Man... Chapter 28... when I started this I never thought that I would get past chapter 1.
Who likes the music from Touhou? I do. I especially recommend 'No Life Queen'. Lunardragon2607 on youtube made an excellent extended version that would be especially nice to listen to while reading this chapter.
The One Eye of the Demon
The Imaginary King
The blue haired youth watched as the blond haired silver eyed woman stepped from the tree line. The silver outfit she wore was almost like a second skin and the claymore strapped to her back was a silent statement to her strength.
The blue haired youth smiled, "Did everything go to plan, Clare?" he asked.
The woman nodded, "Exactly to plan." She confirmed. "All the ROOT agents have been eliminated."
The youth nodded, "Should buy us a few years while Danzo recovers." He said. "Hopefully Naruto can do his job right."
Naruto stared at the figures on the road ahead.
"Sasuke?" Naruto asked, raising a hand to stop the travelling party. "I think we found your brother."
Sasuke head snapped round so fast it became a blur.
'Well that had to hurt.'
Sasuke leapt from the treeline and stood in the middle of the road, then began to walk towards his brother.
"Itachi." Sasuke announced as he walked slowly.
The elder Uchiha glanced at his younger brother, then returned his gaze to the road. "You are weak." Itachi said. "Why? Because you lack hatred."
"I know about the coup Itachi." Sasuke announced, stopping Itachi in his tracks. "I know why you had to do it."
The normally stoic Akatsuki slowly turned to his brother, hope and horror betraying the mask.
Sasuke raised his head, showing two blue Sharingan.
"I forgive you."
"Didn't see that coming." Haku announced as Sasuke flashstepped to embrace his older brother.
"I was honestly expecting there to be an expositional battle while they discussed their feelings." Temari agreed.
"Why can't I know normal people like everyone else?" Sakura asked as Itachi slumped to his knees, sobbing on his younger brother's shoulder.
"We've got a problem." Naruto said, drawing the Kitsune. "Fish-boy looks pissed."
'Which reminds me kit.' Kyube said. 'I'm hungry.'
"How touching." Kisame smirked, his bandaged blade resting against Sasuke's and Itachi's necks. "I suppose now you intend to abandon our mission and care for your brother again, you double agent."
Sasuke's eyes widened. "What?"
Kisame laughed. "You think we didn't know?" he asked. "We all knew you were sending information out to Konoha. Why do you think we never sent you after the Jinchurriki? Why do you think they sent the guy who absorbs chakra, is immune to your Sharingan and your Amaterasu, AND can send information faster than Zetsu as your partner?"
Sasuke blinked, "He's immune to the Sharingan and Amaterasu?"
"He is mentally strong beyond my ability to break and... have you ever tried to set a fish on fire?"
Itachi pushed his brother away. "Go back to your friends." Itachi said, rising and turning around. "We will discuss this later."
Kisame laughed as the bandages covering his blade withered away, the sword's mouth opening wide to show its teeth.
"I'm not presumptuous enough to think that this will be an easy fight." Kisame said as Sasuke backed off. "But you're a fool to think you can best me without your Sharingan."
Itachi glanced into the trees where Naruto's team was, then returned his focus to Kisame and made a cross-fingered seal.
The air exploded as twenty Shadow Clones appeared.
"You seem to have mistaken me for a one-trick pony." Itachi's clones said. "Allow me to correct this misconception."
Kisame laughed, swinging his blade around and flooding the plains. Clone after Clone was consumed by the water-based sharks summoned, but Itachi burst from the water, making seal after seal as Kisame rose from the water with his blade, like Poseidon rising from the depths with his trident.
The water was thrown into the air as the drowned clones exploded underneath it. Itachi charged at the off-balance Kisame with his sword, but Kisame blocked it with the Samehada, grinning as he summoned a shark from his mouth.
Itachi's body burst into crows as the shark tore his head off, and a giant of flames rose behind Kisame and launched a flaming bolt at the swordsman. Kisame laughed, blocking the attack with a wall of water as he dodged. "Using Susano-o so early?" he shouted. "Come on, you're better than that!"
