The house was quiet as it had been for the past week. The family still adjusting to being a member less and being back at home. Hermione had watched as the whole family had disintegrated and splintered off into their own little worlds with very little communication between them each other. Ron, in her opinion was taking it very badly. He had hardly left his room all week. She stood outside the door for a second before knocking on it softly and pushing it open. Ron was lying on his bed staring at the ceiling, his arms crossed over his chest and his knees bent. Hermione sat on the edge of his bed and looked at him. He hadn't moved to show that he recognised her coming in.
"Do you want some lunch?" Hermione asked him and watched as he shook his head but didn't move his eyes from the ceiling. Hermione sighed and sat back slightly to look at him properly. He was pale as ever and there was dark shadows under his eyes. He looked marginally better than he had when they were camping but still not the same old Ron Hermione had memories off at school.
"Are you feeling alright?" Hermione asked quietly, failing to sound casual as she had hoped. Ron's eyes finally flashed to hers and she saw glints of anger in them.
"No." Ron nearly spat and Hermione nodded, her wide eyes still on his. His resolve softened slightly and he sat up. He placed one of his hands on her shoulder and took a bracing breath. Hermione had a feeling that he had been working himself up for this moment. He lent forward quickly and pressed his lips against Hermione's lips. They were hard and desperate. She could feel his anger and grief through his lips. His hand slipped off her shoulder and ran its way slowly down her back until it reached the hem of her t-shirt. Hermione kissed him back and he picked up speed. Kissing her hard on the lips, he pushed his scarred fingers up under the hem of her shirt and Hermione nearly gasped at the feeling of his fingers touching her hot skin.
She pulled apart for a moment and Ron looked at her fiercely but all Hermione could see was the tears threatening to fall from his eyes and the frown on his forehead. With a small sigh Hermione kissed him again. He needed this, he needed her and somewhere in her own mind she needed this too. He kissed her back eagerly and pressed into her. She let him push her onto the mattress and felt him move so he was lying over her. His legs went to straddle her and he pushed both his hands up her shirt. Hermione's own hand lingering on the edge of his t-shirt, with her free arm wrapped securely around his neck. She gasped properly when his fingertips brushed the fabric of her bra whilst the other hand went to the small of her back and pressed her stomach into his own abdomen. His lips still crashing against hers with force. He bit at them and sucked and she knew they would be bashed and bruised after. Hermione didn't register at first that he had pulled her up slightly and tugged off her shirt until he broke apart to whip it over her head. Hermione gasped for breath and felt suddenly self conscious under his gaze. His eyes roamed her frame and lingered on the scar that spread its way across her tummy, just below her bra. Ron crushed his lips to hers again she felt his fingers reach for the button on her jeans.
Hermione knew that Ron had had sex before. Lavender had made sure that she knew, rubbing her nose in the fact one night back in school. Hermione had been privy to all the glorious details of Lavender and her Won Won. Lavender could never really keep much to herself about the relationship and Hermione would always find her talking about it when she walked into the room at night. She felt the bottom of her jeans be pulled open and Hermione's head screamed warnings at her.
"Ron..." Hermione breathed and her throat felt dry. "I've never..."
Ron's eyes flashed to hers before they looked away. She saw the regret and guilt in them.
"I..." Ron trailed off, as if he couldn't quite form the words. Hermione took pity on his reluctant expression and with a small sigh pulled his chin so he was looking in her direction, still not meeting her eyes.
"I know." She spoke and couldn't quite mask the sadness in her own voice. Ron met her eyes, confusion and shock evident on his features before it changed to realisation. "But I don't care. It's just I've never - I thought you'd want to - I mean, I don't know what I'm doing or..."
Ron nodded and kissed her again. He had lost his urgency with those few words and seemed to do nothing but kiss her now. His hands painfully still on the mattress. Ron suddenly broke apart and rested his forehead on her shoulder, breathing deeply.
"Ron?" Hermione asked after a long moment had passed and he still hadn't moved.
"I can't." Ron half groaned into her bare skin and she felt his hot breath lick her shoulder. "It shouldn't be like this. I dont want it to-"
Hermione stayed silent and waited for him to elaborate. There was another long pause before Ron moved and sat up, his eyes looking anywhere but her. He climbed off the bed and perched on the edge of Harry's. Hermione stared at the ceiling for a moment and then looked around for her shirt. She jumped as Ron handed it to her wordlessly and she pulled it on quickly.
"I'm sorry." He mumbled and he rubbed at his eyes viciously. "I shouldn't have done that."
Hermione looked at him reassuringly but he didn't meet her gaze, instead preferring the carpet.
"Ron it's fine." Hermione muttered and Ron shook his head.
"It's not bloody fine." He growled darkly and Hermione watched him as he sprung to his feet and started to pace. "Nothing is fine. I'm not fine. How can it be fine?"
Hermione grabbed his wrist mid pace and pulled him down onto the bed beside her and they sat and looked at the opposite wall. Hermione's fingers still wrapped around his wrist to make sure he didn't try to stand up again. Suddenly he shook quiet violently and a sob left his throat. His ears burned red and Hermione wrapped her free arm around his middle and pulled him into her side.
"It's ok." She soothed, squeesing him tightly. "It will all be fine soon."