There was light in the room when I opened my eyes and I was in the same position I was in last night. Edward was asleep next to me and had his arms around my waist. I looked over and noticed Edward was still asleep. I kissed his cheek and stared at him. He was gorgeous. I'll never understand why he picked me. Why he would want to be with me instead of all the other girls that throw themselves at him.
I moved to get up, but he held me closer. Normally I would have smiled at this showing of affection even if he was asleep but I was really hungry. I felt like my stomach was eating its self.
"Edward" I whispered while shaking him lightly
"Time to wake up"
"Uh-hmm" he mumbled
"Please…" I leaned in and gave him a kiss on the cheek.
"What time is it?" he asked as he held me tight in a hugging embrace. I loved how he didn't have his guard up yet and was freely hugging me with no fear of me breaking.
"About nine in the morning. You hungry?"
"Um, yeah a bit" he said still half asleep.
"I'll go make us something to eat" I attempted to get up but then I had a whoosh of disorientation. Edward was quick to grab me, to stabilize me.
"Whoa whoa, you need to be careful there. You drank a lot last night. So take it easy…wait just a minute and I will go get you some water. You need to lay back down…ok" Edward said now fully awake and alert. He was now in Bella is breakable mode so don't let her move or do anything.
"Okay Dr. Cullen" I teased as I walked out the room completely ignoring him and headed for the kitchen.
I went to the fridge to look and see what we had. But I really couldn't find much. We had some eggs and half a loaf of bread, so French toast it was!
I heard a loud knock on the door and dropped my spatula. Panicked I dropped to the floor hiding behind the counter. Edward soon walked into the room and looked at me. "You okay?" he asked. Crap why did I always have to scare so easily.
I heard the knock again and internally cringed at the loud noise.
"Yea…I am fine…you know me just a little clumsy sometimes. Will you get the door while I make breakfast?"
"Yo Bella!!!!! You get your first hang over yet sister!!!!" yelled Emmett
I blew out a sigh of relief, it's just him. All my anxiety was gone as soon as I heard his voice. Emmett. Even though he can be a jerk sometimes, he's still my brother and treated me better than any man has ever had from the moment he picked me up at the airport a year ago. I looked up as he quickly turned the corner and looked at me, grinning. He had just come back from the gym with Rose, Alice and Jasper. They were all covered in sweat well not Alice or Rose they don't sweat. Its weird I know but they are just so perfect they don't sweat. Emmett gave me a mischievous smile and I took a step back afraid he would try and hug me as he always does whenever he is all nasty and sweaty.
"No Em, I'm not hung over….guess I'm not a light weight like you…and don't take a step closer you are all nasty and sweaty and if you do there will be no breakfast for you! " I said trying to sound all tough.
"Ouch Bella, you really know how to hit that sore spot dontcha?" He held his hand to his heart in mock horror. I laughed him off
"Now don't let me stop you from breakfast, my dearest little sister. Rose, Alice, Jasper and I are extremely hungry."
Gee thanks. I thought. I went from a breakfast of two to five in a heartbeat…moochers.
"Hello-hello my lovies" yelled Alice. She bounced her chipper self into our kitchen and hugged me. She leaned into my ear and whispered, "You had some awesome moves their hottie, and we have to get Rose to let us do that again soon huh? Next time, no boys though"
I smiled and nodded my head. That sounds like fun. Edward looked at me and I just shrugged my shoulders. There's nothing wrong in wanting some girl time
"You all want some breakfast then?" I questioned
Everyone nodded their head and went into the living room. I laughed. All wanted to eat and none wanted to help. I turned around and put the pan to the stove. Turning the burner to medium heat.
"Need some help Bella?" I turned around to see Jasper standing in the doorway .
"Sure. Would you mind cracking the eggs?"
I went to the fridge and brought out all the eggs we had left and handed them to Jasper. "We might as well use it all, feeding Emmett is like feeding a growing bear."
