Spare Parts

By Andrew J. Talon

Disclaimer: Neon Genesis Evangelion is not my property, it is owned by Gainax. I am not making profit off this story. In short, please don't sue.

Author's Note: Man, it has occurred to me that I have a LOT of story snippets and concepts laying around. Things I've never been able to figure out how to get working. But! Maybe you guys can. So, to kick off the Evangelion edition of my "unfinished showcase", here's an idea I had with the opening of the fourth Indiana Jones movie.

- - - - - - - - -

University of Chicago, Illinois. 2015

The dark lecture hall seldom saw visitors after the end of the day's classes. Few night classes were big enough to warrant it.

It was precisely this reason the dean of the University of Chicago had elected to use it as a meeting place. Across from him sat two United States Army officers, like teachers ready for a presentation. The Dean looked up at the clock ticking away, and repressed a sigh.

"He will be here soon, I assure you," the Dean said. The taller of the officers nodded.

"We have heard he's worth the wait," he replied. The Dean tried to suppress a smirk at that.

"Yes, well... Opinions vary."

The doors to the lecture hall opened, and through it stepped a tall, black-haired young man, a pair of round glasses perched on his nose. He was dressed in a decidedly ugly tweed suit, and carried a few heavy volumes. Both officers stood up along with the Dean.

"Ah, Shinji... Thank you for coming," he said with a smile. The young man smiled back and approached.

"This is Colonel Danvers and Major Thomas, United States Army Intelligence," the Dean introduced their guests. The colonel reached forward and shook the young man's hand, and was surprised at his firm grip.

"You must be Shinji Ikari," the colonel guessed, as Shinji shook Thomas' hand. Shinji nodded.

"That's me..."

"One of the youngest to receive a degree in anthropology in this University's history," the Dean said proudly.

"Well, I had a lot of help, and worked hard," Shinji said modestly. "My uncle gave me the shot I needed."

"That's not the only reason you're rather famous, Mr. Ikari," Danvers said with a small smile. Shinji blinked, looking utterly innocent.

"Mr. Ikari, there's no need to keep up appearances here," the major soothed.

"I've taken the usual precautions, Shinji. No need to worry," the Dean added. Shinji sighed, and put the books down. He sat on the edge of a desk and looked intently at the Army officers, keen eyes measuring them both. For a time he almost resembled a tiger about to pounce, cold blue eyes predatory and calculating, before he relaxed and the humble school teacher reappeared.

"I find it hard to believe that the US government would find my... Expeditions of significant value," Shinji said. The Colonel opened his briefcase, pulled out a folder, and set it on the table.

"Believe me, Mr. Ikari, your expeditions have been of great interest to the US government, especially in light of the UN blackout of information related to the Katsuragi expedition. Can you tell me," Danvers said, opening the folder, "what these are?"

Shinji picked up the folder and flipped through a series of photographs. He frowned at the images of scientists in arctic clothing maneuvering a massive two-pronged spear into position in front of a gigantic humanoid.

"... Looks like..." He flipped to another image, eyes widening slightly. GEHRIN could be seen in the background of one on a crate.

The ice, the giant humanoid...

"The Katsuragi Expedition... To the South Pole?" Shinji asked. "Where did you get these?"

"One of our satellites managed to pick up a low band data transmission and record some of it just before Second Impact occurred," Thomas stated. "In the resulting chaos it took us years before we could get a shuttle up there to retrieve it's data. It's communications system was shot."

Shinji continued looking through the images, frowning at a few lines of text on a computer. The next photo digitally enhanced it.

"This looks like Hebrew... Dead Seas Scrolls... First lines of the so-called War Scroll," Shinji surmised. He looked up at the two officers and frowned.

"To be honest, I fail to see what this has to do with me..."

"The past fifteen years has seen the United Nations, and GEHRIN, now NERV, confiscating a variety of ancient artifacts dated to the first, second and third centuries AD, and the Dead Sea Scrolls among them," Danvers said. "In addition, NERV has been receiving massive monetary and military aid from Japan." He pointed at the folder.

"The purpose being to construct or create creatures or mechanical monsters to combat the so-called Angels."

"Yes... Gods in this context seem to refer to 'messengers', angels in other words." Shinji paused. "You mean to tell me that GEHRIN... Set off Second Impact?"

"Possibly, possibly not, we don't know," Thomas admitted. "All we do know is that they seem to be expecting more of these things, and they're building these constructs to fight them."

"Why hasn't the US government interrogated NERV about this?" Shinji asked. Danvers sighed.

"In addition to essentially making our military their peacekeeping and conquest force, the Valentine Treaty has made NERV an entirely independent organization, outside of anyone's jurisdiction," Danvers answered, a hint of bitterness in his tone. "In addition, the past administrations have been supported by NERV's backers."

"So the government's in their pocket," Shinji stated. He sighed. "So... You think that because my father, the head of NERV, sent me a letter simply reading 'Come' yesterday means that I might be able to figure some of this stuff out? Become your inside man?"

Danvers smirked, while Thomas just blinked in mild disbelief.

"You don't miss a trick, Mr. Ikari," the colonel complimented. Shinji shrugged and smiled slightly.

"To be honest, I was considering just telling him to piss off. He abandoned me. Uncle Indy found me and brought me to America, raising me as his son. I don't feel I particularly owe that bastard who claims to be my father anything."

Shinji set the file down on the table and frowned thoughtfully. The officers waited.

"... But, Uncle Indy taught me more than just anthropology," Shinji said. "And whatever's going on... I want to know what it is. Hell, recovering this," Shinji pointed to the photo of the giant humanoid and the red lance, "either of them? They'd put anything I've found before to shame. So... When do I leave?"

