I Dare You To Move
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"You can't afford it? Edward, you work as head of your family's company!" I said, my eyebrows furrowed together.
"Bella. College tuition can cost up to one hundred thousand dollars, maybe two. Cars cost sixty thousand dollars. Plus the gas. School funds are going to cost thirty to forty thousand dollars every two years. I can't pull all of that off, plus the mortgage, the car insurance, doctor bills, and money to keep food on the table. I just can't."
My heart clenched.
"Edward, baby…I'm sorry, I didn't know that you…" I started, but just cupped his face in my hands, and leaned my forehead against his.
"No, I'm sorry I took it out on you. You don't deserve this. I'm sorry baby girl." He said, and kissed my lips gently.
I leaned in, and wrapped my arms around his neck, and he spun around, pushing me into the wall.
My breath hitched as he cupped my ass, lifting me up. I wrapped my legs around him, and moaned as his lips attacked my neck; sucking, licking, and biting.
"Mmm, Edwarrrrrrd." I moaned.
I looked in the mirror at our reflection, and pushed his boxers down with my feet, my eye lids closing.
He stepped out of his boxers, and shoved the shower door open, my bra being discarded in the process.
We stepped inside, and pulled my panties down quickly.
The shower was turned on, and the water trickled down our bodies. I stood against the wall, taking Edward with me, raking my nails up and down his clammy back.
He grabbed the sponge and the body wash, told me to turn around.
He trailed the sponge across my back, my shoulders, down to my ass.
He leaned against me when he got there, and breathed heavily in my ear.
"Edward." I whispered.
"This feel good, baby?" He asked, making smooth circles on my ass, partly on the back side of my thighs.
"Mhmmm." I dragged out.
I turned around, and pulled him to me, the sponge being forgotten about. "I need you. Now." I said, eyes half lidded.
He didn't give it a second thought as he entered me. I didn't yell out, I just closed me eyes, and bit my lip. This wasn't erotic, fucking. This was depression sex. This was therapy.
My body started rocking back and forth with the rhythm of Edward's body movements.
I shut my eyes tightly, and gripped his shoulders. I pulled him closer to me, and my heart leapt at the sound of our skin slapping against each other. The warmth of his body shot thru me, and all I wanted was more.
"Faster Edward." I whispered, and couldn't contain the moans that flowed through my mouth.
"I love you Bella. Come for me." He said, and I came in that second. I felt his thick, hot liquid pour out into me, and in that second…I didn't feel the world crashing down on my shoulders.
I just felt us.
Three weeks later
"Fuuuuuuuck." I muttered, and stumbled into the bathroom, lifting the toilet seat, and puking my brains out.
"Bella, I think you should see a doctor." Rose said from the bathroom door.
"No. I'm fine. It's just fucking…food poisoning or something." I said, not sure who I was trying to convince.
I heard her sigh, and step in, rubbing my back.
"Sweetie, your late. And your tired all the time, you have morning sickness, you fainted the other day. Bella, I think your pregnant." She said, and I pulled down the flush handle, and got to my feet.
"I am not pregnant." I seethed, and washed my hands, and got my toothbrush.
"Bella. Face it. You have to stop this! Have you had your period?" She asked in a ticked off tone.
"No." I said.
"Exactly. Just take a test, Bells. If its negative, Edward never has to know about this. If its positive…"
"If its positive, we're screwed!" I yelled.
"We're going to Walgreens. Get dressed." She said, and walked out of the room.
I sighed, and walked out into the closet.
"Helene, I need those papers by today." I said as I hung my coat up on the rack.
"Of course Mr. Cullen." She said, and walked out of the room.
I sat down at my desk, and sighed and put my head in my hands.
"Mr. Cullen…you have a call on line one." Linda told me, and I picked up the phone.
"Thank you." I said, and put the phone to my ear.
"Hello?" I said casually, glancing at the picture frame that had found its proper place, back on my desk.
"Edward. It's mom." Why would my mom be calling?
"Hey mom. Is everything okay?" I asked, getting up and motioning for Helene to leave the papers on the side table, thanking her with my hands.
"Edward…I think you should go home. Bella may need you." She said, and my eyebrows furrowed.
"Mom, you mind telling me what's going on?" I said, pissed.
"What's going on is you need to get home to Bella…you're wife." The words 'wife' and 'Bella' used in the same sentence put a smile on my face.
