Title: The Way It Is

Summary: An attempt to explain to myself how I could get addicted to the Torchwood/ Dr. Who characters so much somewhat expanded when the idea of the heart-house metaphor was found. So, basically: alien invasion in a human heart.

Warnings: Umm. Crack? Utter crack? Overdose of fannishness? But then, that's the whole point of this fic.

Feedback: Yes, please?

1. Jack

CRASH and there he is. Before you can even take it all in – the beautifully fashioned body, the blue eyes, that stunning smile from the depth of his heart – he has smashed the front door already and stands in the hallway, looking around curiously.

How did you ever cope without me?

He grins. That very same question pops into your mind later.

I have no idea.

Now you don't generally like it when people just go about getting into people's hearts by smashing their front doors. But somehow, you don't mind with Jack. It's just the way he is.

I honestly don't know.

He flashes his teeth laughing and you're doomed. No one can escape him. He doesn't even have to try. All he needs to do is just be himself. All self-confident and joking – an overwhelming physical presence with his muscle-packed body, his height and perfectly fitted clothes.

How on earth did I cope?

Next thing, you're distracted when you look into his gorgeous blue eyes. You smile sheepishly and have no idea what you were about to say. But still the best thing is that sincere laughter that makes the sun rise no matter what time of the day. It's so contagious you want to join in even if you don't know what he is laughing about.

Then he tells one of his unbelievable stories about his bedtime adventures with aliens. You try to figure out if he is just boasting. Anything is possible with Jack.

In the meantime he has gotten all comfy in your living room, emptied all the biscuit tins in the kitchen (even the hidden ones) and is just about to make his way into the bedroom when you finally gather yourself up to say Stop! This is MY heart! You can't just go about as if you live here.

But I do. Live here, I mean. Don't I? You are too confused and maybe a bit embarrassed to answer. By the time you have finished your internal debate and decided to throw him out until he promises to behave himself, he is lying in your bed with just his shorts and a shirt on.

You make your big entrance into the room and take a big breath to start your tirade. Listen, you've got to ... your voice trails off. Suddenly your throat is all dry. He has this look in his eyes. Come here, it's time for bed. ... You can't move. He gets up, walks toward you and gently starts taking your clothes off. You shiver. He lifts you up and carries you into the bed. As you lie there and snuggle up to him, his arms around you, you let out a sigh of relief. Won't throw me out now, will you? He grins again and kisses you goodnight. Then he switches the lights off.

***

2. Ianto

You feel something gently nudging at the door to your heart. Knock knock. Only that's not the sound because it's not really a solid door.

"Who's there?"

"It's the new neighbour, Mr. Jones. I called, you remember?"

"Oh, yes, come on in."

You open the door and after he has wiped his feet, Ianto Jones steps in.

"I brought some fairy cakes."

"Oh, you shouldn't have. But thank you."

You smile at him and admire how fabulous he looks in that particular suit, then lead the way to the kitchen.

"Would you like a cup of tea?"

"Er, no thanks but I'll have coffee if it's not too much trouble."

You chat about the neighbourhood, where to get the best groceries and where never ever to buy meat.

"Nice talking to you, Mr. Jones. See you around!"

"You too. Certainly."

For the next two weeks Mr. Jones is surprisingly often to be found in your heart. You have tea (most often coffee for him) and chat the afternoons away. He always brings a little something with him. Soon he starts to help with the washing up as you progress to cooking dinner together. Still later you already leave your door open for him.

It's just so enjoyable to have him around. He has the best of manners, is always tremendously well dressed (even though he proceeded to more casual clothing after the first couple of "official" new-neighbour's visits) and a good sense of humour. You begin to love his smile and then try to make him smile as often you can. You do the most outrageous things just to see that smile (fancy dress being only one of the methods). For his birthday you get him some exotic varieties of coffee beans to experiment with although you don't drink coffee yourself.

Then one day, he doesn't turn up. You get worried. Calm yourself again. It's the first time but everyone will be late someday. It had been almost creepy that he kept arriving on time. Ten minutes later you come to your senses. That's just not Ianto. He is on time. That's just the way he is.

