted badly to try.
I took one hand away from his chest and trailed my fingers slowly down his torso. He bit my lip as I reached his waist. He put one hand on the bed above my head to brace himself and licked my lower lip where he had bit me. I tasted blood put didn't care. Luckily that wasn't an issue with him.
My hand hesitated at the top of his pants for only a moment and then it dipped lower, slowly making its way below the waistband. His pubic hair was thick and wavy, and I paused to give it a pull. I realized I was stalling and I pushed my nerves aside, sliding my hand lower. Then I came into contact with it. His dick was hotter than I imagined. It felt solid and smooth in my hand and the sense of power I felt while holding it was intoxicating. Jacob hissed and dropped his head below my chin. I could hear his breathing change and I reveled in the knowledge that I caused that. I tentatively gave it one long stroke and he moaned above me. I moaned in response. My body was dripping juices and screaming at me for more. It was the most erotically charged I'd ever felt in my life. Every nerve was on fire in anticipation.
I stroked him again, and again. He started to speak but stopped, his brain not allowing him to form words. When I flicked my thumb over the glistening head he grabbed both of my arms and pinned them above me.
"Bella stop." He groaned, his breath coming out in pants.
I tried not to feel embarrassed. Did I do something wrong?
"Why?" I asked timidly, pushing my lower half up against him subconsciously.
"I can't take it. It's too good. Nobody has ever...I won't…" He trailed off and lowered his head back to my neck, licking me there and regaining his composure. He let go of one of my arms and used his free hand to lift my shirt up, exposing my bra. I blushed at the thought of him seeing my breasts but ultimately didn't care. He pushed the cups of my bra up and away, freeing my breasts from their confines. As he took my nipple into his mouth I groaned and pushed up against him again. He sucked at the bud and every so often stopped to lick around the flesh of my entire breast. He now held both of my arms in one hand and I felt restricted. I wanted to touch him too. I wanted him to feel as good as I did but he wouldn't let me go. I struggled against his bonds but I was no match for his strength.
"Please," I begged. He ignored me and moved his attention to my other breast, taking my nipple into his mouth and biting it softly. I cried out in pleasure and he moaned around my skin.
He let go of my arms and I grabbed onto his hair with all of my might, pulling his face back up to mine. I could barely see his eyes through his heavy lids and I wondered if my own eyes matched his. I kissed him hard, and wet. When I broke away I wanted to speak but I didn't know what to say. He hips bucked into me and I wondered where this could end up. My body was aching for a release. I took his hand from my face and tentatively placed it on the button of my jeans. I didn't know where it would lead but it was in the direction my body was screaming for.
He undid the top button. Then he slid down my body so that he was eye level with the second button. He undid that one too. My own hands flew up to my face, covering my eyes in an attempt to hide my mortification. I wouldn't let myself think about what he was doing.
He lifted my ass and pulled my jeans all the way down, taking them off and tossing them aside. My legs were stiff and straight, but he pried them apart and took my thighs into his strong hands, gently massaging me until I was more pliable.
I could feel his breath through my underwear. Another thin piece of material separated us. He breathed deeply and I knew he was purposely taking in my scent. I didn't think I could handle it any longer and then I felt his long tongue sliding up my slit through the material.
"Oh fuck," I called out. I hardly ever cursed but I couldn't help myself. Pleasure hit me like a ton of bricks. He did it again and I couldn't form words this time. I moaned loudly and pushed myself closer to his face. He licked my groin and used his hand to push my panties to the side. His tongue on my bare flesh caused me to see stars. My legs automatically gripped his head and held him in place. As he licked and sucked at my center I grabbed onto the blankets for dear life. I was grateful that we were alone in the house but I thought passersby might hear my guttural moans. I hoped briefly that he couldn't hear me.
Jacob was unrelenting in his attack on my clit. He was sucking and licking with a constant pressure and I couldn't keep up. My mind couldn't comprehend the need my body felt. My release built slowly but surely. I felt him slide one long finger into my wet hole and that was the end.
