Guilt

As I descended the staircase down to the dance I couldn't help but scan the crowd for his face. When I found it our eyes met and I turned away reassuring myself he hadn't seen me. I slowed my normally brisk pace to have a few more moments to think before I told him my decision. " What happened?" he asked in a casual tone. I knew then I was fooling myself and that he had seen me. " Nothing," I lied trying to hide how upset I was. " You always have been a bad liar," he said with a laugh. " I'm leaving him," I said with a slight smile secretly celebrating the fact that he knew me so well. " I'm doing it for me. I don't expect anything, except maybe a dance," I admitted with a shy laugh. He took he in his arms and the moment was a treasure. For those few short minutes that I was in his arms I could let all the years and memories come rushing back. Being there with him dulled the pain. When the song was over he took my hand and lead me over to a quiet bench.

Talking was the last thing I wanted to do now, but it was the only way I could have him around to comfort me. " Do you want to leave?" I heard myself say as if it were someone else. " You read my mind," he said with a smile. He grasped my hand again and I gave no objection grateful for his touch. Neither of us knew where we were going, but I followed him happily. Before I knew it we where in front of the loft. I went along with everything, happy in fact that he still wanted me. We sat on the couch and talked for a while, but the tension became too much to handle. His face was unbearably close to mine. He spoke in a voice no louder than a whisper; his irresistible lips seemed to be getting closer with each syllable. He suddenly leaned in and his lips met mine. I made a noise of surprise, but showed no sign of discomfort. He pulled away abruptly. " I'm sorry I...," I cut him off before he could continue with his apology with my certain lips. With this he knew not to object. He took me in his arms and we twirled lazily into the bedroom. That night I got the call of Bart's death, while I was in bed with the man I loved.