"I know I am." Itachi whispered as Kisame coughed up blood. The genjutsu of the flaming giant faded as Kisame felt the blade in his ribcage, and he smiled despite the pain as he gripped the sword's edge, holding it tight as he span around and swung for his former partner with his weapon.
Itachi left his sword in Kisame's chest as he ducked, only to be knocked back by a knee to his chest. He rolled in the air and landed gracefully, grabbing a kunai and rising up to catch Kisame's sword blow.
Kisame laughed in the sheer ecstasy of the battle before a hand gripped his ankle and dragged him into the earth. "WHAT?"
"I told you to get back." Itachi told his brother. "I've got this."
"I don't care." Sasuke told Itachi as Kisame struggled against the Decapitation Technique. "We're on the run from Konoha, and we'd like to return to doing that as soon as we can."
Kisame roared, bursting from the ground in a jet of water. He leered at those below him as the ice began to rise up from the ground.
"Oh?" He asked as the ice approached him. "Is that Zabuza's brat?" he hopped above the geyser as water consumed it then stamped into it. "NOT ENOUGH!" he roared as the ice shattered.
A flaming tornado rose from the ground, consuming the ice and the water around Kisame as he descended. He looked down to see one Jinchurriki's sister and the current Junchurriki combining chakra to create the twisting inferno.
The shark-man laughed, hurling Samehada down at Naruto. The blade struck Naruto in the chest, throwing him out of the furnace as it began to consume his chakra.
Kisame landed, cricking his neck. He pulled Itachi's sword from his own chest and looked at his four opponents. Itachi and three brats.
'Without Samehada eating my chakra,' he thought as the blazing twister died down, 'this should be easy.'
He made a seal, once more flooding the plains and summoning a dozen sharks to take care of the small fry. Haku and Temari rushed to rescue Naruto from the bubble of water as the two Uchiha readied themselves in the water.
Itachi readied his kunai as Sasuke activated the Chidori. He stabbed through shark after shark as the older brother rushed forward in the water to attack.
'Fool.' Kisame laughed. 'He'll never get enough force in the water to hurt me.'
This was when a blast of chakra tore the water bubble apart.
"WHAT?" Kisame roared, ducking under Itachi's swing and blocking his attack.
"Looks like your baby can't handle the concentrated chakra of a thousand jinchurriki." Naruto smirked, holding the withered husk of Samehada in his hand before burning it with his demonic eye.
Kisame roared, charging for the boy as Itachi blocked.
"This is our battle." Itachi snarled. "No one is to interfere."
"You'd be dead without your little brother wiping your ass." Kisame sneered.
Itachi smiled pleasantly.
Then he exploded.
Anko raised her head.
"What is it?" Kakashi asked her.
"I just got the strangest feeling." She whispered. "Like… the strangest urge to shout Bitched at the top of my voice…"
Kisame struggled to his feet, wincing at the burns as the children around him released the transformation jutsu's and returned to their true forms.
"We were right here the whole time." Naruto laughed behind him. "Itachi's kicking your ass all on his own."
Kisame snarled, summoning a shark in his hand and driving it into Naruto's chest.
Naruto threw up blood, but melted into his true form.
Kisame paled as his victim's hand grabbed his wrist.
"Boom." The Itachi clone whispered.
"There it is again…" Anko grunted. "Gimme another drink."
"Clone Great Explosion technique." Itachi announced. "You've seen me use it so many times. A Shadow clone explodes like a bomb. Most ninja would see right through it, but if used in a combo, they never see it coming."
Kisame snarled as he struggled to his feet. "You've seen me use this technique many times, and yet it still works." Itachi explained, holding a kunai to Kisame's throat. "And that's why you'll always be second rate."
The swordsman snarled, letting rage overcome him as he tore past Itachi's arm and lunged for his throat before realising his mistake.
"FUCK!" Anko shouted. "WHERE'S MY DRINK?"
Kisame stood around the twelve remaining clones.
One of them was real.
One of them wouldn't explode when he touched them.
"You are weak." Itachi told Kisame as his head flew through the air. "Why? Because you lack fear."
"FUCK IT!" Anko shouted, standing on the bar. "BITCHED! There, HAPPY?"
"So, it's over." Sakura asked as Haku and Naruto worked on dismembering Kisame's corpse as a Hunter-nin would do.
