An Illogical Woman
Just as a caveat, I don't own any of the characters in this story. So, don't sue me, Bro! I wrote this story after reading a lot of the wonderful stories here and seeing Star Trek for the first time. I was surprised and delighted by the pairing of Uhura and Spock and I am planning to see the movie again just for them. In between devouring every story I could find, I watched some clips of the original series featuring interactions between Spock and Uhura. That got the plot bunnies jumping and I started to meld the faces of the original series Spock and Uhura with the movie versions as I read. So, I wrote this this morning as I thought about Spock's decision to return to the Enterprise and TOS Spock and Uhura's relationship. Here are a few links to youtube videos that helped inspire this story: "Vulcan has no moon" .com/watch?v=ac8ZJfyqpTw ; Uhura sings to Spock .com/watch?v=hmgYMTO6Th4 ; Uhura plays the Lyre .com/watch?v=a6YOQMfiCKI Enjoy!! Reviews are love and very logical!
Her eyes glanced nervously from one Vulcan face to another, attempting to read the emotions of each man despite their efforts to appear stoic. One Vulcan was easy to read. She knew his face well, despite the extra lines the passage of years had added to his handsome visage. His dark eyes were the same expressive orbs that contained a whirlwind of emotions that were otherwise only belied by a slight lifting of the corners of his mouth. Surprise, approval, nostalgia, pleasure and, most surprising of all, jealousy warred in his eyes and about his mouth. Despite the passage of time and a reality which she could never experience, this Spock was not so different from her own.
Nyota had to suppress a smile of her own as the elder Spock took notice of her perusal and locked her gaze in his. The corners of his mouth ticked slightly higher and his rarely seen dimple appeared on his right cheek. Nyota wondered what his Uhura had been like and if he had known her name. Did she know the particular spot on the back of his neck just behind his left ear where a whispered kiss could crumble his strongest defenses? In the middle of the sleep cycle when he would awake trembling and sweating, his skin impossibly pale and his eyes bright with tears he refused to shed, did she sing ancient Vulcan folk songs to him while cradling his head in her lap and running her fingers through his ebony hair? She wondered if this Spock had ever known the horrors of nightmares until now and who would be the vessel into which he'd pour the grief his Vulcan training could not suppress.
The direction of the elder Spock's gaze alerted him to the presence of Nyota. He turned to face her as she stood several meters away, attempting to give them the privacy he had requested while being close enough to lend the support he knew she could not help but to offer, no matter how much he told himself that he did not require it. From the corner of his vision he saw the elder Spock dip his head slightly in the direction of Uhura.
"Nyota, please join us."
Spock turned to face his father and elder self once more, not allowing himself the luxury of watching Nyota's approach. With the aide of his elder self he had explained the logic of his decision to remain with Star Fleet. His father had found his reasoning to be sound while still expressing his displeasure that his son would not be settling in New Vulcan with his people. Spock observed his father watching the approach of his Nyota and he knew that he would also have to explain the most illogical and greatest reason for his choice.
She possessed all of the virtues of his Uhura, his colleague, friend and best student. She was beautiful and both loyal and brave. Spock could tell that she cared for his younger self a great deal. While he avoided interaction with the younger version of his friend, spending the weeks before the establishment of the colony in consultation with his father and the Elders, he allowed himself the luxury of observing them from afar. He was pleasantly surprised to observe the deep relationship between his younger self and Uhura. One evening during their journey to New Vulcan, the elder Spock decided to visit his younger self. Upon arriving at his door, he heard the familiar strains of two Vulcan lyres playing. He remained outside the door, listening to the music and a familiar voice accompanying the playing. Nyota, her voice as sweet as he remembered, was singing an ancient Earth song that his mother would sing to him as a child. Spock realized the depth of their bond then. While he and his Nyota had developed a deep bond of friendship, he had never shared with her something as intimate as the songs of his mother.
He was afraid of her and afraid of himself. Spock was always careful to keep Uhura at arms length. He had been aware of her regard for him during their days at the academy. While her thirst for knowledge and her command of the material had impressed him, he never made the illogical decision of pursuing a romantic relationship with her. When the strictures of pupil and master had been replaced for those of lieutenant and commander, he allowed her closer. She shared with him her name and he taught her the Vulcan lyre and the songs of his people. Her interest in him, barely concealed while they were at the academy, broke through to the surface on a few occasions. Spock pretended to be confused by her logic when she leaned on the arm of his chair and asked him sweetly to tell her how the planet Vulcan looked on a lazy evening when the moon was full.
"Vulcan has no moon, Miss Uhura."
"I am not surprised, Mr. Spock."
However, he made no such efforts to conceal his delight when she sung to him in front of several crew members in the recreation room. He had turned to watch her, his fingers strumming his lyre and an impish grin on his face. She sauntered towards him singing a song that barely concealed her feelings for him and boldly caressing his shoulder and the tips of his ears as she circled behind him.
The corners of his mouth lifted at the memory. His Nyota had departed this world fifty years ago in his time. She had been his student and his good friend, but never his lover. He allowed himself a moment to question the logic of his decision made long ago. At the time he thought it completely logical to keep her at arms length. His career and his ability to control his emotions had demanded it. However, watching his younger self introduce his mate to his father he began to doubt his calculations. Fear, not logic, had been the basis of his decision; fear of the unknown and fear of the human woman who had been able to unsettle him like no other. Spock had romantic relationships with other women; they had been brief and superficial; expertly compartmentalized so as not to interfere with duty or logic. Nyota was not so easily caged.
In this reality he was pleased that his younger self had been so illogical as to allow himself to fall in love. His younger self needed his Nyota in a way that he had never needed anyone. Everything had been stripped away from his younger self, yet Nyota remained a constant. Logic could not carry him through the loss of his world and his mother. Logic could not keep back the tide of grief and anger that threatened to consume him.
"What is necessary is never illogical," Sarek's voice broke the elder Spock from his contemplation. For a moment he wondered if his father had read his thoughts until he observed Sarek bowing his head in welcome to Nyota.
Spock raised one eyebrow in surprise before bowing his head to his father and saying farewell to his elder self. His introduction of Nyota had seemed to be a more logical rationale for his decision to remain with Star Fleet than all the reasons previously laid out by him and his older self. As he turned to lead Nyota back to the cruiser that would return them to the Enterprise, he remembered his father's words to him a few weeks prior.
"I married her because I loved her."
Love appeared to have a logic of its own. Dismissing the fact that they were still in view of Sarek and his older self as well as several others, Spock took Nyota's hand in his and held it tightly as they continued to walk to the cruiser. Nyota squeezed back and Spock smiled.