Hello everyone, sorry I didn't update lately! I've been really, really busy.
Anyways, I have a bowl of Lucky Charms and a Diet Pepsi, so I'm good to write.
Disclaimer- I do not own Twilight or Edward or Bella.
Chapter 4- Out of mind
4 days passed and Edward Cullen never talked to me again. Sure, there was a casual 'hello' when we met in our only class together. But a hello wasn't satisfying enough for me. And it annoyed me that I was so immersed in someone.
It also annoyed me that Edward had a secret he was hiding and didn't feel like telling me. I shouldn't be speaking, I thought to myself.
When Biology class came, I gathered my books, my coach bag and flats reminding me yet again, of my old life. I walked into the small, muggy, classroom, taking my seat in the middle of the classroom. I sighed, putting my bag on the back of the chair.
I felt eyes staring at me, from the entire time I was in the classroom. But they weren't just any ordinary eyes, they were his. Stop obsessing.
Edward Cullen was staring at me. When our eyes met, something weird went through myself. It wasn't the ordinary flush of my blood, bubbling inside my stomach butterfly feeling. It was so abnormal to me; there were no words to describe it. Our gaze ended; Edward was forced to break it to answer a question. How he knew the answer? I had no clue.
I looked down at the desk, not bothering to take any notes. I just stared, hating Forks now more than ever. Even though Edward hardly talked to me, the look in his eyes previously when he gazed at me wasn't from someone who didn't express any interest at all. Oh no, his eyes were interested all right. And were they also pained? I knew now, because of him there was no way for me to escape Forks. That feeling I got every morning before school and all during it, would only increase if I moved anywhere.
But where would I be able to move to? Nowhere. I was stuck to live in Forks, Edward Cullen or not. It wasn't my choice at all, but everyone else's. After all, who wants a delinquent for a pop star? Publicity may be raised, but that doesn't sound good anywhere. I'm forced to run from what happened, but while others forget, I can't. I can never forget what I did. And what makes it even worse, is that I can't remember why I did it.
I guess my face looked depressed or saddened, because Edward looked at me again.
"What?" I asked, wondering if at any chance he'd answer me.
"Are you alright?" His voice was full of concern.
"Why would you care?" I muttered, hearing the bell and gathering, yet again, my books.
"I don't know," He said bleakly.
"Then what do you know, Edward?" I asked, holding my books in my he didn't answer, I tried to walk out of the classroom, but being me, my show caught on the metal of the door on the way out and I fell over.
Blush was rising in my cheeks, hot and warm, but as I stood up, I noticed that Edward had already gathered my books for me. I tried to think how he could appear out of thin air like that, but I was too mad to even care.
"Thanks," I said tersely, turning yet again, to walk out the door.
I felt a hand on my shoulder. "Wait, Bella," Edward said, dropping his hand just as quickly as it was placed. His hand was cold. Ice cold.
"What is it now, Edward?" I asked, feeling my emotions gathering up. I needed to get out of here fast. When he didn't answer again, I added, "Why do you keep talking to me when you don't give a crap at all?" I knew from the look earlier, that he did give a crap, but I needed to hear it from him. For all I know, I could've been imagining things.
"You don't know anything," He said blackly.
There was a pause. When this time, I didn't speak, I heard Edward mutter something to himself.
"Bella, it really is better this way."
"If we're not friends," Edward sighed.
"It is, I should know."
I left then, pondering what exactly he meant, and running into the bathroom. When I checked that no one was in there, I took out the scissors from my backpack, and sliced my arm, watching as the contact of the blade made it turn white, then as the blood leaked out, I felt myself forget all my worries… and my troubles.
I knew it was bad, what I was doing, but I couldn't stop. It was the only way I could forget everything even if it was just for a few seconds.
I needed to stop again, I couldn't keep doing this to myself, but I couldn't see any other way. If anyone found out, they'd think I was the emo-self pity girl. They wouldn't see the pain I was suffering, or my past that made me do this- just the outside of it all. And I couldn't stand to have people look at me that way again. I would have to stop.
I would have to try and forget my past. It may be difficult, but it was paining me even more just to think about it.
Forced to forget and move on. I couldn't live in the past forever.
Okay, this chapter was a little short, and slightly boring, but it will get better, I promise!!! I have this whole thing worked up, but it takes like forever to get there!!
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Until the next time I update, with an amazing chapter might I add,