"So, how did you like the club last night?" he asked
"It was a lot of fun. I haven't felt that happy in a while" I smiled
"Yeah, it was nice seeing you girls like that. A lot of things have been tense around here for a while and I'm really happy to see you all look so care free." Jasper paused for a second and looked like he was debating something and then started again, "Want to know a secret?"
"What?" I asked
He pointed his index finger at me and motioned for me to get closer to him. When I was in earshot of him he whispered, "Don't tell anyone I told you this…but think even Edward had a good time" he laughed. I joined him
"About time I was begging to wonder if he forgot how. What did you guys talk about while we were on the dance floor?"
"Nothing much. Em and I at first had to convince Edward to lay back and let you have a good time. He didn't like the idea of you drinking but we told him two shots wouldn't kill you. Eventually when he noticed you were having fun, he laid off. He's a good guy, but he's a bit of a prude."
"I know, but he wouldn't be that way if I didn't have so much baggage….feel bad that he feels he always has to take care of me" I sighed, looking down at the roasting pan.
Jasper put the bowl of eggs on the counter and walked up to me. "Hey, we all have a past Bella, that doesn't define us in any way. Look, I don't like being treated like a victim so I won't treat you like one too, but know that I do care a lot about you like you were my own little sister. If you need anything, anything at all, including if Edward is driving you crazy…just ask. Okay?"
"Okay" I looked up at him and gave him a shy smile
He smiled back and hugged me. "Now, let's get these French bread a toastin'" he smiled
I smiled back at him and we worked together getting breakfast ready. We had a lot of egg left, so I threw it in the pan and made some scrambled eggs too.
"Is it ready yet?" yelled Emmett from the living room.
"Yep, come and get it!" I yelled. It didn't take long before Emmett, Alice, and Edward came into the kitchen. Edward pulled my chair out for me and kissed me on the cheek before he sat down himself. We all didn't say anything to each other, just devoured our food. When we all finished I looked up at Emmett and told him, "We cooked, you wash"
"Ah man, come on Bella" he gave me sad puppy dog eyes. I laughed, feeling my resolve leaving
"No way man, Bella and I worked hard on your food. Now you, Alice, Rose and Edward can clean it up while Bella and I go watch some TV" Jasper told Emmett. By the looks of Jasper's face, there was no room for arguing.
With a hump, the crew started cleaning up the mess. Edward grabbed my waist and whispered, "Thanks for breakfast Love. Do you want to come with me grocery shopping?"
I nodded my head and he kissed my shoulder. I shivered and walked into the living room with Jasper. With a smile on my face because Edward was finally starting to be somewhat normal with me again.
"Sure looks like you two are getting closer again" he laughed
"Yeah, but we have a session on Monday after school, so that might change once we see Dr. Fetto" I sighed.
"Why do you say that?"
"Because even though she has the best intentions, she thinks it's not a good idea for me and Edward to progress our…affectionate aspect to our relationship. I hate it that she does that"
"I could see that. You two seem happier when you're a little more lovey dovey. You should bring that up you know?"
"I know, but we still have two days until that so I better not harp on it now. I just want to enjoy what I have right now."
Jasper and I didn't really talk that much while the others were cleaning. Funny thing is, I never felt weird or forced to say anything. I was just comfortable with him. It was a nice feeling and I enjoyed just hanging with Jasper something the two of us never really did. Jasper pulled me from my thoughts when he started to speak.
"As much as I would like to stay, I have to drop Alice off at work and I have to meet some investors" he leaned in and kissed the top of my forehead "See you later"
"See ya" I yelled back as he got Alice. She looked back at me and blew me a kiss as she left the apartment
I turned and looked at Edward. He sat next to me, "What do you say we leave in half an hour?"
"Sounds good to me" I kissed his cheek and walked to my room
I got ready happily. Feeling really good. Things were really looking up for me. I think the club was a big step for me. I only had one minor freak out this morning and I spent a night around people drinking and had fun. I even drank myself. I was making progress!