You get your keys and go looking outside. No one to be seen. You can't go to his place because you've never been there. Dammit! You go back in and miss him terribly. You worry until you have dwelled on every horror-scenario of what might have happened to him and you start to panic.

What if he never turns up again? No, don't think about that. Too dangerous. Suddenly you hear someone in the hall. You jump and shoot down the hallway ... "Sorry, I tried to call but ..." straight into Ianto's arms. God, that feels good. You draw him closer. And he smells divine. Never mind the excuse now, just hold on tight.

"Well, I take it you had an exciting afternoon then", he comments with an amused smile, wrapping his arms around you. "How about something to calm your nerves?" He kisses your forehead BLISS! and leads you into the lounge, then puts some music on. He pulls you close and starts to dance. "Where ..." – "I am sorry, it had to do with work." – "Hm." – "I tried to call." – "Never mind now." You close your eyes and feel yourself drift away. The intoxicating combination of the dance, his smell, the closeness and warmth makes you light-headed. And fearless. You heave a deep breath and start to whisper. "Ianto, ..." – he places a finger on your lips. "I know." And then you kiss.

***

3. The Doctor

You are in the kitchen preparing the lasagna when suddenly you hear a strange noise. It's hard to describe, it's a sort of humming at first. Then, out of nowhere, a wind starts to blow the daily papers from the kitchen table. The noise becomes a sort of metallic screeching. And before you know it, there is a big blue police box in your heart. Too astonished to be able to move, you watch as the door opens and a thin man in a brown pin stripe suit steps out, takes his glasses of, runs his fingers through his hair (nice brown hair, you notice), looking around with a frown on his face.

As he notices you, he turns around and addresses you:

Hate to admit this, but... where exactly am I?

You're in my heart.

Ah. He pauses. Human heart by the look of it, he comments looking up and down the walls. Never been in a human heart before, that is, not literally.

He runs his fingers through his hair again. Frowns. Then lightens up.

This is fantastic! I literally am inside a human heart! You bet no one ever managed that before.

You gather some confidence and ask Who are you?

His face breaks into a wide smile. Oh, yes. I'm the Doctor. Nice to meet you.

He shakes your hand. You begin to feel that he is not dangerous.

Well, now that I made it here I might just as well have a look around, what do you think?

But it's my heart.

That's why I was implying a question.

Very considerate. You manage a hint of sarcasm. Suddenly you feel a bit overwhelmed and sit down.

I didn't cause any damage, did I? Like I said, I've never been to a human heart before. He looks into your eyes and examines you with a sort of metal pen with a blue light at one end. Nope, everything seems to be fine. Now, would you like to give me a tour or should I venture on my own?

You definitely don't feel comfortable at the thought of that inquisitive, curious man poking into all the rooms of your heart. And somehow you are very sure he would even find the hidden ones.

I don't know. That's a bit personal, don't you think? I mean, how would you feel if a stranger suddenly appeared in your heart, wanting to see everything?

He smiles a brilliant smile. Don't know. Never happened to me before.

If I show you, can you take me into your heart afterwards?

The Doctor taps his metal pen against his chin and frowns in concentration. I am not sure if that's possible. I don't usually do hearts. I do time and space and that sort of thing. Planets, you know.

Well then I'm sorry, I will have to say no. I mean this is just too weird.

As you see the disappointment on his face, you feel you have to offer him something. But would you like a cup of tea? Or some lasagna later on?

Nah, I don't go for the domestic stuff.

Well, then. There is an awkward pause. Unexpectedly, the Doctor flashes a smile and gets all hectic, limbs flailing about, feet bouncing.

Well, nice to have met you, er... anyway. I've got to go. There is this sun burning up that I really need to see. Bye! He waves at you before stepping back into the box.

Wait! Something just occurred to you. He pokes his head out of the door, a look of hope on his face.

Are there many more ... (you search for the right word) people like you around? I mean, is it likely I will get more visitors like you?

Oh. ... No. There's just me. For an instant he looks so sad you want to go and hug him. Which in fact, you do so quickly that you are somewhat taken aback of the sudden feeling of warmth. And the strange thing is you can definitely feel a double heartbeat.