"Lavithian!" My other self gasped slamming the refrigerator door shut and looked at me with bugged eyes before calming down, "kid, you scarred me, don't do that okay? Now why don't you shew and shut your mouth about seeing me!".
I giggled again and put on the little kid façade, "wanna have a sleep over, beautiful miss?" I mentally grinned, this was gonna be fun, I know all the ways to sweet talk myself.
My other self blinked, a slight blush covering her cheeks as she scratched the back of her head sheepishly, "ah, shucks, why thank you, pipsqueak, but yeah see, I got some materia to steal and a whole kingdom to revive and-"
I fake gasped, "are you a princess?"
Yuffie laughed quietly, raising both of her hands up, "you caught me, now, really, kid, scram before I put you to sleep-"
"So you will have a sleepover with me? Vince and Vinnie were both gummy heads and said no, but I'm sure we can have fun, you can tell me bedtime stories about all your tales and how you got your beautiful hair, and-" I went on rambling while Yuffie stared at me, trying to cut in and leave, probably with the materia bag in the fridge I'm sure Red hadn't found yet. "oh, and we could steal all of Chocobo's materia, oh and maybe cid's-"
Yuffie's ears perked up and an evil smile lit up her, my, purty, face, "materia you say, pipsqueak?"
"oh, yeah, tons, he's a big meanie too, being all selfish and hiding them" I told her with enthusiasm, "but I know where everyone of them is, we could steal them and have fun with them in my room!" mental note to self, pick a spare room as a makeshift room since I bunked with Vinnie, and I'm sure Vince is gonna invite himself in and talk to himself about serious matters before the sleep..
"Well, kid, I like you already" Yuffie cackled, holding out her hand, "come on then, lead the way"
I faked shyness, "but miss, everyone's in the main room, I can't lead you through without getting caught, old man said he didn't want any of my friends coming on his home"
"no sweat, kid" Yuffie grinned, rubbing her finger under her nose, "you see, your looking at the best ninja in the world! I'm Wutai's single white rose, greatest of the great! Yuffie Kisaragi!"
"A ninja?" I gasped, putting a hand over my mouth to cover a grin of the irony of this scene, "you must be the best, can you teach me?" I knew this was the key, not that I'm saying me myself is this dense, but back then I was kind of.. Oh Levithian, full of myself back then, back here.
"Well, sure, just as long as you show me where the materia is" Yuffie laughed, grabbing me by the arm and putting me on her shoulders, "now, no hands or feet outside of your restriction area, mouth shut, and pointer finger ready!"
I rolled my eyes, thank Levithian that the kitchen had many walls in between here and the main room. I circled my arms around my, her, head and pointed to the kitchen exit. The first move she made my ears twitched with the sound of object clicking together and I looked down at the source, behind on the hip of my other self.
I grinned, Red's materia swayed in the open air, sparkling with joy. Mental note, grab them.
I pointed to the left the lead past the main rooms to the spare and guest rooms. I was surprised, I guess you don't really appreciate your real talent until your kinda out of body. No sound was heard, no air moved as my self sliced through it like pie, at ease with the scene and background, not even consciously aware of it. We had to swerve around the walls that directed followers to the bathrooms and lookout tower, then we finally made it to the main room where we both could start hearing the echoes of conversation.
"We should start mapping out are next route, get some information for Aerith when she wakes, and possibly attempt to keep a low profile, this is going to be a immediate in and out mission, we don't need any noise or any stops on the way, am I clear?" Chocobo's voice came as we stepped closer, murmurs of agreement carried to us. I felt my other self tense and her head tilted up to observe the ceiling, taking in the corners, rough spots, the weak, beams, and gaps between the blocks.
Hu, I would have done the same thing, but I didn't know I was that perspective of my surrounding. A dry grin formed on my face, I of course was the greatest, so I shouldn't be surprised.
Yuffie bent her knees, leaning most body weight forward before springing up against the main wall, just out of sight of everyone and into the shadowed corner of the ceiling, both her hands and feet braced against the walls, keeping us from falling. Everyone but Vince and Vinnie were there, a good thing since they had the most sensitive hearing.
She moved, bracing against one side of the wall and slowly inched her way to the other side of the room, one foot staying on the ceiling the other slanted on the wall, moving one step at a time. It was.. So .. So..
So boring! I hate being the passenger in this stupid slow ride! I wiggled and was immediately glared at by my other self.
I grinned sheepishly and bit my lip in apology. She shook her head before turning back to the objective at hand and continued on her marry way. When I was sure my other self wouldn't see me, I scowled at the back of her head before focusing on the stolen bag of materia on her hip.