"Alright. I'm leaving. I'm leaving." I said.
I ripped open the box, and took the stick out, and stared at it.
Maybe I should just ditch this, and jump out the window, run as far away as I can get, and forget it.
I tried to be reasonable, and decided that Rose would most likely hunt me down anyway.
I peed on the stick, and put the cap back on, just like the directions said.
"Bella? You okay in there?" Rose asked from the other side of the door.
"Yea. I'm fine." What a lie that was. I wasn't fine! I was possibly pregnant with a baby that wasn't prepared for.
I opened the door. "We have to wait three minutes."
"Edward's on his way home." She said.
My eyes widened, and my nostrils flared. How the fuck could she call him!? BITCH.
"WHAT!? YOU CALLED EDWARD! WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT!?" I yelled, my arms flailing in the air.
"Bella, he needs to know if he's having a baby. And I think that if you two were together when you found out…""No. Rose, I cant believe you called him!" I started getting antsy.
"I didn't call him…technically. Esme did." My eyes widened.
"ESME CALLED HIM!?" Fuck my life.
"Just relax. It'll be fine. Besides…another little Edward running around…that's a pretty cute picture." She said, with a sly smile.
It did sound good. A little boy with Edwards hair and eyes, running around the house, playing with Alexis. NO! We couldn't have a baby…not now.
"Bella!?" I heard Edward yell.
"SHIT! Rose…tell him I'm out!" I whispered.
"No! Your going to tell him. UP HERE!" She yelled and I wanted to punch her in the face.
"What the fuck!" I yelled, and grabbed the test, and something caught my eye. I slowly lifted up the test to my eye level, and almost fainted at the word Pregnant.
"No, no no no no no! Damn it!" I sunk down to the floor, and tore at my shirt that was too tight for comfort anyway.
I heard the door open, and Edward walk in.
"Bella?" He asked, walking closer to the bathroom.
"Rose, what--" He started, but she cut him off. I was oblivious. I just stared at the wall in front of me, trying not to think about it.
"Bells? Baby…what's wrong?" He asked as he pulled on his trousers, and squatted down in front of me.
"Bella, look at me." At this point, I think Rose had left, being that the door shut.
I shook my head, and closed my eyes as the tears fell down the second they shut. I felt Edward's hand on my chin, forcing my face in his direction. I slowly opened my eyes, and looked at him.
"Edward…" I trailed off, but decided that I just couldn't tell him.
I squeezed the plastic test in my hand, and handed it to him.
Our world was mentally crumbling, Dust falling, walls collapsing, everything. But in the real world, we weren't that fortunate, and we actually had to face reality. No matter how bad it got.
He took it, and didn't say a word.
"Fuck." He whispered, and stood up.
I stayed on the floor, and in the corner of my eye, I would see him, his hand on the back of his head, walking in a circle.
"Bella, come on…get up." He said, and extended his hand. I took it, and stood up. He picked me up, and sat me on the counter. With his hands on my knees, he looked at me dead in the eyes, and sighed.
"Bella…we can't have this baby." He said, and I looked up at him.
"What do you mean we can't have the baby?" I asked, my heart skipping a beat.
"Obviously…abortion is out of the question. But…we cant keep it." He said, and I became livid.
"What the fuck are you saying!?" I shouted.
"I'm saying that maybe adoption might be best." What the fuck!"Are you high!? You think I'm going to give this baby up for adoption!?" I seethed.
"Bella, we cant afford a baby right now. We just cant." He said. extremely calm.
"This baby is your blood, and you want to give it away!?" I was literally going to kill him.
"Think about it. Another family can su---" I slapped him. Across the face, with such force that I actually hurt myself in the process. "You're a pig." I said between gritted teeth, and pushed him away, and got off the counter.
"Go fuck yourself, Edward." I snarled, and packed some things into a suitcase.
"What are you doing?" He asked from behind me.
"I'm leaving. If you don't want our baby, you don't want me. Take your ring, and shove it." I yelled as I threw the diamond at him.
"And where do you think you're gonna go? Hmm? Your not in Forks sweetheart." He said like the jackass he is.
"You haven't changed, have you?" I replied.
"Bella, your not leaving." Her said, and stepped closer to me.
"You gonna stop me? I'd like to see try." I snapped, and walked down the hall to the kids rooms, and packed some things for them.
I packed everything into the car, including the three little lives that didn't deserve this kind of stress.