"With him, at least." Itachi said, before turning to Sasuke. "Tell me everything. Starting with the colour of your Sharingan."
"The Sharingan is powered by your hate, especially after hurting someone you love." He reasoned. "So I guess something different happens if you forgive someone who hurt you."
Itachi nodded. "I envy your strength." He told his brother. "Now, tell me the situation."
Pein scowled momentarily.
This was not to plan.
Jiraiya sighed. "Things are changing, Tsunade."
The blonde looked over the table at her old teammate. "Now what would make an old pervert like you say that?"
"Naruto knows his father's old ambition." Jiraiya explained with a smirk, swirling the sake in his dish. "He has more will than any ninja I've ever seen and more importantly, a loyal group of friends following him." he sipped the alcohol. "If anyone can do this, Naruto can."
Tsunade sighed, shaking her head. "Damn kid…" she groaned. "I don't care who's kid he is or what he has inside him. I'm a pathetic mess if a child can destroy me without raising a finger." She chugged her bottle of sake. "I'm gonna kick his ass next time I see him."
Jiraiya laughed as a man in a red cloak approached the table. "Jiraiya and Tsunade of the Sannin?" he asked.
"Let me guess." Jiraiya said, placing his dish onto the table. "You're a messenger from Kami."
"My name is Auron." The man said. "And this is my associate, Jecht."
"Hey!" A bare-chested man with a beard waved.
"We'd like you to come with us." Auron continued.
Tsunade slammed her bottle against the table. "And if we refuse?" she asked, wiping her chin with her wrist.
The bare-chested man slammed a broadsword against the floor as Auron tightened his grip on the sword on his shoulder.
Tsunade threw the table up and slammed Auron to the ground. Jiraiya tackled Jecht into a wall while making several seals with one hand and slamming his fingers into the man's chest.
Jecht coughed up black gunk, then collapsed into rising blue glass that consumed his body and eventually itself.
Zack fell to one knee, clutching his chest as Master Chief also collapsed.
"Hey!" the Tsukichage shouted, rising to his feet. "GET SOME MEDICS IN HERE!"
"Don't bother…" Zack said, watching his hand dissolve into blue glass fragments which crumbled into dust in the wind. "We're goners…"
The bald man in the trenchcoat rested against an alleyway in the city of the rain, panting for breath as he collapsed from reality.
"So, this is how this dream ends…" he sighed, water bouncing of his black glasses. "Must be fate…"
"Hey!" Chuck Norris shouted. "SEPHIROTH!"
"That's right…" Sephiroth choked, remembering the sensation of despair as he was erased from existence. "I am… just… a puppet…"
The cowboy stood up, gripping the side of his hat. "Shit…"
Rock reached out to Revy, giving her a weak smile as he faded away.
Revy looked at him, then turned away. "Fuck…" she managed before vanishing.
"Well, this has been a load of fun mates." Jack Sparrow told his two companions with a raised bottle and a cheery smile. "Hopefully there'll be rum on the other side."
"True dat sucka." Mr. T nodded, downing his milk as his chest vanished.
"Farewell." Bruce Lee nodded as the two men were consumed by the real world.
"My friend, do you fly away now?" Genesis asked. "To a world that abhors you and I? All that awaits you is a sombre morrow, no matter where the winds may blow…"
"You're going as you lived." Angeal said as the blue light consumed his body. "Quoting that damned play."
Genesis laughed, the book slipping to the floor as his fingers vanished. "Infinite in mystery, is the gift of the goddess, we seek it thus, and take to the sky." He said, the light rising to his throat. "Ripples form on the water's surface, the wandering soul knows…"
"No rest..." Angeal finished for him with his final breath.
"Well now." Tsunade grinned as Auron vanished. "Looks like the imaginary king just lost his fictional army."
Minato Arisato's eyes widened as Clare the Claymore was erased before his very eyes.
It took him a while to comprehend what had just happened, but then he laughed.
He laughed hard, and he laughed at the sheer absurdity of it all.
"KAMIGAKURE!" he shouted to the world, arms spread wide. "POPULATION: THREE!"
So… who saw that coming?