Thank you millions for the reviews. They are my own personal brand of heroin. (See what I did there?) I adore them, really. They make me want to call into work and just write instead. Maybe I'll catch the flu or something…
A few seconds after walking out the door, it dawned on me that I had no ride, no cigarettes, and no real knowledge of where the fuck I was. I turned back around and walked through the door to Alice and Jasper who were waiting for me. Alice's arms were crossed and Jasper was the picture of cool with his hands in his pockets. The dogs were standing behind them, peeking out, and eyeing me suspiciously.
"Back to the party, then?" Jasper said with a smile.
"I'd rather go home, but seeing as you're too shitfaced to drive me anywhere, I'll have to wait," I sighed like a little pussy. Wah, wah. I want to go home at eleven at night because I was used and abused and also, I kind of need to jack off.
Jasper squished his lips up on the left side of his face and nodded. "So. Party it is, then! Alice, get this poor fucking sap some weed and let's go see about getting into some trouble."
Alice pulled a delicate, but severely tarnished silver cigarette case from her purse. She snapped it open and handed me a joint. I closed my eyes as I took it and mouthed thank you at the ceiling. Jasper was already strolling across the house with Alice right behind him when I opened my eyes. The three dogs were lined up in a row looking like some kind of marshmallow army. They didn't move when I took a step, so I picked up the pace and caught up with Alice just as they stepped outside the back door.
I lit the joint while walking and the bright flame momentarily blinded me. My arm collided with someone else's arm, but I didn't stop to apologize. In the sea of people that was now Rosalie's backyard, I assumed they wouldn't even notice anyway. As we walked, I puffed, enjoying the hazy state I was sinking into. I intended to save some of that shit for later since I couldn't afford to buy my own yet, but I smoked nearly the whole fucking thing by the time Jasper stopped walking. I collided with Alice's back and fumbled for the tiny end of my joint, trying to catch it before it plummeted into the grass. I lost it. I frowned at the grass for what seemed like minutes, but was probably only seconds before Jasper thrust a cup of beer under my nose.
"Drown your sorrows, man. Bella's not going to fuck you."
I looked up at him and took the beer, doing exactly as he suggested and saying nothing.
"I don't know, Jas. Bella's been unusual lately. She DID sleep with Jake more than once. She never does that."
That same uncomfortable expression from earlier crossed Jasper's face and lasted a little longer than last time. Maybe it was just my paranoia, but I eyed him up and down.
"Maybe she's settling down. Becoming a lady," he said with an easy smile.
"Ladies don't get fucked against chimneys. Slutty little whore girls do," I hissed and tossed my cup on the ground. "Dammit. I needed that cup."
Jasper reached over the shoulder of a blonde who was watching some emo kid pour a beer and grabbed me a new cup. The girl turned around and I actually recoiled in horror. She kind of looked like her face might actually have been hit with an ugly stick. She redefined the expression. Her eyes landed on me and she took the cup from the boy who was pouring it. He was slobbering all over her. I smoothed my shirt down and attempted to put a more natural look on my face as I reached over to pour myself another cup.
Her fingers touched my arm, gripping my bicep as she leaned in close. The music wasn't loud enough here that she had to be right up in my ear. I stared straight ahead as my cup filled, pretending I was concentrating on not filling it entirely with foam.
"You must be Edward. From LA. It's great to meet you. My name's Jessica!"
Her voice was punctuated with small gasps, like she had a cold, but she flicked her nose with her index finger and I gave her my full attention. A bit of beer ran over the edge of my cup before I stopped and stood upright. If she flicked her nose again, I would walk with her anywhere. Jasper and Alice were behind the girl making slashing motions across their necks. The emo boy who had been pouring the beer for her had his arms crossed, glaring at me.
"I am. It's nice to meet you, too, Jessica." We both stared at each other for a minute. She had to know why I was here and living with Jasper. She lived in this tiny hick town full of teenagers with nothing better to do than drugs and gossip. It had to have been a signal.
"Bella told me you were into cars… Want to come see mine?" She smiled at me and sniffed lightly. My fingers tightened on my cup. Her voice was horrific, her hair was too blonde, she had on a shit-ton of makeup and STILL looked like hell, but if she asked me to snort a line off of her somewhat squishy stomach I would do it just to get high. And then I'd lick it for good measure.
"Love to. Lead the way," I gestured for her to start walking and Jasper and Alice sighed behind her. I shrugged at them and followed Jessica through the dark.
She was parked way down the hill. As soon as we rounded a corner in the driveway, she pulled a small button bag out of her purse and held it up in front of me.
"I'll sell for one hundred dollars. The whole rest of the bag," she said and wiggled it a bit.
"You're going to charge me? Jessica, can't we work something out?" I sighed and slipped my arm around her waist. She purred a little and dropped the bag in her purse.