I stole it first, so I'll just be steeling it back. I carefully flexed myself lower, careful not to throw my weight too much around so my clone wouldn't notice, outstretched my hand and… BOOYEAH! I attached the stolen materia around my waist and continued on with the mission.
"What about my girl?" Barrett spoke up shifting his position in the too small chair, his face gruff, "My Marlene can't stay away for long-"
"She can come anytime she wants" Cloud responded waving a hand at him, and I then saw a glint in his eye that I only saw when I looked myself in the mirror just when I thought of an awesome plan to get revenge.. That glint that meant he had a plan.. That same glint just before that time at the last reunion…
"-do me a favor?" I finally pulled myself up from Teef's awesome pancakes to actually see that Chocobo head was in fact in front of me.. Talking to me. He never talks to me unless it's to yell at me or ask for something that involves Teef.
"Whatcha say, Spike?" I asked using the back of my hand to wipe away the syrup that felt like thick slobber going down my chin.
"I just-" He started but I held up one hand and then belched, right into his oh so pretty face. I scratched my chin with a nervous chuckle when his lips thinned out- but then he surprised me. He just closed his eyes and rubbed the bridge of his nose with his pointer and thumb, took in a large amount of air before exhaling.
Hu, he usually explodes on me…somethin must be up.
"Continue" I said, pushing my partially empty plate of food away from me.
"I wanted to know if you could get my gel out of the bathroom"
Whu? "Hu?" I looked at him like he actually might have grew a Chocobo ass… I leaned around and squinted at his behind.. Nope, no feathers.
"Yuffie" Cloud sighed, snapping his fingers in front of my face to get my attention, "Mar' is in there and.. Well.. As you know.. "
I raised my eyebrow in humor, "can't yeah just wait?"
He lifted up a order, opening his mouth but I waved him off, "fine, fine, god, can't go anywhere without your dinky, gravity defying-" "Hu?" "-hair, just wait a minute, spike, I'mma goin" I got up holding my stomach and waited till I let out another air bubble from my mouth before grinning up at him and skipped off to the bathroom, whistling and- "why'a following me?"
"I'm in a hurry, Yuffie" Cloud stated with a shrug of his shoulders, his eyes sparkling with something that I didn't feel real comfy with- but I just stuck my tongue out at him and went for the door handle, hearing the shower inside, "Oh, I left it on the rack next to the shower head, so if you could-"
"Yeah, yeah, I gotcha" I grumbled, scowling at him. Who the hell puts shower gel inside the showering area? But then again, it is Chocobo ass we're talkin about, we always knew somethin was up with his head anywho. I opened the door, swatting away at the intense steam that suddenly attacked my face.
Gosh, no wonder the heating bill was up, Mar' takes up all the hot water in less than an hour!
I squinted and stalked towards the closed shower curtains, chastising the Chocobo head for all his Chocobo ass worth, and smacked a hand of my eyes just as I yanked the curtains aside a bit and blindly looked for the dang gel… owy, that's hot water, what do they feed the child? Must sneak some-
"-fire down in her food or somethin, jeez, now where is-" that stupid bottle? Maybe I should tell Mar' what I'm doin, she's probably staring at me like I'm the lunatic around here, "I'll just be a sec, Spike just wanted me to get his dang gel- doesn't he have a stash in his closet anywho? Ha! I betcha he's getting as old as The Old Man! Imagine that, memory loss, I betcha it's from all those dang fumes, he probably sticks his nose right-"
Hu, never knew Mar' had that deep of a voice, maybe she's hittin puberty or somethin, ah well- where is that damn gel? If I keep this up my hands gonna be in steamed roasted-
"Hang on, would'ja?" I sighed moving my fingers a bit so I could see where that damn thing was, gosh how many things of conditioner are in here? There must be like fifty bottles of named brands, not to mention all the body wash, soap bars, shaving cream, hair dye (hair dye?), wash clothes-
"I told yeah to hang on, jeez, patience, child, I'll be out of your pretty way in a moment, maybe you could lend a hand and help me find that blond jerk's gel? He just has-"
"Yuffie," Lavithian, is that all that child can say? Might as well change-, "I would appreciate it if you would get out".
