Part Of The Bad Emmett Series

Emmett Is Bad

Carlisle was just about to leave for work when the mail arrived, there was only one letter and it was marked "URGENT." So, he set his briefcase down on the floor and opened it, inside the letter read...

Dear Mr Cullen,

While we thank you for your valued custom and use of the Walmart Loyalty Card, the Manager of our store in Forks is considering banning you and your family from shopping with us, unless your son stops his antics.

Below are a list of offences over the past few months, all verified by our surveillance cameras:

June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's trolleys when they weren't looking..

July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to feminine products aisle.

July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares..... and watched what happened.

August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

September 15: Set up a tent in the outdoor clothing department and told shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring sausages and a gas stove.

September 23: When the Deputy Manager asked if she could help him, he began to cry and asked, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'

October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, picked his nose, and ate it.

November 10: While appearing to be choosing kitchen knives in the Housewares aisle asked an assistant if he knew where the antidepressants were.

December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the Mission Impossible' theme.

December 6: In the kitchenware aisle, practised the 'Madonna look' using different size funnels.

12. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed, yelled 'PICK ME!' 'PICK ME!'

December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, assumed the fetal position and screamed 'NO! NO! It's those voices again.'And; last, but not least:

December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited a while; then yelled, very loudly, 'There is no toilet paper in here'

If you do not do something about your son's behaviour we will have to ban you and your family from shopping at any of our Walmart stores.

Your Sincerely,

Fred Jones

Walmart Complainants Advisor

Carlisle was shocked and bedazzled by his son's appalling behaviour.

"Emmett, get yourself down here now!! You have a lot of explaining to do"

Upstairs, Emmett turned to Alice and said, scowling at her, "You could have told me that was coming..."

(A/N: This was originally an email I recieved that I thought was so funny and something that Emmett would actually do I turned it into a fic! Enjoy!!! And if you like this one, you'll like Emmett's joke, another funny Emmett fanfic, just for you!!)