Whenever it happened, it would wake me from even the deepest sleep. It was the basis of my being. It was why I was here. It controlled me. At times I was so confused that I couldn't remember what it was. This was one of those times. I didn't know what it was and I wasn't sure I wanted to. It scared me.
I was asleep. I was dreaming. Then it happened. The violent attack of images, sounds, and feelings that flooded my mind with a maddening intensity. I didn't understand them...I didn't want to. I saw people, places, and events happening that I knew had yet to take place. I saw things I had never seen, heard, or experienced before. They were the future...and I knew them.
This always happened. It would take a long amount of time, I didn't know how long, until I eventually let the feeling wear off. All I had to do was curl up in the corner and feel nothing. The nothingness would soon turn into sleep...sleep into dreams...and more times than not...dreams into visions. It always took me this much time to wake up abruptly and process this all before the first blink of my eyes.
I was awake now. I knew where I was...but did I really? I knew this place, but I had no idea what it was. This was the most familiar place in my mind. I didn't know what it looked like, but I knew it's feeling. The pitch darkness covered every inch of the small confines. I could feel the rough floor underneath my body. I was curled up into a corner- a place where the floor met the wall. I figured it to be the farthest place from the light. The light was a rare thing to see, but it was a sign of bad things to come. The loud creek of the door and the sudden burst of brightness meant only one thing.
It was time.
Just thinking about it made me cringe into the wall. This time I knew it was coming. It was what had woken me up...I already saw it. Why did they do it? I didn't know... I figured it was my own fault. Then again, I didn't know how to stop it. If I could I would've. I would've without a further thought. I didn't like it...it was the reason for my suffering. Was it suffering? Not quite... In reality, I didn't know. I never remember the exact things that happened. I just knew that once I was in there, I never wanted to go back. Everytime I woke up from my visions, they knew. They would be here soon, and this made me anxious.
They were here....and they would take me away. I already saw it. I always saw it. At least I knew it was coming, there was no suspense. But was the knowledge comforting? No...it made me sure. And knowing for a fact that they were coming...that pain was on its way....was disturbing and terrifying. I couldn't resist...it wasn't a choice. They would take me...and I wouldn't like it. All because of it.
The worst thing was that all I saw...was bad.