Edward and I went grocery shopping and it felt so good. I know that is a weird thing to say that grocery shopping felt good but it. It was just turning out to be an awesome day. Edward was playfully flirting with me as we shopped asking me things like
"Honey, what is Jonny's favorite cereal again?" and saying things like "Sally really needs to stop eating so much junk food…no more zebra cakes for her!" and I couldn't help but laugh at our made up kids. I loved this side of Edward and never wanted to lose this carefree Edward again.
While at the Grocery store I also got the ingredients I needed to make Emmett some chocolate chip pancakes, so that he would stop bothering me to make them.
By 7 I was exhausted and told Edward I was just going to take a short nap and then I was going to make some homemade pasta for everyone. Edward decided to join me in my nap and so we both headed to my room and curled into bed. I quickly feel asleep as my heavy eyelids snapped my eye shut.
"NO!!! Please…" I yelled, jerking my whole body up. I looked down and saw that my whole body covered in shattered glass. I tried not to move because more movement would lodge another piece of glass into my already tender skin. I could feel the warm liquid ooze out of me as I looked straight at my demon. Right here, standing there naked and staring at me with lust filled eyes.
"Please don't do this again. I promise I'll have dinner ready in ten minutes" I begged as I saw him reach for a scarf on the dresser.
"Enough ISABELL!" he forcibly grabbed the back of my head, pulling my hair so hard that I could feel them slowly being pulled from my scalp. "I don't want to hear any more excuses. Look what you already made me do" he's eye's looked at the broken glass table he had pushed me through, "We don't want any more accidents, now do we you little slut"
I didn't have time to say anything. He forced the scarf over my lips and pushed me back into the glassy floor. He spread my legs wide apart and laid in between them.
"That's it Isabella, be a good little girl and let…"
My eyes flickered wide open as I shot up in bed feeling disoriented. The nightmare was still fresh in my mind; I looked around and noticed it's was really dark outside. My whole body actually physically ached and I could still feel the glass shards that covered my body. I shivered and reached for Edward. I didn't feel anything. I turned over and saw that he was not in bed with me.
No….he got Edward….no not Edward!
"Edward!" I yelled
I listened for any sound but I heard nothing.
"Edward! No! I need you…you can't leave me I need you…EDWARD" I cried. I felt like I could still feel his body on mine. It made me feel so dirty and disgusting. This nightmare brought back all the memories of the horrible nights I use to have when he was still here. Tears started pooling in my eyes
"Edward" I whispered hopelessly. I need him. I need him more than anything and he wasn't here.
"That's because you're a worthless slut and he got tired of your neediness and finally moved on from his charity case." A haunting voice said in my head
I sat up and look around the dark room searching for Edward, but I can't see anything. I started to shake uncontrollably. I put my hand to my forehead and felt that beads of sweat now covered it. My stomached turned and I felt my heart beating faster and faster. Then-
BANG BANG BANGBANG BANG BANG BANGBANGBANG!!!!!
I quickly looked towards the door. Someone was knocking on the door violently. Without even thinking, I ran to my closet and threw all of my cloths over me, to hide me.
I heard the door open, but no one made a sound. The intruder didn't announce their entrance.
I curled into a ball and held my knees to chest so tight my knuckles where turning white and it was getting hard to breath.
Not again, please not again, I'd rather die than go through that again…
"It's what you deserve you worthless slut!" The hunting voice once again echoed in my head.
The closet door swung open and I looked at the silhouette of a man and could barely make out the outline of his blonde hair and then his face flashed in front of me…a face that still haunts me …
I screamed louder than I ever had, NO STOP PLEASE!
"BELLA ? BELLA, wake up! I" yelled a familiar voice… but it wasn't Edward!
My body jerked again and I looked around to see Jasper right above me, staring at me with scared wide eyes.
"Bella what happened?" he asked staring intently at me.