"I usually don't do that," she glanced sideways at me and I smiled.
Willing myself not to look at her face, I dipped my head and kissed her neck gently.
"I think you want to work with me," I breathed and pulled away slightly, stopping us in the driveway with my arm still around her waist. It was easier in the dark since I couldn't see her features, but I still lifted my full cup to my lips and chugged it. Liquid courage. I tossed it behind me and wrapped my other arm around her, pulling her against me. She was giggling and twisting her head away, but I put my hand behind her head and turned her to look at me. It occurred to me that what I was doing was probably more despicable than Bella banging some drunk bastard against a chimney, but I couldn't find it in me to care at that moment.
"I just don't have any money right now, Jess." She was staring up at my eyes as I massaged her neck. "If you could just help me out this once, I promise I'll make it up to you right now." I leaned in again to kiss her neck and she willingly tilted her head to let me. I kind of felt sleazy right then, with my lips on the neck of some ugly bitch just to get high. And even though it was a short fucking high, I still enjoyed how much better I felt about myself after snorting a line of it. The pull was always there. So here I was seducing my drug.
Jessica sighed loudly and thrust her hand into her purse. Her fingers came out clutching the baggie and I ran my hand down her arm to take it from her hand. She bit my lip hard and I tried to back away.
"Not so fast, asshole. We'll take it together first, and then you can pay me back," she said and I sucked my bottom lip into my mouth, trying to see if she broke the skin. I was beyond angry, but I wasn't about to fuck up my chances by doing something stupid.
"Yeah," was all I could manage to say as she led me over to a car and opened the bag, spilling its contents onto the hood. I was itching to grab my now-useless bank card and cut myself a large portion, but I respected that this was still hers. It was probably the only ounce of respect I'd shown her. She was tapping her own card on the hood and ran her tongue down the edge she'd used to separate two lines.
I gave her a raised eyebrow and sighed, taking the card from her and using the other side to split mine into two lines. "Maybe your nose is big enough to take a line that big. How long have you even been doing this?" I handed her back the card and reached into her purse, angry now. This was taking too long. I grabbed a Bic pen and pulled the end off with my teeth, spitting it onto the ground. I shook the ink out of it and ripped the tip off, again with my teeth.
"Do you have a knife?" I demanded. She shook her head and I tossed the empty pen to the ground. "You are so fucking unprepared. Drag me down here and then fuck with me? Was that your plan? Christ."
She looked nervous, but I didn't register it as I leaned over the hood, held my left nostril closed, and snorted the first line of fine white powder. The familiar burn and the drip that started in the back of my throat made me feel on top of the world. I paused only for a moment before I sucked up the second line. Sniffing and massaging my nose, I breathed out through my mouth. My heart was racing. I hummed through my clenched teeth and turned to Jessica who was dismantling a tampon. I guessed she was going to use the tube. Fine idea, if you were up for shoving tampons up your nose. I licked my finger and ran it over the first faint line, massaging my gums with it, then repeated with the second line. I grabbed Jessica's head in my hand. Her cheeks pushed forward and she looked up at me, startled.
"Thank you," I said and pressed my lips to hers. I released her head and walked back up the driveway with a new spring in my step. I felt like I was the only person in the world who mattered. I could do anything. I could have anything. Anyone. My eyes were scanning the crowd for Bella. No one was talking to me and I felt kind of invincible as I pushed past my new classmates, searching now for anyone I recognized. I pulled out my iPhone and glanced at the time. Twelve thirty. The party was still going strong. I meandered through the crowd, dodging people like they were weave poles as I made my way back to the pool house.
My face was flushed, but not from the humid evening. No one was in the pool house. I blinked into the darkness and turned slowly in a circle. My eyes didn't feel like they were keeping up with my vision, and everything had motion blur as I turned back towards the steps.
"The fuck is everyone?" I mused out loud. My fist was clenching and unclenching in my pocket and I finally closed it around my phone again. I dialed Jasper and listened to the ringing. It seemed to go on forever before his voice mail answered. I grunted in disapproval and dialed again. My free hand went to my hair and I ran it through in frustration. I let my head fell back to look at the roof of the house, but no one was visible.
I was twitchy and couldn't keep my hands off my face as I walked back towards the party, still dialing Jasper. Every time it was voice mail. I had no other fucking numbers. I didn't know who here even knew Jasper. Jesus Christ. In frustration, and in bad judgment, I tossed my phone at the ground. It went dark and I left it lying there on the bricks. Someone came at me, laughing and pointing at my phone and I smiled back, not really listening. I walked past him and then realized who it was. The kid who was hovering over Jessica earlier.
"Ah, hey," I said as I turned back around to him. He was picking my phone up off of the ground. "Where's Jessica?"
