Chapter 1 ~ Vacation & Hallucinations'


"Anthony Masen Cu…" I yelled and saw Jasper already after him.

We were on the final leg of our European vacation.

We'd traveled to Scotland and Ireland and we were now in England. Our last stop before meeting Rose and Alice in Paris and I was extremely nervous and Emmett and Jasper knew it.

We were so close to where HE was and I couldn't help the thought that he might find out my secret I'd been hiding for 5 years.

"Bella, Earth to Bella…"Emmett was shaking me.

I looked up at him and his beautiful daughter, Kelsi, she was a few months younger than my son and they were the best of friends and cousins.

"Sorry Em, I'm just nervous and want to get out of the airport and to the hotel. You know I didn't want to fly into Heathrow and you know why! We could have stayed in the country a little more." I was protesting.

"Hey, if you run into Ed.." he stopped. "if he sees you, he sees you! It is meant to be. He doesn't know you're here, we didn't even tell him we were coming and his about 60 miles away!" Emmett scolded.

I sighed and gave a fake smile.

Jasper came back with my little menace over his shoulder, laughing.

"You are in so much trouble Mr.! No video games when we're back in the hotel room!" I stated.

Emmett and Jasper growled, because that meant they couldn't play either.

We got to the hotel room and made our way to the Suite.

It was lovely and large.

4 bedrooms and 4 baths a living area and grand kitchen.

We'd all have our own rooms and the kids would share a room.

Anthony stalked off to his room and slammed the door behind him, before Kelsi could make her way with her bags.

"Damn it! I said quietly, he's so much like him! All brooding and everything! It breaks my heart to see him like that,, only because I start missing HIM and feel guilty for never telling HIM and for making you guys keeping this secret as well! I'm a piece of crap!" I said and buried my face in my hands.

"Hey! Carlisle said it was for the best as well. Remember that. We all agreed that he would be resentful if he was pulled away from Oxford and his dreams, Bella. So just remember that, the next time you want to beat yourself up. You're not the one who had the final say so, it was our parents and as much as it kills them to spend a few weeks a year with him and never say anything, it would kill Ed.., um HIM more than anything else." Jasper said.

"I know Jazz, but one day he will find out and then what!!!???!!! We can't keep him away from his home forever. His internship is up at the end of the year and I heard Carlisle say that he wants to come back to the states and open a practice with your dad!! Then WHAT?!?!? He'll have to know!!!" I was now crying.

Jasper rubbed my back and told me to go take a nap before we went out for some sightseeing.

I agreed and retreated to my room.


I though I heard my name…

I looked everywhere, but never heard it again, maybe I was dreaming, I was extremely jetlagged.

I'd just gotten back fro Iraq, where I was helping the troops get proper medical care and hadn't slept in almost the 3 weeks I'd been there. When I wasn't helping our troops, I was playing with the children (knowing my dreams weren't going to come true of having my own) and helping them with there injuries. I was tired of being lonely and I so wanted to see only one pair of eyes, they eyes I saw every night of in my sleep. Big, Brown and sad… The last time I'd seen her, they were red and puffy. That's when I told her that I was leaving for England. It was a 1 and 10,000 shot, so I had to take it. I'd be a doctor in less than 5 years, instead of the 8 or more it took. It was an intense program and I couldn't have any distractions, not that Bella was a distraction, but I couldn't be there to give her my all and support, so I had to leave her. But, not before we had the most amazing night of our lives. We were both virgins and knew that we wanted to each others first. So we spent the entire with each other, making love over and over again. We couldn't breathe, we were finally exhausted and collapsed, falling into a deep sleep, only to be awoken by my alarm. Bella stayed asleep, I kissed her forehead and snuck down the tree.

I left a note on her pillow and it was simple. (I love you with all my heart and no one will EVER fill your space, ever, no matter what! Be Safe, My Love! ~E)

I went home and showered, put all my bags by the front door and waited until it was time to leave. I heard a familiar rumble down the drive, shot off the couch and ran out the door, it was Bella. She ran into my arms and sobbed. I looked up at her and I saw her truck smoking. I led her inside and up to Carlisle's office.

"Carlisle can I ask you a serious question? I 'm not going to have any need for the Volvo, once I'm gone, so I was wondering if we could give it to Bella, I'd feel so much better, her truck is a death trap and is about to blow up outside (Bella went stiff at my side)." I'd said.

"Yes, that's a perfect idea!' my dad said.

Bella tried to protest, but we all insisted.

We went to my room to say goodbye and I gave her little quick kisses all over, trying to take her scent and face and everything to heart, so I'd never forget. I'd walked over to my dresser and took our one of my favorite night shirts and gave it to her, I told her to keep it safe, I'd be back in a few years for it and she'd better still have it. She smiled and cried. I kissed her tears away and walked her out to the Volvo. I left everything in there, including my favorite leather jacket and letterman's football jacket, telling her these were at her disposal too and I'd retrieve them when I came for my shirt. We'd promised that we were not going to write, for fear I'd chicken out and want to come home. My family would be allowed to tell me how she was, nothing like 'sad' or mopping', but 'doing great in school' and such, nothing if she dated others, etc…

With that I kissed her softly and put her inside the car. "Take Care My Love!".

She drove away and that was the last I'd seen of her, I didn't even want my family to send pictures of her, but Alice always the non-listener, sent a Graduation picture of all of them and said Bella had already completed the first 2 years of college, by Graduation and that she was opening her own business (no name given or what it was) and she was going to finish college, determined to do 6 years in 3, so she'd have her Bachelors degree.

That's the last information I had on her.

It had been almost 5 years and I wondered if she had completed her task. I'm sure, being Bella she would have, she' was stubborn!

I continued through the airport and thought I'd heard a familiar laugh as well, but knew better, Emmett was too busy with his family and slew of businesses he and Rosalie owned, it was defiantly my lack of sleep.

I headed to the taxi's and climbed in and giving my address.

I got home, put my bags by the door and went to my bed, not even bothering to shower. I kicked off my shoes and drifted away.