Disclaimer: It's just a fanfic. What did you expect?

Just a silly little thing that came into my head the other day and demanded to be written.

The Ape and the Angel

Ever since that Armageddon business Aziraphale would sometimes find things in his bookshop that he did not remember bringing there. Usually, though, they were just books with ridiculously colourful covers. The only way they could possibly bother him was that some of them attracted customers. This wasn't much of a problem as long as he remembered not to open the shop regularly.

This, however, was different. The angel stared at the gap between the bookshelves. Behind them there were more books. Two walls of books forming a seemingly endless tunnel, which, Aziraphale was quite sure, hadn't been there yesterday. Was this Adam's doing as well? The angel decided to have a closer look.


Half an hour later he was still walking. There were new passages opening on both sides of this one. He didn't know most of the books surrounding him, even though he had had time to read a lot of books in his life. And, of course, he was quite sure his bookshop wasn't that big.

Could this be…? No. This was impossible. He could vaguely remember reading about something like that somewhere, but he was also almost sure it had been in one of those fantasy novels that had turned up some time ago. Of course they had been a gift from the Antichrist himself, but none of them seemed quite that demonic, not even the one with the tortoise…

Could this possibly be… Aziraphale took a turn next to a shelf full of brightly coloured paperbacks and was distracted.

Holy books. Lots and lots of holy books for religions he had never even heard of. Lots and lots of different gods and goddesses. This was almost as good as the misprinted Bibles!

Aziraphale was by now quite sure the collection didn't belong to him, but surely a look couldn't hurt anyone? Could it? For a moment the angel hesitated. It was too good to be true. What if someone was trying to tempt him?

Oh, just a look! What's the worst that could happen?

The Book of Anoia looked particularly intriguing. It had a picture of a spatula on the spine. Carefully, Aziraphale climbed to the top of a ladder and reached for the book. What was that? The book appeared to be… stuck. The angel pulled at it a little harder.

'Oook!' said something somewhere underneath him. Startled, Aziraphale let go of the book. The ladder jerked suddenly backwards.

And this is how the angel Aziraphale fell. Off a ladder, that is. He landed on something soft, furry and orange. It also seemed to be alive. Yes, the loud, irritable 'Eeek!' and the flailing of hairy limbs were definite clues.

'Oh my!' Aziraphale muttered as he tried to get off the creature's back 'I'm really sorry about that. I didn't mean… I was just… And the ladder…'

It stopped flailing and allowed the angel to get off. The ladder was broken. There were bits of wood everywhere. Some of the books had fallen off the shelves. And in the middle of all this sat…

'An orang-utan?' Aziraphale said in disbelief. This was getting weirder and weirder.

'Ook.' The ape nodded.

'I'm sorry,' the angel apologised again, and then he asked 'What are you doing here anyway?'

'Oo-' the ape began.

'And, for that matter, where are we?'

'Ooook,' the ape explained as best it could 'Ooook, oook ooooook.'

'Really?' the angel asked.

'Ook,' the ape confirmed.

'I'd better help you clean this up then.'

'Oook,' the Librarian agreed.

And this was where the ape who couldn't be bothered to rise met the angel who wouldn't allow himself to fall.


An hour later they were still in the L-space and Aziraphale was learning lots of fascinating things (the difference between 'Ook' and 'Ook', for example), when they suddenly heard someone coming. The footsteps were getting closer and soon a man in a perfect black suit and dark glasses emerged from behind a bookshelf (At least, it was better to think that was what happened. The geometry of this place could get confusing otherwise).

'Aziraphale!' he said 'Where've you been?'

'Hello, Crowley,' Aziraphale said calmly 'This is the Librarian. Librarian, meet Crowley, my…' He hesitated. 'acquaintance… A demon… Um…'

'What's going on here, angel?' Crowley said 'Where are we, how did we get here and why the… why are you talking to a mon-'

And this was how the ape met the demon. They didn't get along very well.