A/N: So, I took a break from writing shonen manga/anime fan fiction, in order to pay homage to one of my favorite manga/anime: YAKITATE!! JA-PAN! Dude.

So, this OBVIOUSLY has Kazuma/Tsukino, because they're freaking MEANT TO BE. Yes. I do not approve of yaoi OR yuri in Yakitate!! Ja-pan, because, hell, JUST because Kanmuri is a HOT piece of work does NOT mean he's GAY. Yes. :D

I'm rambling aren't I? :') That's what I'm good at, though ;)

Little Satoshi Azuma was what one would call a prodigy. Having two loving parents who believed that bread was god, and both of whom were successful in the field they admired so much, he was taught to bake bread at the tender age of two.

His father was the world renowned baker Kazuma Azuma who was almost as well know for his smile that sent fangirls begging for more as his bread which was known throughout the world. His mother was the lovely Tsukino who was known for her charm and presence of mind in almost any situation that presented itself, which was not uncommon, her bakery Pantasia having been set up in almost forty-five countries. Their

Small family was, in its member's eyes, the most perfect thing in the world. A mother and father who cherished their family and each other above everything, and a tiny child who cherished himself above everything, were what this unique little family consisted of.

So, while Satoshi (or Sato-chan, as his father enjoyed calling him) was a prodigy, he was also a spoiled child. This was a fact, however, that neither of his doting parents realized, who felt that their son was the most faultless being in the world, and refused point-blank to believe any of the stories of the many baby sitters who were employed by them to watch over their little bundle of joy.

So, one day, when both his parents were tired of the continuous complaints of the sitters, and, of course, the loss of privacy to be alone with each other, they asked his godfather, a Mr. Kawachi to please watch over the little bundle of joy for them. He took the child in happily, understanding the pleading look in his friend's faces which he recognized from the days when he still worked for the main branch of Pantasia.

When the child's grateful parents dropped off the child at Kawachi's "bachelor pad", he thought that maybe having a few hours with a child wouldn't have any harm on him, having spent too much time in the presence of supermodels and the like.

How very wrong he was.

Kawachi had assumed, when he took the baby for the time span of approximately one day, that Sato-chan would spend ninety-nine point nine percent of that time SLEEPING. Unfortunately for Kawachi , he had never watched Baby's Day Out, the Ultimate Guide to the Noble Art of Baby Watching (yes, the capitals are intended) .

Here are a few memorable dialogues from that fateful day when Kawachi decided never to have children in his life.

" NO, SATO-CHAN! THAT IS NOT A PACIFIER! THAT IS A KNIFE!"

"NO SATO-CHAN, THAT BUNNY MAGAZINE IS NOT FOR KIDS!"

"NO, SATO CHAN, THAT CLEARLY SAYS ICHA-ICHA, NOT ITCHY-ITCHY!!"

"NO!!!!!!!! SATO-CHAN!!!!!!! Actually, it's all right, tear it, I don't even know that mushroom guy."

"NO, SATO-CHAN, GET OUT OF THAT KITCHEN YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO WAIT BEFORE OPENING THE PRESSURE COO-!"

-BANG-

And that was that.

So, the two proud parent arrived at his "bachelor pad" in the evening, both of them appearing suspiciously ruffled and flushed. And glancing at each other. And blushing. That sort of thing.

"So, Kawachi-san, how was your day with Satoshi-kun?"

"Er… I've never experienced anything like it… ?"

"Ah, now I understand why those fuddy-duddy sitters always complained about Sato-chan! They were jealous of him!"

That's likely. "Oh, yeah, yeah…"

"Hey, Kawachi, why are you both so… er… dusty?"

"Nothing Azuma, don't worry about it…"

"Is that smoke I smell?"

"…No? Tsukino, do you smell anything?"

"… Whatever you said Kawachi-san."

"What do you know, Tsukino, you have a cold. Kawachi. I smell smoke, I say. I do!"

"…Er, no, you don't."

"…"

"Okay then! Bye!"

"Bye, Kawachi-san! Thanks again! We'll do this again!"

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! THAT CHILD IS THE SPAWN OF SATAN!

"Yeah, yeah, we should."

"Bye, then!"

"… Bye."

And so, Kyousuke Kawachi decided on that day to never, ever, have children of his own.

And so, that was that. Again.

A/N: Yes. And the Icha-Icha reference was for the Narutard :')

So, huh, yes. I am done. I have accomplished my goal of writing at least one fan fiction that IS NOT of the shonen genre. A day of firsts, I believe. ;)