A/N: I KNOW IT TOOK ME SO LONG TO GET THIS ONE UP, I'M SORRY DON'T KILL ME!
That was to the runner of this challenge (It just wasn't coming to me, hun) to the rest of you; I hope you enjoy this one! It's for the Evita the Akita's Photo Challenge. It's supposed to be humorous although I kinda wanted to kill myself when I got this prompt. Any red-blooded Angel/Collins shipper would. But I eventually got myself together! Coming up with a plot was actually the hard part. All I could think of was writing Angel and Roger kissing! *shudder*.
Love you all!
Disclaimer: I don't own RENT. Jonathon Larson (May he rest in peace) owns everything! All the characters will go back in the toybox when I'm done! I can't promise they'll be in the same condition, though. Roger will probably be badly traumatized. And Angel might just want to kill me when this is all over.
Truth or Dare?
Everyone gathered in Mark and Roger's loft attempted with limited success to ignore Maureen Johnson's groaning as she hung upside-down from the sofa. Collins was on the other side of her and had the pleasure of being the one who had her feet waving in his face. Mark and Roger sat at the metal table in the kitchen, Roger scribbling in a notebook and Mark glaring down at a script. He had to memorize it for tomorrow because Buzz Line's teleprompter was on the fritz. This week's big story was an ongoing debate between two second-rate politicians, the subject being New York should really have same-sex benefits. There were not-so-subtle clues that Buzz Line was on the side of the party apposing the subject.
Angel and Mimi each gripped one side of a magazine they were both reading. It was in Spanish so no else one could understand a word but by the looks of the cover it looked to be what would happen if a Tiger Beat and People magazine got together and reproduced. Angel had her head cocked to the side and was biting her lip. Mimi was hiding her fascination worse; her eyes were wide and her mouth open. As they watched, she mumbled, "Creo que es verdad?"
"No se," Angel replied, in the same tone. "Pero es muy caliente. Lástima tengo un novio."
"They're talking about us…" Collins mumbled to Roger.
"How do you figure?" the rocker asked over Maureen's continued moans.
"Novio means boyfriend…I think," Collins said, screwing his face up. "Or maybe that's amigo…I can't remember which."
"She said caliente," Joanne offered, "that means hot. And muy. Very hot."
"Boooord! Booored!" Maureen sang in an opera-worthy tone. Joanne screwed her eyes shut. She really didn't want to get in an argument with Maureen today. She'd been going through a monumental effort to not pick a fight with her girlfriend since they'd gotten back together in October after Angel had a battle with pneumonia and had almost died. She didn't want someone else's near-death to have to bring them back together again.
Instead she mumbled, "Honeybear…could we maybe tune it down a bit?"
"But Pookie!" Maureen sighed, her arms flailing out at her sides. "I'm going crazy over here! There is nothing to do."
"Maybe Benny'll show up and we can play Pin the Tail on the Asshole," chuckled Roger, "God knows that guy loves to bug us enough."
"Let's play truth or dare!" Maureen cried. Sudden inspiration seemed to have struck her. "I haven't played that game in forever!"
"That's probably because you haven't been thirteen in forever, Chica," giggled Mimi.
"That used to be my favorite party game!" cried Angel. "I dressed up in drag for the first time because of a game of truth or dare! Mimi made me!"
"And she's been grateful ever since," Mimi added.
"Ooh! We'll play, 'Truth, Dare, Double-Dare, Kiss, Promise to Repeat!'" Maureen decided, already running to get a bottle. She came back in with a half-empty bottle of Stoli and seven cups. The bottle was emptied once it had been divided and everyone had enough to get just a little tipsy. Or, depending upon your ability to handle liquor, a lot tipsy.
Most were able to handle their drink. The exception from that were the lightweights of the group; Angel and Mimi. Two beers was enough to have them giggling, swaying, and cursing at random intervals. Half a cup of vodka had about the same effect.
They all gathered onto the floor and Maureen placed the bottle in the center of their badly-formed circle.
"So how does this work, Mo?" Mimi inquired. This was one of the last intelligent things she would say for the next two and a half hours.
"Okay, so," Maureen started, already having chugged her cup, "you all know what truth and dare mean. Double-Dare means you have to do the dare, and the person doing the dare has to do it, too. So say I dared Joanne to go yell, 'I love puppies' from the fire escape. I'd have to yell it, too. Kiss means you just have to kiss whoever the person who's doing the daring says. Promise to repeat means you have to promise to repeat whatever the person tells you to. Everyone got it?"