- - - -

Captain Misato Katsuragi had to admit-Shinji Ikari wasn't quite what she expected. She'd heard only a little about him-Child prodigy, already had a college degree-and accordingly had thought she was going to be picking up some skinny kid in dorky glasses.

The tall, handsome young man with an old fedora, leather jacket, and bullwhip at his belt? Not even in her top 100 ideas of what he would be like.

When she'd screamed for him to run to her car as the Angel attacked, he'd run and dove like you were taught to in basic training to avoid fire. When the N2 mine was dropped, he covered her first. And he had no issues with helping her fix her car.

"Welcome to NERV," she said grandly, as the car trolley toted them down through the Geofront. Shinji grinned, eyes eagerly eating everything up.

"Wow! It resembles some ancient Mesopotamian underground cities! Granted, they were short lived and generally used only during wet seasons but still! The dimensions are a lot bigger but the basic idea... It looks like a caldera, though the basalt deposits look..."

Misato blinked in disbelief, and then slowly nodded.

"Uh... Sure..."

- - - -

"This is Man's ultimate fighting machine: the synthetic life-form known as Evangelion Unit 01. Built here in secret, it is Mankind's last hope," Dr. Ritsuko Akagi stated. Misato looked over at Shinji, expecting him to make an intellectual comment about the mecha before him.

"... It's purple."

"... Yes, it is," Ritsuko deadpanned.

"So, I'm here to... What?" Shinji asked, scratching his head underneath his fedora.

"Pilot it," Ritsuko supplied.

"That is correct!" Boomed a voice from above. Shinji looked up, seeing his father standing in a glass observation chamber, looking down at them with what might be called a small smirk.

"It's been a long time," Gendo Ikari stated. Shinji snorted and then spat.

"Not long enough," Shinji shot back. Gendo's eyebrows rose and Shinji fought a smirk. Uncle Indy had kept his promise-Aside from what he was doing, his father didn't know squat about what he'd be like.


- - -

Shinji had tried to play for time, see what he could get from his father as the Angel ("Messenger" would be a more accurate translation) continued to attack. Instead, he'd decided to blackmail him into piloting by pulling out an injured girl.

As the room shook again and parts of the ceiling began to fall, Shinji spotted a large chunk headed for the injured girl.

"LOOK OUT-!" Misato shouted, but the warning was unneeded. A crack of leather rang out in the room and the girl's gurney was yanked towards Shinji, narrowly avoiding the deadly wreckage.

Shinji, however, tripped and fell on top of Rei in the gurney, causing the girl to cry out.

"Sorry! Sorry!" Shinji shouted, tumbling out of the gurney with the girl landing on top of him. He winced.


"Shinji! Shinji, are you okay?" Misato shouted, rushing over to the two teenagers. Shinji blushed, and then looked up at the cringing Rei.

"We'll have to try this again some time," he murmured, gently handing her to Misato. He stood up and glared right at Gendo.

"I'm piloting."

Gendo smirked...

"But if I don't get paid, kiss your balls goodbye," Shinji growled, emphasizing this statement with a crack of his whip.

The wince Gendo suffered at this made Shinji wonder just what it was about whips that...

"Oh God," Shinji mumbled. "Bad thoughts, bad thoughts!"

- - - -

The battle had been going great... For the Angel, at least.

For one thing, Shinji hadn't the slightest idea what the hell an AT field was. He'd made a bright red flashy beam thing a few times, but other than that, nothing.

For another? He sucked with knives. Uncle Indy had taught him what he could but Shinji had naturally taken to the whip. It was his favorite and most useful weapon/tool.

Hence, he'd decided to just throw the useless Prog Knife at the Angel as hard as he could. Predictably, this did nothing.

"Damnit!" He shouted as he narrowly dodged another blast from the Angel. Angels. He was really beginning to hate Angels...

Another shot, and the lights in the foul-tasting entry plug turned red.

"Wh-What the hell just happened?" Shinji shouted over the radio.

"Your umbilical cord was just shot off! You have five minutes of power left!" A very nice technician girl shouted back. Shinji growled.

"We're ejecting it! Try to get to another power station-!" Shinji had to duck another blast from the Angel, and a loud explosion of bolts launched the plug of the cord out onto the street. Shinji paused and took a good look at the umbilical cord. He grabbed the large handle on top of the plug, and as he rushed away from another shot from the Angel he whipped it around experimentally.

"Shinji, what the hell are you doing?! Get back and fight! This is no time to be playing games!" Misato shouted. Shinji ignored her.

Hmmm... It'll have to do... Okay, AT Field... Flashy Thing... GO!

With this thought, Shinji managed to unleash another AT Field burst, which neutralized the Angel's. At the same time, he swung his improvised whip at the Angel's legs, entangling them just as he'd seen his Uncle Indy do (and he had done) dozens of times. He yanked with all of his strength, and the Angel lost it's footing, falling to the street with a massive crash.

Before it would recover, Shinji rushed the Angel, grabbing the discarded Prog Knife and slamming it into the first important-looking thing he could reach-A large red sphere.


Thrown back by the force of the explosion, Shinji groaned and slumped back on the ground, the Eva copying his actions.

"Note to self... Don't do that again..."

- - - -

For the purposes of this story concept, Indiana Jones would have been made immortal by drinking from the Holy Grail, and just happened to be passing through Japan when Shinji was abandoned. He decided to take the kid in and take him to America, where Shinji, in the proper learning environment, took after his uncle and got himself a doctorate in anthropology by the age of 15 (He's teaching his first semester at the time of this story).

His Uncle has vanished, giving Shinji more reason to infiltrate NERV given that Dr. Jones was investigating Dead Sea Scroll-related relics. He has taken on the attire of his mentor and guardian to honor him... And because it's just really cool.

Can Shinji Ikari find and save Indiana Jones? And together, can they save the world?