I began to sob again as I remembered the dream, all the things he had done to me in the past and I cried even harder, unable to contain myself anymore.
Jasper pulled me into him and wrapped his arms around me and I pulled him closer. Holding onto him to make sure I wasn't still dreaming and that I really was safe. I held onto him with everything I had. After a moment, I pulled away from Jasper buried my face into his chest. Tears streaming down my face
"Shh, its okay Bella….I'm here. I'm right here." Jasper said in just the right comforting tone that I instantly felt better.
I suddenly realized where I was. I was in my closest and Jasper was holding me. Crap this was a million and 10 steps backwards. Edward would freak if he knew. Speak of which where was Edward and why was Jasper here and not Edward? And where was Alice? My head started to spin….oh no he must have found me and gotten Edward and Alice and Emmett and Rose and all that is left is me and Jasper….I killed all of my friends….the only family I had left in the world I had killed!
"Where's Edward?" I asked in a shaking voice scared of what the answer would be.
"Edward, Alice, Emmett and Rose all went out to Mc Donald's….We didn't want to wake you up to make dinner …and we all were really hungry and Edward wasn't going to go but Alice dragged him to the car and I volunteered to stay….they could be back any minute now. They should be bringing you a big n tasty with a large fry and a coke… I could call them now and tell them to hurry home" Jasper finished
"No…no" I said finally able to breathe knowing that I hadn't killed everyone I ever cared about.
"Do you want to talk about it?" Jasper said breaking my inner battle to keep calm and stop thinking about my dream.
"No I'm fine…but thanks."
"It's was about him wasn't it?" Jasper sneered a bit.
I looked right at him, shocked. I have never told Jasper anything about-
"Phil, it was about Phil wasn't it?" Jasper asked again.
I sighed, in relief when I realized he thought I was talking about Phil.
"Yea, it was him….just can't seem to shake him." Then there was a long pause as if Jasper was waiting for me to say more. But there was no way I was going to say anything more because he would tell Edward and I didn't need him treating me even more like I was a piece of glass. "Well, sorry for waking you up…I am just going to go back to bed" I said while rising to my feet and heading towards my bed.
"I understand" Jasper said slowly from behind me, "But Bella; he's dead…he will never come back."
"I know" I whispered. "Well goodnight." I said as I laid down in bed and pulled the covers over my head waiting for Jasper to leave the room.
"Hey Bella one last thing…" Jasper said but I didn't respond, "If you ever need to talk about anything I meant it that I am always here. I won't tell anyone what you tell me unless you want me too. I promise" He said his words so strongly and with feeling that I honestly believed he wouldn't.
"Thanks Jasper" And then I sat up in bed and look at Jasper as he stood in my doorway about to walk out, "Can you please not tell Edward about this little freak out… I'm fine, I swear but you know how Edward is, he'll freak out…you know."
"One on condition."
"You have to tell me if anything else ever happens."
"Deal" I said having no intention of keeping that promise.
Roxymar- sorry it took so long folks but I hope you liked it. Alisa and I here are busy little bees but we're working hard on getting you updates…hopefully at least once a week now.
Alisa- Yep the last month or so has been crazy for me…I went to 2 week long sleep away camps, one 9 day trip with my youth group to Tennessee and just got back from a week and half in a California. I move into my dorm on the 27th so I am also a little busy getting stuff ready for college! YEA!!!! Anyway though we promise to try and be a lot better about updates. Thanks for sticking with us.
Roxymar- Yep we sure do. Anyway I hope you guys liked this chapter cause it was freaking long it was 7 pages!! Alisa almost cut it and made it into 2 different chapters but I stopped her….you're welcome…lol anyway read and review it makes us happy!
Alisa- And as always flames are accepted….thanks so much for being patient with us. Cause I know we suck for taking so long…oh and for anyone who reads shut up and play I have the next chapter written out on paper and now just have to type it up. It should be up in the next day or so.