"I'm going to your parents house. You want to fix things…call me." I said, and started the car.
I grabbed the door handle, and opened the door, and ripped Bella out.
"You are not leaving. You think this is how to solve things!?" I yelled.
"Mommy!" I heard Ben yell from the car.
"Get your hands off me!" She hit my arm, but I slammed her against the car.
I just looked into her eyes, which were filled with fury, and anger. I knew that she wasn't strong enough to fight me off. But if looks could kill, I'd be dead right now. Ten times over.
I held both her hands by her sides, and just stared at her.
"Kids…go inside." I said, not breaking my glance off Bella. She didn't argue.
The car door opened, and Ben and Ella got out, leaving the baby in the car.
"You are not. Taking my kids away from me." I seethed.
"I don't want to take them from you, Edward. So how could you even think of giving our baby away?" She asked, and I could see the tears in her eyes.
"And don't you dare say that we cant afford it. This is our child! We made it…together. On purpose or not." She broke away from my hold, shut off the car, grabbed the bags, and headed back into the house.
She was right. How fucking stupid could I be? Adoption!? What the fuck, Edward!?
I looked at Bella from the mirror in the bathroom as she sat on the edge of the bed, her tiny black cloth robe over her white mesh lingerie set.
I flushed my mouth out with mouthwash, and rinsed out the sink after. I set down the towel, and bottle, and shut the light.
"Freckles…we need to talk." I said calmly, and walked over to her side of the bed.
"Really? Because I thought that everything was so perfect, Edward. I don't want to talk. I don't want to talk to you. Alice is coming over. I think you should go out with Jasper. I think we need some time alone with other people for a few hours, don't you?" She said, and I could hear the hurt in her voice.
"What do you and Alice plan on doing?" I asked, and I knew she would get mad for me being "nosey".
"We're not going to go and get drunk, and have sex with other men if that's what your worried about. We're going to the mall. You know, sometimes I DO need to go shopping for things." She said. "Alright. Well, take my card. Have fun." I said shortly, and headed towards the door.
"I love you, Bells." I said.
"Yea. Love you too." She said as she stood up, crossed her robe together, and crossed her arms across her chest.
I gave a sly smile, and walked out the door.
I slipped on my black leggings with the button, pockets, and zipper with a white lace camisole, and a pink quarter sleeve cardigan with my Steve Madden slouchy leather above the knee boots.
I walked into the bathroom, and put on my gold eye shadow, and bronzer with mascara and eyeliner, and curled a few pieces of hair, shaking out the rest.
I shut the light, and walked downstairs. I walked into the playroom, where Ella, Ben, and Alexis were playing quietly.
"Mommy's going to go shopping for a little while with Auntie Alice. Are you guys going to be okay with Nana?" I asked, smiling at a grinning Alexis. She was holding onto the straps of her bouncer, bouncing wildly.
"YEA!" Ella yelled.
I laughed, and walked over closer. "Your gonna bug Nana for cookies, aren't you?" I asked, cocking an eyebrow.
"No we are going to be good." Ella said, a huge grin on her face.
"Okay. But I give you permission to bug her for cookies." I winked at them, and went to kiss Alexis goodbye.
"So…what's going on with Edward?" Alice asked, and I took a deep breath.
"I really wanted this to be a un-Edward trip." I said.
"Oh come on. Just tell me." She said, impatiently.
"I'm pregnant." I said, and Alice gasped, and hugged me in the middle of the mall.
"That's amazing! Oh my gosh! Edward must be so happy." She exclaimed.
"He said that we should give it up for adoption." Alice froze, and her eyes went wide."We're leaving. Now."
"Okay, what are you on!?" Alice screamed at Edward as she slammed her purse down onto the side table.
Edward turned around, furrowing his eyebrows at his pixie sister.
"You actually thought that Bella would give her baby up for adoption!?" She yelled, and I just crossed my arms over my chest.
"That isn't your business, Alice." Edward said curtly, and with that comment, I knew that Alice would blow up even more.
"That's my nephew or niece in there! Of course its my business. You already lost one baby…now you wanna lose another!?" With that comment, Edward would be the one screaming.
"Don't you talk about her like you knew her! You didn't even fucking know I had a kid!" He yelled, and jabbed his finger at her.
"Because YOU decided to cut me out of your life!" She yelled back, and I decided to go sit down before I was the one screaming.