"I know, I know, but hang on, maybe the things behind yeah, squat down, 'kay? It'll just be- AH!" I screamed when I placed my foot on the edge of the tub and slipped forward, the dang hot spray of the water hittin me right in my back- god how can a child-
Hu? Hey, that sure is a mighty soft landing, maybe they bought a new shower mat, it sure is bulky and-
I lifted my hand and rubbed it against my eyes fiercely to try to get all the moisture away from it and came face to.. Chest with a pale bicep, yummy, it sure is muscly, hey, that's strange, I didn't know they sold-
"Yuffie" It talked? Man, now that I actually listen, that sure does sound a hell of a lot like-
"Vinnie?" I squeaked as I spied strands of black hair tangled in my other hand. I felt heat rising up to my neck and face. I gulped and had trouble keeping my eyes in one spot. "Oh, fu- Lavithian, I'm so, so, so , so ,so sorry, Vinnie, Cloud told me-"
I froze just as a light flashed right above us and my head snapped up to see Cloud above us with a camera, and his cell, grinning, with that dang glint in his eyes.
"Pay backs a bitch, ain't it?"
This wasn't good.
That damn bird better keep his mouth shut, if he even mentions me-
"Even better," Chocobo head continued and grinned, that same forsaken grin, "Yuffie can entertain her"
My Clone suddenly lost focused and slipped. I squealed and pushed off, landing on my one foot at an odd angle and fell down in a heap, my ankle throbbing from the sudden impact. I grumbled and sat up-
"Hey, Whatcha doin in here, fo'!" Barrett shouted aiming his armed arsenal at my clone with a glare, "you a spy, fo'?"
Chocobo head opened his mouth but my other self beat him to it.
"What in the flying heavens in Levithian is going on here?" My clone yelled exasperated, her arms flailing, "how do you know my name? Did Godo set you up for this? I knew this ship was too good to be good, I knew it! I'mma gonna rip that man's head off, I told him-"
"F***in shut your trap, brat!" Cid yelled, scowling, "how the hell did you get in here?" he turned to me with hell burning in his eyes, "You let her in, brat? If you did, I'm sure as hell gonna kick your ass-"
"Yuffie?" Aerith's sweet voice rang out innocently.
"Yep?" Both the clone and me answered, froze and turned to each other. I blinked and she blinked, I scowled, she scowled, "she was talking to-" we both stopped what we were saying and both stepped towards each other, both opening out mouths-
"Hu?" we both asked again and we both stuck our tongues out at each other. Man, this was gonna be so aggravating, I'm sure as heck ain't changing my name, I was here first and-
"Why don't we all just sit down and talk about this?" Aerith offered with her saint smile, "you must be exhausted from your travel, my, my, all the news of the world's greatest ninja sure goes around my hometown" she giggled, her eyes sparkling and I saw my other self blush and sheepishly scratch the back of her head with a silly grin on her face, "we would be more than honored to have you with us, we have an extra room, plenty of food-" both of our stomachs growled,"-and we have an offer we would love for you to take".
"Offer?" my other's ears perked up.
"We?" Chocobo head scowled, his eyes narrowing, Barrett nodding his head in agreement, Cid cursing in the background, somethin about another kid.
"Now, now" Aerith chastised, "the poor girl must be worn out, let's get her feed and we can talk about it in the kitchen, how does that sound, Ms. Yuffie?"
I opened my mouth but this time Aerith gave me a look that shut me up so my clone could answer herself.
"This ain't no scheme?" she asked looking around the room suspiciously, "no strings?"
"It involves materia" Aerith assured her, and sure enough that got the spotlight.
"Don't forget fightin!" I added poundin my fist in the air but winced when it vibrated to my ankle, but ignored it stealthily to watch this unfold- and grinned.
Oh, yeah, we got her.
"Food first," my clone grinned, her hands rubbing together, "then we got all night to talk about our little offer- there better be materia and ass woopin involved"
Aerith clapped her hands together in glee, "perfect" and walked on over to my taller self, wrapped her arm around her shoulders and lead her to the kitchen, and when I bent over to attempt to follow she through a glance over her shoulder, shaking her head.
I pouted and laced my finger together, fanning my eyes.
She shook her head and then stealthily ignored me, disappearing into the kitchen with Chocobo at their heel, as well as Cid…
Which left me with Teef, Red, and Barrett. They stared at the doorway that everyone just disappeared to, look at one another, then at me…
"Well, I better help make that little girl something to eat" Teef announced getting up and dusting off imaginary dust before sashaying out of the room.
Which left me with Red and Barrett.
"If you will excuse me," Red announced bowing his head a bit before lifting himself up and walking on all fours out of the room, "I must continue my search for my materia" he threw a look at me before disappearing out of a different hallway.
Which left me with Barrett.
He opened his mouth, but I held my hand up, "don't, you can stay, I'll go" he looked somewhat guilty. I shook my head and went back on my hands before flipping myself up to my two feet- only to tumble back down, mentally cursing at the pain that coursed through my ankle all the way up my leg.
