A/N: So before you all read, you should know this is a parody and in no way serious. The story spawned from a hilarious thread on IMDB regarding the fabulous clothing and decor choices made by Stephenie Meyer throughout the twilight books.

It is a contributed effort from various posters who came together and created the Team Khaki Community on LJ.. to which we now unleash on you all.

If you head on over to our profile page you will find links to LJ community, where you will find a ton of fantastic manips done from various contributors relating to Khaki Incarceration Story.

Enjoy and remember.. it's just for fun.

Team Khaki does not own twilight or any of the character or any of their clothes (baha) they all belong to SM.

KHAKI INCARCERATION

Prologue

Bella ran to the door as quickly as she could, trying not to trip over her unusually large sized swollen feet which were hidden inside of her rubber boots. She had not yet dressed and was only wearing a bathrobe and the boots. She opened the front door slightly, allowing herself to peek. It was Edward. He was majestic. Bella realized very quickly that she had to get dressed and only her best outfit would do today. She led Edward to the kitchen table; he had a catalogue with him. She wasn't sure what it was but excused herself to run to her room and get ready.

Bella stood in front of her mirror deliberating on shoes. She had put on her best long khaki skirt and blue blouse (Eddie's favorites!) but she just couldn't decide on shoes. Orthopedic sandals? Comfy rubber boots? Maybe the platforms Esme had loaned her? Bella wasn't sure what was up with Esme these days.

Carlisle had said she was feeling poorly, and put her on some new vamp drug. She seemed better, but had grown some facial hair. She seemed to like it. Bella purchased her a trimming set at the Newton's place last week, and Esme was ever so pleased.

Bella finally decided on the orthos, it would give Eddie something to stare at for awhile. He liked her feet. Ed was wearing his fro today, so Bella chucked hers on and headed downstairs….

Edward was still sitting at the table reading the catalogue, which Bella could now clearly see was "Undead and UnWed – Clothing Boutique' catalogue. He had circled several items, most likely for Alice to order online later. He lifted his head and frowned.

"What's wrong?" Bella asked.

He lifted the pages and showed her an item.

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"It doesn't come in tan, Bella." He sobbed..

Bella tried to comfort Edward, but her attempts were interrupted by a knock at the door.

Still distraught, Edward let Bella answer the door while he choked back his sobs.

When Bella opened the door, she was shocked to find Stacey and Clinton of "What Not to Wear" and a camera crew there waiting.

Things were very tense at the Cullen house after that. It turned out that they had been nominated for the family edition of "What Not to Wear", and they had been secretly filmed for the last two weeks.

Bella and Edward did not understand – they both always wore their very best khaki when going out – what was the problem?