"Yup," sighed Collins, upending his glass and gulping the last of it. "Let's do this thing before I sober up…"
"Spin," giggled Mimi, sending the glass into a twirl with a flick of her wrist. They watched as it spun and came to a stop on Mark, whom sighed and spun, landing on Joanne.
"Truth, Dare, Double-Dare, Kiss, or Promise to Repeat, Joanne?" asked Mark.
"Uh…truth, I guess," Joanne sighed, folding her legs and leaning her head against her hand.
"Have you ever been arrested?" Mark asked after thinking for a minute. It was the least revealing thing he could think of to ask his ex-girlfriend's girlfriend. He really did not want to know anything about their sex life.
"Yes, actually," chuckled Joanne.
"For what?" asked Mimi, interested now. She was wearing her cup as a hat and as she hadn't made to remove it, neither did anyone else. For all anyone knew, there was logic to her madness.
"That wasn't part of the question," Joanne insisted, grabbing the bottle and spinning. It landed on Angel and she squeaked, clapping her hands together happily. Joanne sighed; she'd been prepared for anyone but Angel. The standard, "have you ever worn a (insert article of clothing characterizing the opposite sex of choice here)' just didn't work with her. "Okay, Angel. Truth, Dare, Dou-"
"DARE!" Angel immediately bellowed, and broke out in hysterical giggles.
That wouldn't be so hard. And when playing this game, Joanne was relentless. She could remember when this was the only variety in the stuffy, girls-only boarding schools she'd gone to. All her fellow students had milked the game for its worth and she hadn't gotten out of the habit. Joanne smirked and commanded, "Trade pants with Collins for your next turn."
Angel's eyes bugged and she spluttered, "But…but…this skirt is too small for him! And his jeans would fall off of me!" while Collins just made loud sounds of protest.
"You chose dare," Joanne chuckled. "You have to do it."
Angel sighed and stared apprehensively at her lover, before standing up and shimmying out of her skirt right in the middle of the living room. Mimi burst out laughing and Maureen jokingly held out a dollar. Angel, of course, robbed Maureen of said dollar before the drama queen could pull it back and stuck it in her underwear. Mark and Roger looked away, really not wanting to watch the drag queen strip. Collins stared up at the ceiling and chanted under his breath, counting from one to ten in Pig Latin. You couldn't really blame him; Angel had done this before…just not with an audience…that included their friends
Once Angel had rid herself of her skirt, she held it out to Collins, whom in turn took off his jeans and held them out to his boyfriend. Angel had to bunch the waistband at her chest to get them to stay up and Collins practically couldn't breathe in Angel's tiny pink skirt. Angel groaned at the thought that her stretch waistband would be stretched all to hell when she got it back. She sat down and the jeans she was currently wearing pillowed around her like a blanket. Collins sat down incredibly slowly for fear that the skirt would rip.
Maureen told them to sit like that for a second and ran to get one of Mark's picture cameras. She came back and took a picture of them, before handing the camera to Mark, too lazy to run all the way back and put it away. Mark rolled his eyes and hung the camera from his neck, gesturing for Mimi, the unofficially dubbed 'spinner', to go ahead and spin the bottle for Angel.
"Spin…" Mimi sang again, and spun for her best friend. Said best friend grinned evilly when the bottle landed on her boyfriend.
"Okay Lover," simpered Angel. "Truth, Dare, Double-Dare, Kiss, or Promise to Repeat?"
Collins, being the smart man he was, knew that Angel had about fifty options for dares and questions for truth in her head, and even perhaps the idea of who she wanted him to kiss. So, being a man with above-average intelligence, he chose the least risky option. "Promise to Repeat."
Pouting almightily, Angel crossed her arms and stared down at her lap, deep in thought. Collins almost gave in at the look on her face, but then Angel grinned maliciously again and fixed her eyes on him. "Okay. Repeat after me."
He nodded and gestured for her to begin speaking.
She crawled across the circle and plopped down in front of him, the jeans sliding down to again reveal the rainbow underwear she was wearing. Collins subtly reached around his boyfriend and pulled them up for him. "Okay; I, Thomas B. Collins."
"I, Thomas B. Collins."
"Promise, no matter how tired or drunk I am after we leave the loft."
"Promise, no matter how tired or drunk I am after we leave the loft," Collins recited, looking apprehensive of where this was going. You never knew with Angel.
"To make slow, sweet, beautiful love to Angel Dumott Schunard tonight," she continued, and Collins got the impression she wasn't done. Roger and Mark both hid their faces behind their hands, embarrassed to just be hearing this, and the girls sniggered.
"To make slow, sweet, beautiful love to Angel Dumott Schunard tonight," he repeated it, not having a problem so far and he could tell what came next would be the evil part by the look on her face.