"Oh god!" I cried out as I came. My legs were shuddering and my hands grabbed chunks of Jacob's hair tightly. I rode the wave of pleasure and it felt never-ending as he continued to lick me roughly. Once my orgasm had passed, Jacob's tongue felt like an electric taser. My nerves felt over stimulated and as I lay and catch my breath my body twitched from the assault.
I found my voice. "Stop… I can't… too much…" I sounded like Jacob had earlier and it reminded me that I never did get to finish my assault on him.
His tongue stopped licking me, and he began kissing my folds lightly. He kissed me there over and over. He kissed my thigh. He kissed my knee. My hormone clouded mind began drifting back to reality. I didn't want it to but it was inevitable. I ignored my need to rationalize and focused my attention on Jacob's face.
"I want to make you feel good too," I whispered gently. I wasn't about to use Jacob to get off and then leave him high and dry. He did ask me to use him though. Had he seen this coming?
"Too late." He whispered back, his tone was sad and I wondered why. I think I knew why. The evening was obviously coming to an end. I could feel it in the air.
"Why is it too late?" I tried to keep my tone light and happy.
"I came already. While I was…" I was glad he didn't finish the sentence. Doing it and talking about it were two different things.
"Oh" I said quickly. The idea of him getting off while going down on me seemed like a compliment. It made me feel good, but at the same time I wished I had more of a part in it. I wanted to see him come. I wanted to know more about his manhood and how it operated. I guessed I would never know now. This couldn't happen again.
Well, if Edward could ever forgive me this would never happen again. I couldn't bear to think about Edward right then. I would wait until I was home and alone to ponder that situation. It wasn't Jacob's fault. I had given in to my desire for him; the desire that I tried to deny ever existed. I had given him his experience and it ended up being one of the best experiences of my life. I would carry that burden forever.
I looked around the room and spotted my pants on the floor. Jacob was standing now, still wearing his muddy pants, his bulge no longer as prominent. I had never gotten to see it hard. Would I think about that often? Would I always imagine what it looked like?
I got up off of the bed and slowly walked over to retrieve my pants and slip into them.
"I guess you can finally take that shower now." I laughed half heartedly.
Jacob looked taken aback. "Oh shit, I forgot I never took a shower. I'm sorry."
"Don't be sorry silly. You smell great." I told him to put his mind as ease. He worried about the stupidest stuff. I wanted to know what he was thinking but I knew he wouldn't say. It didn't matter at this point. "I think I have to go. I mean it's late and Charlie will be home soon expecting dinner."
He looked sadder still. "I wish you wouldn't go."
I thought back on our conversation and remembered what he had said. He said he would leave me alone as long as I tried to be with him. Well I had definitely given it the old college try. How could I have ever been foolish enough to believe that being with him would make him leave me alone? I never truly believed that. I didn't want him to leave me alone. I wanted him to have his piece of me and hoped that would be enough.
"You know I have to go," was all I said.
"I know." He answered. "Hey at least I kept my word, right?"
"What's that?" I asked puzzled. Was he planning on never speaking to me again and really leaving me alone once and for all? I knew I didn't want that, but I would accept it if it made things easier on him.
"I said I wouldn't have sex with you. It was hard as hell not to, but I didn't."
Apparently oral sex was not sex in his book. I appreciated the sentiment anyway. "I wanted it too. I'm glad you held your ground though because I don't know if I could have held mine."
"Really?" he asked stunned. "You mean I could have pulled my dick out and you would have let me have my way with you? I could have fucked you senseless?"
The return of Bad Jacob. I knew he was never far. My Jacob and Bad Jacob were one in the same. I wouldn't have it any other way really. Bad Jacob was growing on me.
I couldn't be Bad Bella for long though. The night was beginning and my Edward was waiting for me. I had to face my future and figure out where I stood in it.
I didn't chide him, I couldn't bring myself to. Instead I walked over to Jacob and kissed him on the cheek. "Goodnight wolf."
Sorry if there were any continuity errors, it's been a while since I read the books and they feel a little jumbled in my head. Feedback is appreciated. Let me know if you'd like to see a continuation on this story, or if it should be left on its own. Thanks!