Warning: slight spoilers for 4.22, boys kissing
Rating: PG-13 (nothing big yet…)
Disclaimer: They aren't mine.
Word Count: 1,031
Summary: He has never seen Dean grin that way. He's seen Dean's smirks and sneers. Those cocky grins that often get him into trouble. Forced smiles to send Sam away, let no one understand what's going on inside him. But not this. Never this. This… this is innocent. Honest. Boyish and sincere.
Castiel is an angel, is the thing. Angels can only be righteous and scornful of demons. Their Father created them as such. To be good; to be pure—to know the difference between vileness and naivety, know when to save and destroy. Castiel sees the woman in the skimpy outfit. He guesses that she isn't a demon even though she's half-embracing, half-throwing herself over Dean's lap. Even though Castiel feels an overwhelming desire to yank her hands away and make her disappear. Vanish. Go away. Send her somewhere Dean isn't.
He's quiet all this time. Has been content with watching Dean interact with others, commandeer like he owns the establishment. Castiel has gotten quieter when the woman approached them, eyeing the elder Winchester like a piece of meat. Dean doesn't seem to dislike her advances though. Hasn't seemed to notice that Castiel's looking away, breathing harder; trying to calm down. But Dean sees him now, catches him staring when he stole a glance. Castiel doesn't know what Dean sees in his eyes, however from the way the man shakes his head and smile convincingly, he must have seen something significant. When he starts walking towards Castiel, while that unsteady anger inside him hasn't dispelled yet Castiel feels slightly elated. Gladdened that Dean's walking away from the girl.
"Hey, Cas," Dean greets, grinning. With that grin, Castiel will never be able to deny him anything. He knows it. He has doubts if Dean does. He hopes he's not being taken advantage of because of that, though. In case Dean knows. "You okay?"
Castiel barely hides his discomfort. The way he simply doesn't fit in this place. Men wearing leather jackets and trying their luck on the billiards table. Drinking until they cannot stand. Even if Castiel changes into their costume he cannot fit in. But Dean is having a good time here. Trying not to think about what Sam has done. What has been done. Castiel doubts if he can stomach the idea of taking away whatever sanctuary the man has constructed for himself. So he lies.
"I'm fine, Dean."
Dean nods as if convinced. They both know he isn't. He's turned around, headed to the bar for their drinks. Where surprisingly the girl still stands, waiting. Smirking. Castiel feels like he lost something big. Like they lost their chances in ever defeating what has been unleashed to the world. (Surprising that the world is ending but no one in this place seems to notice or care.) Anyway, he feels rejected. Like he's gone back to being on the sidelines watching yet again. Watching, but never being allowed to do anything. It's a bad feeling. He doesn't want to feel it again. Castiel's hand grabs Dean's arm, stills him. Pulls him back with a small tug.
It isn't a plea. It isn't a cry. It's a request. And Dean notices. Understands the tone in Castiel's voice. He doesn't know why or how, he just does. The same way he knows Sammy's hiding something from him. He meets Cas' gaze and frowns when the angel turns to avoid his. As if embarrassed, and from the blush on Castiel's face, Dean thinks he's right. In his head, a small Dean kicks himself. Be considerate, idiot. It tells him.
"Yeah, Cas?" It's softer. The way he says it. Like he's coaxing the angel to reveal his darkest secret. Like he's waiting for Castiel to confess he just had an epiphany of some sort. Then again, the world's been fucked-up lately and Cas is an angel. He wouldn't be surprised if it's an epiphany that's actually bothering Cas.
"Don't." Go there, Castiel wishes to add, yet doesn't.
Dean studies him for a while; mimics the slight tilting of the head that Castiel is known for when he's trying to figure something out. Trying to understand something about Dean, in particular. Then all of a sudden, with this distance, Dean leans in. Kisses him in front of everyone. Castiel just stares, eyes wide and transfixed on Dean's green ones. Sees the tenderness in them that Dean usually doesn't show. He never looks at the women like that, Castiel figured. Not one, not even Cassie. And Cassie had been special to Dean, Castiel adds. To witness it is overwhelming, gives him shivers but he doesn't mind. He deepens the kiss, in fact. Lets Dean know that he's alright with this. Castiel knows he's lightened up in an instant. Satisfied somehow.
When Dean breaks away, he's grinning.
It takes Castiel's breath away.
He has never seen Dean grin that way. He's seen Dean's smirks and sneers. Those cocky grins that often get him into trouble. Forced smiles to send Sam away, let no one understand what's going on inside him. But not this. Never this. This… this is innocent. Honest. Boyish and sincere. Castiel doesn't have the words to describe the exhilaration he feels. It's directed at him. This rare, beautiful grin.
Castiel cannot speak.
Dean chuckles and kisses him chastely on the lips.
"Okay, Cas," Dean teases, bringing them back to the angel's previous discomfort. Concedes effortlessly.
From then on, they sit together in comfortable silence. They're watching everyone else, like outsiders in a world that doesn't really belong to them. That they don't want to belong in. A bar isn't normally as chaotic and disorganized. But this bar, this small place isn't for them. When Dean breaks the silence, he does it by leaning in. Coming closer to Castiel, hot breath on the angel's ears. Castiel smiles instinctively as he feels Dean smile.
"You were jealous, weren't you?"
Amusement. Wonder. Understanding.
"Yes, I was."
Dean drops a kiss on the juncture between Castiel's neck and shoulder, relishing the tremor that runs through the angel as he did so. He has all night to quell Cas' insecurities.
"Don't worry," he says anyway. Whispers even more, "I'm yours, remember?"
Castiel smiles then. Looks at Dean, bright blue eyes twinkling.
And I've always been yours.
It's been thought of seriously. Taken into consideration for a long time—Castiel has had a lot of time, after all. But he doesn't voice it; doesn't need to.
Dean already knows.