"Because I haven't been giving her what she needs because of my stupid job and I don't want a sexually frustrated drag queen under my roof!"
"Because I haven't realized it but I have accidentally not been putting out for the last few weeks because of midterms at NYU, which pays the bills after all. But she needs to know that I love her and I didn't do any of it on purpose."
"That's not what I said," Angel whined softly. She scooted closer to him and inclined her head until her lips were just a few inches from his. "But I like your version better."
"Aw! Kiss!" Maureen cooed. Roger and Mark rolled their eyes, not needing to see another Angel/Collins make-out session (it would be the third that week) and Mimi nodded along with Maureen. Even Joanne looked for the idea, and Angel laughed, never refusing a chance to display her love for her boyfriend. But the second Mark saw Angel's tongue slide into Collins' mouth, he cleared his throat loudly and gestured to Mimi, who spun the bottle while trilling her favorite verb of the night. "Ooh! Collins! You landed on Roger!"
"Hold on a sec," Collins sighed, getting up and finally taking off Angel's skirt. He'd looked ridicules in it; it was incredibly short so his boxers actually were a lot longer than it. Angel simply stood up, let go of the waistband, and watched the pants fall around her knees with minimal wiggling of her hips.
Once both were back in their own clothing, Collins grinned at Roger and inquired, "Okay, Rog. Truth, Dare, Double-Dare, Kiss, Promise to Repeat?"
Roger looked towards the ceiling. "Uh…Kiss, I guess." To him, this was the least risky; there wasn't anyone in this room who he'd been incredibly uncomfortable kissing…
Angel clapped her hands and giggled at Collins. She knew his logic; she and Roger were good enough friends but the guy had never really learned how to behave around her. He was conflicted between treating her as one of the guys and behaving around her as he would, perhaps a sister. She clambered over to Roger and plopped in his lap, then winked at Mimi. Her fellow Latina simply giggled and stole Mark's camera. Mimi crawled around until she was filming them from the left, with Maureen on the other side of them, grinning from ear-to-ear and holding off giggles.
"Kiss!" she commanded, and flashed just as their lips touched. The end product was a candid of Angel melodramatically kissing Roger; Roger looking awkward; Maureen laughing hysterically in the background.
"Done!" Angel proclaimed, striking a grand pose before rolling off Roger's lap and crawling (With a little more rolling of the hips than was strictly necessary in Collins' opinion) back over to sit beside Collins. She flirtatiously winked at Roger and told him, "It was good for me. Was it good for you?"
"Okay, that's enough," Collins laughed, patting Angel's head. "You're drunk, Ang."
Angel stuck her tongue out but didn't deny it.
"Spin!" Mimi giggled, spinning for Roger. It landed on Joanne, whom rolled her eyes and said, "Truth" without being prompted.
"Uh…what's your favorite Disney movie?" Roger said, shrugging. It was lame and everyone groaned but Joanne smiled at not being asked something embarrassing.
"Pocahontas," Joanne replied. "I thought it was really cute. I especially like when she sings 'Colors of the Wind'. I can still sing that whole song to this date."
"She sings it good, too," Maureen added. Joanne raised her brows and Maureen prostested, "What? The best part of living with someone is getting to eavesdrop on them while they're in the shower!"
"What?" Joanne asked, squinting in confusion at Maureen. Maureen simply stared back and sighed, "Just never mind. Mimi, spin."
"Spin," Mimi said, apparently not getting tired of the repetitiveness of it. It was a bad spin; it did a complete three-sixty back at her and she giggled, looking at Joanne and telling her, "Truth."
"DO YOU SWALLOW?!" Maureen bellowed before Joanne could open her mouth, leaning across her girlfriend's lap and pointing an accusing finger at Mimi. Why Maureen would want to know this, no one would ever figure out but the answer sent most of them into tangents of laugher, but one of them into a flaming blush.
"Yes," Mimi replied, before spinning again. It spun to land on Mark and she chirped, "Marky! Truth, Dare, Double Dare, Kiss, or Promise to Repeat?"
"Uh…Double Dare, I guess," Mark sighed, knowing he wouldn't have to do something completely embarrassing if Mimi had to do it too. Since it was Mimi, he was of course wrong. The girl had no problem with degrading herself if it was for the fun of the sport.
Five minutes later, Mark and Mimi reentered the apartment after having stood on the fire escape singing a rousing chorus of, "I'm a Little Tea Pot" at the top of their lungs three times over. One of the bums on the street below had joined in, but apparently didn't know it was over, as they could still hear strains of song from the street.
Both sat down and Mimi spun for Mark. It pointed to Maureen, whom told Mark, "Dare."