"You were an alcoholic, Alice!" If Jasper were here, he'd have cut Edward's head off for saying that.
"You fucking coward! You did coke!" She seethed at him.
"That was in ninth grade! That doesn't even apply now!"
"GUYS!" I yelled, and stood up.
"Just shut the fuck up! Jesus Christ I'm getting a headache from you two." I said, and walked into the bathroom to get some Excedrin.
A few seconds later, Edward walked in, and shut the door behind him.
"What are you doing? Let me out." I said, trying to get him to move.
"You told Alice?" He asked.
"No shit. Of course I told Alice. She's my best friend. And your sister." I said.
He laughed sarcastically. "You gonna tell mom too?" He asked.
"Maybe." I said, getting in his face.
"You won't win this, Freckles." He said, and my eyebrows rose.
"Freckles? You haven't called me that since high school." I said, a smile approaching.
"I called you that the other day." He said.
"Oh." I said.
"Bella, don't think that I don't want this baby. I do, I swear to god, I do." No matter how mad I may have been at him, I knew that he was telling me the truth.
"I do too." I whispered, and peeked up at him.
"I meant to give this back to you. If you'll take it back." He pulled out the princess cut ring with baguettes, and placed it on my finger.
I closed me eyes, and nodded. "Of course I'll take it back." I said.
"Come here." Edward said, and pulled me into his strong arms. I started crying then. I gripped his shoulders, and tried to breathe slowly. He put his hand on the back of my head, and whispered soothing things in my ear.
"I'm so sorry I did this to you." He said. I pulled away slowly.
"That's all you ever say. Whenever you hurt me, all you can say is sorry. I don't want to hear the same thing over, and over, when all you ever do…is hurt me again." I said, my voice raising.
He was silent.
"This is what it is, Edward? We're supposed to be getting married, and you cant even talk to me." I said.
I wanted more from him.
"Let's talk. Lets talk right now." He said softly.
I brushed Bella's strands of hair out of her face, and ran my thumb over her smooth cheeks.
I could never think of hurting this woman, yet somehow, I managed.
I heard Alexis' cries from down the hall, and I sighed, and tried to pry my hands out from around Bella. Once I did, she turned around, and huddled into a ball. I pulled the blankets back over her, and walked out into the hall, shutting the door behind me.
I walked into the nursery, and walked over to the crib where the tiny baby inside was squirming around, trying desperately to get attention.
I gently picked her up, and kissed her forehead.
Her lamb like cries subsided, and she grabbed a handful of my shirt, and held it tight.
I sat down in the rocking chair, and brushed her hair back.
"I know things might be a little crazy right now, but nothing is your fault. When I first heard that you were coming, I was scared. I didn't think I could be a dad again." I told the little girl in my arms who was looking up at me, her eyes wide and curious.
"You're such a pretty girl, you know that?" I smiled, and when my eyes curved, the tears that had layered slid down my face.
"And if any boy hurts you, I'll have the shotgun ready. When me and mommy were dating in high school, Grandpa Charlie would always have his close by. But I was never afraid, because I knew that at that time I could never hurt her." I said.
"I know we haven't been together that long, but I already love you."
"Edward?" I heard a beautiful voice call.
I looked up at Bella, who stood in the doorway, one of my white dress shirts barely reaching her upper thigh.
"It's 2 in the morning, what are you doing?" She asked, brushing her hair back with her hand." I smiled at her.
"Go back to bed, Freckles. I'll be there in a minute baby." I whispered.
"I cant go back to an empty bed." She said.
I kissed Alexis' forehead. "I love you baby girl." I whispered, and set her down in her crib, tucking her under the soft blankets.
I walked over to Bella, shut the light, and listened to the giggles of my fiancée as we made our way back to our bedroom.
I propped myself up on one elbow, and stared at Bella as she drew small circles on her stomach.
"I hope it's a boy." She said softly.
I laughed, and kissed her neck. "Me too." I said.
"I'm scared, Edward. My head jerked up."Why baby?" I asked softly, taking her hand in my own.
"What if this baby…what if we lose this one too?" She asked, my heart breaking.
"Bella….don't talk like that." I tried not to raise my voice.
"Edward…I'm serious." She said.
"I wont let it happen, Bella. I wont lose another child. We will not lose another child. I swear."
Bella's cheeks were wet with tears, as she continued to trace her stomach.
"Okay." She whispered.