"Hey, kid" Barrett called getting up and quickly made his way over to me, "you'se okay?"
"Psch," I scoffed shooing him away, "I'm dandy, healthy as a horse, rowdy as a bull, never been better, fluke as a fiddle, sunny as-"
Barrett scowled and yanked me up by the back of my shirt, letting me dangle in the air in front of him, my shirt nearly suffocating me, "if you don't babble, maybe someones' would actually b'lieve yeah"
"Hey!" I protested, "I can be believable all I want, you hear? I could lie all I wanted and none y'all would even know, I could tell yeah you were growing feathers up all your asses-"
My head snapped to the sides of the room, expecting to see the Vinnie twins, but I didn't see neither and looked back at Barrett, scowling my own scowl and jabbed my finger in his face, "don't you go and start talkin like Vince or Vinnie, got it, big shot? I can talk the way I want to talk, no one can tell me what to do when I don't wanna do it. I have a will of iron, confidence as high as the Highwind can take yeah, soul as tough as Chaos, legs as tough as that dang hell hound, crazy as Giga-"
I smacked my lips shut. Whoops, now that I replay it, none of them have encountered Vinnie's housed guests. It's not my issues to discuss, "No one"
"Tell me, fo, or else I'mma gonna assume you gots more secrets and I'mma gonna tell Spikey and he's-"
"What, now you're a tattle tale?"
"I ain't no chile, fo-"
"You're actin like one, with all this yappin, and blah, blah, blah-"
"You'se the one yappin like a damn Chocobo with its head cut off"
"Now you're using birds to defend yourself, smooth"
"Why you little-"
"Now you're using your size to intimidate-"
"If you don't shut up, I'll-"
"Thought so" I stuck my tongue out at him and suddenly I was hosted higher and Barrett was stomping through the hallway directly to our left, cursing his mouth out just as bad as Cid, calling me all the names in the book, while I'm thinking how he can deal with Mar'… wait, Mar's actually a good kid.. Not that I'm saying I'm-
"-and good riddance!" Barrett yelled flinging the door to Vinnie's room open and barging in on the calmly talking pair.
They stared, Barrett was huffing for breath from his tantrum, and I grinned and waved sheepishly at both of them.
"I have no freaking way you two handle this hell child" Barrett seethed through his clenched teeth, his words suddenly more formal, "and I don't want to know, she makes everything complicated!"
I gazed innocently up at him, body still dangling dangerously in the air by his huge hand, foot throbbing little pulses of pain every time I was swung.
"Is that all?" Vince asked, blinking once while he leaned back and crossed his arms over his chest.
"No" Barrett snapped at the teen, "little trap needs her foot looked at" and with surprising gentleness, not that I didn't know he was gentle, he was always gently to me, but usually I was on my best behavior, put me down in between the sitting Valentines and slammed the door shut behind him.
"Heal me!" I commanded breaking the awkward silence and thrust my injured ankle into Vince's lap, grimacing when the move made the pain intensify, and laid my head in Vinnie's lap, grinning up at him while he gazed down at me with curious eyes, his eyebrows going up, arching into a well groomed half moon that disappeared into his bandana. "Whatcha two been doin? Smoochin each other?"
Vinnie titled his head down into the collar of his cloak, scowling and Vince calmly searched his pockets for his heal materia….
"Yuffie" Vince said coming out empty and stared me down until I gave and unhooked the pouch from around my waist and tossed it to him, "I'm assuming the rest is-"
"Yeah" I told him, already seeing the list he was gonna count off of.
"What was the commotion outside?" Vince asked, his focus on the bag in front of him, looking for his materia- probably Vinnie's too.
"You're being quiet, Vinnie" I ignored the question, looking up at the older looking Valentine with a grin, "common, you don't have to be shy, I'm all ears for yeah!"
His eyebrows went up higher if it was possible.
"Hey, I said for you" I highlighted my words. He inclined his head to the side, acknowledging it.
"Answer the questing" Vince prompted.
I raised my head and stuck my tongue out at him before letting it drop back down on Vinnie's lap, "you don't even care that Barrett was actually using not so mild language to me!"
Vince opened his mouth but a loud screeching voice cleared all the questions from his mind, and I grinned, reaching up and playing with Vinnie's buckles while it all played out from there.
"Where's my Materia! Who dares steal from the greatest thief the world ever gave birth to? Who dares go and steal from Wutai's single white rose? Who dares- OW! I dare you to hit me one more time, Old Man-OW! Why you-"
"I'M NOT OLD!"
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