Hallelujah by Life Is A Highway66
Holy shit! I'm so sorry those of you who wanted an update! I started this at a very difficult time in my life (divorce, break ups, friends, finishing high school, starting college, a few people in my life passed away), and now everything's only just started to calm down! The good news? I saw Avenue Q twice in London before it closed!
Anyway, I nearly had this finished, but my computer decided to stop working, thus losing a ton of work and stories! Just a warning of a morbid ending...
I sat on the steps to the apartment building, head in my hands and elbows digging into my thighs. I ignored the uncomfortable feeling, and focused on the music that was seeping from mine and Rod's window. I had gone out early, before Rod was awake, and when I had returned, the music was playing. It was early afternoon now, and as the soft wind pulled the tune nearer to me, I couldn't figure out what was stopping me from going into the apartment. There was a moment of silence. Then the piano started again. I heard there was a secret chord, that David played and it pleased the Lord... Why? Why was I finding it so difficult to bring myself to go to that damned apartment? My thoughts were interrupted by the figure out Princeton. He leaned against the railing and looked up to the window. "Wow," He mumbled, "What's with him?"
I sighed, "I dunno, he's just bein' weird, and there ain' nothin' I can do." For the first time in the majority of the day, I looked up. A rigid motion, however; my neck has tensed up and it hurt to move it even slightly. "What can I do?" There was a silence. His blank expressions looking straight through me, before he looked back up to the window. "He's been weird since Ricky broke up with him." This was intended for no one, but secretly I wished to get Princeton's attention. "I wish there was somethin' I could do..."
"Get them back together." Princeton, I guessed, blurted out. I looked to him again, and he seemed shocked at the fact that he had said this idea out loud. It was an idea, and so I sat in silence, and waited for him to elaborate on his idea. At least one cycle of the song passed before he continued, "I mean, you can try and convince Ricky to go out on another date with him tonight, or tomorrow."
I hated the fact that if Ricky agreed, I wouldn't be able to watch Rod sleep. But right now, I had an even bigger urge; the urge of wanting to see my best friend happy again. I knew that Ricky worked in a diner only a few blocks away, and so it could be only a matter of a few hours before I saw my best friend smile again. I stood, grabbed Princeton's arm, and before he could even take in what was going on, we were halfway to the diner.
The worst decision I've ever made. Why couldn't I of gone into the apartment? The ending of this tale would have changed dramatically.
We waited five minutes as Ricky served a few elderly customers. Under the apron and uniform, it was difficult to believe that he was sporting rock hard abs, and preferred men, to be honest; especially in the way in which he was flirting with the majority of female customers as they swooned as he walked past them. When he saw Princeton and I, he rolled his eyes, and it came to my attention that he may have deliberately of been going slow to make us wait even longer. Why? Was all I could think. Why was he pissed at us, when it was him who had broken up with my best friend?
He finally got to us, and took off his apron, throwing it on the back of the stool that was pushed against the breakfast bar. I realised then why Rod must have been so heart-broken that Ricky had broken up with him. The tight shirt he was wearing defined his abs even more perfectly than I remembered. "What do you want?" He growled.
"Uhm." What the fuck's his problem? I could hear me and Princeton thinking the same thing simultaneously, "I was wondering if you can do something for R-"
"No." He snapped, walking closer. A glare beginning to form. I was beginning to wonder why the Hell Rod was so sad to see this nutcase go. "I'm not doing anything for him again. Nor for you. Tell him that if he wants something, to ask himself. Not to ask his bitch to ask."
Princeton spoke up this time, pressing his hand against Ricky's chest, and trying to push him away. "Look, we're just trying to cheer Rod up. Whatever reason it is that you broke up with him, can't you just put it behind you and go on one more date?"
His glare fell; making way for a more sorrowful expression. "Wow. You two really are stupid." He stepped back from Princeton's hand, and put his arms around his chest. "What do you think you know about mine and Rod's relationship?"
"No. No I didn't." He chuckled, biting his lip. "Y'know. I doubted Rod when he told me that his roommate was naïve. But now I think; I was the stupid one. I deserved better than him all along. I hate the fact that I have to look like a babbling moron like you. The night that Rod broke up with me, he told me he was so in love with his roommate that he thought going out with me would make him happy – and that I looked so much like him."
"Wha-?" I asked. How had I not seen this before? Of course Rod was in love with me! Jesus! Staying up late to make sure I got home okay. Constant calls to make sure I was breathing. That night I heard him talking to someone... How upset he had said my name. He was dreaming of us. Not just us but... us. Then earlier... I- I really think... I really think I love you, Nicky!
"I just laughed." Ricky continued, "I mean, you're straight, right? There's no way that you'd be interested in a relationship with another man?"
I- I really think... I really think I love you, Rod!
I ran home.
I don't know why. Some part of me always knew what I would find in the bedroom. But I continued to run. I don't know what happened to Princeton. I don't know what happened to anyone I pushed over in my attempt of getting into the apartment. I just had to get there. I had to make sure my gut feeling was wrong.
I slammed the door open to the apartment building, ignoring Kate's cries of "Nicky, what's wrong?". I flew up the stairs, not remembering my feet touching a step as I crashed into the apartment. The music was playing. All other doors to the bedroom and bathroom were shut. The coffee table was cluttered with papers.
I love you Nicky
Why doesn't he love me
He'll realise soon
I LOVE NICKY
I stumbled back, and my gut turned. My attention was toward the door of the bedroom. I had slowed down. The steps were slow. A few seconds between them. My hand was on the door handle. That was when I began to cry. Almost as if the piece of wood was whispering to me. You've done it. You've gone an' killed yer lover. I creaked the door open. As soon as I did, the ground swallowed me. All that was left was my knees on the floor. Fist banging against the carpet. And cries of lost lovers echoed.
I knew that I would never see my angels feet touch the floor again.
I've seen your flag on the marble arch,
But love is not a victory march,
It's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah,
For Jared and Danny