Subtle

Fujino Shizuru, seitou kaichou of Fuuka, master of manipulation and an expert in subtlety. Efficient and resourceful; anything and everything she wants done - it is done, and with utmost precision and care. No exceptions.


Did you notice?

It has been months since the Carnival and my transition from being Natsuki's inappropriate friend to normal friend, to acquaintances, are going splendidly.

Indeed, I would have enjoyed being by my Natsuki's side like nothing had ever happened, as though I had never revealed my true nature and feelings to Natsuki, but I can not.

Having Natsuki learn of my feelings had only troubled her – forcing her to stay my friend so that I wouldn't be hurt, even at the cost of her own discomfort and grief - that is why I can not burden Natsuki anymore, not with my feelings, my friendship or even my presence. I have decided that it is time for me to leave from her life.

I began my little operation ever since my graduation or maybe a little earlier, I was subtle in distancing myself, so subtle in fact I may have came across as though I had never intended to leave her side, I had done it in a way that even Natsuki would not have noticed the distance I placed between us. How did I achieve this? It is because Natsuki was the one to do it.

During the time of my graduation I behaved inappropriately – immense amount of teasing and openly groping her - all in hopes that Natsuki would feel compelled to keep me at arms-length, and it worked out perfectly.

I'd admit I enjoyed it a little - at the time; to be able to hold and be openly affectionate to the girl I longed for so long; to be able to speak the words I had wished to say, it was truly a treat however it was bittersweet.

Whatever I did, I knew it was not done into inviting arms, every tease and every touch it killed me inside because I knew my Natsuki didn't enjoy it for a minute and… nor did I.

My teases were not filled with love or due to mischief - instead it was filled with regret and due to my scheming plans. My touches were not because of admiration but for the hope of leaving her side. And her responses - although according to plan - still hurt me - having to witness and hear the disgust in her voice; it just drove me to harden my resolve to leave Natsuki's side all the more…

On the day of my graduation I was miserable inside, I wonder if you ever noticed…


^-^ thnx for reading guys,

Originally this chapter was supposed to be alot more angsty and have some dialogue but when I tried to do that, the dialogue started to move the fic into another direction... (I might continue wif that after im done with this but for now I froze it) and when I rewrote it, I ended up wif this - it's got the main idea across (i think) but definitely not at the angst feeling level I prefer it to be... on wells I'm leaving it to you angst readers out there to make up whatever I couldn't write down!