Mark thought for a second before grinning and simply told her, "Cow."
Maureen looked outraged and cried, "Markus Elijah Cohen, you horny bastard!"
Mark shrugged, not denying it, and Angel piped up, "Did Mark just call Maureen a cow?"
"No," sighed Collins, rubbing the small of her back. She purred and leaned into him. "Cow; it means moon someone."
"Ohh," Angel giggled, "fitting."
Seeing no one was going to defend her honor, Maureen simply stood up, stomped her foot petulantly, and growled, "Fine; where?"
"Uh…The balcony," chuckled Mark, and Maureen rolled her eyes again before flouncing onto the fire escape and turning back towards them. As they watched, she bent at the waist, pulled down the back of her pants, and bellowed, "MOOO!" over her shoulder.
What they weren't expecting was someone to yell back, "SHUT UP!" and they all laughed hysterically. Maureen replied with, "SHOVE IT UP YOUR ASS!" and there was silence from the other party in the argument.
"You know, the girl will pull down her pants for a whole restaurant full of people," Roger remarked. "But when it comes to standing on the fire escape, three stories up, in the middle of the night and probably mooning nothing, she gets her panties all in a bunch. What's up with that?"
"I think it's more being forced to do it that gets to her," Mark informed, pulling the strap of the picture camera over his head. He smirked and met everyone's eyes. "Think I have time to get a picture of this?"
"She has to stay out there for ten minutes," Roger remarked. "And she loses if she chases you. Go for it."
"You know, I can still hear and see everything you do," Maureen informed from the fire escape. "The window's still open. And you know, my ass is turning into an icicle out here."
Joanne had the sense to go grab an egg timer and, figuring her girlfriend had already been out there for a good two minutes, set it for eight and climbed through the window, out onto the fire escape. She set down the timer in front of her and pecked her forehead, telling her, "You can come in when that goes off, Honeybear. Then we're leaving; it's late and I think the game is over."
Maureen smiled and grabbed Joanne's hand, kissing it. "Thanks, Pookie."
Joanne nodded and made her way back into the living room. Mark was gone and as they watched, a few vague flashes came from the street. Mark appeared a few minutes later with a few Polaroid photographs and handed one to Joanne, one to Mimi, and one to Collins while keeping one for himself. "There; just something to add to everyone's photo albums."
"My ass is famous!" Maureen cried, warming up to the idea.
Angel giggled and called over her shoulder, "You know, Maureen. I actually have a star-shaped birthmark on my ass."
"Huh," Maureen remarked. "People spend hundreds of dollars getting what you have naturally, huh?"
"Yup," Angel replied. "And Collins, when we're fuc –"
"Too much info!" Mimi cried, slamming her hands together in the universal signal for 'stop'. "Get outta here, ya horny tranny! And take your anarchistic boyfriend with you!"
"You know what? I will," sniffed Angel, turning her nose into the air and getting up. She pulled Collins up to her height and climbed onto the fire escape to bid Maureen goodbye, before coming back in and ruining the effect of her previous proclamation by hugging Mimi as she told her, "Hasta la vista, Chica."
Mimi returned the sentiment, Collins gave Mark and Roger manly-hugs (basically a glorified back-pat in which there also commenced some partial body-slamming) and Joanne received a kiss to her cheek before the transvestite and professor were gone.
As they were walking by on the street, the egg timer went off and they glanced up to see Maureen pull up her pants and hold up the double-barreled sign for love. "THANK YOU NEW YORK!" she then glanced down and, noticing the couple, blew a kiss, waving before walking back inside. Angel did a pinky-wave before continuing on down the street, pulling Collins along behind her.
"C'mon, Lover," giggled Angel. "It's getting chilly! Brr. And you owe me some lovin', remember?"
"Yeah," Collins replied, wrapping an arm tightly around her. "Let's take our time. Don't worry 'bout the chill. I'll be your coat, remember?"
Angel giggled and nodded. "Yeah. But I still can't believe you made me kiss Roger. Roger of all people!"
"Yeah…neither can I, baby," sighed Collins. "Neither can I."
And they would always have the Polaroid to remind them of that incident.
A/N: Hope you liked that! Once again, this was for Evita the Akita's RENT Photo Challenge. I know it took me hellsa long to get around to it, and it kind of sucked, but it was the best I could do! It took me a month to come up with the plot; gimme some credit!
Hope you guys loved it! Reviewers get either a copy of the Collins-in-drag pic, or Maureen-Mooing pic. I guess I'll throw in the Angel and Roger pic if you want it. But you're a disgrace to Cangel shippers everywhere if you do. :P kidding, guys…kidding.
Love you guys lots!