The expression I'd mistaken for laughter seconds earlier was actually a bit sadistic looking. He was laughing, but not with me. I didn't have time for this. I guess he held grudges.
"Look, man, I'm just trying to get home. I can't find anybody. I didn't fuck your girlfriend and I'm not going to. I just want to ask her a question," I was holding my hands out with my palms facing him. "My name's Edward."
"Ben. And she's not my girlfriend yet. She's back at her car. She wont talk to me and I can bet she wont talk to you, asshole," he taunted.
I smiled passively at him and headed back through the party towards the driveway. What a fucking night. This was the most disjointed, aggravating night I'd ever experienced. Nothing was going smoothly for me. I should have stayed home and unpacked, but I got fucking cocky, as usual. It started off right. It started off with hot girls and drugs and went downhill fast. I guess hot girls and drugs could do that. Now I was walking back through a party I'd never even really attended to a fuckugly chick I'd have to beg for a ride home. Possibly do more than beg. I don't know if I had it in me to bang her for a ride, but after my little stunt earlier, and my smashed phone, it was looking like I was probably going to have to.
I rubbed the back of my neck and pushed through the last group of people. A few were walking towards their cars ahead of me and I kept my distance. I didn't know which car was Jessica's, since we'd never made it that far, so I was looking through windshields to try and find her. What felt like a fucking mile later, I spotted her sitting behind the wheel of a Jeep crying her damn eyes out. What a fucking mess. She looked like hell. I almost kept walking, hoping I'd make it home before morning, but she spotted me.
I lifted my hand in a halfhearted wave and walked around to the passenger side. She clicked the automatic locks down and scowled at me. Turn on the charm, Cullen.
"Jessica, look. I'm really sorry. That was stupid of me to treat you that way. It'd just been a while and I've been drinking, and I had no right to use you like that," I said, cupping my hands around my eyes and peering at her through the tinted window. I was staring at her hair instead of her face because my stomach felt a bit uneasy already.
Her squinty little eyes stared back at me full of tears and hope. God, I was such a dick. I smiled my best "I'm a prick, but you want me" smile and her finger twitched to unlock the doors. I grinned and pulled the door open, hopping in beside her.
"Edward, you owe me," was all she said as she started the car. I reached over and played with her hair a little to try and appease her, but not disgust myself. Fall Out Boy blared from her stereo and I pretty much had to swallow down my vomit.
"I know. I'm an ass. It's something I'm working on. Thanks for giving me a second chance," I scratched my face again and turned down the radio to a more manageable level. "Would you mind dropping me off at Jasper's house? I can't get him on his fucking phone. I think he's ignoring me for ditching him earlier."
She smiled and looked over at me for a second, but it was long enough for the tires of her Jeep to run off the side of the road slightly. She jerked the wheel back and focused her attention back on driving and I pulled my hand away from her hair to put on my seat belt. I didn't want to insult her and have her wreck the car in a rage, but I was glad it was a short fucking ride back to Jasper's. We passed Bella's truck on the way out and I cocked my head, wondering why I hadn't seen her.
She made small talk and told me all about herself. I didn't have to say much to keep her going, which was really nice, because I had nothing in common with her at all.
She was telling me about her favorite movie when we turned down Jasper's driveway. I could barely see the porch lights through the trees. I looked over at Jessica and she looked like she was waiting for me to say something, so I nodded enthusiastically and smiled.
"So cool! I can't believe you lived that close to famous people," she trilled and kept right on talking. Whatever.
I nearly jumped out of the car before she stopped in front of the house. Jasper's car was parked in the driveway, not the garage. Jessica was talking and I was trying to shut the door without being too rude. I at least needed to have her as an emergency contact, so I couldn't fuck this up too badly.
"Hey, I'll call you later once I get a new phone, okay? See you Monday, right?" I asked, nodding through the crack I'd left open in her door. She nodded back and opened her mouth, but I cut her off again. "Awesome. Talk to you later. Thanks for the ride."
I shut the door and jogged up the stone steps to the house. It was dark inside and I fished for my key in my pocket. Once it hit the lock, there was a scramble on the other side of the door. I swung the door open and someone mumbled 'shit' and two sets of footsteps took off up the stairs.
"It's just me, guys. We'll talk in the morning, Jasper, you fucking douchebag," I said and searched for a light switch along the walls. When I found it, I flicked it on and there was no one there.
I headed for the stairs, taking them two at a time. I was going to spend the rest of the night unpacking, but first I had to piss. I was already undoing my belt when I swung open the bathroom door and flicked on the light.
I stared straight ahead at the mirror in front of me. Standing behind the door to my left, reflected in the mirror, were Jasper and Bella, naked, and clutching their clothes to their chests.
Oohhhhh. Poor guy. Four naked people in one night. And none of them are with him. Review! I hope you guys are liking this. :)