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" Reddy, you know the Boss is on his weekly inspection, and if we don't keep a straight face while he inspects us, he's going to dock our pay. "
It was a quiet day in Team Galactic Headquarters. Most of the commanding officers were silent, as they did not want to feel their boss, Cyrus's wrath, because even though the spiky blue-haired leader was as monotonous as a cup of two-week tapioca, his calm demeanor and usage of complicated words made up the musty smell of fear throught the Team. Of course, there are always exceptions to the unwritten rule of silence, where the rule was ignored and tossed out, and for two of the of the leading officers, this rule wasn't going so well.
Saturn, who was a quiet man of twenty and ten months, was desperately trying to hush his partner, Mars, who was a talkative bundle of joy and carelessness. The two commanders were in what they called a office, which was really a small, abandoned library that was somewhere on the third floor, and nothing could upset the blue-haired one more than a squeaky giggle on the day of inspection.
" Mars, " he said in a serious, neutral tone. " You have to learn to control yourself. If we fail inspection......"
" If we fail inspection, we won't get killed off the face of the earth, so there's nothing to worry about, " Mars hastily retorted. " Gawd. you can be such a worry-wort, Saturn. "
Saturn shook his head. " We are respectable officers, Reddy. If we act like mindless buffoons, then what shall the world think of us when we try to dominate the people ? "
" We use bayonets and machine guns to convince them. "
" Cyrus says that violence should not be the answer. "
" Well, Cyrus doesn't have much of a social life, so what answer does he have ? To have a worldwide competition of chess to see who should....'take over the world in a civilized manner' ? "
" You have a point, but- "
Mars rolled her eyes. She stood up from the wheely-chair that she was sitting on and tapped Saturn's forehead with her knuckles. Bright red eyes seemed to sigh at the unemotional blue ones that kept her company. " Why would you argue with my point and me ? " she whined. " You're my partner, so I thought you would stick with me no matter how deep of a pile of crap that I dig ourselves into. Gawd, I just wish.....I just wish that you would be a better friend. You know that I can be very lonely sometimes......"
Tears started to form at the corners of her eyes. Saturn sweatdropped. Even though laughter was a bad thing for inspection day, a sobfest would be worse. If Cyrus found Mars sniffling in the corner and using up all of the organization's Kleenex, it would be the end of them. " Unstable people are unfit to lead the universe, " he had said once, " and that includes people who overexpress themselves, and people who cannot keep themselves in check at a formal event. "
So a hand gently shook Mars's shoulder, and Saturn attempted a smile that turned out crooked. " I'm sorry, Reddy. You can make as much noise as you want to, " he said aloud. " Because if you start crying, we'd be bound for toilet duty for the next month, " he thought in his head.
^.^ " OKAY, THEN ! " The tears immediately disappeared, and Mars cackled as she held up a bottle used for making fake tears. She hugged Saturn tightly. " You're so sweet to me, I don't know what to do with myself sometimes ! "
Saturn groaned silently. He should have known that this was a trick, but somehow he always fell for Mars's manipulation techniques. Groaning again, he shook his head in dismay. " Whatever. I can't believe you. Can't you ever be quiet like everyone else ? "
Mars looked appalled. " And be like a boring Schlomo ? I think not ! "
" Please, Mars, if you don't want to do this for yourself, think about us as a whole. Think about rent. Think about being able to make fun of Pluto because you have enough money to get past his odd security system. Think about....me. "
The red-haired woman stood silent for a few seconds before crossing her arms. She wagged a finger at Saturn. " All right, then, Saturn, you've convinced me. I can be persuaded very easily when I have a good reason to be persuaded. As you know, I am a very childish person at heart. "
Saturn gave a look of confusion. " And ? Do you want Legos ? I could ask Pluto for some. Everybody who's childish usually have a thing for Legos...."
" I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT LEGOS, DAMMIT ! " Mars snapped, stomping her left foot. " Gawd, Saturn, sometimes you can be more naive than Cyrus ! "
" Then....what are you talking about ? " Saturn asked.
Mars grinned evilly. She took off her uniform jacket to reveal a rather revealing red tank-top. Her lips curled into a smirk. Saturn, for the first time in a long while, sweatdropped. " Reddy, I don't think that's very appropriate right now......."
" Are you a wimp, Saturn ? "
" No. "
" Well, then, pick me up. "
" Problem ? "
" I don't understand, " Saturn mumbled sheepishly.
Mars slapped her forehead. " Pick me up, place me onto the desk, kiss me like Godzilla, and at least try to know what you're doing. Gaaawd. "
Saturn stared blankly at his partner for several minutes before finally figuring out that she was hitting on him. He nodded slowly, as he really didn't know what he was doing. " Okay, " was his simple response.
She yanked off his jacket and shirt. All Saturn could think about as he showed human emotion by blushing was :
" I need to stop giving Mars her way all the time......"
Cyrus walked at a steady, slow pace with his hands behind his back. After a day of inspecting lowly grunts and joyful commanders, he saved the best for last. He already inspected Jupiter's progress, and he was still trying to get dark purple lipstick from his shirt collar, but now he would check on his best team.
He slipped into the hallway, towards the dilapidated library, silently telling himself not to take too much time inspecting this team so he could fiddle with a miniature helicopter that he found on the ground outside his house. A bony hand reached for the doorknob. Anticipation for success was making him practically sweat.
When he stepped inside, he heard a sharp giggle. Female. When his eyes finally decided to look deeper into the 'office', he saw Mars and Saturn laying on the desk, half-naked, making out. No competent response could be given. " Er....."
Saturn looked up from his position before slowly going back to the giggling female. Cyrus shook his head. " Er.....I'll come back later. "
And with that, the leader of Team Galactic slowly went out of the library, leaving two commanding officers to giggle at will.